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| | Grocery Store Dating.Page 7 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | "I don't accept flirts in person, please send a message to my account on POF and include information about your favourite movies and songs. I will respond within 24 hours with additional instructions."
I had something VERY similar that happened at a Halloween party at a friend's house. I was talking to one of the attendees and we had built up a pretty good rapport. Towards the end of the evening, I had asked to exchange phone #'s, no joke, she said, "Well, I'd prefer to give you my email address, safer that way."
Yes, and this was back in the early 2000's, so it seems that people, regardless of face to face interaction, refer you to some kind of online contact.
Recently, I had asked a woman for her #, and she said, "Do you have Facebook?" and I said that I did...and she said to look her up there. She gave me her full name.
Notice how backwards society is becoming with this whole social networking situation? | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:31:57 AM | Michaelanns_Married, what a horrible destruction of a great fantasy. It's so special when a girl erases any doubt by asking the guy out, and to have been shot down so utterly. Just no fare.
Irish71, It's fine to be calling them like you see them, but the superlatives are unnecessary, rude; and hey, why not share instead of judge, elaborate without insult, as hey your opinion counts. And you could even be right; but we'll never know because I walked away, as I have just had to deal with too many women in my life that want to cheat on their husband with me, and I am just not interested. Such is an instant deal breaker with me, we won't even be friends, it is just done.
DrLonelyheartsClub_Band, Harmless flirtation? Dr, would you mind expounding on that a little more. To me a flirt is an interest, and the ideology of Harmless Flirtation, is saying to me that the flirt meant nothing. But I do like the ideal of a girl that comes with an instruction manual, especially one without the clause, all rules may change without warning or notice.
purfectmeow, I shake my head with a smile.
Coma White, I like that, sounds like a perfect Candid Camera Skit: Hot Sexy Girl in at some quiet Cafe' flirts with some guy across the room. When he finally approaches her, she holds up her hand stopping him, pulls out a piece of paper, and begins like you said. I would love to see the reactions. (come up with a lot more like that and I might even be interested in producing the show)
pfif Cities are like that, such a shame. Vegas being a nice exception of course. People like to be noticed on their Vacation.
Texan_Gal, that's just called Southern Hospitality!
Sciencetreker, Lived in Sicilia for a spell, I do miss the Hugs. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 10:42:09 AM | Yeah us southerners (even though Im transplanted), like to hug too.
If Ive had a special convo/connection with someone, it ends in a hug and a blessing.
Sometimes the older folk will pray over me. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 12:56:15 PM | "No. You join a club for the combination of social interaction with the enjoyment of your hobby. If you just wanted to hike or bike without the social aspect, you'd do it by yourself without joining a club."
I don't know -- I've part of a number of hobby clubs and social organizations in which women did not seem like they wanted to be bothered while they were doing what they were doing. Of course, it's quite possible they just didn't want to be bothered by ME or whatever guy she was trying to avoid conversation with at the time. Bikers in particular seem pretty serious about what they're doing -- they join these things more for the competition, which you obviously can't get by yourself.
I'm certainly not disagreeing that a biking club wouldn't be a more appropriate venue to approach a total stranger than a grocery store, but I bet you money most of the women who don't want to be approached by a stranger at a grocery store wouldn't want to be approached at a club meeting or social event either.
"You better never pass by me close enough to smell me…but if you do let me know so I can upgrade my deodorant. :) Seriously, I think I’m gonna be paranoid now when I go to the store. I’m wearing baggy clothes from now on."
Baggy clothes will help, but the only time I usually smell a woman from passing by at grocery store distance is if she's the kind of woman who WANTS to be smelled, so I wouldn't worry about that too much. No doubt if I'm smelling a woman who isn't trying to be smelled... that's not a good thing.
