| | A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?Page 2 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | That is a really strange thing to call a deal breaker on.
Maybe he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you because he's a Mac man and you like PC's. That's just too weird.
My son (who has a learning disability in English) has only read one book in his life.
Yet he reads oodles of information on the internet.
He's even read the Canadian Constitution (hell, I wouldn't even read that!).
Because his information does not come from the conventional method of a hard copy book with pages, does that mean that people are not educated?
I don't think so.
It sounds like you want someone to review books with.
If that is the case ... then join a book club.
Otherwise purchase him an e-book of "50 Shades of Grey".
And why that book?
Are you looking to get him all hot and bothered so that you can step in and receive the rewards? | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:43:06 AM |
He's very smart and well educated but apparently he gets all the info he needs from the internet.
If he's smart enough and educated enough to meet your specifications, why do you need him to read novels for the sake of reading novels? I am college educated and read lots of books when in college because it was required. But I don't read novels now. It's not my thing. If you met a guy whose hobby was restoring old cars and he suggested or required that you learn to restore old cars too, would you learn to do it and make it a hobby for the sake of the relationship? Are you after a clone of yourself? Good luck finding a carbon copy of yourself to date. | |
|
| |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:50:14 AM |
It didn't mean much to me in the past but the thought of it now gave me pause...I don't think that a man who doesn't read books could be a good match for me in a long term relationship. For some reason that just bothered me.
Well, if the guy was good enough for you back then, he should still be good enough now.
Women (some) and their "dealbreakers" , good grief.
It's like they keep finding new reasons to not date a man, and then wonder why they're still alone | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 11:56:17 AM | | I thought I read somewhere that you only retain 10% of what you have read! "Don't quote me on that" as I know how eager some of you are to poke out ones eye balls......remember read between the lines.... | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:05:47 PM |
if you were an avid reader and have a love of books, could you find yourself compatible with someone who doesn't read at all?
Yes.
Depending on the person.
People learn things in different ways.
Just because they don't read doesn't mean they aren't mature and rational.
If you are telling me they are basically stuck in the same mindset as they were when they were 18 or 22 when they were last forced to read something for school, at best changing their opinion based on popular opinion or what they see on T.V. or something, then no, probably not all that compatible.
Or IOW their desire to not read, or not read books, in and of itself does not guarantee incompatibility, it could be a symptom of something deeper that would lead to incompatibility though.
I brought up the book "50 Shades of Grey" and suggested he read it. Well he said "I don't read books remember?"
I've done it myself, and have dated people that have, said "I don't read that much," just so people don't always recommend their books to me because I have absolutely no desire to read it and I know (by knowing them) that saying I don't want to read their book will be taken as me rejecting them and will lead to greater arguments and drama or BS that isn't important and can be avoided and moved on from. | |
|
| |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:30:24 PM |
I read all the time and I could give a rats ass about 50 shades of grey. Men watch porn and women read smut books.
Thank you.
I've had about 6 women asking me if I have read the book, or do I want to read the book. HOnestly I don't have the time. I am spending my free time either out there sweating like a pig on my bike, or editing and writing. So if I am going to read a book. It better be good. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:44:37 PM |
And why that book?
Are you looking to get him all hot and bothered so that you can step in and receive the rewards?
That was my thought as well. I think this may be the coach she wrote about recently.
I personally do not see the correlation in someone who's an avid reader of books and someone who either doesn't read or who happens to read on the internet.
I also do not see the reasoning behind the fact that one reads and one doesn't.
I always have a book or several books lying around that I read. My bf reads an occasional book and gleans a lot of info from the net. I'll admit it's different since he lives in such a tech world, but it's his world and he should do what he wants to do within it. He also watches a lot of movies and documentaries. I'm not into tv or sitting around for long periods of time unless there is a documentary or a movie I have interest in. So, he watches movies and docs and I join him for some of it. People are going to have differences ( thank goodness). Each person will have their own interests as well as, hopefully, some common interests. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:50:09 PM | Stepping aside the whole 50 shades of grey thing- which I have not read (I have a weird aversion to anything overly 'popular')- my answer to the question is that it depends. As you say in the op, this man reads info on the internet, he's intelligent and educated.. so to me the whole reading thing in that case is merely an issue of semantics.
But usually when you hear 'I don't read' it's often announced with a note of pride, as though such pastimes are beneath them and they have better things to do. Or if they DO read, it's nothing intellectually stimulating at all.
I like a man with a well developed vocabulary and someone who can engage me on a wide range of topics, someone who enjoys learning as much as I do. To me books are part and parcel to all of that.
