| | what do you look for Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | It's kind of odd, aside from the humorous replies, that people are putting forth personality first, as if the question strictly relationship-worthiness only. (Yes, I know this post may get some flame responses).
Honestly, the first deal breaker is looks for most not-so-average to above people: body structure & shape, and facial structure & features. Not obsession, and in fact takes little thinking at all to assess -- just an initial deal breaker for any consideration. If not that so much, status level would be the first deal breaker (either or; stronger suit for women).
Once that's out of the way, on a pass-fail basis, it's going to be the particulars they go for in the characteristics about the person: the way they carry themselves, sense of humor, level of masculinity/femininity, easy-goingness, fiestiness, etc. (that's where the real variation in people comes in). A particularly higher-than-normal level of looks or status will make such things have more flexibility. An on-the-fence/not-quite-soo-much level of looks and/or status makes all that very stringent.
IMO, that's the gist of most people in society, if that's the OP's bottom line of inquiry. They won't even assess one's personality traits if they're not sexually attracted to them. They probably won't carry out their initial attraction if your status level seems clearly sub-par by their eyes (namely women of good status; lesser men). But with that out of the way, on a deeper level of attraction which requires engaging with them, that's where it gets interesting and the other intricate, more personable things flow in. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/17/2012 7:56:37 PM |
It's kind of odd, aside from the humorous replies, that people are putting forth personality first, as if the question wasn't about attraction (being drawn to), but about relationship-worthiness only.
You can be drawn to and very attracted to a particular personality. I think that’s why some people mentioned it in response to the question. Relationship-worthiness is subjective and a matter of perception, no matter what your response is. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:17:16 PM | | Well groomed, polite, friendly, interesting, kind, and a great attitude. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:00:41 AM | male, pulse.. and even that seems to be asking too much ;o~
Apologies in advance for this...=)
If you can't find a pulse in the usual places, check in the not so usual places. Usually, that's where all the blood has gone. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:06:56 AM | Mutual: physical... intellectual.... emotional attraction.
Compatible: temperament... humor... values ... outlook & goals in life. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 8:52:43 AM | big muscles, dark hair, tall 6 foot 2, blue eyes, straight white teeth, rich, pays for everything, buys me things, takes me on vacations, dies and gives me a friggen HUGE inheritence...
Ok, I think i'm getting ahead of myself...
But you get the idea.
:p | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:08:21 AM |
big muscles, dark hair, tall 6 foot 2, blue eyes, straight white teeth, rich, pays for everything, buys me things, takes me on vacations, dies and gives me a friggen HUGE inheritence...
Da mn. I was getting excited about where this was going!! | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:56:58 AM | | Honesty, a man of his word, no facial hair, ability to communicate his anger or irritation without aggression | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 10:25:25 AM | Obviously it's the physical for me first.....
taller
thin
attractive
current
then the inner secondly......
happy
confident
available
and the real biggy for me is......EFFORT | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:29:26 AM | | So most of the women who have commented here seem to have a long list of what they do or don't look for. I thought I'd try to break away from my original list and date the first guy who ventured to ask me out. We chatted for about a week, and I invited him to Sunday lunch. I knew when he arrived, late, wearing a vest under his leather jacket that this wasn't they type of guy I'm likely to be interested in. The second guy was really sweet, a lot over-weight but I thought "hey give the guy a chance". We had a nice evening, but in all honesty the weight was off-putting and if I didn't fancy him, what was I doing there???? So, I've decided my next date (if and when it ever happens) will at least be with someone who I'm attracted to physically (and I'll double check they don't own a vest first) | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 1:53:35 PM |
I'm looking for an experienced hiker who has physical stamina and won't pass out on me. I'm not known to carry a portable oxygen tank for my date. Having to call 911 for my date would not be a romantic moment!
quote]
This seems specific enough that you could look into other ways of meeting guys. Washington has plenty of hiking clubs, mountaineering groups and a few hiking specific websites (nwhikers or washington trails association). They have social meets, volunteer trail work parties and group hikes. The biggest issue I have with the groups is they seem to all be about 20-30 years older than me.
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 4:56:17 PM | 1975giggles- Compatibility is a large umbrella term, but is key.
For me that means a love of family, intelligence, kindness, faithfulness, a sense of humor, a love of life and realizing what is truly important, enjoying simple things, yet fun loving too.
Pluses are an interest in music, cooking, reading, learning, grilling, pool, football, fishing, the water and animals :) | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 5:56:47 PM |
big muscles, dark hair, tall 6 foot 2, blue eyes, straight white teeth, rich, pays for everything, buys me things, takes me on vacations, dies and gives me a friggen HUGE inheritence...
