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| | age, appearance and what you thinkPage 5 of 13 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) | | ^^^^Yes. And what stands out to me about that thread was the women that went in there and made PERSONAL attacks towards other women....and actually had the nerve to attack what they looked like physically...as if they themselves were some kind of beauty queen. Lol. Trashy! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:33:32 AM | There are exceptions but just about everyone looks more or less their age. Why do some of us have the delusion that we look 'younger'? We want to.
It's part of the myth that we don't want to be considered 'too old' by potential mates. But the reality is if YOU are 55 do YOU care if your partner is 55? Just about everyone will say 'no'. So why do we think it a positive to 'look younger' than our age? Why the myth that the 'other person' cares?
I think the reason is because we've 'assumed' that getting older means being less fit ,less fun, less active, less sexual, less adventurous, etc. Others may think we are less of those things the older we become. Contrary to myth, there is no reason to put on pounds as we age...no reason to put away the short skirt, no reason not to throw a football around and not a reason to always act 'responsible'. 'Acting' old is some cultural hang up ingrained in our society. We don't want to be the stereoptype and we don't want others to think we are the stereotype.
Whenever i hear some crticism about some hot babe trying to dress like her daughter or a guy not 'growing up', I hope they are talking about me and my girlfriend. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:24:52 AM | There are exceptions but just about everyone looks more or less their age
I think your right....most people do look their age.....but there are many....many....people that either look a lot younger or a lot older.....not just a "few"
sciencetreker: Why do some of us have the delusion that we look 'younger'? We want to.
I don't doubt that a bit. I mean most of us want to look as good as we can for our age, but as FoRumOnly pointed out....Not all people are delusional.....there ARE people that do look a lot younger than their actual age just as there are people that look a lot older than their age. My X SIL is only 1.5 years older than me....and about 5 years ago her and I went out to eat and the guy asked her if she wanted to use her senior citizen discount. She wasn't even anywhere NEAR 55...I was embarrassed for her. She takes good care of herself....but, she has just always looked a lot older than what she really is.
sciencetreker: I think the reason is because we've 'assumed' that getting older means being less fit ,less fun, less active, less sexual, less adventurous, etc. Others may think we are less of those things the older we become. Contrary to myth, there is no reason to put on pounds as we age...no reason to put away the short skirt, no reason not to throw a football around and not a reason to always act 'responsible'. 'Acting' old is some cultural hang up ingrained in our society. We don't want to be the stereoptype and we don't want others to think we are the stereotype.
True. I would be willing to bet that the majority of us are not too thrilled with getting older. But this has nothing to do with people that actually DO look younger than their age. This has nothing to do with people that often get mistaken for being a lot younger.
sciencetreker: Whenever i hear some crticism about some hot babe trying to dress like her daughter or a guy not 'growing up', I hope they are talking about me and my girlfriend.
Now see......when I see an older women that looks like she's wearing her teenage daughter's clothes.....that's when I think "delusional". Wearing your teenage daughter's clothes is not going to make someone look younger. They might want to "believe" it does.....but often times it just makes them look like an older women that's trying to look young. I absolutely think an older women should dress sexy....but there's a fine line between looking sexy and looking silly. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:55:36 AM | ggggrrrr...
I seem to have started something I did not intend to.
The post was not so much as do we all think we look younger then we do.. I do think most of us see ourselves through prejudice eyes...which is fine.. BUT.
it was;
Do we have a hard time finding people in OUR age group,(over 45) that we are attracted to, because
we see THEM as looking their age and we see ourselves as looking younger.
some interesting posts have been put up about the general subject of how we see ourselves... but it is others i am curious about?
I think woman in their 40 and 50 are beautiful. some are stunning and very sexy...some have not cared for themselves or bad jeans, too tight jeans or trying too hard to be young. I find young girls, under 35 to be cute..BUT not as attractive as to what I like..some what like a woman 60 or so...just the WHOLE package. not just the number.
because like it or not age is NOT just a number, it has some attachments to that number. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:01:18 AM | cautiousluv...what is 'looking young'? That distinction is what many mature women would be best to rid their minds of.
I love it when my girlfriend puts on the short skirt, heels and tight blouse. She and her daughter are both around 115lbs and trade clothes., jewellry, etc. Such a contrast with my mother and sisters when they were that age!
