| | Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!Page 4 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | I was in a similar situation. It didn't work out, because we went into a relationship from being 'friends with benefits'. We both slept with other people before being in a relationship and knowing how easy it is to sleep with others and never having your partner know about it is a scary thing and leaves you wondering if they will revert back to their own ways. If you have and doubts or jealousy, they will keep growing and it will never work out. Trust is key. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/18/2012 10:05:48 PM | | im sorry but no, you need to be done with this. do research on hpv for one, then do research on sex addicition and substance abuse, and quite possibly the comorbidity of mental health disorders. she needs treatment that honestly you cant provide her. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 78 | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/18/2012 11:21:23 PM | | God damn....... This girl cray ! Id dump her ass just for all the lying she did to u and u find all this bull out a year later? . She gives woman a bad name. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/19/2012 12:12:38 PM | | She told you that she's promiscuous and you also know she's disease infected. So at this point you have only 2 options. Either accept that she's a "sweet, thoughtful" slut or dump her. Trying to resist the reality of this information and being unable to "wrap your heart and mind around it" is just living in denial. Clearly you are struggling with accepting that the image you had of her in your mind does not match reality, so probably the decision of dumping her will be the best in the long run. With your next partner, discuss sexual history very clearly before engaging in unprotected sex. Also, you should know that if you have a one night stand with a woman (despite her becoming your gf after) you can be 100% sure there is probably a loooong string of guys who had their way with her before you. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/19/2012 9:45:38 PM | | i can't stand so called man like this you are a little biach can't stand for your self want others to feel sorry for you and want to change her. please stop bs and go tell her you want to be her cuck and go watch her have sex with other man because to me it looks like it excites you that she had sex with other man | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:02:11 AM | | i'm sorry but how can you allow yourself to get into this mess...? if you knew you had STI, you should've left the girl right after instead of having sex with her constantly. i have no sympathy here.. sorry | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/20/2012 10:13:01 AM | | man your health is more important than so called love,,,ur ASKING to get something more SERIOUS..common sense leave her alone.theres plenty of nice woman on POF good luck. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 7/20/2012 2:21:58 PM | The answer to me seems simple. It seems that you know the answer already, yet you don't want to accept it.
As others stated, you are in a relationship with someone who was promiscuous, gave you STDs, lied to you, and slept with several men after you met.
Is that someone you want to be with? You don't seem to be okay with those things. I say you call it quits asap and move on.
Personally, I wouldn't date someone with a history like that. You keep saying she is a sweet girl. Are her actions that of a sweet girl?
Unless you think you will otherwise be lonely forever without her (trust me, you won't be lonely forever), then I can honestly see no reason for you to stay with her. It will eat you up inside, and it is not someone you want to marry. It sounds like you are getting the leftovers of countless other men (none of whom seemed interested in a real relationship with her). Let her live with her mistakes, and move on from yours. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 6:53:22 AM |
The number of partners that she has had doesn't bother me .....Well it should bother you.
Lies and recklessness come hand in hand with multiple partner's.
From just one std carrier follow's many many more. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:05:29 AM | Seems like your girlfriend doesn't give you important information until she is basically confronted.
That was my last relationship, and the trust issues will only grow worse in it.
Put it this way, if she has nothing to hide, she would be open about who she is as a person.
The fact she hides so much, means there likely is far more that she is hiding from you, that you really don't want to know.
She's not wife or long term material. You're a glutton for punishment in telling yourself otherwise. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 2:30:58 PM | OP - what is it exactly about this chick that you love ?
do you have trouble getting laid much on a regular basis (prior to her) ??
seems you are one of them guys who doesn't get laid too much, and you stepped into a thing with a girl who gave it up easily to you ...
and that stroked your ego.... "Oh I am the MAN!!!"" finally I am getting laid...she is soo hot...
if that is the case... you aren't in love with her - you are just happy to be getting regular sex... | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 4:29:29 PM | | look, she's not american, so i think you are dealing with some cultural differences here, i.e., sexual attitude. personally, i really hate the whole double standard thing, but not practicing safe sex, making out with girls while in a relationship with you, i'd say that this is beyond the double standard. it doesn't sound to me like her past is really the issue here, i'd say it is the giant chasm between your values and hers, and her oh-so-very present sexual behavior that is the real problem. i honestly don't think you have a common core values. i do have to ask you one question, however. if she was a man and had slept with over 50 women, would you look at it in the same way? also, i have to comment about having a relationship with someone with whom you've had sex on the first night, etc.. there is nothing wrong with it. if it was okay for YOU to do it, then it should be FINE for her to do it. if a woman is really into a man she is going to want him, she is going to have strong desire for him, so to act like a woman is some kind of slut because she's had sex "too soon" is basically making the woman the arbiter of morality. if you can do and it's fine, then don't judge a woman for doing the very same thing that YOU"VE done. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 4:32:10 PM | trying man
there is no such thing as a ho, unless you are talking about an actual prostitute. and i beg to differ with your comment, btw. do you know how many married men are on this site because their wives don't satisfy their sexual needs? why you men marry the girl the next door then turn around and complain that your sex life is less than gratifying is beyond me. why don't you stop judging women for liking sex, wanting sex, and being good at sex. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:10:27 PM |
why don't you stop judging women for liking sex, wanting sex, and being good at sex.
I completely, utterly, totally agree.
And what a ridiculous statement about turning ‘hos’ into ‘housewives.’ Just….. NO.  | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 5:37:26 PM | larissan: thats why the perfect woman to a man is a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.
we dont have a problem with a woman that likes, wants, or is good at sex, quite the contrary. many men just dont want to settle down with a girl that has a vast sexual history. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:02:35 PM | | Wow, First, you know you cant trust her. There are gonna be nights, she wants to go out with friends. She will be drinking. What would you be thinking, while she is out? Do you want to spend the rest of your life, like that? You said. something about "warts". Do they go away? How do you tell your next girlfriend about all this? You would have to be honest and tell her. I wish you the best. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:43:15 PM |
it doesn't sound to me like her past is really the issue here, i'd say it is the giant chasm between your values and hers, and her oh-so-very present sexual behavior that is the real problem. i honestly don't think you have a common core values.
Good point. Two people have to be on the same page for things to work. If core values are different you're on shaky ground. This was one of the first things I looked for when I was dating.
i do have to ask you one question, however. if she was a man and had slept with over 50 women, would you look at it in the same way? also, i have to comment about having a relationship with someone with whom you've had sex on the first night, etc.. there is nothing wrong with it. if it was okay for YOU to do it, then it should be FINE for her to do it.
Another good point. The old double standard. I never had a problem with my respect for any woman I slept with on the first date, or indeed if it was only a one night stand. I valued them as people who made up their own mind about things like who they slept with and under what circumstances, just as they valued me.
if a woman is really into a man she is going to want him, she is going to have strong desire for him, so to act like a woman is some kind of slut because she's had sex "too soon" is basically making the woman the arbiter of morality. if you can do and it's fine, then don't judge a woman for doing the very same thing that YOU"VE done.
The women I've known would not even give the time of day to blokes who bought into the old 'There's women I sleep with, and women I marry' crap. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:58:36 PM |
we dont have a problem with a woman that likes, wants, or is good at sex, quite the contrary. many men just dont want to settle down with a girl that has a vast sexual history.
NO correlation between a sexually healthy woman and a ‘ho.’ (Msg. 98, where her comment originated.)
“We” may have a problem with men who make rash unfounded judgments.
Should we consider these men insecure uptight paranoids? Or would that be a rash unfounded judgment. | |
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