| | Let him go? Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) |
He has fully accepted the blame and apologized for asking me for something he was not ready for, but he has to do this to be sure about me.
Who cares if he is "sure about you?" This type of "have the cake and eat it too" behavior would make me "sure about him."
I'd make his "choice" easy ... I'd walk.  | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 4:15:19 AM | | Firstly this not honesty,secondly cos you are atracted then he`ll use you at will and even tell you about in the name of honesty...get real. | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 4:40:16 AM | "At least he was honest"
Seriously? He's a cad! This is why over half of marriages end in divorce, no committment! No obligation to keep your word. Why even get in a relationship, if this is honesty. | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 5:06:50 AM | A lot of us have been there. And it's a very sad place to be simply because maybe you love him and can't shake that. This happened to me a few weeks ago after a year long relationship and I have actually been doing well with the help of a good friend that has made me see things differently. I get a little bit better everyday and for my friend helping me ,I am very thankful.
Doesn't mean I have fallen out of love but it means I am healing. Get a good friend to cry to,be sad with, and someone you can trust. I go on the forums a lot and see the heartbroken posts from some OPs that after years later they still can't get over their loss. Very sad.
Keep you head up high and think about what you really want in a relationship. Set rules and bounderies.
Yes, his honesty was good and all that but an exclusive relationship is just that. Either he wanted you or not. Please do not return to him..Like the other poster said you are attractive and there is someone out there who wants JUST you and only you. Best of luck LauraP36.......PF | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 5:27:11 AM | HELL YES let him go! So he is leaving to see if this other girl he might like more. Gurl, advice from a man dont play second choice ever.
If he liked you enough and you had everthing he desired he wouldnt be meeting this other girl.
It has nothing to do with honesty. He's seeing what you will take. So if it doesnt work out he can come back to you? Why risk losing you in the first place.
Tell him to hit the r to the oad | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 7:23:37 AM | | Actions have consequences. His honesty was nice. But that does not mean that YOU have to wait for him. He had his chance, he blew it. End of story. I would not give this guy another chance. Find yourself a guy that sees you as the priority, not the option. | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 32 | |
| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 7:32:00 AM | | He is an immature, snake in the grass, low life, foolish creep. I don't care if you are a 4 on a silly man's scale of 10 and weigh 80 pounds or 300 pounds, date someone who sees you as a priority. Now let me slink off to play Gloria Gaynor tunes haha | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:09:29 AM | My advice is don't wait for him to come back, if he does it will only be to use you till the next one catches his eye.
We all are guilty of wanting it to be more than it is, but take it from one who was there..he will just use yu and then loose you.
You are way to good for that...remember that always. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 8:19:00 AM |
Last week he asked me to be his exclusive girlfriend ...This guy is a Player with a capital P
If he asked you to be exclusive then that mean's NO other women...he's only interested in YOU.
It seem's however that Romeo want's to keep you as 'insurance'.
Now the ball is in your court.
You can play silly games or you can tell him where to get off.
What is going to happen in the future when he tell's you he has met someone he really feel's a connection with? | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:45:08 AM | | OP: The biggest mistake you made is not learning Man language. Man language and Woman language are totally different. When a guy you barely know and only met recently does the "wannabee exclusive?" spiel, the translation is "I want to get into your pants. The old "let's be exclusive" trick will open her up for sex. But I will still look for other vaginas in the meantime." I'm surprised you didn't say to him: "While you're checking out another woman, I will date one of the guys who's been e-mailing me to be sure, since we're just semi-exclusive." | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 36 | |
| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 8:52:54 AM | | ^^^ I don't always agree with this. The majority of men I have dated wanted to be exclusive from the beginning, Most were not looking for a quick sexual fix. The ones who were realized that was a moot point with me quickly and left the scene. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 8:56:48 AM | | Tell him you appreciate the honesty and good luck. Personally I'd drop him like a hot rock. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 9:14:38 AM | | Oh yes a connection with someone he never met? Its obvious he has been talking to her the whole time he was seeing you. To be sure about you? Tell him Im sure I dont want to see you again. Men are a dime a dozen just like women, dont give him one ounce of thought, he isnt worth it. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 10:13:20 AM | | A lot of people are very opportunistic and he sounds like one of them who jumped ship once he thought something better came along. Forget him and move on. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 10:54:10 AM |
So I met a guy, we talked for weeks and met several times. Last week he asked me to be his exclusive girlfriend. I accepted and everything seemed just fine. A few days later he tells me that there is this other girl that he never got a chance to meet. That he is sorry but he is going to meet her and they have a connection. He has fully accepted the blame and apologized for asking me for something he was not ready for, but he has to do this to be sure about me. This is very upsetting to me. Has this happened to anyone else? I am not sure what to think, my mind has gone numb.
We see this same behavior in married couples. At least you were not married to him. Exclusive relationships end everyday.
Funny how some here castigate this man for being true to himself and his feelings.
OP you need to move on learn from this. "Weeks" is not enough time to truly know someone. There is a difference between love and infatuation.
It takes more than a year to really get to know someone well enough to grow into love in my opinion.
Falling in love is no different than falling period.....You get hurt.
