| | dating over 30Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | Sorry to say it but physical attraction is an instinctual thing. You don't get to pick it, it just happens and height is part of the equation. It just is what it is. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:27:03 PM | One thing I wanted to clarify about my original post: obviously men's preferences change as they age, too, but they don't have a biological clock issue or have anywhere near as much concern about what's going to happen to their genes, apparently. That said, though men may not have to worry about running out of baby juice until their 70s, most simply don't want to have children after a certain age, because who wants to be an old dad? The typical man just seems to have more of a "if I have children, I have children, if I don't, I don't" attitude than the typical woman does, so it just really doesn't factor that much into what they're looking for by their 30s.
And on a related note, I also agree with what Mr. Fication said. Although to be fair... women who aren't born beautiful aren't much better off than men who turn out to be short. So what are those women going to do when they can't check off the only checkbox that matters for them? There's an argument for men that you could get 5 of 6 checkboxes and still be in good shape.
"POF (and all dating sites for that matter) just amplifies these expectations... because we always think we'll find someone better, someone closer to our ideal fantasy... just one mouse-click away. We can custom order whatever we want like a Big Mac at a McDonald's drive-thu."
That's definitely true. In theory, online dating gives you many more options than in real life. In reality... online dating gives your OPTIONS many more OPTIONS than in real life, so it's questionable as to just how much that "advantage" of online dating is helping you.
"No different than men who say a women must be a size 0 or 2."
One difference is, there is an entire porn subgenre built around a significant number of men's preferences for overweight women. There is no such female equivalent for short men. Now whether you want those guys that prefer overweight women is another story -- that's really not much different from me not wanting anything to do with the EXTREMELY tiny amount of women who prefer short men. But I'm just saying, supposedly overweight women get much more love from men than short men do from women. Another notable difference is, as you've proven, it is quite possible to get your weight down to something more men can appreciate, sometimes without any cost whatsoever (if anything, saving cost from eating less food). Whereas for a short man to become a woman's ideal, he will have to come up with about $100k... which if he just had lying around anyway, he probably wouldn't need that leg-lengthening surgery.
"often seem to overcompensate in lifestyle and attitude"
I somehow managed to get all the way through high school without thinking my height would be a problem with dating (I was too distracted by the constant rain of racism that was being poured on me), so I never really developed much of an "attitude." But like most guys of all size at that age, I figured chicks liked muscles and it certainly couldn't hurt to have them, so became a competitive powerlifter, and a very successful one at that. I was rather surprised to discover in college that women thought I was "overcompensating" for my height by working out and being muscular. Exactly the same thing all the 6 foot guys in the gym were doing, none of whom were accused of "overcompensating" for anything.
Eventually I realized it was a no win situation, and ultimately it didn't matter: no woman has ever dated me because I was muscular (most of the women that I dated didn't even realize I was muscular until after we were dating) and I got seriously injured on my way to a world record and wasn't able to compete or stay in powerlifting shape after that, so the muscles mostly went away. But basically if I do exactly the same thing a guy a foot taller than me does, he's tough/cool/dreamy, and I am "overcompensating" at best and a "freak" at worst. This is not to say I haven't met a few shorter men who seemed a little over the top in everything they did... but I've also met a whole lot of taller men who were exactly the same way! Me, personally, take away the powerlifting career and the acdemic success and I'm pretty much nothing, and as anyone can tell you who's met me, extremely quiet and reserved. I almost never debate anything with anybody in real life. I really only do that in POF forums!
Really, had I known in my high school/college years what I know now, I would have pursued a career almost guaranteed to make me rich, because that's pretty much the only thing that will make up for your height in the eyes of many women. Instead... I chose to follow my dreams, which ultimately could make me rich, but the likelihood was always much lower.
"Tall = able to reach things that I can't..."
Uh... why can't you just do what I do and step on something? I assumed you were looking for a boyfriend/husband, not a household appliance.
And as for all this talk about safety, I don't know why you keep wanting to bring height to a gunfight. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 8:49:22 PM |
"Tall = able to reach things that I can't..."
Uh... why can't you just do what I do and step on something? I assumed you were looking for a boyfriend/husband, not a household appliance.
And as for all this talk about safety, I don't know why you keep wanting to bring height to a gunfight.
...that was in reply to Domo, and her belief that tall somehow equated to safety.
Personally,
I have no issue with height,
and have dated guys that were 5ft 6 --
(same height as I am and would date guys shorter than I am if there was a mutual attraction)
--and I don't equate height with safety. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 9:17:25 PM | | If you read what I said which you probably didnt I have dated guys 5'5 or 5'6. Height isnt a huge factor for me but some women may feel safe with taller men hence the attraction. It was a guess | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/17/2012 11:46:36 PM |
Does this change when the woman turns 40, 50, 60, etc ? does it ever go back down to say ... 5' 8" or so ? ;-) Answers to these questions would be helpful :-)
I can say authoritatively that height requirements continue to grow until a woman is 75. Women of 75 years can only date men who are over seven feet tall.
NBA players are very popular in this age bracket. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/18/2012 12:44:10 AM | | I'm pretty easy with my standards; 5'9 to 5'11 (she can't be taller than me without heels) and 125-135 (a little extra is fine, ladies, more to love...) | |
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98887
| | Joined: 8/20/2011
Msg: 32 | |
| dating over 30
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:37:02 PM | | I think some people just get hung up on specific things. I honestly look for the person inside of the package whether he be tall, short, weigh a little more, be of a different race, or currently in a wheel chair. I will admit that there does need to be a physical attraction of some kind but who you are can make you sooo much more attractive or less attractive to me. In the end those who won't give you a shot because they are hung up on height will never know what they've passed up. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 7/27/2012 5:43:16 PM | | I still think our generation is mostly dumb, genx is there superficial and vapid became the norm. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:22:14 PM | Dude, I have never heard of this obsurd height nonsense until I started reading these online dating site female profiles. Height does not determine who she will be attracted to, unless that's really what turns her on. In most cases, I think that type of woman is just trying to diminish a short guy's manhood.