Plus, I have at least 5 on the go at all times, stacks in my bedroom, living room, bathroom, boxes of them in storage (waiting for the library I will one day have) and displayed on bookshelves. Someone who 'doesn't read' is probably not going to be all that compatible with a pure nerd like me. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:50:48 PM | | He could have just said that he didn't read books a lot because he thinks that particular book is dumb and doesn't want to read it. I think that book is dumb and do not want to read it, but I read other books. I might just make an excuse like that to a friend though, that I don't feel like reading books at this point, so as not to offend them if they ask me to read a book I don't think I'd like. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:53:13 PM | Half a dozen people recommended The DaVinci code to me and I had to tell them all I hated it. LOL
Recommending books is like recommending a restaurant, your idea of great is someone else's slop. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:55:00 PM | No, not a deal breaker, although it's great being in a relationship with another avid reader. My ex never read and it didn't bother me a bit. As long as the other person doesn't stop you from reading then I don't see why it would make any difference. The man I'm seeing now is an avid book reader and it's nice to exchange books with each other and discuss them. Would I not be able to be in a relationship with him if he didn't read? Nope, it's a bonus in our relationship but he has far more to offer than that.
And I have to agree, those 50 Shades of Grey books were beyond awful. The writer has the mentality of a 5th grader. Just my 2 cents... lol | |
|
| |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:08:48 PM |
I meant "in" the dust. I & O key are too close together.
doesn't matter, the rest of your post more than compensates for that one error. funny stuff there man.
as to the topic
if the friend of yours actually said "I don't read books, remember." Then I would suggest taking him into some little curious shop full of used and rare books - one of those book stores with cats walking around acting all spoiled, with the look of old, smart, sun-weathered wood shelves, and see if said friend acts like a sissy with a stick up his bum.
If he does, dump him.
Anyone educated who doesn't "get" the charm of secreted away bookstores and the feel of an old classic in your hand is someone who is clearly unable to appreciate the bigger picture. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:15:25 PM | | Fiction books are lame. I may be hard-pressed to date someone that reads Twilight or Harry Potter books, or Cosmopolitan Magazine. But, if they are otherwise moral and not influenced by that garbage, I see no reason to hold it against them. I personally like non-fiction that most people would find extremely boring, like the works of Henry Charles Carey, a classic American System economist. In my opinion, it is best to judge someone based upon their character, rather than the books they read (or don't). | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:24:46 PM | Op, you say he is educated. So, he does read...he just isnt into reading for fun. (as well I dont see the diff between reading things online, versus on paper.)
I also enjoy a good read...however it is something I enjoy most, alone. So no, it would not bother me in the least if my fella didnt enjoy reading. Not everyone does. Some people read what they need to, in order to learn something specific, but they dont enjoy it. I cant believe someone would consider this a dealbreaker, if the man is intelligent and educated as the OP stated. Sounds more like a control issue (read what I read or else you will lose me), or you just dont want to continue dating him so you are reaching for reasons. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:24:46 PM | Heavens NO I don't want a clone of myself, how boring and a little creepy, lol
No it's not the coach, lol...I don't know if he reads or not but he looks damn fine in his tight t-shirt!
I like Kariann's post. It is fun to read together or at least discuss different books and exhange them. My ex and I used to read in bed together every night. We would exchange books (except the girly romance novels) and just talk about them....He also read a little of "Les Miserables" to me every night until we finished it. Took weeks and weeks but it was fun. We also listed to "Pillars of the Earth" on cd to and from Savannah.
I don't think I'm using anything as "an excuse" to avoid a relationshipwith him. I would still date him but this is not about him and me it's about what you all think as far as this being a deal breaker FOR YOU.
And for the love of God, this post is not about that book! LMAO....But seriously, that was just the book I suggested, I don't care if he reads it or not, it's just the fact that he doesn't read any books that got me thinking about it.
Oh and I forgot to mention, if it matters, that he is MUCH younger than me *blush* | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:26:57 PM | | We all have our deal breakers and we don't necessarily agree about them with others. I wouldn't be bothered by not sharing a hobby but if this is something that matters to you then it's a deal breaker. I would just suggest thinking long and hard if that's really the issue you want to base or not base a relationship on. | |
|
pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 45 | |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:27:31 PM | I think that in childhood, books were strongly appealing because it was a way
to journey with someone, quietly, without disturbing anyone else in the house,
which was an instant sell to Mom.
She probably would have just given me a
pint of bourbon, if books hadn't been invented. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:28:00 PM | I would say this is a common interest that you sound like you pretty much require from a partner as a shared pashion.
There are some people who only feel comfortable in certain types of relationships. That's why we also got religion-based dating sites and even pet-oriented dating sites out there. For all we know there could be some book lovers dating site out there. | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:33:22 PM |
He's very smart and well educated but apparently he gets all the info he needs from the internet
I'm not a snob
You sure sound like you are saying you are better than this man, because you choose a different mechanism for learning. Why does it matter how he knows as long as he knows? | |
|
| |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:54:56 PM | We spend so much time looking at the details of the frame that miss the whole picture.
Once again... "One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." | |
|
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:57:12 PM | | I've always been a reader.... my ex of 27yrs was an artist/musician he rarely ever read. People I love have different interest. Wouldn't even consider it being a issuse...... | |
|
Home
login 
