| | Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)Page 5 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | Probably moreso than you, but at the same time, when I'm not at home, I realize peole do that and I know how to be polite to them, even if they aren't.
I'm not saying that I'M not polite. I'm saying that given the number of times some women get hit on that some guy is going to strike at a time when she's just not in the mood to deal with it or be polite. And that if you're man enough to go up to bother some woman it might be one just like that and you have to be man enough to take what comes after it.
Puhleeze. Wanting sex is no different than anything else someone wants from you or me or anyione else. You aren't that special.
I'm not claiming I'm special. I'm telling you what my experience is. When the ONLY approaches you get are because (as one guy put it) "[he] wants to shove his c*ck up [your] azz" and it happens multiple times a day it's tiresome. When you approach some women, it's stupid not to allow that she meets men just like you ALL THE TIME and the onus shouldn't be on her to act the way you want to to avoid hurting your feelings when you're the one who put yourself in the position in the first place. It's not fair to put that expectation on her and then cast aspersions on her character because she didn't live up to your fantasy.
Anytime you have to turn someone don't for what he/she wants, you're having to reject someone. That's what social skill is for. Some people have it. Some don't. You don't have to like interacting with people to have social skills. In fact, if you don't like interacting with people, having social skills is probably useful.
Some days, it feels like between my kids, my job, housework, spending time with friends, and just finding that 15 minutes or so to do something for myself like go for a walk that I'm stretched thin enough already. Having horny men come up to make sexual comments with the frequency it happens and having to play polite it feels like I'm being pulled in just one more direction and sometimes, I resent the hell out of it. Even more so when I know that most of the time when I say no, they're going to keep trying or turn on me. It's not fair for random strangers to put me in the position to have to be "not nice" (which is apparently what you are unless you say yes and give your number to some people)
When you go up to anyone, for any reason, you're are interrupting them and you don't get to complain if doing that gets you more than you bargained for.
Well... yeah. Do you still not comprehend that the initial attraction that causes the guy to approach you is pretty much always based on sex? Do you look at a hot guy and start wondering "I wonder what his favorite movie is" or do you start hoping he'll come talk to you? BOTH men and women act off a sexual attraction first, the emotional attraction comes later. If you want to prove me wrong, give the ugliest guy on the site the chance to gain your interest in him... Odds are, you'll just ignore his message because he doesn't look good enough for you. Women are no different than men, the only difference is that it's considered the man's job to initiate it.
Yeah, pretty much every time a guy goes out of his way to do something nice for you he's looking for something. Apparently you're very new at dating and have completely no clue how any of this works.
You seem to be very confused and incredibly off-topic. Simply leaving the house doesn't mean that a woman is fair game for "dating". Even if she's open to "dating" it doesn't mean she's "dating" 24/7. You might want her to be because you want to date her, but that's not reality.
It's so weird, so many people think that it's okay to treat women like sex objects and tell her that she should just get used to it. But it's not okay for someone else to point out that if you treat women like sex objects some of them won't like it and that you should just get used to it..... | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 3:18:41 PM | I don't think anyone is saying that it's okay for anyone to treat you 'like a sex object', but you don't seem to have caught on that living in civil society means having to deal with people that you might not want to. Nobody is asking you to be 'friendly' all the time, just minimally civil, which is what civil society is all about.
If you don't want to have to deal with people, start looking for a remote cabin in the desert somewhere...... | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 3:37:23 PM | Being someone who likes people in general, is friendly and smiles easily (at pretty much everyone), can definitely have its disadvantages, lol..
I've had quite a few guys say they didn't know whether I was flirting with them, and straight up ask me. Which can be kinda awkward when you know you aren't, lol.. and those are just the ones who didn't act on the belief that I was.
Ironically, when I was openly flirting.. the object of my affections was often totally oblivious, lol... | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:19:49 PM |
It's not fair for random strangers to put me in the position to have to be "not nice" (which is apparently what you are unless you say yes and give your number to some people)
Where in the world did you get the idea that anything in life was fair?
If you want to go through life with a chip on your shoulder, that's your choice. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:34:52 PM | | A guy can basically approach me anywhere that's not creepy/intrusive (like my car window or apartment door). However, he's not going to get anywhere trying to ask me on a date since I would see that as shallow (considering he knows nothing else about me). A friendly chat is great. Use it to determine if we actually have anything in common, and maybe we can do something "as friends" surrounding that commonality, and use that next outing to get to know each other even better. Just coming up to me and saying I'm beautiful then asking me out will get you NOwhere. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 4:45:12 PM |
If she's in the mens restroom, she's probably looking for it... I know I know, I'm going to get hammered. I ain't skeered!
No, no get it right! if she's in the men's room it just means she really had to pee and the lineup for the ladies room was too long!
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:13:19 PM |
Where in the world did you get the idea that anything in life was fair?
Life isn't fair, which is pretty much the point I'm trying to get across to those who bother other people trying to get in their pants.... don't whine when she's not "fair" by being as nice as you want her to be and call her a b*tch only because you don't get the reaction you were hoping for.