My point is: Most short guys I have seen in my life (i'm in my 40s) have taller attractive women (who they mutually love each other). And most of those guys were poor or middle class.
And most of the tall guys I have seen have shorter women who tend to wander with their eyes. I would know. I still catch them looking and checking me or other guys out.
You need to instill confidence in yourself (if you don't have any or much of it), then attempt to meet any woman who interests you. If she's not interested, move on. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:09:29 PM | For this dating over 30 thing, what is it women these days want to even start talking? I've been on three sites, contacted close to 75 women, and have only gotten literally a handful of replies. Is the online scene becoming like the bar/club scene where a man really has to stand out to such an extreme due to women having to be overly guarded against this, that, and the other or do I just suck at life?
To those who say I suck at life bite me. ;) | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 12:48:05 AM | | Avoid women with "lists." They live in a fantasy world expecting you to have all of said requirements. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 1:04:45 PM |
height requirements continue to grow until a woman is 75. Women of 75 years can only date men who are over seven feet tall.
That certainly explains why so few date :-) | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 2:20:02 PM | | Ah, online dating over 30. It's no picnic. It's more of a hobo luncheon really. I often wonder if anyone knows what they actually want, or if they merely think that they do. Online dating presents too many options at the same time. People start creating lists of what they want in order to narrow their scope. Having had too many a bad experience in their younger years, we modify our lists to describe the perfect partner. And with SO many options, that person is bound to be out there. Knowing that, we start to think that anything less is simply settling - reinforced by the fact that everyone tells everyone else to NEVER settle for anything. There are profiles out there with posters demanding things of potential emailer that they themselves don't possess - because they don't want to settle for less. In reality everyone ends up settling in some form or another. There is no perfect person for anyone. A potential mate will always have some kind of aspect that their partner will find less than stellar, but in the end they are willing to over look that/those in favor of good qualities. Now a picture of someone in a pair of sunglasses and a hat can lead to an instant delete, regardless of the contents of the email. Oh well. It can't get any worse in our 40s right? Oh wait.......... | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/7/2012 5:54:37 PM | | Honestly, I prefer short men. Oddly enough, they are rare to find. I'm just under 5*3 so tall guys are a pain in the neck...literally. lol | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/8/2012 2:03:26 PM | | Being 5'8 and a little muscular, I do try to date someone taller than me mostly because I don't want to be the 'bigger' of the two of us. Guys my own height tend to be smaller than me and I admit it makes me feel awkward, like I'm a guy. I want to be the girl. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:20:21 AM | Here's a fantastic article about dating over 30:
http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/the-dating-evolution.html
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/15/2012 9:25:58 PM | Heh...believe it or not I have been rejected by women because I own a truck as a daily driver.
We are all entitled to our preferences though and with patience eventually the one who accepts us where we are and we where they are will come along.
Philosophy class over lol. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/16/2012 10:45:18 AM | On here, I always looked for over 6ft... in real life, that was never a requirement.
I know it doesn't make sense, but for some reason having that option right there and many to choose from just makes over looking someone shorter too easy. It isn't personal at all. But that's the problem.
Attraction is based on how someone is in real life, not a list of statistics and a 2-dimensional photo.
My current BF is only about 5-7, maybe 5-8 (I'm not sure) and we've lived together for a year. I never would have picked him from a profile, so I'm glad I met him in person first. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/17/2012 7:27:46 AM | In other words, unless equipped with a PhD in Psychology, less clever guys like me have Zero chance of figuring out women and what really goes on inside that brain of theirs :)
I have been blasting out emails and leaving caution to the wind. Whoever likes me, likes me. Whoever doesnt, doesnt.
Wait a minute, I havent gotten any dates yet here....and four replies to the Bazillion emails I've sent. Guess I should start a thread to ask everyone wants wrong with me?
(hee hee).
M | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/17/2012 11:06:27 AM | | I agree, I ask that a guy is at least 5'11.. i have back issues and bending to kiss a guy or to even hold their hand while walking really puts the strain in the relationship.. it's nice to be able to be with somoene and see eye to eye at least one moment in our lives..lol | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/17/2012 6:27:03 PM | | We all have our preferences. If you're not picky, you're one of the few. I bet there's a weight threshold you're not willing to cross in regard to the women you date. If so, that's no different than a woman having a height requirement in her potential man. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/17/2012 6:33:31 PM | | As long as a man is 5'6 or over I dont really care too much about height. Alot of people these days are dellusional with what they insist they have to have. But than again you cant help it if you arent attracted to someone | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/23/2012 3:07:50 PM | | gotta be taller for me, definatly | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/23/2012 5:54:07 PM | | Hopefully I don't sound superficial for this, but I prefer guys over 6' for the simple fact that I'm 6' myself. I mean I've dated guys shorter than that, but not tooooo much shorter than 5'9" or so. I guess since I'm already an amazon, I feel the need to have a guy that's bigger than me to avoid feeling like the "guy" in the relationship. | |
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| dating over 30
Posted: 8/23/2012 10:51:01 PM | | Ok..ok...ok....look! Height is a factor...sorry it just is. Anyone who says "looks are not a factor" is smoking crack. See, it is all about preferences and thats exactly what they are. What do u "prefer"?? I'm 5'8" and for some reason taller women love me....its because they feel dominant standing over me. Hell they even open doors for me, pull my chair out for me at the dinner table, walk me to my car, buy me flowers and chocolates...... | |
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