| | Guy's are more emotional than we thinkPage 2 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) |
Maybe as a result, I tend to attract men who ordinarily don't open up emotionally, but somehow feel safe enough to do so with me? I'm not entirely sure why, but I do feel grateful. I always feel so honored to have been given such a glimpse into who a man is right down to his core.
If said man opens up to you? I think you should indeed feel gratefull; means he trust you enough to think you won`t hurt him.
But it has a double edge side; DONT hurt him. Not because something nuts might happen, but it can have serious repercussions. Sometimes, I like to think that emotionnally speaking, I`m either like a baby, or a very old person; everything is on the surface, and everything is DEEP. Someone I trust completely who cheats on me, for instance....listen, its been 4 years for me. And although I dont hate women in general...I have a very hard time getting close. Or even approaching someone. Granted I dont look as hot as I was a couple years ago, butI`d still get approached on the street. I just didnt DO anything, even when intentions were obvious. I jsut couldnt bring myself to it. That`s one of the consequences.
So someone who doesnt open up, opens up to you, yes, I do think its something precious. But be very carefull with it, however. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:00:41 PM | @Capn its a defense mechanism thats useful, when you have learned in the past not to trust anyone but youself for 100%. The pandoras box thingy is a good way to describe it. Everyone has their own little demons, as long as you are aware of them, they cant harm you.
Through that the patterns of thinking change, situations sometimes for me, i automatically make a risk analysis of possibilities whats gonna happen. All this gets done automatically. Yes i am weird! LOL
Back to thread i do think that men and women have the same emotional abilities, but behavior differs on how this is shown. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:03:58 PM | "Guy's mostly like to portray the tough guy image...it's important to them"
It's actually probably more important to women men act like this. Women do not like effeminate men, and everyone knows it. So yes, it does effect the way men act, especially in front of women.
.. and I get so tired of these blanket labels or broad strokes. There's no one rule for anything, or any one side. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:05:48 PM |
BUT most men cry thru their penis...
Coming from a man, you are DAMN right.
Bad day at work....need sex
Bad day in general...need sex
Broke up with girl....need sex
Someone died....need sex
Feels good when I cry. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:06:04 PM |
and I get so tired of these blanket labels or broad strokes. There's no one rule for anything, or any one side.
So very true as well. Something a lot of people seems to often enough forget. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:14:08 PM |
If said man opens up to you? I think you should indeed feel gratefull; means he trust you enough to think you won`t hurt him. But it has a double edge side; DONT hurt him. It isn't just one man, it's many. And it isn't always in a romantic capacity, although it has evolved to that in the past. Why would I hurt someone who has opened up to me? As I said, I see it as an honor, something practically sacred. Nor are they opening up in a vacuum, I tend to reciprocate (and am often the first to open/disclose now that I'm thinking about it).. which I'm guessing is part of why they tend to feel safe.
Anyway, this topic got me all contemplative. I've known it at the back of my mind but haven't really organized my thoughts like this. I know now why I feel so flat and bored in certain connections with men. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 3:14:58 PM | @pheonixmamma
You reminded me of something. When I lived in Cameroon, Africa, my husband would walk with his friends and they would have their fingers linked. (and no he wasn't secretly gay lol) | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 4:07:26 PM | | While I agree with the statement that generally woman cry mor easily than men, my personal experience with my kids is the exact opposite. My son cries when he is upset, nervous, happy etc. I could hear him crying when he called to tell me "she said yes!!!" His fiancee said that it made her love him all the more. My daughter, on the other hand, hates to cry or show any intense emotion around others. She just withdraws inside, like a man, gets quiet and tries to retreat. IF a movie is going to make her cry, she will get up and leave! It has always been strange dealing with the pair of them! | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 4:37:22 PM | Re: msg 19. Do women like to receive advice rather than empathy and support when they have a problem? hmm. Ladies?
Perhaps...just Not necessarily from US.
Many times, a listening ear, a strong shoulder and a clever diversion (say an impromptu night of fine dining or a trip to the salon on you) is usually the sweet spot for a man to remain in when a woman becomes emotional and trusts you enough to open up about her feelings.
