pfif
| | Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 26 | |
| | speaking with a lovely man from englandPage 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I think people go down the wrong road when they try to hide how utterly
foolish their plans are -- from just about everyone.
If you choose, instead, to share your best plan with your wisest friend or
family member, you will get enough in facial expressions, alone, to tell you
everything you need to learn about this. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 1:45:22 AM | If I were you. I would let him come to NZ to visit you so you could get to know him in person. Living with someone you have never met , I'm sorry, it's a bad idea. It doesn't hurt to wait a little longer like a year or two to start your life with him. At least let him show how important you are to him by flying to see you in NZ. It's not a big thing but that can also prove that you are mean something to him and he is serious about your relationship.
Good luck. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 2:11:01 AM | England is my country, - I am returning , - it makes sence to me, - to return to someone rather than on my own.
The OP still actively lives in New Zealand, but has her "Mail Settings" showing she lives in England (the West Sussex area), so that she comes under a Englishman's search here on POF.
This whole idea of meeting this "lovely man from england" reeks of desperation. But if you read her profile, it would appear that her real desperation is to get away from her life in New Zealand, after a failed marriage. She basically wants to sell her Bed & Breakfast business/property as quickly as possible, but make sure she has a man waiting for her on her return to England. And she's not fussy on her "Mail Settings" when it comes to the age of that man - "30 to 67". Holy sh*t! That starts at nearly 20 years younger than her age and ends at exactly 20 years older than her age. Wow. Sounds like she's not fussy at all to be honest.
And I'm willing to bet serious money that there was a time, possibly not so long ago, when she was sitting in England searching for man in a foreign land, probably because she was bored and lonely in England...
She found a New Zealander, she sold up in the UK, and moved lock, stock and barrel to the the other side of the world.
The OP comes across in her profile as a thoroughly decent human being, but her actual plan to meet this "lovely man from england" is total madness - and as poster Jac_the_Gripper quite rightly pointed out, it could all be extremely dangerous - particularly meeting someone "half way in Bali".
The OP states that "England is my country" and "I am returning".
Why does it "make sense" to have someone waiting for her on her return? Why can't she return first and then find the next love of her life?
Yep, the grass is rarely greener on the other side of the hill... | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 5:24:29 AM | | why not meet halfway between you if you both in the uk? thing is with the internet it gives false picture ,you can be anyhing you want be false photos, gender,age. i took risk after few months talking inc on phone(so did woman i met) went booked hotel in ireland vist her,lucky we was both honest peeps turned up and it was great.but if i was weaker/woman id check other person out on facebook,use clares law to be safe.thing online relationships is not real one or other gets distorted view/off into fantasyland how thy want it be. nothing wrong being safe,those with nothing to hide,hide nothing.let us know what happened | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:07:00 AM | Just a few questions:
Once you re-locate, how do you plan on supporting yourself until you get a job?
Do you have several months worth of savings?
If yes, does he know this?
Are you going to sell that large bed & breakfast guest home & make a nice profit?
If yes, does he know this?
Did you get a settlement when you got divorced?
If yes, does he know this?
Sorry but I used to be an investigator & I've been trained to think like a con-artist. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 7:57:53 AM | andy1961 is spot on with his reply.
Phone conversations/emails/text's does not replace the real thing!...Sorry it doesn't!
I think OP is living a fantacy and needs a wake up call.
New Zealand is a long way to travel to meet a person who is feeding you what you want to hear. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 2:59:22 PM | Cheers,
I have lived in both countries successfully.
I am from West Sussex, - am returning, - that speaks volumes to people who are open minded,- and travel abroad for business. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 3:28:08 PM |
I would like to hear PM,- from others who have experience in this,.
Of course the other alternative to the OP being the most foolish, naive, 47 year old woman in existence, is an act to get folk to privately mail him/her, or s/he PM's folk acting all innocent and in need of guidance and then tries to get them off-site by inviting them to join him/her on MSN like a big, fat, juicy scammeroony.
Now that would almost be clever. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 4:17:03 PM | | I live in Britain and cannot understand why if you want to come back to Britain why you cannot come back on your own. This could be a con man. Why on earth have you put on your profile about your business? this could attract anyone who is materialistically minded. If one of my children told me they were going to leave England to go to another country to be with someone they had not even met I would think they had gone crazy! Your not a teenager, you must know that people on the internet can be anyone they want to be. Sorry to be so harsh but I am actually worried for you. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 4:18:39 PM | OP, from your posting history:
Always remember ,-walk away from trouble if you can, -and dont tell anyone where you are.