Slow down and use both your heart and head next time. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 11:17:09 AM | I agree with Vestaceres
If he'd said that to me, I can only read that as though he was not that interested in me in the first place, but was willing to 'settle' because he was lonely at the time, but the fact that he was pursuing another girl while asking me to be his GF would put me off completely. No going back - not for me on this one. Don't ask unless you're sure. I'd say he lost all credibility.
Dark Knight:
So....if she was not an attractive girl, and did not have a good figure, then she would deserve to be treated that way? Just wondering about the logic...?? | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 11:26:10 AM | | Move on! There is somebody better for you. Your a cute girl. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 11:48:47 AM | | Even if you were an ugly girl with a bad figure, you'd deserve to treat yourself with respect and find the type of relationship you want. The idea that only attractive people shouldn't have to settle is ridiculous. No one should pretend to be in love when they aren't and they shouldn't allow someone to treat them in a way they don't want (and someone doesn't have to treat you badly to be wrong for you). It's not love, it's excitement, it's lust, it's hopes & dreams, but you can't love someone you don't even like, don't know, who doesn't treat you well. That's not love, that is a form of some issue one might have, or having one's daydreams ruling their life instead of reality. It's a lot easier to get over someone when you don't play head games with yourself. Sure is sucks to have your fantasy about someone be crushed, but to play games with your own head and treat yourself like crap is a fool's game. He didn't work out, there are good reasons why it didn't work out, take a reality check and stop beating a dead horse. Your hopes died, nothing more was going on there, nothing deeper, someone you met, hoped would be the one and it went another way. Don't ever treat something like that as though it was some lost love, some great romance...it never got that far. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 12:03:40 PM | dayndaze said it best with this...
they shouldn't allow someone to treat them in a way they don't want (and someone doesn't have to treat you badly to be wrong for you). Don't ever treat something like that as though it was some lost love, some great romance...it never got that far.
I would round it up by saying...WHY would you want to convince someone to "like" you????
He's playing on your neediness and he knows it.....be strong...you deserve better! | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 12:29:09 PM | | this might be a silly question..but did u bang him yet?? | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 1:06:55 PM |
this might be a silly question..but did u bang him yet??
Really you couldn't ask this question without sounding so crass.
Unless you want to come across that way.. | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 1:12:03 PM | I realize that with the internet and just generally greater mobility, all people do have more options. However, if 2 people have mutual feelings of "this could be the real deal"-they don't NEED to keep "shopping" and they quite often only do the "exclusivity talk" as a formality,because each is already committed to the other. I do understand about casual/social/multi-dating, I'm NOT saying that 2 people MUST become exclusive immediately after the first expression of mutual interest, but when a match is made of equal attraction and feelings,it usually just progresses to exclusivity without having to have a lot of negotations, contract talks and signing of treaties.
OF COURSE there are perfectly solid and valid relationships that develop somewhat differently-but by and large I think most really solid relationships just develop without a lot of fanfare and drama.
Were I you, OP, I'd forget the guy. If he chose to ask for exclusivity and then withdrew the request because he MIGHT like this gal "better"-then he's a bit on the flakey side, and trust me there are far better mn out there.
I don't know as anyone is "castigating" the guy-he's not here to BE "castigated". Some posters have spoken of his behavior in unkind terms-which is their OPINION...and isn't that what these threads are partially about? OPINIONS?
Myself, I don't think the dude is bad or evil...clueless, maybe-lameass, definitely. But that's my opinion, not a "castigation". I'm not looking to 'castigate' anybody here -that would indicate a belief that I could correct or change someone's behavior. And I don't care enough to entertain such a belief.
Again, OP-I'm sorry for your pain. But I'd file this guy under "Forget", and move on.
Cindy O | |
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Posted: 8/1/2012 2:40:18 PM | I think the worst this guy did...was to think out loud which would cause confusion. If you think about most of the relationships you find in a FEW weeks...they are in no way anything more than the beginning stages of a relationship. I'm sure he felt something for you...and the other person..and he made the fault of saying his thoughts out loud bringing you into his fantasies...solidifying what he thought was happening...but wasn't.
It was kind like he was talking in his sleep...you just can't take it so serious...when it has only been a few weeks knowing someone.... | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 3:50:49 PM | | You must know really what you have to do. Dump him! He asks you to just be with him and then he has the cheek to tell you his going too meet someone else. What a loser! Are you really going to let someone treat you like that?? | |
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| Let him go?
Posted: 8/1/2012 4:08:58 PM | Sorry hun, this is all just BS.
There is no gun to his head forcing him to see another gal.
He is already sure about you -- THAT YOU ARE NOT THE "ONE".
HE'S BLOWN IT BIG TIME WITH YOU. YOU WILL NEVER, EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.
Of course you are upset, anyone would be!!
I always tell a guy, if you hurt me; in the end, you will hurt yourself because I'll be gone and you will miss me forever.
Had a fella who asked me to marry him, I agreed with one condition - pre-nup. He wouldn't agree and things ended. Found out couple of years later, that two times he dated me and said he was single, he was living with another gal.
So nowadays, he hurts because I'm not in his life and never will be again. I will never trust him.
get on with your life, delete his number, forget his name, don't be friend, if he comes back begging ...
he made a choice and he has to live with the consquences. He won't have you.
Good luck hun | |
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