If a woman wants to be sensual or attract a guy, she shouldn't get get too caught up worrying what other women think of ther clothes. Few guys will think a fit mature woman dresses 'too young' but rather looks like a hot babe It doesn' work when a woman tries to wear clothes too small for herself but a slim fit woman of 50 looks sensational in a halter top, bikini, or school girl uniform look. My girlfriend is a professional in the health field and dresses 'classy business attire' but I love it when we go out and she morphs to a more sassy, almost sluttish look. I'm sure some of her old fogey colleagues would shake their heads and go 'tsk,tsk'. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:10:52 AM |
Do we have a hard time finding people in OUR age group,(over 45) that we are attracted to, because
we see THEM as looking their age and we see ourselves as looking younger.
I have struggled with this a little myself....and to be perfectly honest the answer is YES, often times if the guy is around my age or older, I do see him as looking older and I'm not attracted to him. BUT.....I prefer to date guy's my age or older, SO.....I just date guy's that are my age and older that I'm attracted to. The older we get the harder it is to find but there ARE some really nice looking older men that are HOT. It all depends on how well they have maintained their body. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:12:55 AM |
Do we have a hard time finding people in OUR age group,(over 45) that we are attracted to, because
we see THEM as looking their age and we see ourselves as looking younger.
I think that is part of the problem with some people.
For me, often women's profiles pics in the USA younger than 28 don't appeal to me nor over 70. In Asia profiles pics over 45 don't appeal to me, nor younger than 24. THIS IS NOT SAYING they would date me or whom I would chose to date, just talking about what appeals to me from a pic. A very narrow answer.
IMO pics can be misleading, if someone looks good on a pic but moves like an elderly lady, or if their idea of a good time is a church social, then the actual persona affects one's perception of age. If a woman age 65 is always wanting to do a 5k run, that affects perception.
How a person appears in a well selected or poorly selected picture isn't the whole story.
Age is partially a number, and partially a hard reality, so IMO there aren't any hard and fast rules that apply. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:34:04 AM | native,
By involved I am talking about a romantic relationship., which eventually turned naturally to a sexual one.. I knew him purely as someone that came to watch me play for a year previous to dating him..He kind of grew on me like a wart.. (just kidding) but on a serious note as he kept showing up I once joked to a friend can you imagine the nose on the children this man will father.. His nose grew on me along with that cute beret he wore and funny face.. Never did I dream one day I would date this man let alone marry him.. lol
Nice way to get to know someone. From your description he was always interested in you. If he came to watch you play? it would seem he had an interest in you. ( In a play, or play at something?)
In the distant past I have met women that I kept seeing in a business setting that I wanted to date. Your story reminded me of a red headed woman that owned an art framing shop. She had good artistic tastes, I had a lot of pictures that needed framing. I did ask her out, she said she wasn't really available because she was taking care of her father that was very ill from cancer. Thinking back, I should have found a way to pursue her, she had a lot of good qualities. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:44:57 AM |
Nice way to get to know someone. From your description he was always interested in you. If he came to watch you play? it would seem he had an interest in you. ( In a play, or play at something?)
It was a one person musical performance.. What surprised me was it was the same one he watched each time.. Like who wants to see a broken record, since it ran for 6 months. Then after 6 months I would bring out a new one and run the circuit again with it. So he had to wait through 6 months of the same performance, before seeing new characters brought to life. Similar to Carol Brunette where I sang in various characters.
In the distant past I have met women that I kept seeing in a business setting that I wanted to date. Your story reminded me of a red headed woman that owned an art framing shop. She had good artistic tastes, I had a lot of pictures that needed framing. I did ask her out, she said she wasn't really available because she was taking care of her father that was very ill from cancer. Thinking back, I should have found a way to pursue her, she had a lot of good qualities.
I can understand her not having time to date due to her taking care of her ill dad.. I also did not date when I taking care of my mother who has since passed on.. Timing often plays a part in life.. Perhaps if you had kept in contact she might have dated you when she was no longer taking care of him.. Sweet memories are often hard to forget..
nativerock | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 12:19:00 PM |
BUT.
it was;
Do we have a hard time finding people in OUR age group,(over 45) that we are attracted to, because
we see THEM as looking their age and we see ourselves as looking younger.
