| | Judging a book by its cover and not its content.Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) |
Its hard to find womens clothing that fits me properly.
If you haven't given them a try yet, peek at Pinup Girl Clothing. Quite a lot of their outfits and dresses would probably suit your body shape. The clothes are designed with curves in mind and many of their models are quite busty and hippy.
People though, are not books. People can change their covers and sometimes these covers don't match the contents within.
Very good point! | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/4/2012 5:04:15 PM | Speaking of first impressions OP
Mine of you would be, your unimaginative, you posted in a thread started by another user in AAG with the exact same title looking for the exact same answers?
Not very original!
Smexi | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/4/2012 5:47:28 PM |
I have self respect, I love my body and proud of it. Sadly most women can't say the same thing.
I so agree with you.
Do you feel that your first assumptions of a person based on what that look like has always been justified ?
Not at all. I do try to give people a chance, unless someone is wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw.
I don’t date off here, so when I get messages from men I’m not automatically thinking, ‘Would I take this guy to bed?’ In real life I don't have time to waste judging others. When I meet someone I try to pay attention to who they are; not what they look like.
CharminC, your post was hilarious. :) | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/4/2012 6:04:37 PM | See, I'm eating a big plate of crow right now and am pretty ashamed of myself. I admit that I also looked at the thumbnail photo and for a second thought, geez, bimbo......and I am so sorry for that. Then I read the thread and looked at your profile and photos and I am so impressed! You're obviously very skilled with make-up and costuming for your act. Now I think you're awesome and I hope I'm forgiven :(
I think as humans, a good many of us DO make snap judgements based on first impressions of what we see. It is why they always tell us "dress for success" when we go to job interviews. It's unfair, but it's reality. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/4/2012 7:01:11 PM | Your photos are all screaming "look at my false boobs".
What kind of men do you think will message you based on their first impression of you based on your photos?
if u get tired of the wrong type of men, you can always re-tweak ur ad & pix! U seem like a breath of fresh air!
You are a breath of fresh air, OP, which is great and I certainly hope you havn't been receiving lewd messages based on your photos alone as you seem to be intelligent, well spoken and you know what you want. :)
I'm eating humble pie here as I sincerely apologise for how my post came across and consequently perceived. I could have worded it much better. Geeeez.
Fake boobs? For that I feel even worse as I read through the posts today and learned otherwise. I'm cringing here as I look down at my own and can hardly see any! Jealous? Yep. 
Humans are visual creatures and we base judgements or assumtions on all sorts of things; ranging from people's looks, people's behaviour to what a meal looks like...."ewww, that looks awful. I'm not eating that!!" Lol. xx | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 2:42:33 AM | | I'm not mad at the initial thoughts because, I do understand where its coming from. As women at a young age we are actually taught, mostly subconsciously to hate or even fear each other. It took me years to figure out what works for me and building my love for myself to be ok with what I can't change. I know I can't change people and I'm not trying to.. I look at the forums as a tool to learn more about how people perceive things and I get to read everyone's opinions even if I don't agree with it. I'm not going to sound like a hippie and say "oh we should all love each other because we are all brothers and sisters" lol But I will say we should show an unspoken respect to each other as human beings, I was taught treat others as how you want to be treated. I try my best to live by that. Thanks for everyone's input negative and positive. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 3:47:52 PM | If I spray paint crazy stuff on my house....
to make a statement....
then I can't complain if the neighbors think me odd.
In a similar vein:
If you dress wild to get attention,
you cannot complain if the attention you get...
is not always positive. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:05:32 PM | I am a terrible judge of character .... I am not sure I have ever been correct. I think we all judge or prejudge or assume a little. It is what we do with those first moments of feelings and how we treat those people we are judging or whatever that makes us who we are.
I may judge you by your pics as some one who is loud and flashy....but not as a bad person or a dirty person.
And I can be completely wrong...but really it doesnt matter, cause you are the person you want to be..and how i feel about you is meaningless. Ultimately, I also dont mean I would not be friends with you. who u are is not as important as HOW u are.
I get along with every one. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:32:06 PM | I try to give most people a chance, and Im quite forgiving.
Thats natural for me being I have the patience of a saint.
My life has been filled with great tribulations, so Im empathetic towards others.
How ever the only stupidity I tolerate is my own; dont make the same mistakes.
I try very hard not to judge anyone, nor have expecations of other people.
Common sense and intuition are my guides.
Im usually correct 90% of the time.
I treat people the way I want to be treated,
and alwasy give peace a chance first.
Just dont piss me off or abuse my good nature.
Then the NYC girl comes out to play.
That side of me isnt very nice.
