| | Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationshipPage 7 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | A sex-test before courting??
So many people are wanting to get in the fast lane to avoid wasting time getting to know someone.
Unfortunately there is NO OTHER WAY to get to know someone without spending your precious time.
There may be incompatibilities along the way, sex being one of them, but you don't have to get naked to learn of another's sexuality. Kissing, dancing, the way they touch you... you can tell if you're mutually turned-on. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:29:48 PM |
There may be incompatibilities along the way, sex being one of them, but you don't have to get naked to learn of another's sexuality. Kissing, dancing, the way they touch you... you can tell if you're mutually turned-on.
I've had a man that could curl your toes with a kiss.......and that was as good as it got!
I've known a man that won awards as a dancer.......but couldn't kiss worth a damn....and the sex was even worse.
I've married a man that rocked my world in the bedroom......and couldn't dance to save his life!
While I do agree kissing is an area that can make or break a decision to move to another date........it is not always an indicator of the type of lover they are. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:38:03 PM |
I've had a man that could curl your toes with a kiss.......and that was as good as it got!
Oh so true!! Never thought that someone who could kiss that well and make me feel that way, could leave me cold in bed. Oh well we live and learn. And so I say, sleep with him before I get too attached!! | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:43:16 PM | Ugh, no thank you. First of all, sex with a virtual stranger is not my cup of tea. I'm uncomfortable, we're both trying really hard but we know nothing about each other to guide us, and I can't be entirely sure I won't regret having you as a notch on my bedpost.
I'm not saying I'm waiting for a ring. I can't say I'd be waking for anything in particular. I just have no desire to do something I'm uncomfortable with as some sort of experiment. I guess I just want to wait until I don't want to wait anymore. :) | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 5:29:04 PM | | IMO...it all depends what you are seeking in a sexual and relationship situatuion. If you are just looking for sex it is hard to really gauge thag without discussion. If you're looking for a relationship, you MUST have the conversation beforehand. Because true trust and intimacy is built on that communication. You can also find out if you can handle your partners needs. If you can't...chances are it won't work long term. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:52:06 PM |
My personal experience is that women who see sex as ``sacred'' are generally the worst in bed because all that matters to them is that you are you and they'll be more than happy no matter what you do.
Same thing here. The "sex is special" or "sex is a gift" crowd typically always does this whole buildup thing and a lot of talk like it will be the most wonderful thing ever, and...it's -terrible- (IMO). On the flip side, the people who are like "sex is fun" and "isn't a big deal" are normally the best at it. And, when/if the relationship progression happens, that good basis is now combined with actual emotion, making it even better. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:04:16 PM | Well...D'u-h-h-h-h-hhh..!!
Why go through a whole series of prerequisites and courting rituals...only to find out that you don't match-up, sexually..??
My last gf at least made an effort to supplement her diet to increase her ~desire~.
...but, alas...she could take it or leave it...she just didn't Care all that much for sex, anyway..!
I like talking openly and frankly about our sexual desires...
but it's not _First_ on my list...
and not on the First Date...
unless _She_ brings it up First!! | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:40:53 PM | | I think its hard to be sexually compatible before going through the courting process..no one is perfect the first time around and some people need to shown, or taught exactly what you need in bed...not everyone has had the same experiences but true love should be about learning to please each other IN AND OUT OF BED. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:00:14 AM | | It's frightening to see how many people have this silly idea of "it can be taught!" It's not a video game with set motions that you can learn to repeat over and over to "win" at sex. It's also a kind of clue as to those people's level of taste/experience/history as well - the only way you can really make that kind of statement is if you're not really discerning at all and kind of happy with just being with someone. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 5:13:12 AM | | This could be one of the most discussed topics on the forum. True, starter sex is far from perfect. But, you've got to start somewhere and soon. At least we did and that is the kind of companion I had been looking looking for. When you're older (53) and still interested in sex ; why wait to determine your compatibility? Believe it or not some folks (both m/f) are either unable or disinterested. For whatever reason. These folks would be great mates for those wishing to play "bored" games or enter the dreaded "friend zone". One previous post was inquiring about daily sex; Imagine the differences that exist. Why shouldn't these desires be expressed by the 2nd date/meeting? Deception, unfortunately, is the only behavior that comes to mind. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:54:50 AM | Me personally I think you need to get to know someone a bit before hitting the sheets, the car, alleyways, etc.
That being said I have no set time on how long that takes. What I can say is that if the chemistry is there and you're tingling in all the right places then go for it.
It would really suck to build an attraction to his mind only to find he sucks in the sack. :-p. Sex isn't everything but it is a big part of a healthy relationship. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 8/2/2012 10:57:03 AM | To assist with sexual compatibility, there should be a new category of genital size in the profiles and just narrow it down to small, average, and large. This will not guarantee sexual compatibility, but it will go a long way in narrowing down potential candidates since external size doesn't correlate with genital size.
Many times have I spent a long time and lots of money seducing women only to find out that we didn't quite 'fit' when it got down to it. Most of them assumed I was "larger" since I'm 6' but it's not a good pickup line to say "If I stretch it, I can almost get 4 inches. Do you think we'll fit?". Humans are all different sizes so we should find lovers of comparable size. Someday I hope to find a physically and sexually compatible woman but it's real hard when you have to ask in your initial questions whether the woman is physically compatible - especially when you have never had the compatibility you are looking for. | |
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| Sexual Compatibility...find out first or later in the relationship
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:37:00 AM | i think it alll depends on what youre looking for in a partner. if youre just looking for someone to be a great lover, by all means, have sex with them right away. if youre looking for someone you are really compatible with for a long term relationship, i dont think that their sexual compatibility with you should really be a big issue. ive not been with a ton of women, but ive been with enough, and ive really only met one that totally disappointed me sexually. not that all women ive been with were great lovers, or even good lovers, cause they werent. they were good enough though.
its all a matter of finding whats really important to you. if your lover's ability to please you in the bedroom is really that important to you, sure, sleep with them right away. i would go ahead and tell your dating prospect what your priorities are though. if they dont line up with theirs, that might be an issue. still, its better to be honest about it than to lead people on thinking that youre really looking for a great guy/girl when youre mostly looking for a great lover. | |
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