I think most people just want someone they are attracted to in more ways than one--some people want to blame the opposite sex about whatever they feel is their lack when it is mostly attitude about themselves that keeps the opposite sex at bay. Some want to point out that others look bad for whatever reason like it makes them look better when actually it does the opposite imho.
I don't want someone who thinks I look younger than my age, I do want someone who thinks I look attractive at my age; heck I worked hard to get to this age and I plan on enjoying it! I also prefer a man who accepts his age!
I think every woman on a dating site and probably men get that whole bit about how much younger they look--some want to buy into it --others use common sense and realize it is something that people say--same as Hi, how are you? Do you really tell them when you are having a bad day? It is unfortunately something people have become conditioned about.
I sorta disagree with finding it hard to find someone our age cause we see them looking their age and we see ourselves as looking younger. I think it is more about mind-set--I find some men my age locked in such a time warp--favorite music is what they grew up with--favorite shows are reruns of what they grew up with--if you mention Jon Steward or Stephen Colbert they have no clue who they are--so I don't think AGE is a real qualifier--it is what mindset you are at that age. Think about the high school quarterback who still wears his jersey from high school or the same number on a t-shirt cause he never got anything happen he is as proud about after high school.
My issue is Im going to college atm, I want to live, I want to travel, I want to go back to work and make a positive impact--and so many men are so down and defected--they are just passively saying what they want to do and how now they will never be able to do what their heart longs for and how rotten and lousy life is--to me that is what makes a person OLD!
BUT not as attractive as to what I like..some what like a woman 60 or so...just the WHOLE package. not just the number because like it or not age is NOT just a number, it has some attachments to that number.
So True! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 1:47:08 PM |
I completely get what you are saying. I would like to point out that there is a big difference between being told you look younger and alway's being mistaken for being younger.
Sigh. Now, let us grasp at straws to make our points.
I am an adjunct instructor at a community college. Several years ago, an overweight woman came into the third story office out of breath and complained about the stairs. She said that at her age, stairs were getting harder and harder to climb. I said, "Nah, it isn't your age--I don't have a problem climbing them."
Her answer was that she was older than I was. I replied that I would bet money she wasn't. We argued back and forth for a few minutes; I finally told her my age and her eyes bugged out. She said, "We are the same age."
How about that? Her problem wasn't her age but the weight she was carrying. She looked older than I did, but not because I looked younger than my age at the time.
I dated a 65 year old man for a short time. He was very vain about looking younger than his years; he was in good physical shape for 65, but he did look his age. I knew that the relationship wouldn't continue because his good health didn't help him in the bedroom; the last time I saw him, he wore plaid Bermuda shorts with a matching green polo shirt that screamed "old man"; and he changed his profile so that women over the age of 55 couldn't contact him. I was 56 at the time and pointed this out to him. He said, "Yes, but you look and act much younger than your age."
Well, then I should date men who are younger than I am, eh?
I could give more examples, but it is a moot point: I KNOW that some people honestly think that I am younger than my 59 years, but again, it is because they have a concept of how 59 year old women look and I do not fit into that concept.
Blonde Angel, I changed my profile picture! I also posted a picture of myself when I was 43. I look as young now as I did then--or if not younger, I look at lot better at 59 than I did at 43. This is due to a huge weight loss and a change of wardrobe. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:56:50 PM | giggles: I think most people just want someone they are attracted to in more ways than one-
Yes.....but it almost always starts with being physically attracted to that person first.
giggles: some people want to blame the opposite sex about whatever they feel is their lack when it is mostly attitude about themselves that keeps the opposite sex at bay.
A lot of it is probably attitude, but a lot of it has to do with how the person looks physically. They can have the best attitude in the world about them self but if they aren't physically attracting the opposite sex....what good is that doing? Like the OP .....he is probably seeing women's profiles that are around his age but he is seeing some of them as basically looking old.
I think every woman on a dating site and probably men get that whole bit about how much younger they look--some want to buy into it --others use common sense and realize it is something that people say-
On a dating website?? Pffft.....women get told ALL kinds of lies.....NOT just that they look younger. lol
and so many men are so down and defected--they are just passively saying what they want to do and how now they will never be able to do what their heart longs for and how rotten and lousy life is--to me that is what makes a person OLD!
