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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Letting your ex know how you feel?      Home login  
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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
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Letting your ex know how you feel?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
OP: You are coming across as a psycho nut job with enough baggage to fill the Grand Canyon, that all guys try to avoid like the plague. This "letting him know how hurt I am" has nothing to do with closure or giving him information he doesn't already know. You are strictly doing it for revenge-hoping he will say "Gee, I never knew that I was hurting you". It's not going to happen. The only thing you will accomplish is to verify his suspicions that your are a crazy b1tch in need of intensive therapy.

I agree with abelian when asking, how do you know he isn't hurting too, just as much as you? Do you want him contacting you to lecture you on how much you hurt him and put all of the blame on you for messing up your lives? Afterall, we don't have any details of the break-up, so chances are you messed up the relationship as much as him. You are looking to throw a gas can on a fire. Take a vacation far away for a long time and come back and re-evaluate your plan of attack when you are a little more sane.
 SingleInArlington
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 25
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:59:39 PM
I think most of us have been in a similar situation at some point or another. I know I have! As much as I wanted to hear her say she made a mistake, as much as I wanted to know she hurt as well, as much as I wanted to hear her say she wanted to try again, as much as I wanted to snuggle up and kiss her again (dang loved the way she kissed me) those words could never heal the pain. She, just as he, decided they wanted someone different. I think a man who is 100% satisfied with you would make for a better relationship then one who is not! Sad to say but he was not satisfied (this is in general not sexual) or he would still be with you. For me the less I talked with her it helped me get over her. Everytime she would contact me it would really mess with me so I agree with everyone else who is saying dont contact him. Everyone is different so what worked for me may not work for you. I know your pain and wish you the best.
 InnerPeace777
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 26
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/24/2012 4:38:23 PM
to me its all about speaking your truth! if you feel you need to get it off your mind then do it! otherwise you will walk around with that for a long time. even if you dont call him. you can text him, write him a letter, fb him, e mail him; write a poem and read it over and over. dont get overly into a conversation with him that leaves you feeling even more bewildered. just make it simple! and dont expect vindication in the form of an apology; if he does tell you that then good for him but dont go looking for that. just get whatever it is off your mind and move on!
 LonelyRussian27
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 27
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Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/25/2012 6:06:52 PM
The reality is, he will probably at some point email or text or something. Then you can tell him he had his chance and why you would not consider him again. I understand why you want to vent at him, but wouldn't it be better to do it when you are not chasing him down looking desperate. You are angry, but it will come off that you need him and are broken hearted.

Don't contact him...he will come looking for you with some line about being friends...
 A881e
Joined: 7/11/2012
Msg: 28
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/26/2012 5:44:04 AM
Because he wont feel guilt OP

He will get a ego rush out of it.. Never tell them and just move on. When it ends, never loose your self worth and feel the need to tell them anything. They are not worthy of even knowing and your freinds know this and probably want you to seem the strong one.

Bonus for doing so is 1.. You keep your dignaty and pride, 2.. you dont give him a ego rush or power trip and 3... why would you want to talk to someone whos hurt you. Do not contact him and do not even act like you care.. Give his own medicine.. hes not worth the hassle as it will not benefit you in any shape or form to go telling him how bad hes made you feel. Its silly. and it wont give you satisfactory results.
 prettyflowers
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 29
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Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/26/2012 6:23:55 AM
I think this is a fair thing to do, to let him know. He could be hurting too. It's a loss all the way around for most couples. Unless, he cheated and then _____ him!!!

I have used the NC thing and it does work. I am going through some stuff myself but I am okay. You need closure? Try to get it, but try once. And please be aware that it could be bad for you. That is what you need to think about...The consequences of it.

Letting him know how you feel about the breakup is ABOUT you. And if you think you can feel better by doing so than do it. PF
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 30
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/26/2012 3:20:07 PM
Because your giving power over to him. Dont worry what he does with other girl, only worry about being with someone who can respect you.
Contact him, no, what good will that do.
The best thing you can do is move on, dont contact him what so ever.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 31
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Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/28/2012 9:56:10 AM
Write the letter, pour your heart out, tell him everything you feel, how much he hurt you etc. Very liberating to do this and get it all off your chest. It is amazing how good it feels to write it all down.

THEN DELETE IT WITHOUT SENDING AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE!
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 32
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Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/28/2012 10:18:27 AM
The Perception:

(1) You still think there's 'hope'.

(2) You're not over him, but he's over you .

(3) You don't specifically say it, but you believe you can 'negotiate' your way back into his life.

The Prognosis:

(1) It's over. Move on.

(2) There is no 'hope' There is only 'change'.

(3) You can never successfully negotiate from a position of weakness.

The Projection:

(1) He's made it abundantly clear you are no longer part of his life.

(2) If you start trying to lay what he will most certainly perceive as a 'guilt trip' on him,
don't be surprised if he (a) hangs up on you and / or (b) ignores your texts or emails.

(3) He could give a rat's ass how you feel.

Move along. Nothing to see here anymore ...
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 33
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/28/2012 2:24:07 PM
OP _ I am pretty sure most exes know that we are hurt...


but


most won't care.. because we break up for people who we do not wish to be with any longer...so their feelings and pain are not of great importance to the dumper...


you will only be a nuissance...
 alexvanlee
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 34
Letting your ex know how you feel?
Posted: 7/30/2012 1:58:05 PM
do not contact him and move on.
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