My broom has a kick start once ya get me goin'. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:33:16 PM |
If I spray paint crazy stuff on my house....
to make a statement....
then I can't complain if the neighbors think me odd.
In a similar vein:
If you dress wild to get attention,
you cannot complain if the attention you get...
is not always positive.
There's a difference between dressild wild with the intention of drawing attention and dressing "wild" because that's how you want to dress. Anyone that thinks for themselves won't be following any sort of trend, so their personal style may get unwanted attention because it's not within the social norms. So I agree with what you say because if you step outside the crowd, they will look at you funny, but the purpose is not always because you crave attention, sometimes you just feel like doing your own thing. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 7:44:27 PM | ^ Your post reminds me of a young woman I took a pic of in Times Square on the fourth. She was simply dressed in a mid length cotton black sun dress with flip flops holding a very powerful little sign.
Among her was all that traffic, artists selling their works, The Naked Cowboy in his under wear, people in costumes getting donations for pics, vendors selling their wares, crowds of tourist, and me with a camera.
Her sign said "I cant compete with this". She was making quite a statement all by her plain little self.
Sometimes we all just make a statement even if its for us. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:13:34 PM |
^ Your post reminds me of a young woman I took a pic of in Times Square on the fourth. She was simply dressed in a mid length cotton black sun dress with flip flops holding a very powerful little sign.
Among her was all that traffic, artists selling their works, The Naked Cowboy in his under wear, people in costumes getting donations for pics, vendors selling their wares, crowds of tourist, and me with a camera.
Her sign said "I cant compete with this". She was making quite a statement all by her plain little self.
Sometimes we all just make a statement even if its for us.
Totally. If you do something ordinary next to people that are doing something unusual and entertaining, then of course people will give you less attention. A sign like that wouldn't work if the situation was reversed because of context and social norms. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 8:58:08 PM | I see no distinction...in the results...
of dressing wild to draw attention.
Or doing so.... just because.
People will always make assumptions when
they a see a picture of a girl leathered up with her breasts practically popping out.
If she doesn't like the assumptions of complete strangers then she can dress different,
or just know those assumptions are gonna be made and get used to it.
Online....everything is image.
I don't know her.
she could be a philosopher with an MBA in Physics.
But her image online seems different than that.
Everyone is free to dress how they want.
and put up any picture they want.
But as to dating....it can really bite you in the azz.
Just how it is. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:12:32 PM |
I see no distinction...in the results...
of dressing wild to draw attention.
Or doing so.... just because.
That's exactly right. The results are the same because the stimulus is the same. But the motivation behind the individual's choices are completly different. I agree when it comes to internet dating, you have to be aware of how you are presenting yourself in an electronic profile. That's why I've mostly been messaging people without pictures lately. I like focusing on what people have to say, and it's actually a breath of fresh air to have a conversation with someone without your brain jumping the gun and thinking "oh, I'm really into them, they're hot" or "I don't like their picture, I'll never date them!" I'm not saying I'm seeking to date someone that is hiddeous in my eyes, but I'm getting away from the approach where you click on the barbie dolls and message them first. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/5/2012 9:39:02 PM | Why people gotta hate because she is hot & has a fabulous rack?
OP, you look damn good.
Anyways.......yes I have. I have judged people as not what i was looking for, & they were everything i was looking for. And vice-versa. And have learned that the novel goes way deeper than the cover. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 1:09:31 AM | I guess my first question here is, OP...what the heck is a "sideshow"? I have no idea what that is and I'm old enough I guess, to have images of a circus act. :/ What is it and where does it take place?
I've been watching this little thread since you started it...just popped in and admit to thinking, "here we go, someone doing some sideline self-promotion. Next we're going to have a link to her porn site." That's what the "cover" said to me. I've been interested enough to pop back in to watch it unfold....and turn a page or two. :)
You appear to be having fun with your life and your appearance -nothing wrong with that. Your appearance(cover), just like anyone else's, creates an "energy" if you will.....and your input here has, somewhat, decreased the sleeze factor to me, only because I've been able to "hear" a small part of your story.
If your goal is to find someone on a dating site who will be willing and able to get beyond the cover....well, I'm sure you're smart enough to know that you will have to wade through a larger amount of the dredges to get there than someone who doesn't have the "entertainer" look. BUT, you may also bring out those who "get it---in your world" more quickly. good luck. :) | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 10:25:47 AM | I feel I'm very nonjudgmental. Taking the book as the example, I wouldn't care how the cover looks like, I wouldn't even think about it. After reading the book, I might express if I like the book or not, but even then, I would still be open to read the book again, and could have a complete different view of its content.
