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| | A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?Page 4 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | I think as long as the girl reads magazines or at least information on the net, we will be fine...This is why I have three full book shelves of books, and literature, some books the bindings are not even creased...I like to display them, in case company comes over, to make me seem slightly more intellectual... | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 77 | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 7:46:24 PM | Nope not a deal breaker for me.
My guy reads a lot. Mainly magazines on his favorite subjects.
I love to read, but I prefer a book. I can not read a book on an electronic device. It just isn't the sames. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/3/2012 8:13:05 PM | I despise reading..and I am graduating from a prestigious university in august, and going on for my masters..I never read the books for any of my classes and I still get A's typically.
some people don't like reading..my English skills are superior to those who read countless books. I know countless grammar rules that the most educated people with numerous degrees fail to grasp...
such as....
Mary went to the store with jimmy and I...incorrect
it's Mary went to the store with jimmy and me.
and yes I did not use proper capitalization in this post lol.:modhammer: :modhammer: | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 80 | |
| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 3:36:41 AM | Jerilyn: I'm reading you now. The posting-history function here is
very nicely done. Now, I'm really glad that I write as I do.
And that you do.
--------
I enjoy the Kindle, and the other e-Ink readers get my vote, too.
Annotations are stored on the machine, in context. It weighs close
to nothing; runs days on end without a recharge. I call it the Palm
Pilot -- old habits die hard. I take it bicycling, too, for maps and to
watch storm cell propagation paths, when there's weather. Mine
has free 3G wireless.
Ownership of this device has allowed me to .. well, rekindle .. a love of
books, literature, and gives me access to online essays. I have borrowed
electronic versions of library books with mine, vended by the local
library through a national website (limited selection unless you happen
to be a holder of a New York Public Library card, or perhaps another
large city library card). One of the borrowed books was by the author
who discovered the solar system body that sparked the debate on the
planetary status of Pluto.
I have Brian Green, Albert Einstein, and Isaac Newton on the Kindle. I
also have Richard Brautigan, James Joyce (whom I'd never read, prior to
Kindle ownership) and soon I'll have Barbara Kingsolver and Maya Angelou
and Helen E. Fisher and Richard Dawkins and Daniel C. Dennett
(Consciousness Explained is deeply impactful, to me).
I have Cory Doctorow, Verner Vinge, Greg Egan, Philip K. Dcik (PKD). I've been
reading H.G. Wells, which is a continuation (I read The Invisible Man and
The Time Machine as a boy). The First Men in the Moon was a toot!
On topic: I don't like the deal-breaker terminology, but I can't
recall any romance with someone who didn't share in my love of 'books'
(reading a single author at length -- usually, multiple works -- and published
on dead trees, in ink). As far as discussing book content together -- not
so much. I think Kindle would be an interesting household tool, in that
regard -- could simplify book sharing, tremendously.
Yes, I love volitional readers .. people who pursue this, systematically,
and who favor book-length works.
I worry that a partner might already be steeped in a deep tradition to, for
example, stay in Sunday mornings to read The New York Times together.
I've touched on that sub-culture of readers, now and again. It is separate
and distinct from reading books and you just know they're going to want me
to share in that. I'd probably like it. I've just never had the habit. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:45:20 AM | Wow. Four pages on this already. No way I'm reading all four first, so if I'm repeating someone else's better response, just ignore me.
There is clearly some sort of strong linkage inside the OP's mind about this, which she does not directly address. I can see two main possibilities:
1. Reading is reading is reading. It seems that the OP perceives an important and meaningful difference between reading online, or in small dribbles, and reading a largish tome which one must carry around. This suggests that over time, perhaps simply because of the current move from printed to electronic text, that the OP has developed a sense of personal security associated to the physicality of a book. I can think of a few reasons for this, such as that you can't be certain an electronic text hasn't been altered shortly after you read it, 1984-Orwell-style. So electronic writing doesn't have any sense of comforting permanence to it. Further, if one grows up around parents who read a lot, having a mate doing it might reassure one with a sense of continuity in life itself, and being with someone who does not, and who repeatedly avows that they wont, would tend to feel as though the parents heritage were being attacked or rejected.
