| | keeps creating new profiles to message mePage 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | | I can understand not wanting to meet a guy at his house. But when women say "I want to take it slow" in regards to meeting someone. You can't take it slow on a dating site. I've tried explaining this to some women. When you are constantly talking to people, if you don't meet them right away and get a connection going, you will soon forget them and start messaging someone else. Its very important to meet within a short time after first messaging. Taking it slow simply isn't reasonable on this sort of site. | |
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| keeps creating new profiles to message me
Posted: 7/20/2012 11:04:21 AM | thank you rogue :)
chrome,
Ah yeah I had that happen too: a guy wanted me to meet him at his house!! I told him no way!! That's dangerous, and look at the type of guy he turned out to be! Angry and nasty.. so it's a good thing you didn't go.
I see a lot of men complain that women don't answer their messages or whatever, and what they have to understand (not all but some men) is their messages will not be returned if he's not the girl's type, or he goes about it the wrong way. Maybe this is going off topic again, but I delete most of my messages simply because men live too far away (my profile states I am looking for someone in the area), men looking for hook-ups or casual dating (when my profile says long term relationship), they only write a "hi" (need to say more than that for me to respond! I know when I send out messages I write more than that and make it personal), they say something weird or sexual, they are physically unattractive (sorry!), etc. I feel like most men who message me either don't read my profile or don't care about what I am looking for, and then they complain when I don't answer. Like if I came across a guy's profile and it said "I only date brunettes" I am not going to message him! Oh, and I know some guys complain that they do have things in common with the woman and she didn't answer. Well, that's life. You can't make people like you. Everyone gets rejected. You move on and find someone who likes you for you and who is crazy about you! This site shouldn't be about sending out hundreds of generic messages and going on as many dates as possible. Quality over quantity. Take your time, and if you get rejected then leave that person alone and move on to the next. You don't *need* to force it and have dates and be in a relationship ASAP. Go with the flow and just realize it may take some time to find someone | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 9:22:38 PM | | That is very true. If I don't feel right about something, I am not gonna meet him at the drop of a hat. When I started talking to that guy, he sent me a message later in the day then wanted me to come over that night and I was going to be busy. I work 6 days a week and I am a single mom. I am looking for someone and I know some guys have patience so that's what I look for. I am not looking to rush into anything so if they can't accept that I can't meet them on the spur of the moment then I don't need them. | |
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Posted: 7/20/2012 10:18:41 PM | | I guess I must come across sweet, I had a girl invite me to her house for a first time meeting. Nothing ever happened, and it's good that i'm an awesome guy, but somebody could have taken advantage of her. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 10:30:11 AM | The message from I-am-rei is the best advice:
"There was an ongoing thread about what Dr. Phil said: If you do something repeatedly you are getting something out of that, a payback. However, in your case I would say: If you do something repeatedly and getting the same results that you didn't like then it's time to do something different.
Choices...you could choose to (1) block, (2) ignore or (3) laugh at the weirdness of some people. When you block him...he gets the attention, he won. When you send a message asking to stop, the same thing...he gets the attention, he won. When you report him...he gets the attention, he won. if you hide your profile, he won. The only harm that it will cause you is fill up your inbox. Why would you choose to get affected? What do you think is the best choice?"
Blocking him is not working and at this point its become a game to him. Just ignore him and dont put anything too personal on your profile. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 10:45:28 AM | bless your heart
I have had to do the same thing but the creep I had went away after I blocked him again then he created another profile to cuss me out and deleted his profile.
Ugh! some people are just crazy I agree with previous posters block him and report him. Its definitely not that he didnt "get the hint" he just doesnt respect your decision he's an a*ss and a creep.
dont respond to him.
now for the second part when guys message me and Im not interested I just ignore them(some people donot like the polite no thank you's I dont waste time with that) then if they message me again I block them that usually works.
Just know that the block button is your bff if they dont wanna accept your not interested block them dont allow them to get to the point of cussing you out do what you can to prevent that non sense.
some peoples egos get bruised but going out of the way to curse people out really shows their character something you dont wanna be associated with so block their a*sses :) | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 11:15:53 AM | ^^^^
Yes, I love that block button lol. It amazes me though how some people go through the hassle of wasting all that time messaging and harrassing a complete stranger, or going through the hassle of creating a new profile! | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 11:57:56 AM |
blueeyes2410
how can I be not interested if I don't even know him?