As for all these signals and stuff, the handful of times in my life a complete stranger woman hit on me, there was no doubt about it (in fact, once a date of mine was kind enough to help me properly interpret a stranger girl's actions toward me after we encountered her at an amusement park). However, I'm not counting any women who simply seemed excessively friendly... because when finally deciding to act on such behavior, I have never been right -- they were always just excessively friendly women who had no romantic interest in me. Which is the main reason why I don't even bother asking out acquaintances anymore. You just got tired of never being right after a while. I've pretty much stopped being friendly myself because I don't want to be misled by my interpretations of excessively friendly women's behavior anymore, and it's much worse when you have to see them again after making that mistake. So... you win. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 1:21:07 PM | Many years ago a tall, handsome, young man approached me in a retail store and asked: “I need to buy some clothes for my sister back home, can you please help me?" I said: "Okay, what's your sister's size?" He looked at me up and down a bit and said: "She's 5'4", slim, about your size" and added some flattering descriptions about his sister, saying she was almost like me. I was single at that time, had no kids, was not busy, so I said: "Let’s look around." And we went together to shop for some clothes for his sister.
While shopping, we chatted and learned about each other's personal life. He was fun to talk to, but quite flirty and a sweet talker to most of the girls. I decided to treat him just like a friend, nothing more.
We drifted apart. I never heard from him for a long time. I don’t even care to find out where he is now. Just a memory brought back by this thread. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:34:22 PM | Bikers in particular seem pretty serious about what they're doing -- they join these things more for the competition, which you obviously can't get by yourself.
Well, typically some biker clubs, after they're done, gather together at a restaurant to grab a bit, that's when most of the socializing occurs.
I'm certainly not disagreeing that a biking club wouldn't be a more appropriate venue to approach a total stranger than a grocery store, but I bet you money most of the women who don't want to be approached by a stranger at a grocery store wouldn't want to be approached at a club meeting or social event either.
I highly disagree, because at least with a special interest group, even relationships or marriages have formed from said groups, just makes sense because of common interests. Also, you are all there for the same reason, so there's nothing really off putting about talking bikes or outdoor equipment. "What's your favorite store, REI or Gander Mtn?"
Easy icebreakers can be made in such groups and even the feeling of fellowship and bonding. Don't tell me on camping trips with an outdoors group that people would not be open to being approached? I think not.
"Sorry, I'm hear to sit and stare at the campfire, please don't talk to me!" lol | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 157 | |
| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/13/2012 1:35:36 AM | Yeah, definitely the meal after the high-intensity sports is the time,
not during.
One guy brought his sister to our kayak outing in whitewater. Didn't
make any headway with her until the meal in the restaurant. We all
had a great time. It would have been poor form to try something with
her, individually; she was in a target-rich environment, and was drinking
it all in. It wasn't awkward at all. The endorphins from the paddling
(kayaking) helped a lot.
As far as I know, nobody there dated her. Doesn't mean it wasn't fun;
it was great just to get to know her. A real amazon -- and smarter than
just about anyone I've ever met, from what I could tell about her.
. . .
BTW, sailing is a great way to get to know people, and it doesn't have
to be incredibly expensive. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/13/2012 2:21:30 PM | gbntbedtyr -In the interest of sharing I'll tell you that more often than not(in my experience)the subject of husband,boyfriend,girlfriend,etc. is always a deflection that is designed to eliminate the other person from pursuing
romantic interests.......My post was formulated solely on that observation.
As for your not wanting to get involved with a married woman,I applaud you for that.
I feel the same way.(more people should think that way).
Lastly,I don't "judge"anyone -I don't own that right. But as a fellow male of the species I just think you may have
missed the not so subtle rejection that was thrown right down the middle of the plate.
At any rate,you dodged a bullet (maybe even in a literal sense !) | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:30:53 PM | While I haven't had any real connections other than frequently doing the "eyeball lock" at the grocery store, I did put a young couple together one Thanksgiving day. I forgot cranberry sauce, so I was at the store for that one item. He was in my line, she was in the next. Acquaintances that were chatting back and forth, lamenting that each was preparing a meal and eating alone that day. Finally, I just had one of those "GAH" moments and interjected that they might enjoy cooking and sharing their turkey day meal TOGETHER. What a concept. They looked at each other...." Yeah. That's a good idea." Young people....sheesh. :-)
I will say that I did get picked up at a Home Depot once. Shrewd, shrewd 75-80 year old lady was shopping for fluorescent light ballasts, as was I. She started asking me questions, telling me she was selling her house to move to a wonderful retirement center, but she needed to fix her kitchen lights. I pictured her coming down off a ladder the hard way - soooooo, I volunteered. Went to her house, got her all fixed up. Heard her life story...
