Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Feel like I am trying to make the relationship work, but she is not w      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 AspenJack
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Feel like I am trying to make the relationship work, but she is not willing to meet me half way.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I am definetly without fault.

I doubt that.

The end results of these fights leads me feeling that I have to do all the work,

If you are definitely without fault, you are perfect for the job.

When She talks to me with what I feel is disrespect, I feel that the gloves are off and then get mouthy with her.

That you focus on fault and justification dooms you to misery, whether in this relationship or another.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 25
Feel like I am trying to make the relationship work, but she is not willing to meet me half way.
Posted: 7/6/2012 8:06:21 AM

When She talks to me with what I feel is disrespect, I feel that the gloves are off and then get mouthy with her.


Just for the record, that's called having faults.

She speaks her mind, no matter how it makes people feel. I choose my words carefully before I speak

Not quite what you saidafter, eh?
I don't think your being honest, either with us, or most probably with yourself. I would suggest stepping back and getting a GOOD long look in the mirror. It's probably more of your fault than you realise, even though their might be as much if not more fault in her.
Bottom line, it isnt about laying blame, its about making a relationship work. Think of it, and run it, as you would a business. State your demands, listen to the counter proposals, make a decision half-way.
And if you cant negociate...break off the deal.
Its that simple. Or that complicated
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Feel like I am trying to make the relationship work, but she is not willing to meet me half way.
Posted: 7/6/2012 8:10:04 AM

How else can I try and reach her without things getting out of hand?


Notice that in your exposition here you placed 100 percent of the fault on her, that you were not at fault and that you always tried to be the voice of reason. Yet you failed 100 percent here. You have only shown a very closed mind person, that is by having an alternative opinion "disrespected you."

So dude. Stop blaming her, and that is ALL you have done.
Realize also that you cannot change her. All the bull of coming to the middle, is not the middle, that is a middle that YOU have dictated. Start to actually listen to what she may be saying, repeated to her by saying "This is what I understand you are saying." That way, when you are fighting, or discussing, you actually listen, instead of spending your time formulating your great response and missing all that they other person needed from you to understand.

And one more thing. Realize that the only person you can change is yourself. Start by 5 things I can do different.
Page 2 of 2   (1, 2)
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Feel like I am trying to make the relationship work, but she is not willing to meet me half way.