| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 6:13:26 AM | Ok.. so she thinks your ears are funny.. or your eyes are uncomfortably close together. Or the way the bald spot reminds her of her Uncle Fred who scratched his crotch in public. Or the way your nose hair stands out on one side. Or the fact that you're missing a couple teeth and the rest are green. Or you smell funny. Its her problem, dude. You're fine just the way you are...  | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 6:15:28 AM | Why bother even saying anything. I have heard that phrase a million times over the years, and I will always respect someone who says it to me because they are being upfront and honest. It is worse when a woman, I am a guy so is why I am sating that, beats around the bush and says something as a polite no. I prefer to know what it is.
Usually when someone says I don't find you attractive, usually means they do not like what they see. | |
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Tamalo
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 128 | |
| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:09:03 AM | Okay.....here's my designated line for guys who have no flaws, but I still am not attracted to him for some reason (bad teeth is normally it.....I'm a sucker for good teeth). "Judging by everything you've said so far, you seem like a respectable man. But, to be totally honest, I just don't feel the attraction that is necessary for me to want to pursue this." To each his own, but I am definitely an individual who needs to feel something right then and there.....otherwise, it's easy for me to get caught up in everyday life and deem "dating" not that important.
I feel bad about not being attracted to a seemingly nice guy because I don't get that many "hollers" to begin with, let alone from a seemingly nice guy. A guy once told me that women don't get to meet the real man until the deal is closed. Leading up to that, you're just dealing with his sales rep. Funniest thing I ever heard.
Anyway, after I sing my song, some guys do ask what I am not attracted to. I will not name any physical imperfections. Because if there are any, they are subjective to me. I'm not into making people self-conscious. I pass it off as being something that is intangible......what's the word? Chemistry. No chemistry. I never apologize either, for some reason apologizing for saying something like that makes people feel like you think you're better.
All this is totally trial and error for me. I got it wrong repeatedly before finding out what universally works. I had to figure out what to say so guys didn't argue or want to argue with me. Sometimes trying to be honest and not hurt people's feelings is hard work. We all have a built in defense mechanism. And in a way, I kind of expect it to kick in when someone says something like, "You are not attractive (to me)." | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:22:23 AM | Now wouldnt it be scary if everyone was attracted to everyone else! Theres a reason we all see something different in different people. Just because my 13 year old thinks Im cute and Mom says Im beautiful doesnt mean everyone will think that. Ever looked in a box of chocolates and been instantly attracted to the square ones first?? ok maybe thats just me but I hope you get the point in here somewhere. Ive even gone as far as saying " hey here I am heres a pic if theres no attraction no need to reply" :) works for me ( I hate the You really arent what Im looking for but good luck emails) plus it leaves them guessing and ladies we should always leave them guessing
Brat  | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:26:49 AM | Too much is based on the first 5-10 minutes of meeting someone I find..everyone thinks being nervous meeting someone is a thing of the past and if that person is nervous then they have a problem.
Chemistry...how can that happen in minutes? Not knowing how a person is, yet chemistry? I wonder if just saying everything she wants to hear will be the key to chemistry in the future? I find being yourself, women are so not ino that. BS I hate to do but have seen more guys bs to women and they seem to fall for it...
What si that word again? Oh ya two words the famous " Physical attraction"
That phrase makes me cringe as bad as the two bad words "Nice..guy"
Come on people since when do we know a person when we first meet them that first face to face time? I always believe getting to know someone brings more out in them than saying "Sorry no connection" the first time I meet her. If I get along with her, then that accounts for something...shouldn't it? Or do the sparks have to fly when she lays her eyes on me and then love is in the air instantly? | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:43:25 AM | Well RabidWolverine to attempt to answer your question, in my case sparks DO have to fly when I first see her. If she doesn't blow me away physically, then I don't attribute the appropriate level of interest I should for someone I'm out on a date with, and start radiating a "let's be friends vibe" 
If the woman does take my breath away, then I am completely in awe of her  I'll hang on her every word, and be dying to hear more. I'll want to know everything about her because I DESIRE her (body, mind & soul). Yes it starts in my case with a desire for the body, but that's what initially gets my attention; her personality and words are then what keeps my attention.
