| | Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?Page 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) |
ESPECIALLY if the woman lives with you. You KNOW that women are ENTITLED TO BE HOUSED, FOR FREE! OMG ! lol
SOMEBODY has to pay for the house that they live in, and it should NEVER, EVER BE AN ENTITLEMENT PRINCESS! Mortgage Companies Take Note !!!LOLOL
You just described one of my ex's (20yrs ago now). She moved in and I was paying for the house, bills, etc, myself anyways (my house), so stupid me - not gonna have her pay anything. I'll add here, we both made basically the same income.
2 months later, "this house is too small, we need a bigger house"... um, ok, "we" can buy something bigger together, but we'd have to split it because "I" can't afford anything more... "oh, forget it then"... and a month later "we" need to redo the kitchen at least - fine by me, but "I" can't afford it - but "we" could... "forget it then". Yeah, that didn't last long, she was off cheating on me within a year (for someone who made more $$).
Funny how before she moved in she was "sooo in love" and we split things as need be, and virtually overnight once she moved in "I" was expected to pay for everything. So much for "partnership". | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/13/2012 6:31:14 AM | The rule is: No man should ever come see you broke. It's insulting. He obviously doesn't think much of the date. I know this is a new day and age, but at the end of the day...a man should always represent himself as a man--a provider.
This mindset is so outdated it's funny. This line of thinking dates back before the 70s, when women stayed home and raised the kids and took care of the house. The reason the men were *expected* to be the providers is because women had no income. It's a new day, ladies. We have jobs now. I admit, I'm old fashioned when it comes to the whole wanting a guy to pursue thing, but at least I understand that two incomes now means that you have twice as many people to help pay the tab. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/13/2012 5:58:30 PM | | The op is not saying men should pay for everything. Nor is anyone else. She's upset because she's footing the bill for almost everything. Some women and men expect others to pay for everything, that's not the case in this particular thread. | |
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largo2
| | Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 54 | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:37:11 AM | Thank you! As I have expressed prior, I have no issues with paying for dates, I have no issues paying/going 'dutch' I do have an issue with someone not communicating with me that there is an expectation about payment. The guy and I ended our 'relationship' this morning at breakfast. and, I had the check divided because his thought was that because I chose the restaurant, I should pay - that's not going dutch...
I forgot to mention that when he would stay over at my house (yes, we moved the relationship into the romantic phase) he would use my shampoo, bodywash, razor, toothbrush and bring his dirty clothes to my place to wash (no he didn't provide laundry soap)... I paid for all of it... and I'M called a cheapskate and being judged by folks on this site?? | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:44:03 AM | I did mention to him that we should split the cost of food during one trip to the grocery store and he muttered that he was going to go wait in the car and he did just that... after NOT giving me any $ for the food he picked out, and wanted...
that trip cost me over $100... and cost him $0
I don't happen to think going to dinner at a mid range restaurant is excessive. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:48:04 AM | Look... this guy put his dog first before us. He puts his dog first before his 14 year old daughter too (I've seen it... gotta walk the dog darling you'll have to wait until we're done until I can come pick you up) sorry... I don't happen to agree with that mindset.
I have NO ISSUE with bringing a man on a date and have done so several times. I've bought trips for the men in my life so don't make assumptions about me. I just don't like being lied to and he finally fessed up he isn't working at the present time. I've been unemployed before so I understand having to pinch pennies... but be honest and communicate... it's important | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 10:00:58 AM | Don't let some upset you Lina. Lots are eager to jump on the "golddigger" bandwagon no matter the actual topic. This man should have been honest with you about his lack of employment. He should have also not requested dinners at your house if he could not provide the same to you.
Hope your next experience is better! | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 12:07:38 PM | Money is always a tough issue in the beginning. Women don't want to be perceived as gold diggers and want to be courted. Women can quickly gauge a man's interest by the effort he puts into courting you. A guy that has no problem being 'cheap' is not into you. A man that digs you will make sacrifices. This usually translates to time and money. I'm all into courtship and chivalry. Call me old fashioned, but I pay for everything until it gets to weekend getaways and by then we're pretty serious.
I also think that you've been rewarding his lame behavior by accepting it. Every sleaze or jerk out there believes their behavior works because it has worked before. See where I'm going with this, lol?? | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 2:52:34 PM | What I don't get, OP, is you are still here b**ching/whining about this guy... why are you still with him?