Oh....she did put out. Yup. That's right. In the form of all the hot Folger's Decaf and Chips Ahoy that I could hold. Now THAT is a date! ;-) | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 160 | |
| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/13/2012 9:28:51 PM | Nice post. I still have a (good) dictionary from the old lady I was friends with
in my last apartment building. That was a great building, and I became one of
the go-to people for the old ladies that lived there, to change lightbulbs; being
that I was > 6' tall, you get tapped for light bulb duty a lot.
... and I'm back quiet. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:44:13 AM |
So... you win.
I was under the impression we were having a discussion; not a competition. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:12:22 AM |
If we're chatting and getting along, I would be much more receptive to a friendly invitation (as in: not sounding like a date) to do something relating to some common interest which was discovered during our chat. For instance (using the "biking" example), if we're chatting and find out we both enjoy biking, an invitation to go biking together.
It is going to be a 'date', whether it be formal or casual, as its intent being exactly the same (spending time, getting to know each other). I agree, it's best to obviously go a very casual route if both were complete strangers 5-10 minutes ago. IMO, a one-on-one biking excursion is a bigger deal than say, stopping by a Starbucks for 30m... I would consider the Starbucks outing being a more casual situation than the former. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 9:35:31 AM | purfectmeow, Yes Southerners, are typically more friendly in every country. A little difference though in a Sicilian GS you can say something in a conversation that you thought was private, and the next thing you know everyone in the GS is coming over and giving you a hug. Sounds like you certainly have a taste of the beauty, but to constantly get hugs from even total strangers you always feel appreciated.
HawkingJr, To give up, the only one you are hurting is yourself, denying yourself of something that can be so beautiful. Yes rejection hurts and there are so many Ice Queens that they can make you greatly devalue yourself. Don't do that to your self. There are women out there with so much inward beauty that it is unimaginable, and finding them makes life awesome.
Irish71. I agree many women do use such as a deal breaker, and I'll even go one further, I've had gal friends that would go as far as to make up a husband or BF to discourage a guy. I can even go further, my GF that wasn't, no deception between us at all, but I was her cover for about a year. We would go out on fake dates, etc. just had a good time. No one hit on her because they thought we were an item, and she didn't loose her job because she was gay.
However I can also tell you of other couples, where the gal will go to the GS to pick up on a guy because the gal's hubby likes to hide in a closet and gets off watching some dude doing his wife.
There's millions of people, and millions of reasons they do what they do. Who's right, who's wrong, and what does it matter.
As for dodging a built, na actually a little more selfish then that, I want the girl who only has eyes for me, well at least
in her heart.
FitAtFittyFive, what a great opportunity that was. Much better line then telling them to "get a room". Good dead, well done.
Now Old Timers in HD, yep got a lot of jobs that way, and many a nice home cooked meal to boot.
Fleuron, Win, no. But hey, if I do win, does that mean you are Marrying the next guy who says hi to you in a GS. Oh and remember, you both must live happily ever after... | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:32:58 AM | I don't think it matters where you are, if you're friendly you're bound to have interactions and they don't necessarily mean anyone is hitting on you.
How about just chill and enjoy a hello or small chit-chat?
Smiling just feels good... a laugh, even more...
don't cheat yourselves. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:52:48 AM | ^Thats great advice sweet lady~
(I hope some posters take it) | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 10:52:54 AM | Never posted in these forums before, but I think it's kind of strange that I happen to see this thread because I just went on a date with a woman I bumped into at the grocery store.