Love from Molly in New Zealand xxx
P/S - its winter here , there must be a warm gent in England Ireland Scotland France Italy America. Canada who would like to write to me for mutual benefits and progress
-It seems you wanted 'any' warm gent (as long as they were not in New Zealand) | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 4:19:09 PM | I know of a guy in England, who after a while chatting to women in the USA, tells them he loves them, with all sorts of promises and wants to meet them, so the women fly over to meet this guy on their own money. It turns out, he has been lying to these women, so when they arrive in England, he's 'vanished' and not a word from him.
Thing is, he's bragged about this stunt. Low life.
Be cautious, OP. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 4:21:57 PM |
-It seems you wanted 'any' warm gent (as long as they were not in New Zealand)
And from the First World.
Hey Molly, I haven't mentioned about my lifestyle on your thread, in private mail, or in my profile, so why did you make that scammer style leading comment about how much you admire the lifestyle I have in Wales? | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 4:29:31 PM | | I won't even date anyone an hour away and you are talking England? Why? How did you even start talking to him? I guess it is your choice, but you do not truly know this person, so head with caution.... | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:07:42 PM | Oh, and the OP is actually based in New Zealand,
but has her location as being in Pulborough UK.
--so, perhaps the OP doesn't either... | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 45 | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 6:48:05 PM | I don't know if the OP is telling us a true story about herself and this guy. If it's true, it seems like she has made up her mind. No one can tell her not to see him. I hope the OP could come back here to share with us your good story after meeting this guy. If you come back to share a sad story in the Broken Hearts forum, people will tell you: "See, I told you so."
No matter what, please share your story with us. We care for you. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:20:05 PM | Put your sensible head on for a while. (Worzel Gummidge reference there for those in the the know).
If you truly believe that this man is the right man, then you will understand that a relationship happens in the real world not across the internet. So, you need to meet him. Choosing to do that mid-point between NZ and England is stupid, as you potentially are going to be trapped in his company for a number of days which sucks if the connection isn't there when you meet.
The smart thing to do is for you to travel to the UK - Him travelling to you, leaves you in a situation where you might feel obligated to act as host to someone you don't click with in person. As you are considering moving back to England anyway, you will need to think about where you will live, employment and living accommodation. You've made a move between countries before and so you will know that this is the smartest way to scope out the details if you want to return to the UK.
Head to England for a trip. Choose a base which you are familiar with. Opt for somewhere which has people you know. Use some of the time to find out information you will need if you are returning anyway. As you are travelling from NZ, I think it's reasonable for him to travel from whichever part of England he lives in, to meet you where you are staying for your visit.
You have to facilitate a meeting in person before getting caught up in the crazy fantasy of building a life with a stranger. I suspect when the reality of the financial implications of meeting this man hit home, he'll suddenly be less attractive and you'll be more willing to look closer to home. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/29/2012 8:24:46 PM | | Irish eyez I lived in Scotland I know what is all part of the UK. WANT to see my passport? Have a visa. That is the part of the SCOTTISH in Scottishhouston. | |
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/30/2012 12:00:23 AM | I was in a similar situation. On a different website that has a chatroom I had been talking to a Guy there, its good cuz II u can see how ppl act to.other ppl. He lived 2 states away. We also Immed @ texted phoned a bit. This went on for over a year. He came & got a hotel roomHe was going to stay sat & sun. Well he was nothing like his online personalityHe was almost opposite. He's kinda boisterous. And has a lot.of information on news and all.kinds of things. Reads a lot etc. Sorts a big mouth w his opinions sometimes but fun.
Well in real life he was so whimpy I couldn't even believe it. I was shocked. And he wouldn't stop drinking caffeine so his hands were shaking couldn't stand still & pacing.I told him to stop the caffeine or i was leaving he said no. He was driving me nuts talking & talking
Well we went to dinner & he had more coffe I left. A day later he sends a message that he had a good time. I reminded him of some incidents _. I don't talk to him anymore
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| speaking with a lovely man from england
Posted: 7/30/2012 12:00:38 AM | I was in a similar situation. On a different website that has a chatroom I had been talking to a Guy there, its good cuz II u can see how ppl act to.other ppl. He lived 2 states away. We also Immed @ texted phoned a bit. This went on for over a year. He came & got a hotel roomHe was going to stay sat & sun. Well he was nothing like his online personalityHe was almost opposite. He's kinda boisterous. And has a lot.of information on news and all.kinds of things. Reads a lot etc. Sorts a big mouth w his opinions sometimes but fun.
Well in real life he was so whimpy I couldn't even believe it. I was shocked. And he wouldn't stop drinking caffeine so his hands were shaking couldn't stand still & pacing.I told him to stop the caffeine or i was leaving he said no. He was driving me nuts talking & talking
Well we went to dinner & he had more coffe I left. A day later he sends a message that he had a good time. I reminded him of some incidents _. I don't talk to him anymore
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