If you want to go through life thinking that every woman who isn't grateful for every scrap of attention from strangers has a chip on her shoulder, you go right ahead.
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 5:49:43 PM |
I just got complimented pumping gas...............sill having heart palpitations.........good thing I had my pepper spray......................the nerve of him.........he should be arrested.......that evil man
The guy at the gas pump hit on me too. I told him that he should save that for his wife. I am not married. WOW really you mean the baby sit is just there in the Mercedes station wagon??? WHAT single man drives a station wagon regardless of the brand. ANOTHER one in grocery store parking lot another baby sit. ANOTHER wife, anther MERCEDES but not an station wagon this time.
I dont need random men to tell me what I look like. I have my mirror in my bathroom and I have the little old lady upstairs.... SHE gives compliments with NO strings attached. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:37:12 PM |
Simply leaving the house doesn't mean that a woman is fair game for "dating". Even if she's open to "dating" it doesn't mean she's "dating" 24/7. You might want her to be because you want to date her, but that's not reality.
OK... You have 2 choices. I see you and I'm interested in you. I can approach you at the gym, or I can follow you out of the gym, and follow you wherever you're going until it's somewhere more appropriate to approach you.
It's your choice, pick one. I still don't think you understand that to meet you, we have to actually approach you. And since most of us aren't stalkers, we might not ever see you somewhere "more appropriate" until it's too late.
We're not treating you like sex objects. It's just, and this might be surprising, not everyone needs to use a dating site to meet other people. You're detached from the rest of the social world. This is what people do, this is how people meet.
But the crazy part, you don't even have to acknowledge us. If I walk up to you and say "hi", you can just ignore me if you want to. But when you're in public, you have to accept the fact that other people exist, and other people are going to be interested in you.
Yeah, it can get annoying, but take it as a blessing... There's woman on this site who would give anything to have a guy actually approach them in public. There's women on here who have never been on a single date in their lives. Or even worse, never talked to a man before.
So, sorry that you're inconvenienced by men walking up to you in public. At least you're not suicidal because you think that no guy will ever have an interest in you, and for the last 30 years that's been true. No, being approached by men in public is a terrible problem. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:45:15 PM | Anywhere if the woman is attracted to the guy.
Nowhere if the woman is not attracted to the guy.
/thread
Sounds about right.
A six foot four, bear chested, 6 pack packing, blonde haired blue eyed Spartan look alike could probably pick a woman up in the women's bathroom.
Not ANY woman, but at least ONE...and her friend.
To keep it fair (i.e. non-sexist),I accept compliments anywhere and get them everywhere...just not vocally. Women are more apt to compliment men with eye contact and a sly cut of the lip than actually saying "YOUR HOT!!!" (which I only get in places with gratuitous alcohol and the streets surrounding such places). I guess you just have to be attentive.
To the best of my memory...I've never been complimented in a place that I considered inappropriate. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:02:02 PM |
A guy can basically approach me anywhere that's not creepy/intrusive
This is a good point.
I have found that the absolute best way and place to approach women is in parking garages dressed in my clown suit. They scream so loud, and it makes me feel like one of the Beatles when they debuted in America back in 1964.
What an ego boost. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:51:22 PM | Some women who feel they are treated badly by men in public places, sometimes the first thought in my head is where do you live?
I think some women are treated badly by men, some but not all, because they are running into some seriously scum ball men.
I think some women are treated badly by men, some but not all, because there is a clear hierarchy of physically attractiveness in this society and those who are considered less attractive are sometimes treated with little regard as not much more than useful for sex. ( I don't agree with the men who do this, I think it's unacceptable behavior, but I recognize that it happens)
Then I think some women just live in areas that are generally poor and are full of uneducated and poorly socialized people around them, including men.
I see this with parents all the time, not just single moms and not just single dads, but both men and women. Often they want to move their kids to the best neighborhoods they can and with the better schools and hang around other kids and families that shown the typical markers of stability and success in this culture. Most parents want their kids out of the bad crime ridden impoverished neighborhoods and into places where kids are talking about college or sports and not selling drugs and when to visit their absentee fathers in prison.
I've traveled a good deal for my work in my life and there are just some places I've been that I wouldn't want to live there or raise a family there or even send my worst enemy there to spend the night. There are just places in the world where there is a high rate of folks who are poorly educated and poor socialized and fall into cycles of poverty or violence or simple family decay. Same thing to some women who complain about the gym. Sometimes going to a nicer gym or frequenting nicer grocery stores and nicer areas will reduce the rate of negative experiences. All? No. But a lot? I think there is some merit to that. I'm not saying every wealthier neighborhood is chock full of awesome and polite people, but I think the relative odds go up you are dealing at least with a higher percentage of folks who have been socialized at what might be considered an acceptable level for a person to go about their day, most days, unencumbered by harassment.
Some women might say, well I can't afford it. Then I say to you, then that's just a part of life. Just like kids whose parents can't afford to move them to better neighborhoods and better schools, sometimes a lack of resources means you have to suffer more in this society. And that concept is not gender specific, it's all people out there.