Trying to go all Dr. Phil on her may produce the opposite result (besides, that is what she has girlfriends for). A woman may not necessarily need you to SOLVE the problem, but rather share in a little of her misery. Flash emotions play out on their own if given time to run their course. Trying to solve them before that time can often prolong them. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/20/2012 9:45:23 PM | | Simple, it is as different as estrogen & testoserone.. yes both have an emotions, ytes both cry, laugh, have contemplative thoughts, hearts broken, & men love just as deeply as women, but they're desplayed in different avenues, contexts, & situations....to ask a woman to think like a man & vice versa is like asking estrogen to produce the muscular size & stamina that testosterone does... or testerone to produce the emotions or monthly cycle estrogen does lol....men & women are different,, both have strengths & weaknesses, but when those two can come together to be one, trust & love one another with each others heart... that is when we become "whole" in each other... | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 2:32:59 AM | | I see a whole lot of younger men bawling their heads off these days, almost always because their bytches are being mean to them. Makes me want to puke. I cry when it's time to cry, funerals for a child, teens who die tragic deaths, victims of crimes etc. I have to be careful about the movies I see when on a date, I might cry. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 5:53:30 AM |
Is it because a woman is more open to her feeling's and a man feel's he must suffer in silence
Nothing to do with men being "open" to their feelings,but more so, as most have stated, society's acceptance of men "showing" their feelings. We have no problem with letting women act like biatches for a week a month,but, as soon as some men decide to let their emotions come to the top, they are looked at in a funny kind of way. We,as males, are "suppose" to keep our emotions in check. We are suppose to be the doers,the thinkers, not the emotional beings that all of us are.
Emotions are not soley based on your gender. A lot believe women are "emotional beings",but really, they just have the free ticket to "show" those emotions. And women,by and large, love the "strong and solid" type in a male. Sure there are those that love it when a man actually opens up to her,but many have very little experince in that happening to them. If you are an open person yourself, you have a better chance of it happening with a guy.
I have no problem with people "opening up" to me,either gender. I believe it's because I usually speak from the heart myself and people will pick up on it. A tear can and will well up in the duct while speaking to a person about something that has caused hurt,pain or whatever. I will "feel" for that person, though, reading some of my posts here would give the people the impression that I am just an grumpy old soul. I just usually say and do what I "feel" should be done at that time. And crying does have it's place every so often.As does an a s s kicking. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 6:04:13 AM | Don't be confused, for even a moment, because I am an emotional and passionate soul who does not hide his emotions and is not afraid to express how he feels, that I am weak in any way.
I am probably one of the strongest people one will ever meet. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 7:00:27 AM | Of course most guys feel and have emotions.
Guys are supposed to project strength and control. As guys we attract women by our ability to get things done and protect/provide and be a stable rock.
Granted most women don't want a guy that shows no emotion but would a woman want a guy who cries at the drop of a hat? It would get a little old after a while. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 7:17:53 AM |
You haven't met someone with Asperger's traits have you
My son (Who is almost 12) suffer's from Asperger's so I can understand what you mean. He is extremely emotional, tries not to cry but does make it obvious when he is upset over something, so much so that he cannot rest until the situation has been rectified.
So many good point's brought up here, goes to show we are all human and deal with thing's differently.
Because some of our father's have experienced war time where they were told to stand up and be men at just 18 year's of age, I guess they brought the same thing upon their son's.
Thank heaven's things are changing and men CAN cry without the 'shame on you' tag hanging over their head's.
So c'mon guy's group cry! | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 12:28:18 PM |
So c'mon guy's group cry!
