| | Can a relationship be too perfect?Page 2 of 2 (1, 2) | I won't date a man who claims his ex was a cheating, high maintenance woman with mental problems. You are putting all the blame on her, but yet you were so wraped up in yourself that you didn't even realize she was unhappy.
Sorry this happened to you, but you were just as much to blame. Don't hold your breath on the thought that she is going to come begging back, it just ain't going to happen, she kicked you to the curb. End of story, get over it & move on. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:01:45 AM | | Actually I would never claim my ex was anything. No reason to bring my past into a new relationship. Anybody who's been around her for more than 15 minutes knows she has some quirkiness. I've actually claimed that I like to date high maintenance because I'm a caregiver and I like to take care of the people I'm dating. I don't blame her for everything but when she is gone for 5 weeks then all of a sudden she doesn't want anything to do with me and doesn't even talk to me or give me a chance to work anything out then it's hard for me take blame on something I couldn't put my finger on or have a chance to make up for. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:07:22 AM |
Zoloft and other antidepressant will cause loss of sex drive and even interest in dating.
Anti-depressants almost ruined my friends marriage because of her loss of sex drive, thankfully she had a husband who researched what anti-depressants really are and what they do. They change the chemistry of the brain and can cause some negative hormonal reactions........which explains the loss of sex drive.
The better doctors are becoming more and more apprehensive about using them..........especially for women, due to their already up and down hormonal chemistry. My friend had to slowly ween herself off the anti-depressants and it took almost a full year, because coming off of them is just a roller-coaster of a ride. Rather than continuing with the anti-depressants, my friend went to a very good pshychologist who helped her talk through her issues that were causing the depression and she has been anti-depressant free for nearly 2 years.
When you ask your girlfriend what's wrong and she says, "I don't know".........it's probably true because anti-depressants also cause the "I don't care" syndrome, which causes people to simply go through the motions of living their life with very little enjoyment. A lot of the research done on anti-depressants is available on various internet sites.........there are even forums for people trying to get away from using the drug.
Good Luck OP............you sound like a wonderful person to me. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:21:20 AM | | Thanks. And yes I'm one of those guys too. If my girlfriend has something like PCOS or taking meds I look it up because I want to know about it. Actually I lost my girlfriend, job and car all in the same 3 days and I got to the point where I went into the ER because I needed help. They put me on pexil and atavin which I took for about 4 days. Then I started getting the side effects that all anti-depressants have like hard to orgasm, 0 hunger (I didn't eat for 3 days straight with no hunger pains) and everytime I yawned I felt like throwing up for a brief second then it was done. It was already happening to me days in so I stopped taking them before it got worse. I just wish I could make her see it because even if we can't be together this is going to happen to the next guy and the next until she is done with it. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:09:36 AM | Hegemon...........sounds like you have gone through a very difficult time. Some anti-depressants cause an imbalance of androgens in both males and females. Androgens are for the most part.....more of a male hormone than female, but both males and females have them. An imbalance of androgens will cause several unwanted side effects which include PCOS and loss of libido and others too numerous to mention here on the forums.
If you under trememdous emotional stress, it can affect your physical health as well.........see a medical doctor for your physical health, but see a mental health professional for your mental health and emotional well-being.
Personally, I would try to talk out my problems with a mental health professional before agreeing to take anti-depressants from a medical doctor.............but that's just me and my personal preference.
Everyone has stress in their life..........it's best to learn how to handle it at an early age and hopefully DRUG-FREE.
Once again, good luck and I hope you can mend your heart, your relationship and your physical and mental well-being. Hope you can get your car and job back as well, but if you can't get your job back........I'm sure another door of opportunity will open for you soon, and maybe for the better. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:26:43 PM |
I've actually claimed that I like to date high maintenance because I'm a caregiver and I like to take care of the people I'm dating.
Why?
Do you think someone with less drama wouldn't be interested in someone like you?
I think rather than taking pills to numb the pain this lifestyle you've chosen is causing, maybe work on trying to change your choice in women. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:36:07 PM | | How long was the relationship? Somehow it didnt seam as if you found common ground on how to communicate, it seams like you were not that long together? So maybe you were just in the honeymoon phase when this happened, which makes everything seam a lot brighter than it actually is. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 1:59:46 PM | To paraphrase a book I read:
A breakup isn't a democracy -- you don't vote if you break up or not. It isn't a negotiation. Someone makes a decision.
The why of a breakup, in the end doesn't matter, and it will probably hurt your feelings.
Be thankful she respected you enough to tell you -- most people just disappear. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 3:32:27 PM | | Hard to tell with not much to go on. But you seem nice and she sounds the sort that would want some bad boy action. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 7:31:29 PM | | yes, I don't think a loss of sex drive because of "" JJJ777.. I know I was at my best everytime and a "badboy" came around and she wanted to seek it.... it could be money, sex or shelter that she realized it was gone that made her want to talk, act and pretended to feel bad, said everything and did actions of wanting to fix the mistake.. just to get back into her comfort zone with me being used.. she would just do it again because of her odd behavior and medication can't fix lust at first sight!! | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 9:07:47 PM | Isvestia:
A breakup isn't a democracy -- you don't vote if you break up or not. It isn't a negotiation. Someone makes a decision.
The why of a breakup, in the end doesn't matter, and it will probably hurt your feelings.
Be thankful she respected you enough to tell you -- most people just disappear. Well said.
I too am wondering how long the relationship was?
Sometimes someone is 'great on paper' (antidepressants aside), but you just aren't feeling it as far as long term compatibility. And maybe (antidepressants in consideration) she just wasn't in a good place to be dating?
Either way it's over, spend some time healing and don't take this as a negative on you. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 10:19:05 PM | | No I'm pretty over it. I've had a lot of chances to talk with friends and family and of course all of you on here and I've come to the conclusion that I do deserve better and there is no point in being depressed and worrying about this stuff. I walked around downtown and went to the beach today. There is definitely more to life. Thanks all for the comments and considerations. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/16/2012 11:16:26 PM |
She is taking Zoloft because she is a music major in college and had debilitating stage fright and goreaphobia
Maybe add fear of commitment and loss of independence too... or perhaps she feared that eventually you would figure out just how crazy she is (or some other embarrassing detail like she owes money) and that you would leave her anyhow - - - so she dumped you before you could dump her? Maybe her emotions got the best of her because things were moving too fast? Didn't want to fall in love with someone and get hurt? Who knows?
Yes, an explanation for the behavior would be helpful. Personally, I couldn't take this as rejection per se or jump to the conclusion that she ran off with some other guy. I would be thinking "pretty messed up". If you did the best that you could to be a good partner to her, you should have no regrets. There are a lot of girls out there who want to be in a relationship and would be happy to find a decent man. | |
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| Can a relationship be too perfect?
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:48:13 AM | It's over. You are hoping it's 'the drug'. Remove the evil drug and all might return to normal.
No. Even if it could, you'd always be wondering and walking on eggshells so she doesn't leave again. Better to endure the agony of cold tutkey break up than a couple years of being togerther, pretending all is well while stuff is swirling in your head.
Only one cure for your pain....another woman . | |
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