Well, I've got a good idea of what I'm looking for through my years of dating experience. I can tell by what is written in the profile and the way they write, the kinds of photos they have up, the first messages they send, but sometimes I'm not physically attracted to the person either :/
And sometimes their true colors show without even conversing with them. This one guy sent me a really sweet message, but I just wasn't attracted to him so I ignored it. He then sent me another message cursing me out and telling me I'm crazy for not responding to him and giving him a chance. Geez, well now that just makes me more glad I didn't respond! Some people weed themselves out lol. But I know you don't truly know what someone is like if you never conversed or met, but sometimes you can get a good idea!
see everything you just said there is all of what i have tried to explain at times along with saying sometimes you can judge a book by its cover an sometimes you dont have to meet in person to know it wont be a match or there will be no intrest..it also adds fuel when the person your talking/emailing with gives you a werid feeling that something just isnt right or how they answer questions or talk seems suspicious ..
ive also had my emails not answered or been rejected..
ive also had the same men even when you ignor them or say no thanks they either message back like twice a week or in some cases become angry an start name calling especially the ones who have sent overly sexually trashy messages in a first email those are the real hostile types when ignored or turned down for thier less then attractive appearance an offer..
i had a guy who made a snide comment about my race..then proceeded a week later to email an ask if i would be intrested in getting together with him...sometimes you gotta say dude WTF?? are you on?? | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 12:34:45 PM | hey blue-eyes, i just thought of something.... what if that creepy guy reads your posts?? he seems "stalker-ish" enough that i wouldn't put it past him. he probably stalks your facebook, unless you hide that. is he in your area??
this one woman i hooked up with, told me she went on a date to this guy's "house" but for some reason, when they were at his "house", he locked himself in the bathroom and didn't come out for almost an hour. and he also told her "were you followed?" he was paranoid. she basically left him there. turns out that wasn't his house but a friend's. weird.
plus this other woman i met told me about this one date she had. basically the guy just started pawing at her chest. WTF!?!? i mean, really...... i can understand why girls take their time in wanting to meet someone. i usually meet them at a Denny's or something. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 3:56:32 PM | | I would have told him I wasn't interested before I blocked him. Now you have an ongoing problem (and it's a game for him), and now the only way to stop this guy from contacting you is to tell him, stop it now. | |
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Posted: 7/21/2012 4:27:49 PM | | Dolphina - I am guessing that you have never had one of these contact you or you would know that telling them you are not interested does nothing but cause them to send another message telling you why you should be interested. Threatening to report them doesn't work, blocking them (which I think pretty strongly tells them you are not interested) doesn't work, can't really think of anything that does, so we just learn to ignore them and hope they never find us IRL. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 10:16:48 AM | | If you have any personal info about him and he has info about you this would be scary since he's harassing you. You could file harassment/stalking charges. But if he has no way to find the real you, just keep deleting him, no block, no reply. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 12:54:38 PM | I'm with the posters who say just don't even react to him. Don't read the emails, don't block, don't delete just IGNORE.
As to some of the other questions asked by other posters...
the OP seems to be a reasonbly intelligent human being. Why should she spend time arranging a meeting and meeting with a guy she is sure she's NOT interested in? PoF-or any other dating site, is not a damn vending machine for dates, and no-one who puts up a profile is required to respond to contact from people they aren't interested in.
To a couple of guys who seemed to be bragging about using "less attractive" women for sex...
if you are having trouble getting much response from women you message, it's my thinking that it isn't your picture that's the problem, it's your ATTITUDE.
Being born with a penis does not mean that the Universe OWES you sexual release at the expense of someone else's feelings. And to be completely fair/give equal time, I also get pretty pissed off at women who intentionally date men they wouldn't dream of having sex with, for purposes of free entertainment.
I realize that over the internet is a difficult method of connecting with potential objects of romantic interest-but if a woman or a man is fairly certain that they feel NO interest/attraction for someone who contacts them , dating just "give them a chance" is a waste of time and an unkindness(giving false hope).
Cindy O | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 12:59:10 PM | | filing stalking chargers cause he won't stop bothering you on a date site? Sorry, but nobody would ever do anything about that. You always have the option to stop coming here, right. nobody is forcing you to come here. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 4:05:24 PM | I agree. Little do the ugly fat women know, they are totally being used for sex. Lets see if any of these guys dare take you out in public. lol. Not a chance. The last thing these guys want is to be seen with a girl like that. They just want sex. While the girl thinks its going to be some great relationship.
