| | Why make all the sacrifices?Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) |
I am not sure why some women open relationship discussions with 'don't look to me for sex' it's about as appealing as revealing she has an STD.
Sad but true as their time has expired & now have to move into cloister convent,saved from the wolves out there finally.
Putting a time line on intimacy is definitely controlling.
Or emotionally past their prime.....jmo
But, lets not forget those who tell us in their bio they will not settle for less! lol
cuz the past 2,3,4 long relationship's they were in were not up too pair either. lol cheers | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/15/2012 4:09:16 PM | I'm sorry, unreasonable or not, if I tell you I'm waiting to have sex and you respond by telling me, "Fine, I'll be having sex with other women while you're waiting..."
There's the door. We are obviously not on the same wavelength and might as well cut our losses now. It's glaring to me that you're already counting sacrifices and keeping score.
Do what you do, but that was not a match made in heaven. Some women are free with sexuality - I'd recommend you find someone like that. The best match for a woman with a timeline is a man who respects timelines. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 1:49:58 PM | | Another thing I would like to bring up is if women are expecting the guy to make the move, then how can that be in this situation? How am I suppose to know when she is ready? And if she just comes out and says "Ok, I'm ready to bang whenever you are, its your move now" wtf is that? I think that would be pretty lame. So my question would be. How would I know? How will she tell me? | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:08:13 PM | Yeah, I can see where she wasn't impressed. I'm not sure how someone can put hard and fast (no pun, lol!) rules on such things, however. It seems she is more concerned with following some set "rules" than just letting things develop naturally. I doubt any woman would wait MONTHS for a guy she really digs. Could have been a little "test" and you FAILED. Good for your honesty anyway!
^^You pick up on CUES when a woman is ready by GETTING TO KNOW HER CUES.^^
Guess what? That takes some time. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:19:21 PM |
I doubt any woman would wait MONTHS for a guy she really digs.
You DO know there are still many people waiting until marriage... I'd say those people more than "dig" each other. They just treasure physical intimacy differently. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:24:31 PM | This whole notion of people wanting to 'have their cake and eat it' is one of the biggest flaws of internet dating sites. I remember when you could go out and meet someone you liked, chat with them and ask them out on a date and start seeing them exclusively. Internet dating seems to involve individuals talking to as many people as takes their fancy, go on multiple dates with different people and carry on doing this until they leave the site or meet someone 'special' and all the rest of the people they were previously dating/talking to get up one day to see that person has suddenly disappeared without a word.
What happened to meeting one person and concentrate on them with sacrifices being made on both sides. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:25:54 PM |
You DO know there are still many people waiting until marriage... I'd say those people more than "dig" each other. They just treasure physical intimacy differently.
I used to be heavily Christian, and remember how well that used to work out in the long run with other Christians. It generally worked as well inverse to how desired the people would be by anyone else. As long as both parties were desperate enough, it tended to work out, however! | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:41:36 PM | | abmccray, it's fair that that's been your experience or observation, but I have a beautiful, slim coworker who waited until marriage (at the age of ~28). I don't know about her husband's V-card status at the time of the marriage, but I do know that he was at least "willing to wait" for her. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/17/2012 4:24:24 PM | Flurr- What you say in the first line of your post decided how I respond. If you had just told her, I want to date, but nothing serious, I would have been ok with that. At least you would be honest.
However, you admit "there is mutual interest to continue and see if you can build a relationship". By your own words you admit you tell her you want a relationship and then when she won't put out right away you turn around a tell her if she doesn't, someone else will.
Bad form, really!
Decide what you want, casual or serious and don't play games with people's hearts, not nice :( | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:41:30 AM |
the problem is..ur too honest..why state the obvious? Bang all the other chicks u want but keep ur mouth shut!! lol..
I agree with this.
Until your actually a couple, she doesn't need to know everything.
You have the right to do whatever you want. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:00:19 AM |
Until your actually a couple, she doesn't need to know everything.
Exactly. No need to shelve your desires because she prefers time to think. Either one of you could decide a week later that you are completely uninterested in each other. Or you could decide to become exclusive at which point you WANT to see only her. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:04:11 AM |
be honest and let her know that while waiting to take the next step into a relationship you will be seeing other girls. .....IF you were really into her then why would you want to meet other girl's?
Your not making ALL the sacrifices!
She want's to make sure the time is right before she gives herself to you.
If you think that sex takes priority in your life then go for it ...she is not the girl for you.
Sex is obviously a very important thing to you, but emotions are more important to her.