Do I believe men should take a polite and earnest shot if they have interest in a woman they see in public? Yes, I do. I think most of the time, most men are not out there to be creeper and lechers and dirtbags. But I think what most men can do is no matter what kind of response women give you, either good or bad, to just keep your cool and be polite and be decent and let it roll off your back. Give as much tolerance as you ask for yourself.
Some of you women, honestly, some of you I just think are just plain entitled. Life isn't fair. Learn to deal. Your first world problems aren't the complete end of the known world.
Some of you women, maybe you just have the worst luck in the world or are simply unaware of your own part in the madness around you.
Some of you women, maybe you just aren't as attractive to mainstream society as you think you are, and sadly, might just be attractive enough for poor and uneducated and rude men to see you as a walking jizz sponge instead of a human being.
And finally some of you women, I don't think it's just men, I think some of you might need to move to a place where there are a higher percentage of people who are more likely to have been socialized and been educated to the degree where civility isn't a rare occurrence. I'm trying very hard not to call anyone out there " low class " but I think life is just easier for those out there to avoid a "class" area that they feel offers them a negative outcome.
In any of the cases, you can complain about it, or you can look for practical solutions for it. But what won't happen is some widespread movement where men stop approaching you. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 7:58:00 PM | it boils down to this for most guys.:
Either approach women or forever be single.
Most guys don't have the luxury of having women come up to them all the time.
Sorry if its an inconvenience to you women, but hey, its for the survival of the species that we are the way we are :). | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:07:32 PM | @ mountheart breaks
Yeah I agree.
If the guys that are hitting on you are disgusting/obnoxious...more than likely you carry yourself in a way that scares off the good ones and attracts the scumbags.
At the end of the day girls...it's your own attitude that is killing you.
Just sayin'. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:15:15 PM | "Yeah, it's a blessing to have to hurry to the store to grab something you need for supper guests that are arriving in 30 minutes and get stopped 3-4 times on the way by men who are "nice enough" to come up to you and pay you some attention that you don't want didn't ask for and really don't have time for at that moment. And know that the only reason they do so is because they see you as ONLY the sum of your body parts. And then know that no matter how nice you are, about half of them won't take the rejection well at all. Some will demand a reason, some will follow you, some will call you a down to the dirt.... "
Yeah my ass bleeds for you poor little purdy girl...
I was pretty much invisible to women until I was in my late 20's. Couldn't get a date to save my life with any girl, anywhere.
Plenty of insults though.
And no, I was never rude or impolite. Maybe I should have been but I wasn't.
Welcome to the Human Race. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 8:44:36 PM |
Either approach women or forever be single.
Most guys don't have the luxury of having women come up to them all the time.
Sorry if its an inconvenience to you women, but hey, its for the survival of the species that we are the way we are :).
Kind of my thought as well. You can't win the lotto if you don't buy a ticket. The lady will either say yes or no...it only takes one yes. Just some guys are better at picking locations to ask and better delivery. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/12/2012 11:23:29 PM | My favorite places to meet women:
1) As they're walking into the bathroom
2) Dark alleys
3) In the ER of my local hospital
4) At the cemetery
5) Anywhere while they're out on a date with another guy
Oh yeah, and the gym. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/13/2012 4:10:08 AM |
Never hit a girl while she is with her friends that is just stupid and insensitive.. I agree with reading body language. Guys can be so clueless.
Not all women would mind this. I'm not one to lock myself up in my circle of friends, throw away the key, and pay no mind to others I happen to be sharing space with in public at the time. Men are free to approach me wherever and whenever they damn well please (as long as they aren't carrying frightening looking sharp or blunt objects, that is). | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:44:27 AM | Never hit a girl while she is with her friends that is just stupid and insensitive.. I agree with reading body language. Guys can be so clueless.
Glad that I completely ignore this advice when I'm out, otherwise I would never have met my GF (3+ years and counting).
She was out with her friends, I approached them (and was actually initially interested in her friend), found out very quickly there was no chemistry with her friend, but realized that I had chemistry with my future GF.
And yes, my GF was sending off all kinds of signals that she wasn't interested in meeting a guy that night, including to me. In fact, she started off acting like the c*ckblocking friend, interrogating and challenging me (she told me later her intention was to screen me for her friend) ... however, as I talked with the 3 of them, those signals gradually disappeared and by the end of the night I had her number (which she gave somewhat reluctantly I might add as she made clear she wasn't looking for a relationship).
The rest was history.
Sometimes you gotta break some eggs to make an omelette... | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:49:30 AM | I guess once again its a southern thing.
Ive never really experienced the creepy or disgusting "flirt" there.
Stalkerish~ a few times, but thats an easy fix when you have a permit to carry. | |
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| Where DO you feel it's okay to approach you? (women)
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:47:58 AM |
I guess once again its a southern thing.
Thanks to this thread and many...I do mean many...like it. I'm glad I live in the south. Where women are still polite and cordial. Yeah there are a few snobs out there but they are few and far between where I live. The small town might know everything I do, with gossip and spying but its better than rude women with entitlement issues.
And yes if men don't approach women he might as well become a monk...because he's not getting a date...esp where I live as well. It's like the lottery like another poster said "you cannot win if you don't play." | |
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