Did you really have to go there? Shows how "small" some people's "heads" are. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 4:10:27 PM | If you never told him that you're not interested and purely relied on a block, he could actually be so stupid not understanding that. So if you've never told him -- TELL HIM that you're not interested and he's wasting his time trying to reach you. Don't go off on him, but don't say it with positives either. Make it firm. He'll leave it to rest.
Sorry for the rant, but why don't some guys get the hint :(
Well, being "cursed out" is better than an idiot who can't take less than a hint. If he's an idiot, merely blocking is less than a hint.
Just tell a guy you're not interested -- and THEN block them. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 4:22:50 PM | | When I send a message to a woman and she doesnt respond its a pretty clear NO to me lol I dont take it personal I just move on. Non verbal communication, I use it myself if I get a message from a woman I'm not interested in. Plus I would rather have a no response then a woman who is not interested yet keeps replying to my messages. Such a waste of both our time! | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 4:58:43 PM | | These discussions always get so heated.. but thank you all for your feedback, i see a mix of advice on what to do. I sure hope he doesn't contact me again, I don't think ill respond though, just keep blocking and try to contact pof next time. I know there are creeps on here, but tuere are creeps in real life so so you can't win. Oh well. I don't think he can find out any other info about me though. I hope not. I went on a date once and don't remember givibg the guy any personal info except my number, and yet months later he found me on Facebook? Eek, us women need to be careful on here | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 5:27:18 PM | | What he's doing is cyber stalking. You should report this to the police. One thing if you rejected him, he acts like a child,and you block him,to prevent him from contacting you. That should've been good enough. But by trying to get around the block by creating mutiple profiles and contacting you still is harassment. I'd report that stuff if i were you. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 5:30:28 PM | I do agree with the advice to just ignore and not block. The block is an action you have taken in response, and is giving him something. If you stop blocking, he gets nothing.
Hang in there. It will end eventually. | |
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Posted: 7/22/2012 9:19:07 PM | | I would message POF, they should be able to block his IP address. Most, not all, but most aren't smart enough to go through the trouble to get a new IP address. | |
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Posted: 7/23/2012 12:57:54 AM | | Same thing has happened to me. This guy is on his 4th or 5th profile and asks me the same exact question every time he creates a new one. Mentally sick... I am sure. I just keep blocking & never get surprised when I see a new profile name with same picture any longer! | |
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Posted: 7/23/2012 6:35:25 AM | steena,
yeah that's weird, how it's the same message every time? 4th or 5th profile? wow
The police won't do anything because I'm not being threatened. Police never take anything like this seriously, and it's not as extreme as real stalking where he shows up at my house. I guess I have to wait and see what happens and take it from there. I remember years ago I kept getting blocked calls, repeatedly over several months. I went to the police and they didn't want to help me. They told me to call the phone company. So I called the phone company and they didn't want to help me, so I had to change my number. But now they have ways to block restricted calls.
And if he reads this? Lol, well I know this forum isn't exactly anonymous because my picture is shown. It happened to me before, I posted about an ex in another thread and he sent me a text because he saw my post (and if he happens to read this too you're "sorry" wasn't good enough, all this crap about wanting to get back together just to disappear and now on dating site? ya bye). Lol oh well, I'm very opinionated and when I need to talk and vent I need to talk and vent, I couldn't care if they read it or not. Or maybe it's good that they read it, they see how I really feel and can understand me better, without direct confrontation. I actually don't post on this forum much since it's not anonymous, I go elsewhere on this other forum. But yeah I guess it would be weird if he reads this.. oh well | |
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Posted: 7/23/2012 7:45:11 AM | | Police will not act nor should they. People threaten other people all the time. You cut someone off in traffic, people might threaten you. You take a parking spot that someone else wanted, they might threaten you. It has to be a viable threat. Which means, does this person truly mean you harm, or is that person just blowing off steam cause he's angry. Very tough to prove intent. Someone might say, stop coming to this site if you're worried about him stalking you. Nobody is holding a gun to your head, making you come here. Not everyone is going to be friendly, but that doesn't mean he's breaking any laws. If he is contacting you, via email. phone calls, coming to your house, uninvited. Showing up at your work. Then you could have a case of stalking. But simple internet contact will be a very very tough case to prove stalking. If his messages were violent and threatening in nature, that would be easier to prove, but if they aren't threatening, then what law has he broken? | |
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