If she doesn't stun me right away, she's not going to be able to hold my attention with words alone. It's a DATE, and the ultimate goal of a date is romance. No attraction = No romance.  What's the point in sitting over drinks with a woman I'm not attracted to? All I'm going to hear is the muffled voice of Charlie Brown's teacher while she's talking | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:53:05 AM | OP that is up to you. I personally would not recommend it as it is hard to argue with people that think thios way and are so centred in their "views" that they will not accept other peoples opinions, suggestions or whatever.
Whats funny, and I know this is alittle off topic, but that people say Christians are "intolerant", but look at how many shallow people there are that don't give others the chance to get to know them and are so fixated on their looks and what not, apparantly thats ok? What a silly double standard!! | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 7:55:34 AM | Wow then I have to say then..dating is completely done for me...I mean this is what the reason has been then why I never get past the first meeting...and to think I thought even being average looking would cut it because she would get to find out I am really a great guy...but looks paves the road to romance is what you are saying? I'll stick to not meeting then and just chat and hang out on the forums...
Thanks for the heads up too...now I know what the reason for such a poor outcome on my meetings...
I have been naive I suppose to think that women would look past my flaw and be attarcted to my quality...what an eye opener this is. Thanks bud
I honestly thought that there were women who appreciated guys being decent, even if they were not a 10 in thier looks. Is this possible today? To be unattractive looking but have an attractive personality? or is it purely physical? | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 8:06:09 AM | Hey Rabid,
This wasn't to discourage you, I just posted how I personally feel about dating and how I approach it... No need to worry, plenty of people are different from my somewhat clinical and shallow views
Don't give up your search, plenty of people look past the physical (or so they claim), I'm just not one of them... Hang in there buddy!  | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 8:08:29 AM | {Wow then I have to say then..dating is completely done for me...I mean this is what the reason has been then why I never get past the first meeting...and to think I thought even being average looking would cut it because she would get to find out I am really a great guy...but looks paves the road to romance is what you are saying? I'll stick to not meeting then and just chat and hang out on the forums...
Thanks for the heads up too...now I know what the reason for such a poor outcome on my meetings...
I have been naive I suppose to think that women would look past my flaw and be attarcted to my quality...what an eye opener this is. Thanks bud
I honestly thought that there were women who appreciated guys being decent, even if they were not a 10 in thier looks. Is this possible today? To be unattractive looking but have an attractive personality? or is it purely physical? }
Just to make another point. ANYBODY who judges someone strictly for their looks and will not even settle for average looking but onlu for above average looking will NEVER be satisfied in their love lives and sex lives. They relationship if it goes on like that will fail miserably and hopfully one day they will smarten up and realize that it's not worth being how they are in terms of setting their physical standards so high. If it is MORAL or ETHICAL or even (to an extent) Intellectual standards, then thats different story, those things will always matter.!
So those people who are think sand act silly enough to set unrealistic standards are only going to put themselves down. | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 8:17:10 AM |
Just to make another point. ANYBODY who judges someone strictly for their looks and will not even settle for average looking but onlu for above average looking will NEVER be satisfied in their love lives and sex lives. They relationship if it goes on like that will fail miserably and hopfully one day they will smarten up and realize that it's not worth being how they are in terms of setting their physical standards so high.
Well Mardioluv4u I can only speak for me, but I tried the settling for nice girls that were either average and/or heavy set and trust me brother, it didn't make me any happier and I wound up dumping them anyway  What kind of relationship can you possibly have if you don't think the person you're with is highly desirable (to you)? I don't expect a woman that's a 10/10 because I'm not a 10/10 either, but I do know I want a woman I find above average in looks because I've received enough feedback/leers from women I've encountered and dated that I am above average in looks (I rate myself an 8, so I'm not even THAT conceited ). If I don't want to settle, that's my choice (and possibly my curse, only time will tell).
If it is MORAL or ETHICAL or even (to an extent) Intellectual standards, then thats different story, those things will always matter.!
So what you are saying is that it's okay to set intellectual standards and ditch someone that's kind-hearted but a little slower on the draw than you? That sounds just as mean as basing things solely on looks if you ask me... I fail to see how that type of exclusion is any different if the person isn't mentally-disabled in some way... | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 8:24:17 AM | Well let's face it, the downfall is, if you are just an average looking joe, you are more or less unattractive...because there is either attractive men or unattractive men. I believe being called average looking is really a polite way of saying you are unattractive.
Now don't get me wrong as I am not being negative here. Just stating that unattractive men will find it hard to get dates compared to attractive men. And many of those unattractive men are decent guys...just that those guys just never usually are given a fair chance and so they tend to never get past that hurdle of the first meeting.
