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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Truebeautycomeswithin
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 51
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!Page 3 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I agree with that as well,you see so many having sex outside of there marriage then bring home diseases and giving it to there wife or husband.There putting there spouse life on the line.I think they should make this a law now.if you have sex outside your marriage and cheat on your spouse you could serve time.I think one day they might eventually bring this law and alot of men and women that cheat are going to be very disappointed.it will teach alot of married people to be faithful and stop sleeping outside of there marriage.
 Jonezy
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 52
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 4:44:17 PM
I would like to ask a few questions here .

How many of you have been married ?

How many of you have been cheated on ?

How do you know how you would act if you were cheated on ?

It's easy to say "I'd kick them out . " or "I'd get a divorce" , but until you're in those shoes you'll never know . I'm married and my wife was having an affair . I would NOT have charged my spouse with adultery if it were against the law . I love her more than anything in the world and we both suffered a lot , let alone the mess that would be there if it were a criminal offence . Since then we've talked everything out and have decided to have an open marriage instead of separation/divorce . We both see others if we wish , but we both know that we come first with each other . Sex is just that , sex . Love is something different and if love is there , forgiveness is easy .

It seems as though the single people always have marriages figured out .
 CountIbli
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 53
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 5:08:38 PM
If I'm not mistaken it's actually illegal in Massachusetts, though probably never enforced. I seem to remeber hearing about a woman in Rhode Island who was charged with adultery several years ago.

Okay, I just looked it up. Adultery is illegal in Massachusetts under Part IV, Title I, Chap 272, Sec 14:

A married person who has sexual intercourse with a person not his spouse or an unmarried person who has sexual intercourse with a married person shall be guilty of adultery and shall be punished by imprisonment in the state prison for not more than three years or in jail for not more than two years or by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars.
 Truebeautycomeswithin
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 54
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 5:09:39 PM
No no no!
we do have the sense enough to know that it is wrong and alot of people are not going for that cheating.its even if you werent married and the girlfriend cheated on you.The boyfriend is more then likely going to leave and not stand around to get cheated on again.once a cheater they say is always a cheat.alot of times the person will accept the person back that cheated on them and what happens again they get cheated on.it comes a point and time when you have to put your foot down and say I am somedbody and I deserved to be treated like somedboy.dont think less of yourself and think that you have to put up with people treating you like a nobody.I know some cases the kids are involved as well.but that only makes things harder when the kid sees the parents not getting along.the kids will think thats the right way to live in a destructive home.its not,a kid needs to be living in a home where it is healthy and stable.There is no excuse for cheating.
 Truebeautycomeswithin
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 55
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 5:12:03 PM
somebody I meant to say.
 VictorNorth
Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 56
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 5:13:41 PM
Hi Jonezy...

I have been married, and she did cheat on me...so I am talking from experience.

For the writer who quoted, "He who is without sin..." By this reasoning there should be no law for anything.

Fact is...marriage is a legal contract, and it seems to be the only legal contract I know of that can be broken without consequence. I don't buy into 'divorce settlements' as being a consequence. The partner who breaks the contract can still walk away with everything, while the victim is left feeling violated and assaulted.

If we just chalk it up to, 'too bad, so sad, that's life', then that should give me the freedom to violate and assault anyone at my discretion. I can't wrap my mind around how its okay to threaten someone's life by cheating in a marriage, but not in other situations. Someone please tell me the difference??

Hard to prove?? So is burglary and murder...but that doesn't make it right or legal.
 namelessgrace
Joined: 7/3/2005
Msg: 57
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 5:56:04 PM
Mr. O,
You've gone off the deep end my friend. You want to legislate how people treat each other in a marriage? I am not in any way defending adultery here...BUT: it takes two to tango. Let's say you charge your wife with cheating (because it's a law now)...she can come back and say you drove her to it. You were insensitve to her needs, you didn't satisfy her, you were never home, etc, etc, etc. It will end up just like every other law, with LOOP-HOLES...and for good reason sometimes. You enter into a marriage with good faith...or at least most people do. Believing that you will work thru problems when they arise, you will communicate, respect and support your spouse, and she, you. Doesn't always work out like that. It is a chance we all take with life. What comes next...can I sue if my husband if he decides to leave me for a younger women? Should marriage be a life-sentence if one partner is unhappy and the other is not? These are not things you can make a law for. I do feel for your situation, and wish more people felt as strongly about the bond of marriage as you obviously do. But the last thing we need is govt. in the bedroom. (and can you imagine the number of police manpower it would take to document every affair in this country?!) Best of luck to you!
 Sundown33
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 58
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 6:03:37 PM
OH FOR HEAVEN SAKE, THIS CRAP HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH !! WE ALL ( AND I MEAN EVERYONE) SHOULD JUST GET TOGETHER SOMEWHERE AND HAVE A GREAT BIG ORGY
AND GET IT ALL OUT OF OUR SYSTEM !!! MABIE THEN WE CAN ACTUALY GO GET SOMETHING DONE!!!
 Always Smiling35
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 59
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/28/2005 9:13:39 PM
^^^^ lol
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 60
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 6:09:47 AM
I'm sure most of you missed my point on this topic!