I mean seriously, don't buy a horse farm if you don't like the smell of horse dung. And if you do buy a horse farm when you don't like the smell - don't spend the next year b**ching you don't like the smell. It was your own choice. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/14/2012 3:08:15 PM | Rather than continue to criticize and compare cheap-ass dates with everyone, how about sitting down and thinking what you did wrong to promote this?
There is something here for you to learn and if you let yourself become sidetracked with bitterness you will miss it. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/15/2012 3:44:34 PM | | I agree with the above, perhaps he is married and doesnt want to spend money on a woman he simple see's as a bit of extra fun. Really sorry to hear about it but being honest its not like you didnt notice this flaw in his character you could have ended it ealier on. Dont waste more of your time and money with this low life. Also you say your not sure what he does for a living, what have you been taling about then ? I would have throught that fater 6 weeks this is something you would know. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:28:15 PM | Dating means an on-going affair, of going out together, where it's a given that you will see them again, and again after that, and assuming nothing goes wrong, another time after that, etc. Going out on A date is not dating, even with another date set up afterwards is not datING (yet?). It requires a demonstration of on-going one-on-one sessions of time spent together to already been had with it set to continue in that direction more-or-less indefinitely (until something cracks it).
Now dating in the context of the dating world, in reference to what a 'date' means -- no, a guy doesn't have to pay. That's not required. But many women won't end up datING a particular guy if after a couple dates she realizes that he doesn't want to pay when she does want him to pay because he's male.
And if he's active in his profile, and changing it up, then you're certainly not exclusive. He probably doesn't have much money and at the same time, lacks interest in you if you've gone on more than one date and he's changing up his profile.
You shouldn't though, expect a near-stranger guy to spoil you buy paying for fancy dinners and outings. That getting-to-know-ya-phase should have an emphasis on getting to know each other, not each others' wallets... but no, that doesn't mean the guy should -refuse- to pay for anything big or small. But instead outings at not-so-expensive places is good, because there are many people a guy's going to have 1-3 dates with, one gal after another during that getting-to-know-ya-phase, so you can't expect him to throw down tons o cash... and as long as the environment's decent, that's all that matters, as it's about getting to know the other person. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:37:34 PM | I think you've hit on a key issue here with the definition thingy, before I get into it may I say that I do think that if I ask a lady out I expect it to be at my expense and it wouldn't be the first time i've been invited somewhere and not been expected to cope with the expense.
Now back to the definitions, especially on profiles, I don't know if it's an exclusively Irish thing but seemingly an "average" body type is grossly overweight, "athletic" means built like an extremely out of condition russian shotputter.
I was on this site a couple of years ago and I see the same people with the same pictures on here now so they just can't possibly be current, I met one lady for a date and I really felt that I should have just walked away when I saw her, her photo must have been at least twenty years old, and as for the lies people tell about their ages ...........
I don't know if it's restricted to ladies either but I doubt it, I'm becoming very disheartened by the whole experience in fact. | |
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| Has the definition of 'dating' changed and no one told me?
Posted: 7/15/2012 7:32:07 PM | I'm sorry lady... but that's a NO GO.
Rant * my g*** what women will let me get away with! gaaa... Rant over*
I asked you out... I'm ready to pay... I want to see you... I don't care about the money!
Granted be nice and don't do the lobster all the time.
Call me old school or whatever but I have three ways or thinking that I am fine with.
1- I'm the Man, I asked, I treat = I pay. You don't owe me a thing because this is how I was raised. (and my mom would switch me if she knew I was not a gent (Yes, a combat vet that is still scared of momma ;) . disappointing her with less than awesome behavior is a no go)).
2- date wants to split it. Okay cool (Some women have a thing about men buying for them). A good friend of many years once, well several times, scolded me about getting the door for her. She explained that men that do that only want one thing from women. I was so HURT. I sucked it up and scolded her back for being a fem-nazi and that she should know me better than that (after 5 years). Granted she does have a point about a couple guys she knows; I'm just not one of them.
3- it's perfectly good for her to treat me! If she wants to pick up the check to be nice or whatever great! She is so getting my number and another date. Maybe even a kiss good night if she wants one.
My thought is this: He is a cheap A&* and has found someone that will put up with him and be a doormat for him.
You are a good looking woman... wait gonna check bio.... yep.. you are! So why are you being a doormat? Ditch him and don't put up with that or anything less than what I described above for you. YOU DESERVE THE BEST and no BS. Just saying.... ;)
I didn't let a gf see my house either twice. One cause I had not cleaned and another time because I had bugs and was embarrassed! but by week three it was okay. :) | |
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