I'm not interested in not having sex for the next 3, 4 or however many months she decides
What are you going to do AFTER she decides to have sex with you? | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:10:25 AM |
Another thing I would like to bring up is if women are expecting the guy to make the move, then how can that be in this situation? How am I suppose to know when she is ready? And if she just comes out and says "Ok, I'm ready to bang whenever you are, its your move now" wtf is that? I think that would be pretty lame. So my question would be. How would I know? How will she tell me?
Make what move? Women want you to show that you are interested in them. They want you to take the leap in asking them out. They want to know you are attracted to them so you go for the first kiss. You can also let them know you are attracted to them sexually. If they don't respond to that or respond that they want to wait than you merely tell them when they are ready the ball is in their court.
Choose your words wisely guy. From what I read of your post the biggest problem I have seen with you is your choice of words. Instead of saying I'm going to continue to see different women until she makes a decision you could say I'd love to be in a commited relationship. I really hope that it can be with you. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:10:30 AM | be honest and let her know that while waiting to take the next step into a relationship you will be seeing other girls
If some guy said that to me, I'd have to go ahead and assume he was infected so I wouldn't touch his d1ck with my BFF's 10-foot-pole. You are either building a relationship or you're a free agent. Make up your mind, but don't sit there and pretend like she's taking something away from you because you can't have it both ways.
Is it unreasonable for her to expect you to make all the sacrifices?
YOU are making ALLLL the sacrifices here. Such a martyr. I guess you never stopped to think that she enjoys sex just as much as you do but is willing to sacrifice her baser urges for the sake of building a relationship. After your particular brand of honesty, I'm thinking she's probably more concerned about her health based on the quality of the various holes you've been recreationally plugging in the meantime. As she should be.
It's pretty obvious where your priorities are. Find somebody who wants to play by the same rules, problem solved. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 10:52:52 AM | What is funny, is the OP, like pretty much every male parent, will coach his future daughter to 'wait until you know you love him'...but expect everyone else's daughter to spread em when he wants them to. I dont think that is going to work very well for him.
I have yet to see ANY dad be all gung ho for his daughter to have sex with men just because the men asked.
Asking for time to get to know someone before allowing them entry inside your body, is not controlling, it is wise.
Im not saying anyone who waits is NOT controlling, but asking for time to make an informed choice is not the qualifier.
All I know is, the best sex for me has always been with a man I knew well and was 100% comfortable with. Anything less, was...well, less! | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:16:32 AM | You both made some mistakes...
First off, sex isn't a prize for dating a woman long enough. We really need to get out of that way of thinking. It's OK to want to wait, but when you put a time frame on it, there's usually something else that isn't being told. Basically, if she said that she wanted to get to know you better and be more comfortable with you before sex, then that's fine... If she tells you she wants to wait a few months, that seems like there might be a trust issue. It seems more like she's waiting until she can say that she's your girlfriend, and you're not going to leave her, than being comfortable and everything with you, if that makes sense. Basically, she's saying "be my boyfriend and you'll get laid"... Basically manipulating you.
Also, you're an idiot for telling her you were going to be talking to other women. Both guys and girls do it while they're just dating. It's not too uncommon for a girl to be on a date with a guy one night, then a date with another guy the next night, until they find someone that they want to stick with... But nobody wants to actually know that the other person is doing that. That's a great way to bring out any insecurities from people.
Give her the chance, but don't stop dating, just don't tell her about it. I really don't know why you thought that was a good idea. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:24:03 PM | Soooooo, here is an update for everyone... We just talked and the whole 3, 4 months thing was just some bullshit she fed me at first, more or less to get the point across that she is in no way a slut. I explained thoroughly my view on the situation and she later agreed and she admitted that she was worried that I would find somebody else and got upset when I first told her because she I thought I would react by giving in. Looks like I was actually the only one being honest from the start in this situation, and now that everyone is open, honest, and on the same page, everything is well :)
Thanks to those of you who understood where I was coming from and for the haters....well you know what you can do.
:P | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/20/2012 10:24:08 PM | | Aw, you gave her a reason to panic about finding someone else, and she was playing a game but gave in. So cute! Best of luck. | |
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| Why make all the sacrifices?
Posted: 7/21/2012 7:44:21 AM |
the whole 3,4 months thing was just some bullshit .....What if it wasn't?
Would you still leave her dangling on the hook whilst you continued to fish?
So now you don't have to wait 3/4 months for sex, does that make you more interested in her?
and for the haters .....Hater's of what or who? These are just people who disagree with your method's of courtship. Not everyone think's the same which is what makes us all unique :) | |
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