| | Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!Page 6 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | A couple weeks later I noticed something a bit odd.
As a woman... this is the point in the story where I would have ended my association with this lady. I wouldn't have been able to stick around as long as you did. Personally,I don't care how great the sex is, how attractive, or if they have a sweet personality --- make all of the excuses you want ---- it isn't worth risking your health. I don't understand why you would stay with someone who lies to you. Staying only makes it more difficult for you to find a GREAT partner who treats you well. Is this really the best you can do? Do the benefits of knowing her really outweigh the risks?
I am the first guy that saw something special in her to stick around
Personally, I wouldn't feel that way at all. You saw that she was good in bed. I'm sure others realized that too. What? Is she super ugly that NOBODY would find her attractive? Or, want to be with her? It is more likely that you are the first person "DUMB" enough to stick around and fall in love with her. You're in a one-sided FWB relationship. You've built up a fantasy about saving her and building some sort of relationship with her and you think at some point she is going to really appreciate all you've done for her. In your mind, you want to believe that you are more than the average club hook-up because you called her for round two. I dont know about that. After all the lies, why would you believe you're the first? Meanwhile, she's out having a good time without you, cheats on you, and has no respect or consideration towards you. Actions speak louder than words.
Since you feel more comfortable in a FWB arrangement because the women who do this expect less out of you than the ones who want to be in a real relationship. . . . you probably should find another friend who doesn't sleep around as much. HOWEVER, since you've already been exposed to so much disease and HPV, I think you two should absolutely 100%stay together. No sense in hurting anybody else. It would be bad karma. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/6/2012 5:36:25 PM | | Hamilton: i never actually called any posters a "ho" in this thread so i dont see any reason i should be apologizing. also, i dont see as how its disrespectful to all women when/if you call one of them a ho. that would be like me getting upset if you called some other guy a jerk. it has nothing to do with me. also, there have always been derogatory terms used for a woman that sleeps around. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/6/2012 5:57:02 PM | Nothing wrong with liking sex nothing wrong with being good at it cause everybody should. That doesnt make a girl a ho
being promiscuous with everybody. Than BSing about it till caught. Possibly
spreading stds to many people. This behaviour makes you a ho. the only difference between this kind of ho and a prostitute is the income. Men can be hos to.
but my statement stands
cant make a ho into a housewife. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/6/2012 5:58:25 PM | You want honest? I will give you honest. A woman wouldn't accept this kind of behavior in a man.
What really concerns me though, is the fact that you see a future with this girl, when you said she comes from a country that believes in arranged marriages. Seems to me there really isn't a future with this girl, if she is already promised to someone else by her parents. Sorry, I didn't read all that you wrote in the beginning of your forum, as soon I read that she was from a country that still believes in arranged marriages, it kind of made me wonder why you would want to keep seeing her. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/7/2012 2:23:32 PM | | Why are you even posting this? Why dont you read over all the stuff you just put up and decide if your settling or if you really have no friends to tell you RUN!!!!!! Everyone has a past but if the lies keep coming then your the one setting yourself up for a heartbreak.... | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/7/2012 2:54:19 PM | Wow! "Sweet Sixteen and never Been Missed...."!
Look, you had some fun now place her in the correct context. Keep your head and your heart about you.
Just like a fast car, a boat, an oceanfront condo, you rent this one. You do not buy it. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/7/2012 3:29:04 PM | People treat us the way we allow them to ...
my question to you is why you think that you only deserve a partner who cares so little about you and your health?
Go get some counselling. Look up for a free telephone help line. Or search and read on the internet.
Some people who have tramatic childhood use sex as escapism from within themselves, the self hatred and screw around all the time. My father did this to my step mother because he never dealt with my mother's death or his alcholic mother.
I'm sorry, I've been there and loved someone who lied and cheated and put my health at risk ... it sucks and I am alone by choice because anything is better than being with someone who cares so little about my life, someone that I can never trust ... it eats a person up inside .. it's pure poison ...
good luck ... | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/7/2012 8:38:04 PM | | RUN!!!! RUN as fast as you can away from this girl!!! She is not only sleeping with you but with others and bringing back there diseases to you and you know this!!...Get some wits about you and pull up your big boy pants and move on!!! I dont believe your in love, but you are in lust. She does not sound like the kind of girl you can take home to meet the folks. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/8/2012 5:36:53 PM | There are a couple of issues in the OP that are problematic. The first is that the girl admitted to cheating, and I'm not sure I'd want to continue that relationship. The other is that you both should have been practicing safer sex.
Okay...so apart from that, the girl has had a wild past, and she didn't "tell all" right away. I have definitely had more partners than most women (and men) I know, but that is mainly due to a promiscuous period in my life when I was very young ( age 14-22). I got married and 22 and had one sex partner for almost 20 years, and only 2 since my marriage broke up. Anyway, the point I want to make is that in a perfect world, women would not be judged and/or called names because their choice of partners; however, they are judged for this ALL the time. I never cheated, I never knowingly had sex with a mam who wasn't single, AND, I was careful. Therefore, in my estimation, my behavior hurt nobody! So why others feel compelled to judge me because of it, I will not ever really understand. Having said that, the way that men and women react to my "number" makes is kind of hard to talk about it. If asked, I won't lie, and I won't stick with someone who makes me feel bad about something that can't be changed, but I will say it is hard, very hard, to bring the topic up, especially with someone I like. I own the choices, and I'm not saying that anyone has to be okay with it, but maybe there would be more honesty if there was a bit less judgement around the subject. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/8/2012 6:42:47 PM | Then, the real nail in the coffin is when she said she was with 2 other guys after we met..... I stopped reading after this part! Forget the advice of anyone here on past relationships that's to late for that. You have slept with her and all her one night stands and now you have the consequence " down there' to pay for it.