Wow. I hope this is a joke. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:18:48 PM | *please send a copy of your health insurance card
(yes, that's a joke)
Oh all right dagnabbit! I was being serious! | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 6:49:32 PM | Thanks!
Nope. That's when I'm po'd. I mewl when I;m feeling frisky. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/18/2012 7:22:34 PM | | I am just looking for a good friend to lead to intimacy and companionship. How to get noticed? would be the better question. There has to be someone for everyone. Right? | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 11:42:54 AM | Someone that is excited about his own life
Has similar morals and ethics
Pleasant when he gets up in the morning
Enjoys physical and emotional connection frequently
Understands humility as a strength
Knows how to express his anger appropriately
Hardworking and loves what he does
Generous without being taken advantage of
Responsible without anal tendencies
Willing to see past my imperfections or maybe even love me more because of them
Not obsessed about how he looks, but good grooming is just a habit
Witty sense of humor
Enjoys treating me like a lady
Forgiveness and apologies come easily -- and are genuine
Actually I've just highlighted just some of the things I love about the man I'm with now. I feel very fortunate. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:31:09 PM |
big muscles, dark hair, tall 6 foot 2, blue eyes, straight white teeth, rich, pays for everything, buys me things, takes me on vacations, dies and gives me a friggen HUGE inheritence...
Wow. I hope this is a joke.
Of course it was a joke.
But i'd certinaly think twice if a guy like that was actually interested in me :p | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 10:01:59 PM | Sexy
From the way he thinks, act, dress and looks. He may not be to you or anyone else but to me he is and because of it he will curl my toes even years from now.
I'm into a man's man. Chest and arms (big guns) but chivalrous ........with an air of devilish flirt or maybe that's me and he'll be the receiver.
He's someone I can depend on, who knows he can depend on me as well.
He has to be able to handle me and love handling me because I can be a pistol at times. Good and bad.
Mostly good which is why he loves it.
Oh .. and good kisser! It's imperative!! | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 10:04:05 PM | Looks are fine but without personality and character I am not interested. That indefinable chemistry that gives even less than average people a chance at romance cannot be predicted.
We are all looking for different things but most of us want honesty, kindness, financial viability, intelligence and humour. If they take care of themselves with grooming and diet it shows self respect and so others will respect them also. The way they treat me and listen to me and show an interest is paramount. A nice smile is always a winner of course. The way a man walks and talks is what makes up the mix of attraction. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 10:11:50 PM | Personality.
A sense of humor is a must. A bit twisted/wicked is even better.
The physical attribute must be there, but it's not the most important things on my list.
His ability to carry a conversation.
His mind.
The life style that he lives. If he's one that never wants to leave the house...I tend to pass. If he only wants to hang out in bars...again, I pass.
Common interests.
I also agree. Does his actions match his words. | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 11:05:36 PM | Visual appeal... yeah, someone else used those words, but they apply. It doesn't have a set look- I tend MORE toward dark hair and eyes but that's not always neccessary... if they have visual appeal they get my attention, if they can keep me laughing they keep my attention...
Oh, and NOT clingy! had a guy ask after the first meet if I would marry him- RED FLAG! HELL NO! | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/19/2012 11:24:03 PM | A pulse ''Inheritance ''Lol you gals are funny LOl
Voice 'Face & eyes is first and foremost ''His Laugh ' & 'Shoes | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/21/2012 2:12:48 PM | You can be drawn to and very attracted to a particular personality.
Yes, true of course, but not if the looks aren't sufficient. It can make a guy who's seen as OKAY looking as good as a guy who's HOT, to some women, sure. But if he's not even considerable in her eyes as far as looks, it ain't going anywhere. Additionally, looks plays a role in one's assessment of personality, too, so in some cases, you're not going to even be attracted to their personality if you happen to actually get to know them if their looks are far off.
I think that’s why some people mentioned it in response to the question. Relationship-worthiness is subjective and a matter of perception, no matter what your response is.
But we're not drawn into what is strictly relationship-worthy. What people say they want and think they want, deviates from what they gravitate toward. To some, it's negligible and pretty much the same. To others, it's pretty wide gap.
Looks are fine but without personality and character I am not interested.
Personality and/or character are fine, but without (adequate) looks, you're not interested.
The way a man walks and talks is what makes up the mix of attraction.
I agree -- that plays a big role if his looks pass the test for real consideration. And how he walks (carries himself visually) is visual and is a branch of looks. Also, the core of how he talks is pretty much the same as looks (sensory-based projection; more like fashion but part of him not 'on' him; not visual but still just as 'shallow' if one were to call something merely sensory based that). | |
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| what do you look for
Posted: 7/23/2012 8:45:24 AM | Nice smile, nice eyes, sense of humour-they have to make me laugh!- honest, gentleman.
I am also really attracted to musicians. | |
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