If you want to be with someone else, get divorced.
If your spouse is treating you badly , get divorced.
If the love is gone, get divorced.

If you decide to jump into bed with someone else before the marriage is over then you are responsible for the break up! and being responsible there should be consequences. (beyond monetary divorce)

Adultery was a criminal offence and there were less instances of it.

Before you go and ruin the kids lives, and everyone else that is associated with the marriage you should think a little more. the fact that it is not a criminal offence makes it easier for people to phuck others over!

I'm not talking about STD's or sh!t like that, there are already laws for that.

I'm talking about the guy that his wife cheats and he goes and kills her and the kids! (extreem example)


I haven't heard any better ideas from the peanut gallery. What would you suggest.


and as far as catching someone, there are many ways to do that. it should be obvious.



I"m not a religious man, but the 10 commandments should ALL be law!!!
 *BumbleBee*
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 61
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 7:08:27 AM
I don't think anybody disagrees that people SHOULDN'T cheat. I believe we also all agree on the effects it can have on everyone involved. However....


I"m not a religious man, but the 10 commandments should ALL be law!!!


The punishment for breaking the commandment that says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" is divorce, and it's up to the people involved whether or not it is enforced.

THAT is the way it should remain.

What better ideas are you looking for from the peanut gallery!? We're here to state our opinion on the idea you suggested in your OP, and those of us who posted here did exactly that.

I suggested that if this ever became law, everybody should re-write their vows to exclude portions about remaining faithful. The couple would have the same amount of trust in one another whether they uttered those words or not, and people who are inclined to cheat will do so even if they vow not to.

IF this ever became law, and IF I ever got married again, I would NOT vow or have my husband to be vow that we would not cheat. I'd trust that he wouldn't, and he'd trust that I wouldn't.

If the relationship should fail, there is absolutely no need to give people another thing to fight about and to drag each other to court over for years to come. THAT would ruin the lives of the children involved.
 Always Smiling35
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 62
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 7:15:25 AM
What better ideas are you looking for from the peanut gallery!? We're here to state our opinion on the idea you suggested in your OP, and those of us who posted here did exactly that.



Exactly. Dude, if you do not like what "the peanut gallery" has to say, dont post on a public forum asking for opinions. Try learning from them and respect that you will get people agreeing and disagreeing with you in varying degrees. If every-one on the forums agreed with what the original poster had to say about any topic, this would be a very boring place and most likely not popular at all.

As for the responses "missing the point";
People will take what they read from the thread and inturpret it from their own perspective.
Some of it goes way off base, but for the most part it can be tied in, and in most cases it makes a thread much more interesting and adds a dynamic to the topic that was not there before.

OT; The Ten Commandmants should be law?
Good luck enforcing those. If there is a god and that is already his law 99% of this planet is headed to hell.
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 63
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:17:31 AM

Good luck enforcing those. If there is a god and that is already his law 99% of this planet is headed to hell.



Exactly


maybe bumblebee has the right idea.

Maybe manogamy shouldn't be part of marriage!

good luck with that!


I realize this topic is like beating a dead horse. I'm NOT looking for people to agree with me on this at all. I'm more interested in peoples attitudes towards adultery and what their ideas are on the subject. If you are not married it's not a big deal to cheat or sleep around. But WHY get married and cheat! Doesn't make sense and it just goes to show why it happens. Peoples opinions on the subject are way too laxed! Simple commitment doesn't seem to keep it from happening and nothing will. Not even criminal charges. It's peoples attitudes and moral values that continue to decline and allow for casual sex!

it's not right and we know it. we don't want it to happen to us, but we are more than willing at times to do it to others!

Humans suck!
 sigh99
Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 64
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:23:54 AM
IM not married and never have been b ut i think there are too many stupid "laws" and this would be #1. People cheat things dont always work out but really A criminal offence??
 *BumbleBee*
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 65
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:33:11 AM
maybe bumblebee has the right idea.

Maybe manogamy shouldn't be part of marriage!

good luck with that!




Either you misunderstood me, or you're attempting to put words in my mouth. Either way, I did NOT say that monogamy should not be a part of a marriage.

I DO feel that people should be faithful to one another. I do NOT feel that they will be more faithful if there are laws governing their bedroom activities or lack thereof.

Should there also be a law regarding the number of times a couple should have sex per week? Oh, and let's not forget oral ... there should be laws about who does what when, right? I mean, how else are we going to make it fair? Sheesh!!!

I DO feel that such a law would have adverse effects on society in general, and I DO feel that it would have a domino effect in the system.

I DO feel that people who get married should trust in each other, and not in a law to keep them faithful.