2. It might be as simple as that she feels that by rejecting her love of books, that he is rejecting her core personality, and thus only "using" her for personal entertainment.
As for myself, my hopefully soon-to-be-legally-ex-wife, was hostile to my love of books. She insisted that I divest myself of my personal library while we were together. That wasn't a key to why we failed as a couple, but it didn't help. By now, since I AM comfortable with a lot of electronic versions of things, and like to save space by keeping virtual replicas of things, I have a much smaller library footprint anyway. But I would be put off if I had a significant other who openly derided or disliked pretty much anything that I enjoyed, it would tend to gnaw away at my sense that they actually liked me. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 4:46:19 AM | As a bibliophile making a superficial knee-jerk judgment, I might not be interested in a man who doesn't read books because it could suggest someone who is ignorant and intellectually lazy, but I can think of a whole bunch of extenuating circumstances. The first three that come to mind in your situation are [1] he's very smart; [2] he's well educated; and [3] he does read, just not books.
For some reason that just bothered me.
So what you are saying is that it bugs you to know that he doesn't sit around reading books, but you can't explain why. So instead of thinking that through to see if it actually makes any sense, you'll just run with the shitty feeling you had about the idea that he doesn't read books and say, "this one's no good!" Into the friend zone he goes.... The fact that he's very smart and well educated suddenly became irrelevant. You would rather date an imbecile, if only you could know that HE READS BOOKS. What kinds of books? Pfft, doesn't even matter.... porn, pulp fiction, comic books, do-it-yourself trepanation manuals, or “50 Tedious Fucking Shades of Grey”. Am I interpreting that correctly or would you like to explain now why it bothered you so much?
So my question is; if you were an avid reader and have a love of books, could you find yourself compatible with someone who doesn't read at all?
Dunno, how smart is he? Is he educated?? Does he read the internets? Can he read a Chinglish instruction manual and put together this piece of farm equipment I just bought in less than half an hour with nothing but a screwdriver?? LOL, let me make that man a sammich! | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 5:20:27 AM | | I have read 1,000's of books, while I find it strange when someone doesn't read much, not really a deal breaker; most especially if she looks really good in a tight black dress on the dance floor. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:20:20 AM | I like to read from time to time, actual fictional just for fun books. I read a large variety of books from westerns, sci-fi even some murder/mystery...but I mainly read for educational purposes. Not to get off topic but a western author I love is William Johnstone. He wrote westerns based on true events and characters but had a fictional character telling the story from a different POV..plus he could put some extra stuff in there...very good author whose Niece is still finding old works that he never did finish before his death, which has been at least 5 years ago, that she is editing and publishing in his name.
My mother is a avid reader she's gone to the nook so that she can zoom in on the words because her eyesight is fading thanks to that pesky thing called age. And its a lot cheaper to download (from a book club) than a actual book so she can read even more as well. She still buys and collects hardbacks of her favorite authors but still reads them on the nook.
I wouldn't find it a deal breaker if someone didn't like to read a book instead of watching a movie, listening to music, doing crafts, jumping out of airplanes, etc whatever their desire for release is. Often times we have the same "likes" sometimes we don't...it's that simple. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:51:47 AM |
A guy who doesn't read books. Deal break
Gimme a freaking break................
What next, shallow bunch of wusses?
A guy wearing blue. dealbreaker?
A guy who sleeps past 7:30 on weekdays?
A woman who wears Christian Dior perfume instead of Channel?
A woman who loves tomatoes but hates peas, INSTANT DEAL BREAKER!!!
How many more of these idiotic threads are we going to have? How LOW can humanity go, do we really have so LITTLE much to say about anything anymore?
Ack, just say whatever you want then.................... | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:25:53 AM | If you find this guy to be
- Sexually compatible
- Around your age bracket
- He has and makes a stable living
- Is healthy
- Shares the same or similar values on religion, finances, sex, views on kid and marriage
- Lives within a 50 mile radius of you
- You find him attractive
- You enjoy his company and like talking to him
- He makes you laugh
- He is a morally sound person
- You admire him as a person in general
If it's possible that the guy has these qualities, OP, and you want to dump him over his reading habits, then that's your choice. Everyone has the right to choose, but finding a good match out there can be super hard, I'm not sure how quickly most people would jettison a person they could connect with on so many levels.