Granted, she wasn't a complete stranger; I know her from high school. Not only did I graduate high school in 1996, but this girl was one of those people where I "knew who she was" but did not "know her", so she might as well have been a stranger.
Still, it was an uplifting experience. I was just stopping in after work to grab some food, and I left with a phone number. Wasn't expecting that at all. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:19:33 AM |
It is going to be a 'date', whether it be formal or casual, as its intent being exactly the same (spending time, getting to know each other). I agree, it's best to obviously go a very casual route if both were complete strangers 5-10 minutes ago. IMO, a one-on-one biking excursion is a bigger deal than say, stopping by a Starbucks for 30m... I would consider the Starbucks outing being a more casual situation than the former.
I disagree. You can spend time to get to know someone on a completely platonic level, and that's what I would take my variation as being. I'd basically not worry about whether I find the person attractive (heck, it could be a woman) or whether the person finds me attractive. It'd be friendly. Walking up to a girl and basically saying you find her attractive and would like to take her out, I'd see as being much different. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:06:08 PM | You can spend time to get to know someone on a completely platonic level, and that's what I would take my variation as being.
Technically you could hang out with a (platonic) friend to Starbucks or on a bike ride, yes. A bike ride is a bigger excursion, but both can be done with a friend or more than a friend.
But it's not going to be platonic, as it has no platonic intent unless rarely proven beyond a reasonable doubt (due to evidence), if a stranger guy you have a convo with asks to hang out with you. If it's just platonic, then if you were living with a boyfriend, and one day you start putting on your helmet and grabbing your bike and you start rolling out and he asks "Oh, where you going?" and you respond "Oh, I met this really cool guy named Brad in the checkout aisle. We got to talking, and he likes bike rides and asked me to go biking with him, and so we are....", would be okay. Only an idiot significant other would be okay with that scenario.
It's a good litmus test to see if it's actually platonic or not. Platonic isn't about going slow vs fast. Platonic means it's at Zero, and Zero is not a number, it's the explicit lack of a number. Truly platonic = no potential for being more than friends.
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:22:15 PM | | You and I might have to agree to disagree on that. I've had experiences of just being invited out to do something as friends and not read anything more into it. For instance, a male coworker and I were chatting about the fact that he runs marathons, and he invited me out to jog with him. He was single, I was single, but I never took it to be anything like a "date", and it wasn't. I wouldn't take a similar invitation from someone at the grocery store to be implicitly anything date-like either. I was suggesting a possibility to someone who wants to get to know a girl better without freaking her out with some date proposal at the grocery store. If it'll actually work in a guy's favor or not can't be known for sure, but I think suggesting something as friends is less threatening/on-the-spot than asking for a date. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:12:54 PM |
Some people are just very friendly and like to chat with whomever is in line.
This is exactly why I don't hit on women at places like a grocery store or bookstore.
What? You can’t just talk? I’ll talk to anybody, anywhere, generally.
It doesn’t have to be a “hit.” | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 12:53:17 PM | Janet_Always, I agree 100%, I couldn't imagine going through life hiding in a shell, but true, if that's the way they want to live...
matt051177, Congrats :)
Texan_Gal Been on a lot of dates with gals that were just friends, but there are those who can't see that. The "there must be something going on, they've been going out for six months now..". I look at those as, I know the truth, she knows the truth, all's we can do is tell the truth, if they don't want to believe, that's there problem.
Confident-Realist, I'm no idiot, in fact my IQ is quite high, and it is my education, experience, and confidence that would disagree with you. Bottom line, if the Love that me and my gal have between us, if that Love is not enough to keep her, then I don't need her. I don't need to go through life suspicious, or worried. No if she wants to go ridding with the guys, no problem, the odds are she's coming back, because she Loves me and it is exactly what she says it is. Besides, if it is not what she says it is, there is nothing I'm going to do to stop her either. When love is over, it is over, you can only prolong a misery. And it is much better to let go to salvage a friendship, then to hang on to what is over and make an enemy. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:24:13 PM | | You know what I have always wanted to do? Use the grocery store as a date setting. Think about it. Everyone always asks what someone's favorite foods are, etc.. However, imagine if you took someone there and just spent time together walking the isles, reflecting on favorite foods, which then brought back memories from childhood which would then spin off into other topics of conversation, etc.. Throw in a little spontaneous PDA in the frozen foods, picking out items to make S'mores, and a .99 movie from Redbox and you have got yourself a great, inexpensive, date. Isn't it always more interesting when you can be shown what someone likes as opposed to being told about it? | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:12:23 PM | For instance, a male coworker and I were chatting about the fact that he runs marathons, and he invited me out to jog with him.