And hey it is human nature and instinct to be attracted to what looks good compared to what is good inside as no one can see the inside unless they take a chance.
But now with so many guys and women basing all on the first meeting, the job interview, then I often wonder, can a woman be emotionally attracted to someone or does it always have to be physical?
Point I make is myself, most times if not all times, women I meet say I am average looking, women friends say I am good looking...why the difference? Because the women friends know me and see my qualities, being my perosnality, sense of humour etc, so they say that makes me attractive...a woman who does not know me, sees me and passes me up because she does not see anything attractive...dilema? To somehow try to prove to that woman or women you definitely are a good catch...but it is almost impossible and really hard...and that ends up in the end to become frustrating...and is why I refuse to post my pic public...I rather send the pic to those i will want to communicate with...being a 5 does not cut it with most... | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 9:00:00 AM | well thats why i took my picture off . I got sick of weoman mailing me saying i dont know if you look like a monkey's butt or something that comes out monkeys butt. Im in therapy now because i not sure which one id prefer to be.   | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 9:07:43 AM | | thats true and people dont step on you. Except the ones calling you monkeys butt. But that your right is a whole other meeting with the doctor | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 9:13:11 AM | {Well let's face it, the downfall is, if you are just an average looking joe, you are more or less unattractive...because there is either attractive men or unattractive men. I believe being called average looking is really a polite way of saying you are unattractive.
Now don't get me wrong as I am not being negative here. Just stating that unattractive men will find it hard to get dates compared to attractive men. And many of those unattractive men are decent guys...just that those guys just never usually are given a fair chance and so they tend to never get past that hurdle of the first meeting.
And hey it is human nature and instinct to be attracted to what looks good compared to what is good inside as no one can see the inside unless they take a chance.}
Well Just want to add something else, Some people when they say "I am average looking guy or girl" are really meaning in a humble way that they believe they are BOCE AVERAGE or ATTRACTIVE but are not full of themselves. Thats exactly what I would say and do and infact i do that. | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 9:50:15 AM | Attraction and beauty are in the eye of the beholder. All of us (no exceptions) are attractive to some and unattractive to others so we just should keep on looking
until somebody will see the world in us. Besides, big part of attraction comes from
within so the person judging you (or me) just by the cover is noth worthy of our attention in the frst place. See the movie "Life is beautiful". Guy wasn;t attractive phisically but his incredible attitude, zest for life and joy in everything he saw and did made him attractive
in so many ways. So lets live our lives the same way and there will be lots of admirers
knocking on our door. We just have to feel good about ourselves no matter how we look
and when we love ourselves, others will too. | |
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Tansi
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Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 143 | |
| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 9:53:56 AM | I'm sticking to my idea about it. No need to be hurtful. Maybe if you don't have enough confidence in the picture you have, then don't post it. Use a really creative headline and say that photo will be supplied upon request.
I'm not crazy about the only one I have of my face. I took it off. It was simply not flattering. Now I get all kinds of mail, and the majority of it is flattering comments on my profile. I would rather have that . In my opinion, there is never a time when insults or hurtful words serve any good or constructive purpose, even to the boneheads that message me with their lewd and tacky comments. I just block them. They know what they are doing, so why should I play?
Please be kind. This is not a smutty chatroom where most will never meet anyone. It's a place where people leave themselves open and are vulnerable.   | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:00:40 AM | If someone doesn't find me attractive, why would they bother telling me so? I wouldn't waste time arguing with them if they did though, because there ARE people out there who do find me attractive...  | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:04:25 AM | | ^^As if anyone would ay you are not attractive..looks wise..they would need glasses if they said you were unattractive..gimme a break | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:16:56 AM | My god Pricness, not being rude here, but you can have the pick of the best, if you picked a regular looking guy for example, I would be totally floored because you could have the top of the line guy, and he would be kissing your butt for sure... hell every guy would hehe... | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:21:39 AM | | yea notta prices. What is up with all you hotties in canada. There not enough of those frenchy guys' Just kidding frenchy guys. Its like yall dont have ugly trees up there more like yall fell down good looking tree. Never mind ill see you there i am now canadian. | |
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| Sorry, I just don't find you attractive
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:26:23 AM | | Rabid we started our own forum i think wich is better. Final cut what is this canadian idol up there. Final cut jeezz girls give rabid a break | |
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