But then again maybe he doesn't connect with you on many of these levels.
You might need to ask yourself if you really want out based on his reading preference, of it's a pretext to another reason that might not be as politically correct to discuss. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:37:15 AM | | if he educated intellegent, why would he read 50 shades of shite? its not chick lit its clit lit lol,. women are turned on verbally/brain wise. i read a lot, if want get him into that sort thing try mills+ boon blaze, or black lace books, works for most women. no would not be a deal breaker for me, i hate kindles, no one ever will get mugged for a book lol | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:55:53 AM | | If the guy was to spend a lot of his time reading women's profiles on dating sites, would that satisfy the OP's reading requirements a man must have? Not only does the OP want an avid reader, but she is also suggesting what he should be reading. If the guy was an avid reader, would he have to get the OP's approval concerning what to read? Has the OP set a rule of how many words at minimum a guy must read per day or week? If her rule is the guy must read a minimum of 10,000 words per week and the guy reads 9,999 words of text in a certain week, is that deal breaker? | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:18:41 AM |
If her rule is the guy must read a minimum of 10,000 words per week and the guy reads 9,999 words of text in a certain week, is that deal breaker?
Definately dude, definately. In fact, I would just flat out REFUSE any girl that reads any less than 14 pages of the Bible in reverse, in the original latin version, plus another 1500 words on top. And the funny papers and sports section, in fact the entire newspaper does not count. I usually force all my dates to wear an electronic word counter with a built in camera, so I know they aren't lying...............
If I go rent Mein Kampf at the library and make notes underlined in yellow...do those count double? Is Mein Kampf part of the list? Am I read flag because I'm secretly an Evil Nazi in disguise, or just a guy that wants to read and understand how one man can come very close to dominating the world by reading what he wrote?
Holy bucket of bolts, Batman! We should jump in the Batmobile and head straight to the Batcave!!!
And bolt all the doors and never open them again.................. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:27:25 AM |
So my question is; if you were an avid reader and have a love of books, could you find yourself compatible with someone who doesn't read at all?
Yes, so can most of the world.
People on this site see the most trivial things as deal breakers. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:47:09 AM |
Capn America: In fact, I would just flat out REFUSE any girl that reads any less than 14 pages of the Bible in reverse, in the original latin version, plus another 1500 words on top...I usually force all my dates to wear an electronic word counter with a built in camera, so I know they aren't lying.
Don't forget to give the dates weekly quiz's to see if they remember and understand what they read. Failing the weekly test makes them kick-to-the-curbable. | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 8:56:10 AM | you pass judgement on the book 50 shades of grey??
Ok I am not here to bash you or the book, but I guess here I go anyway.
I didnt read the book, but didnt it just come out in 2011? was it on the best sellers list? was it on any list?
I believe it is about some dark sexual relationship..wait here is Wikipedia;
Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first installment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of BDSM.
HHHMMM why havent I read this...oh it sounds crappy...I do read, I love to read..I read fiction mostly, where has man come from, how did we spread across this planet, history and so on. If I met a lady who didnt like to read it is her choice, but a deal breaker?
no... | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 9:04:00 AM | OOOPPPS follow up, I miss wrote my opening sentence...bad me for not rereading before I posted.
I meant to say you passed judgement on some guy based on him not reading the book 50 shades of grey??
ok that sounds much better?
hey remember the Seinfeld episode where George left a bunch of bad messages on the answering machine?
thats what this forum thing is...on here FOREVER! | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 9:05:42 AM | It may seem trivial but it's probable that there is alot more going on which prompted the OP to ask the question in the first place, more than what we see on the surface.... So why should anyone judge? Just answer the question and leave her to get out of it what she will...
"People on this site see the most trivial things as deal breakers"
Things aren't always what they seem. You can't know the whole story about anyone's life based on a forum posting.. if you dig deeper you'll find most people don't discard others over trivial matters... | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 11:19:03 AM | "People on this site see the most trivial things as deal breakers"
Things aren't always what they seem.
That`s right; things are usually MUCH simpler.