Ya do know there is more than just sadness on this emotion list right???? So if I'm "allowed" to cry, I'm also "allowed" to do a whole lot of other things that are relative to those "other" emotions. Careful what you wish for but, thanks for giving us guys the okay to cry!!!! ;) | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 12:29:50 PM | | I dated a guy who liked to act like a Mr. Tough Guy all the time, but what I loved was the fact that behind closed doors, he'd openly cry while watching Titanic and would sing along to Clay Aiken and Celine Dion. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 12:53:54 PM | In my backyard anyone and everyone can cry, hug, kiss, comfort or howl at the moon, It's the way we roll around these parts. I wasn't raised that way but I knew that "getting it out" was healthy compared to bottling it up.
Feel free to express.
I'm not a self pity gal but if ever I need to cry, the tears just flow. Sometimes I don't even notice it's happening until I feel the tears drop. I don't' really need or want consolation or advice, just need to let it go.
I don't come running to console either, why interrupt?
If you need a hug or a good snotting sob session, I've got wack of hankies, broad shoulders and a pot of tea on. No worries.
Hugs C | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 1:09:47 PM | Whether you're a guy or a gal, no need to cry in public. Keep it behind closed doors. Emotional control is a big deal to me. Express them, that's healthy and necessary. But if you can't hold the tears in until you're with trusted people or in the appropriate environment (like a funeral or something), that's a huge sign of weakness, no matter what sex you are.
If someone cries at work, for example, and it's not due to a surprise personal tragedy, I lose any and all respect for that person. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 2:24:22 PM | Yes guys are emotional but Ugh! now adays there are so many sissys I guess because its more acceptable now for a man to cry nothing wrong with that but some guys are just over the top.
When I see a man cry I dont get affected actually usually when I see a guy cry his expression doesnt change and one tear comes down thats about it.
There are two criers in the world
one that cries because they are weak and
one that cries because they have been strong for too long.
I like a strong guy again nothing wrong with being in tune with your emotions but I prefer a guy that doesnt cry more than me.
And I agree with the prvious posters I am too busy laughing and enjoying life to cry but when I do there is a serious and real reason for it. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 2:48:55 PM | " I knew that "getting it out" was healthy compared to bottling it up."
Are you sure that people who don't cry are bottling it up? how do you know they are bottling it up?
Why do you expect everyone to feel the need to cry like you do?
Just maybe those that you think are just bottling it up, are busy thinking about ways to solve what is solvable. I am not talking about a death or something serious, but a problem that we are capable of fixing or need to accept and move on.
I think most people who cry do so as a manipulation, to get their own way, or to get attention.
Frustrated with something? Instead of crying, why not think it though and find a way to deal with your frustration.
One of the worse cases of crying that I ever saw, was the female president of the business association presenting at a council meeting. I gave up my membership the next day. Crying in a professional business situation is totally unacceptable for either gender. If you are unable to communicate in a business manner, excuse yourself from a business meeting. Needless to say, she was replaced as president shortly after her crying episode. | |
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| Guy's are more emotional than we think
Posted: 7/21/2012 3:24:24 PM | " I knew that "getting it out" was healthy compared to bottling it up."
Are you sure that people who don't cry are bottling it up? how do you know they are bottling it up?
Why do you expect everyone to feel the need to cry like you do?
For Me, getting it out was better than bottling it up. I don't know how I "knew" just did, and I guess part of it was trusting my body.
No, I'm not sure people who don't cry are bottling it up, some have other way of expression. But crying is good release.
I don't expect everyone to feel the need to cry like I do. I rarely cry myself. If they feel the need to though, whether male or female, I say, feel free.
I have memories of feeling the need to cry but back then I held it in as to be strategic in order not to accelerate the situation. I ended up shaking like a leaf and leaving as soon as I could. (too young). I could have used a shoulder back then.
I didn't realize but somehow understood that all the bottled up fear and anger would eventually have to spill out. After allowing myself a few good ole sob sessions, I walked away with a sense of release and forgiveness and as a must calmer, trusting individual.
I don't judge people who cry, whatever their reason for doing so. I trust my awareness, compassion and boundaries so I don't mind giving them the space or my shoulder when needed.
If they are doing it for attention, oh well, no skin off my azz, they'll get my attention, my words and a safe space to let it all out. I wouldn't want to think I should have and didn't. | |
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