There is a question in which many people like to ask as; what do you look for in a so? Most people seem to know in such of detail of how their perfect match would be, on how they look like, or how they behave, I cannot for the life of me ever think of anything in particular that would be a must, or anything that would not be tolerated. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 10:39:26 AM | somewhat, decreased the sleeze factor to me,
^^
Sleeze? sleeze?!!!
Holy fack... I can pull out tons of pictures in pof that defines sleeze! Male and female
Op displays a coifed hair with a pretty flower, clean well fitted dress and delightfully applied makeup. Where's the fackin sleeze factor?
Cleavage?
Oh pulleeze. We all need to embrace our cleavage in the same tasteful way. *grins* ((hikes bewbs up))
Ya know, it's one thing to err as human and judge which I'm sure we've all done one time or another (even I *said sheepishly) but quite another to judge and be nasty about it.
Perhaps if we bite our tongue, wait and watch... what we learn could be a delightful surprise.
Kinda like biting into christmas chocolates. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 11:59:10 AM | ^^^ HEY !! :) It wasn't "judgement", condemnation, OR nastiness!! It WAS, however, my honest response....I was not saying it in a mean way at all. Impressions are impressions. I gave mine. She's having FUN with her looks, her dress and she is certainly entitled....but, I openly OWN what my impressions are. (caps are for emphasis only, not yelling). I thought for SURE she would advertise a porn site. (!) on FIRST glance of her pic/and profile pics.
Now, if one chooses to dress like a "side show"---I've got nooooooo problem with that. AND MY VIEW is that if ya have nice boobies, small boobies, any boobies or no boobies, there are ways to "bring them to the party" in a celebratory ( I love my boobies!) fashion withOUT having the "entertainer" look. It's about different tastes. Not an ounce of nastiness stated or intended. Just my observations/impressions. This isn't about her character at all....its about my impression of the book cover. OP IS delivering more about who she is in the thread, delightfully, still................she, I'm certain, deals with male reactions to her appearance that don't read the book but react to the cover !! Saying we all SHOULD behave differently, well.....ok....say that.
Now, OP....what IS a side show??? I'm truly curious what that means. Is it comedy? dance? burlesque? Renasaince Fair-type ? Hoping you understand my delivery is truly @ the discussion level...no , not nastiness...being honest. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 12:07:35 PM | Of course we judge people by how they dress, act and present themselves. It's human nature to form opinions / judgements in such a fashion.
I also think that it's human nature to not associate with someone if they don't meet a certain set of criteria that you have in your life. For example, now that I'm older and more mature, I'm less likely to start a conversation with a man that is dressed in motorcycle gang regalia... when I was younger, I thought nothing of this and would converse with almost anyone.
I also don't feel that it is my loss for not speaking with or getting to know such people - it's a choice, that is all. | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/6/2012 12:54:21 PM |
If this thread does nothing else but get more women to embrace their cleavage I'll be one happy camper...
LOLOL ! I can get "behind" that ! In fact, we should all probably embrace our behinds tooooo. You fellas could join in this one....us our boobies, you guys--your butts....what a vision a march would be, eh.
(just a sideline: in Kent, Ohio annually...for breast cancer awareness, the town is decked in colorful bras donated and hung all along the Main Street bridge. It's an awesome sight.) | |
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| Judging a book by its cover and not its content.
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:13:01 AM |
Do you feel that you're first assumptions of a person based on what that look like has always been justified ? I know being on a dating site all we have is the first impression (profile picture) which can make or break your chances in finding what you are looking for, someone messaging you or you messaging someone else. Have you ever went against your initial judgement of a person and actually got to know them?
I learned about this a long time ago. I worked with a nice man who I didn't find particularly attractive; a friend of mine met him and she was interested, so I set them up. In the months that followed I became very good friends with both of them and I watched him become more and more and MORE attractive. His appearance didn't change a bit - I just got to know him and learn how amazing he was. It was quite awhile before I stopped secretly kicking myself for setting them up!
Gosh, that was so long ago... I hope they're still together and happy!
All of this said, we do all judge by the cover to a certain extent. After all, there isn't enough time in our lives to get to know everyone who crosses our pathes. But I think it's best to be as open as possible to everyone - not just with romantic intentions but as we live out or lives. Some of the most amazing people in my life are people with whom I didn't think I'd click! And to this day my best friend from college often reminds me, "You know, when we first met I didn't think we were going to get along at all!!"
It wasn't "judgement", condemnation, OR nastiness!! It WAS, however, my honest response... Since we're being "honest," why not acknowledge that you were being judgemental? Judgment and honesty are not mutually exclusive. Hiding behind the excuse of an "honest response" doesn't change the action behind it. | |
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