Walk away from her and seek professional help. Your life has totally changed now and not something to be taken so lightly. Choose the behavior choose the consequence. Live and learn. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/8/2012 8:02:30 PM | Really liked how the Op is trying to come off as someone else had said "the knight in shining armour" but really he is no better than his "girlfriend"
He goes on and on how she cheated on him when they were fwb's and how she is lying to him but doesnt think for one second that he is lying to her too. he states that he doesnt want to marry her THEN WHY LEAD HER ON??? I think they deserve each other | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:15:42 PM | | Look at things from the big picture... this woman has admitted to you things from her past that most other women will choose not to. You were not officially committed when the incidents that you spoke of happened. Why is it her past and not yours, as other people have pointed out. If you don't think enough of a person to have sex with them, you have no business being with them. It's your choice. If you are in love with her; like , really in love with her, fine. If you want to be a rescuer, well, I don't know. You can see what happens. I just don't understand that if you are actively sexual with a person, you don't think enough of them to not post her past on the freaking internet. She told you thest things with trust. Are you afraid that she has cheated on you since the commitment was made? Well, that answers itself. Otherwise, f*ck it. You've already had sex with her. You already have all you're gonna get if she has been faithful to you, which it (sort of) sounds like. Are you in love with her? Then you really have no choice then, do you? | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:30:59 PM | P.S. some women will go to great lengths just t.o be held. Where were you when these incidents happened? Everybody's life is different; everybody's story is different. I've heard a lot because I am a good listener and I've had a dancer as a room-mate before... she is in college now, and trying so hard to change.
What I am saying is that the past is the past. You have a past, too; as does everybody on earth. Damn! You were not in a committed relationship. Do you want to judge her? Do you want to shame her? What kind of a man are you? Your role, now that you are together, is to protect her reputation at all costs. Your role, now that you have committed yourself into a relationship with her, is to be a man. Is that so difficult? What the heck do you want? Has she been faithful since you have been committed? You're already there... it's your choice; break up or stay... but if you think that you are in love with this woman then you may wish to consider speaking highly of her in all situations regardless of the past. What does committed mean, anyway?
Shit or get off the ****ing pity pot.
Is she nice to you? I'll tell you what, that's quite a quality to find in a SO these days.
So whatever. | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:36:24 PM | | I think your story is probably more typical than happily ever after Marriage type stories. Dating today isn't really fun. I screen Men if they're interested in dating me. I ask how many partners. Values etc. I had a rude awakening when I was about 22. I had a very pretty female friend and I found out she basically slept with every guy she met. I lived with her and I remember she brought this one guy home and I could hear their conversation. He said, "he had only been with 4." She said nothing. I was thinking how stupid the guy was. It's funny when someone is attractive how stupid one becomes. I'm including myself in this. Attractive people can be tempting. That doesn't mean you should keep pursuing them because they'll destroy you! I confronted my female friend about her "dating" habits. I asked "how many?" She was only 20 yrs old and she said, "20 partners." Sad thing is that they weren't boyfriends/real relationships. She wasn't a very good friend either and our relationship ended. I'm personally exhausted meeting Men my age who've had so many partners, live ins, Marriages. Sick of it! | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/9/2012 9:54:15 PM | herekittykitty: ive noticed that the people who say not to judge others on their past, always have a really crappy past. thing is, we are what we do.
his role as her man is NOT to protect her reputation at all costs. ill happily protect the reputation of a woman who has a reputation to protect. you cant defend the honor of a lady who has no honor. a woman who is sleeping with other guys while shes sleeping with you and brings you home an std, is not a lady with any honor to protect.
heyderhay: great post! ive actually found that when i do compare sexual history with my female partners (something i dont ever do anymore) that theyve pretty much always been with more people than i have. | |
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ezmnow
| | Joined: 5/21/2012
Msg: 136 | |
| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/10/2012 2:45:36 AM | | Dump her now! I said now! Shes a lier and you can not trust her. She does not respect you, although she may like you,! I got into a girl simalar nut thank God did not get any Dieses (sp). Wasted more then a year of my time. or more. If you like yourself, dump her now! Be strong Be a man. Theres to many honest better women out here. Whay you setteling for her bull cr.p? | |
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| Girlfriend's wild past eating me alive, HELP!
Posted: 8/10/2012 5:07:59 AM | The entire FWB thing versus BF/GF is confusing to me. What are the rules; and are there different rules for men and women?
What I was trying to say, and somewhat failing, is that you have two choices.
1. Stay with her and do your best.
2. Leave.
Oh, there's one other thing you can do... leave her and find someone similar. | |
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