Yuk! I doing everything in my power to stay away from PEOPLE like this.
ETA: OMG Gwendolyn that picture of you made me laugh SO hard. Wow....please always keep your nice long hair!!! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:42:28 PM | LOL, Gwendolyn, you look like the church lady in that pic.
Gwen? I know your posting style well and I thought there was someone in here posting similar to you.  I didn't look at the screen-name until I saw the subsequent posts to yours. I dunno ~ I like the different pic. You look incredibly scholarly. (You just may have loaded your inbox with new-interest-guys. That whole librarian/school girl thing.)  | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:59:32 PM | Good thing I emptied my bladder b4 I read page 5 of this- I thought someone stole Gwen's hair & clothes & made her over as Mrs Doubtfire- Gwen showed alot by doing what she did...made quite the point-
I think every woman on a dating site and probably men get that whole bit about how much younger they look--some want to buy into it --others use common sense and realize it is something that people say
sure, but what about all the people from IRL that had nothing to do w/ dating who think a person is quite a bit younger???? ;0P | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 4:40:09 PM | It has been said that clothes make the man, but clothes and hair make the woman.
By the way, I received a message from a kind and thoughtful female poster who must not have read my post about changing the picture. She urged me to make the picture where I am wearing the white top as my main picture because it makes me look younger.
And I have no plans to cut my hair! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:07:28 PM | Paderic: The pickins aren't great when it comes to women in their 50's. Most of them are overweight, if not obese or morbidly obese.
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You may have to choose between overweight and underpaid, ha ha! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:27:18 PM | | Gwen...you rock! I just turned 60, I'm not over weight and I don't know what people think. I've got lots of lookers but no contacts even when I contact them first. Not all people in their 50's have weight problems Mjinict ...I think the real issue is that they are stuck in a rut and don't want to make room in their lives for a significant other, haven't gotten over their other failed relationships or whatever. Actually, a little attention from the opposite sex is a great motivator to get in shape and stay that way, lol! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:28:17 PM |
You may have to choose between overweight and underpaid, ha ha!
Guarantee the underpaid hottie will be chosen over the Maytag Washing Machine swathed in a yard of lace & polyester, LOL! | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:34:09 PM | Gwen, I thought maybe that was your mother,there was a resemblance.
I find men my age attractive however I've been getting a lot of mail from men 65 plus lately. This tells me they don't find women their age attractive. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 6:44:39 PM | | i prefer men my age or older -- we have more in common as life "reference points", but I find that I am not physically attracted to them, and they don't seem to care about updating their looks to reflect their "handsome, older selves." I just can't deal with the big, nasty bushy moustaches, the old-fashioned "grandpa" clothes, or the men who proudly brag about "not owing a pair o f dress shoes or a shirt with a collar." And mostly every time I am with a group of people in my age bracket, others that don't know me think I am a younger sister, or something. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:00:31 PM | You may have to choose between overweight and underpaid, ha ha!
The woman I am currently dating is neither. But then, she also hasn't turned 50 yet. | |
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| age, appearance and what you think
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:30:40 PM |
I just turned 60, I'm not over weight and I don't know what people think. I've got lots of lookers but no contacts even when I contact them first.
I am surprised--you are a nice looking woman. My profile is hidden because I have been seeing someone for several months. I have gone through the pool on POF, though, and unless new fish swim into the pond, I am (or wasn't) expecting to meet anyone here.
I am approached by men on a fairly regular basis in real life. I have asked men, including my boyfriend, WHY men are attracted to me (besides the hair)--there are many women prettier than I am and many who are thinner. They all say the same thing: I am approachable. I smile, I dress well, and I am very friendly. My sister says that I have never met a stranger and my son rolls his eyes when we are in public together because I talk to people.
My profile is rather sparse right now, but when I try to attract attention with it, I try to project my personality in my writing. It is rarely serious and I show, don’t tell, what I am like and what I like.
.I think the real issue is that they are stuck in a rut and don't want to make room in their lives for a significant other,
True. And right now, I think this will be a sticking point in my present relationship: he wants a long-term partner and I want a boyfriend.
Sigh.
Gwen, I thought maybe that was your mother,there was a resemblance.
You don’t know how right you are! When I saw that pic, I thought, oh no! I am my mother!
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