I do agree that people in general, not just on this website, see the most trivial and idiotic of things as problems, or dealbreakers, with anything. That`s why you get all those whinning old ladies yelling at cashiers in stores around the world, or lovers breaking up over who spilled the milk cup over the bed by accident.
When I see such useless and utterly shallow threads and banthering drivel (lets call it what it is) like this, it makes me want to puke. How low can we really go, as a race, really? You`d not date someone because he`s not reading as much as you do, like REALLY? What about if he can memorise more words than you do? Shop longer? Knows more prayers than you by heart?
Of course you cant find out the truth of someone based on a forum posting; nevertheless, people do it daily, just seeing some guy on the street almost get hit by a car, for example, because he`s looking at his cellphone. Then we`ll all say "Man, what an idiot, he should look where he is going". So what, automatically he's an idiot? What if that guy was a rich PDG of a company, and that text he took 5 minutes to send saved 1000 jobs in the country?
So ya, people should definately work on themselves and their own opinions. A lot of people on this Earth are extremely unhealthy, and don`t know it, or dont want to know it; this website seems to attract a helluva lot of broken people who have definately lost some, if not most, of the common anchors tying them to reality.... | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 12:43:15 PM | My dear Capn, excuse my French but who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? LOL
Anyway, I'm not crazy about the Kindle or the Nook. I see it's appeal but I'm not crazy about anything that has to be charged to use for reading. I also enjoy reading in the bathtub and on the beach. God forbid I drop a $200(?) object in the bath or the sand!
EDIT: Funny how ppl see this thread as banal and useless yet keep posting on it while most of those ppl haven't read all the way through it...That is an interesting dynamic in and of itself
And thank you Jerilyn, I appreciate your post!
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:06:58 PM | | yes. this is a deal breaker for me. i have an english degree. i am well read. learning is my passion, and it is important to me to be around others that are passionate about learning as well. i don't care what their interests are, to be honest with you, i just want them to be interested in something other then basketball and video games. i don't need to be with someone that is into literature (i actually prefer non fiction myself), but for christ's sake, be interested in something! ...a man who chooses not to read is truly not for me...it would be like dating a liberal or something...ugh | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:16:11 PM | My dear Capn, excuse my French but who pissed in your cornflakes this morning? LOL
Haha, it`s a bubble, they pop up sometimes, but they`re not directed at anyone, as much as just "in general" lol.
It`s just that affirmation like these, and even some of the others I wrote (a guy wearing blue for example) IS stuff that people have told me are deal breakers. You know, your sitting down at a coffee table reading a book, and you hear like, the two ladies at the table next to you talking, and your not really listenning as much as just, their inane banther cuts RIGHT through your book lol.
And you hear stuff like, how they would NEVER date a plumber. Because they are so fat and ungainly and can`t use their brains for their life`s worth.
ATTABOY! Nice to put all plumbers in the same basket..............
You know, stuff like that just...gyrates me lol. Too many judgements, usually headless and with nonsense, its ridiculous. Some people don`t like to read, you can NOT ENJOY someone who doesn`t enjoy a good book. But a deal breaker, like looking at someone and going "listen, girl, your very nice, very sexy, very intelligent....but you never read the Art of War by Sun Tzu, so in my book your an idiot, so bebye" is REALLY uncool. And it happens! That`s the ridiculous part, is it happens. People are THAT shallow and it disapoints me all the time. We`re not even talking big issues here, but teenie weenie lil idiotic stupid crap most people dont care about lol. Which side they sleep, how they fold clothes, how they mumble while reading, you know, useless stuff. And people break up couples over that...................... I dunno if I should laugh, or cry, or both! lol.
Anyways, that`s just my beef. The more I look at people in general that I get to know on the street, the more I dislike many. I thought as the years advance and technology got better, people got more educated, it would change. That was 15 years ago, and I see it didn`t change people from being morons. They`re just EDUCATED and informed morons 
But you know, I`m rambling and my breastmilk just popped all over the place, so carry on people  lol
Ps Corn Flakes suck, Frosted Flakes rock! GO TIGER! ;-) | |
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| A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker?
Posted: 7/4/2012 1:22:18 PM | | Oh yeah anther deal breaker is if they are left handed or ever wore a yellow shirt. That's just way too much to handle. Oh man, that's too much to deal with. Why me. | |
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