Yeah, but that's someone you already knew on a platonic level. However him wanting to take a jog with you might perk some ears about possible intent, but hey, it could just be platonic, so it's much easier to take it on a platonic level because (unless there was sexual tension) it was already platonic between you two. Total difference than a guy coming up to you at a bar or grocery store. If it was a stranger guy approaching you in a public place, the intent couldn't be hidden. There's obviously interest by default to ask to go out with you, whether it's a taking-you-out-to-dinner, a bike ride, or stopping at a coffee shop to continue conversation.
I was suggesting a possibility to someone who wants to get to know a girl better without freaking her out with some date proposal at the grocery store.
But it IS a date! Not a formal date or a "date date", but it is a date in the general sense, because it has the exact same thing in common as a date-date: intent & interest. I understand comfort-level. That is important, and nobody likes a spotlight & expectations thrust on them. That's why it's common to ask for something non-romantic -- but that doesn't mean it's platonic at all... in order for it to be platonic, it's intent would have to be strictly platonic. Not role-playing platonic. But then again, asking an opp-sex stranger in a public place to hang out sometime, even something no-frills, is pretty obviously not platonic.
But what I was trying to make clear is that one shouldn't fool themselves. It's not "just friends". It's taking a casual approach, to avoid pressure & expectations. Big difference.
Something's only platonic unless it's okay to carry the whole situation through in every way, when you have a serious significant other. If I asked a girl who I talked with in the checkout isle, for her # and to hang out with me, while I had a girlfriend, I'd be the the bad guy. Why? It's not a platonic move. Even if it was for a non-romantic endeavor by itself (coffee, bike ride, or any daytime activity that friends do too). | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:39:48 PM | I've had to stop making eye contact with men at stores and similar places because they think I'm interested.
I've had to stop randomly smiling at people who happen to be men at stores and similar places because they think I'm flirting.
I've had to stop chit-chatting with men while standing in lines at stores and similar places because they think I'm hitting on them.
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I make eye contact and smile at ladies ,man and people in general. I made a lot of friends in this manner and definitely date a lot of woman. Ladies say that my eyes are the most attractive attribute of me.
I love Flirting, i have noticed that woman love flirting as much as I do..............they enjoy good flirting , harmless flirting...
I do chit chat with woman , they do not think anything out of it.........its comes very natural to me to talk to woman w/o being too obvious.I chit chat with woman to have a conversation not to pick up or date anyone unless i want to.....
If someone is not interested in me ...i Do not really care because I am not every one's cup of tea...I have accepted that fact
Talking to a ladies does not necessarily mean i am going to sleep with them...I have my choices too.........
I get annoyed when a woman think that every man is going jump into the sack with them........not really man have preference too. | |
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| Grocery Store Dating.
Posted: 8/19/2012 8:36:09 AM |
You know what I have always wanted to do? Use the grocery store as a date setting. Think about it. Everyone always asks what someone's favorite foods are, etc.. However, imagine if you took someone there and just spent time together walking the isles, reflecting on favorite foods, which then brought back memories from childhood which would then spin off into other topics of conversation...
Actually, this is a great type of date and I have done it plenty of times. What you do is invite them for dinner, so you either pick them up and go to a farmer's market or cool market or she comes to your place and then you both go there. It can be so much fun, but then you pick your menu, what you want to eat. Go home, then cook it. These are the type of dates that evolves not only into some incredible culinary experience, but also where the dessert is quite tasty. | |
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