I DO feel that communication is key ..... NOT communicating with the best private detective you can find to follow your spouse IN CASE they cheat, but communicating with EACH OTHER.




If you are not married it's not a big deal to cheat or sleep around. But WHY get married and cheat!


I find that to be rather hypocritical, to say the least.

Why is it not a big deal to cheat if you're not married!?

I feel that it is a big deal, regardless of whether the couple has walked down the aisle or not.

Are you saying that people can sleep with whomever they choose until the day of the wedding!?

And then you expect those same people to never do it again!?

Are those your moral values, and that your attitude!?

Is that not akin to telling an alcoholic that they can get wasted every day until a certain day at a certain hour, and then they'll have to quit cold turkey? Would you expect them to slip up? Of course they would.


it's not right and we know it. we don't want it to happen to us, but we are more than willing at times to do it to others!


Speak for yourself. WE are not willing. YOU may be, but I for one, am not.
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 66
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:39:05 AM
So everyone should write their own wedding vows and not include anything about fidelity.



Your words not mine!


Most wedding vows do not include the words I won't phuck around on you!


For the record I have never had sex with anyone other than the person I was with.
 *BumbleBee*
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 67
Infidelity should NOT be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 8:51:21 AM
Right. I did say that, but if you're going to debate, read everything I say.

Including, but not limited to....


I suggested that if this ever became law, everybody should re-write their vows to exclude portions about remaining faithful. The couple would have the same amount of trust in one another whether they uttered those words or not, and people who are inclined to cheat will do so even if they vow not to.

IF this ever became law, and IF I ever got married again, I would NOT vow or have my husband to be vow that we would not cheat. I'd trust that he wouldn't, and he'd trust that I wouldn't.


If the couple has TRUST in one another and they COMMUNICATE openly and effectively, there would be less cheaters.

We DO NOT need laws to govern our bedrooms.

Anal is against the law in some places, but guess what? People still do it.

I also never said that any wedding vows had the words, " I won't phuck around on you!".

There are, however, portions of the vows that are related to fidelity.

If it's suggestions you want, you'll have to personalize this. Did your wife cheat on you? Is that why you're current status is separated? Are you looking for ways to "get back at her"?

If it happened to you, I'm sorry. However, life happens. Shit happens. People have to be able to deal with some things without the law being involved.

Has it been your experience that the law has always worked in your favour? Let's assume not, since I know not of anyone who can truthfully say that. What makes you think it would in a case like this?

If you charged your wife for cheating she should also be able to charge you for sucking in bed or not giving it to her enough. I'm not excusing the act of cheating, or of sucking in bed or having different sex drives.

Just saying that people need to lever themselves up so that these situations don't occur, and if they do occur, people need to suck it up.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 68
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:02:04 AM
I can answer yes to your questions Jonezy!!!!

OT: Please realize that laws governing every aspect of our lives isn't freedom and safety....
Murder carries a hefty penalty yet is committed everyday....
There are nations that control even the uniform size of baguettes...nobody is allowed to sell them at a larger size than anyone else....

Too many laws create a smothering effect on ppl....

Less government creates a thinking growing ppl....
 TheDevilsAdvocate
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 69
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:07:18 AM
I'm all for laissez-faire. The government should have SOME laws, but leave for exceptions.

Then again, I'm also an "eye for an eye" person. So I'd rather get my revenge than involve the authorities.

Maria XOXO
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 70
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:15:27 AM

Did your wife cheat on you? Is that why you're current status is separated? Are you looking for ways to "get back at her"?


No not at all.


I'm not the type to get revenge or get back at someone.

If you don't compliment my life you simply are not a part of it! I don't have time nor desire for games.
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 71
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:19:10 AM

If you charged your wife for cheating she should also be able to charge you for sucking in bed or not giving it to her enough. I'm not excusing the act of cheating, or of sucking in bed or having different sex drives.



as if! children don't get hurt cuz someone sucks in bed!
 BamaGuy777
Joined: 2/23/2005
Msg: 72
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:21:48 AM
You can't legislate morality. That's what the "church" is trying to do and will fail miserably.
 bunomatic
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 73
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:21:57 AM
Perhaps if the 'other' person that moves in to destroy a marraige suffered some of the consequences of the infidelity such as the pain and loss etc.this would happen less but I doubt it.There are too many people that are selfish and think only of themselves.
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 74
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:36:45 AM
Sample of wedding vows.

Notice how there is nothing anywhere about fidelity! or adultry.

However adultery is grounds for divorce.

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my friend, my lover, the (mother/father) of my children and my (husband/wife). I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity.

I, [name], choose you [name] to be my [husband/wife], to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

google is great!
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 75
Infidelity should be a criminal offence!!!
Posted: 7/29/2005 9:42:07 AM
wrong! you left out the cleave only unto you part!
cleave means desire/have sex with btw

OT.....yes kids get hurt by divorce....
they also get hurt forever by watching an angry unhappy marriage
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