| | Who asks for the first meeting/date?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I don't think it matters, we're not 18 anymore, we're adults. If you want to meet the person...ask. There is no hard and fast rule, both genders get rejected and both genders have success. I think it's a successful evening if they show up, look like they do in their picture and are at least polite and pleasant to talk to. It doesn't have to lead to a further date, one may want to and the other doesn't..so what. Hopefully, both will want to meet again.
As for fake profiles or profiles full of b.s. or people not being what they say they are - both genders are guilty of this.
My take on this - it's just coffee. Nothing more/nothing less. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/2/2012 7:56:10 PM | ...my sweet baby darlin girl....that feller was mild in asking you that as opposed to some that I have received!
I bet hehe....
I couldn't believe it when I read that..."Am I hot to trot" Wish he was closer I would have given him a slap on the head.
But see what I was telling you ....that's the kind of the thing that happens to me when I make the first move...they think I'm just looking to get laid.
Now while that may be partially true, I would like to accomplish this on my terms and with someone I have connected with. Gawd......
...mae | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/2/2012 11:18:19 PM | | If a guy does not suggest a meeting within a week or so of chatting I would suggest it if I am sufficiently interested but not before we have actually talked on the phone and/or webcammed . It should just be for a drink and half an hour or so, so no big deal, it is not a date. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:59:46 AM |
I almost always suggested we get together and meet. If they waffle or don't try and set a date/time I lose interest and stop emailing. Many people are just looking for pen pals, and I didn't want that.
I feel a same way.
Don't care of it makes me seem like a rushing things, desperate, or even phonetic.
I want to talk to you on the phone, and meet. Let see what she really looks like, if we can get along in real life.
Same goes for her. She can see what I really look like, and if she can stand me after 10 minutes.
We all can pretend behind a screen.
So if she is on a same page, and beat me to asking to talk on the phone, and/or meet, it's a plus in my book. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 9:05:22 AM | hi Dani,, it doesn't matter who asks . if you wait for him to ask you may miss a great oppurtunity to meet a great guy.
ask away, if it doesn't work out no big deal.. be sweet,, ;) | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 9:11:37 AM |
Depends how assertive the guy is and whether he is very averse to rejection. If he's rejection-averse and/or not very assertive, he may want the woman to make the first move to ensure *she* really likes *him.*
This may be true in a lot of cases B Gal, but as is in most cases, you shouldn't make assumptions.
I am neither unassertive or averse to rejection. Not everyone is meant to be together. To be upset about it is a waste of emotions.
The problem with online dating is the volume of choices. If you wait to be discovered, you might not be discovered. And that has nothing to do with someone's interest in you. How can he/she be interested in you if they didn't even see you. You don't have some of the options that you have IRL such as making eye contact and smiling at someone.
Do guys mind if a woman asks? Everyone wants a one size fits all answer to these questions that are as different as the faces answering them. Some guys don't care either way, some guys prefer the woman asks and some prefer to do the asking.
Me personally? I don't chase women online. Why would I chase someone I've never met? For all I know it's a picture she pulled out of a magazine and a profile written by somebody else. I meet people IRL and I'll also meet some forum people on a friendship basis. Others I will direct to one of the local POF socials and meet them there. If I find I like the person and we have some things in common than I have no problem asking her our or her asking me out. This doesn't have to be complicated. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:58:48 AM |
that's the kind of the thing that happens to me when I make the first move...they think I'm just looking to get laid.
Now while that may be partially true, I would like to accomplish this on my terms and with someone I have connected with.
Ditto...I'm w/ Mae on this one...generally it is the less attractive women who have to beg, cuz men don't pursue them. Men can smell desperation on a woman like sweat on a stinky Sahara Camel a mile away. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:04:50 AM | generally it is the less attractive women who have to beg, cuz men don't pursue them.
Since when does suggesting we meet equal "begging"?
I don't consider being proactive and erasing some of those "should I ask?" jitters from the guys as being desperate.
Too bad you do. I think you're just cheating yourself.
(and I've never been desperate, I can assure you) | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:05:54 AM |
Although.........there are a couple of guys I have/do correspond with who I would ask out in a heartbeat if they lived closer :)
Ditto .... The good ones are always in other states :-)
I've met a few guys from here (meet and greet and a couple of dates afterwards), and they had initiated the first meet. If I start talking to someone on here and he sparks my interest and looks like he's interested in me, I will initiate a meet and greet. I'm past the point where I'll chat/email/talk for weeks on end before meeting the person. I would prefer a guy to initiate a meet, but if I'm really attracted to him, I would want to find out if there's a mutual attraction before getting my hopes up, and will ask to meet asap. | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 35 | |
| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:40:38 AM | | These comments kill me, I have rarely ever asked anyone out and have dated many years. Gosh, and especially on POF I am not considered to be a gorgeous woman. Any woman who asks a man out who does not appear to have interest in her would have a less than attractive amount of common sense, which has nothing to do with her outward appearance. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:41:43 AM |
Since when does suggesting we meet equal "begging"?
I don't consider being proactive and erasing some of those "should I ask?" jitters from the guys as being desperate.
Too bad you do. I think you're just cheating yourself.
(and I've never been desperate, I can assure you)
you say tomato, I say tomatoe | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:53:16 AM | | I'm sort of slow on the uptake relationally, I am veeerrrryyyy average looking, and I frequently get asked out by ladies who most of the guys on here would consider very aesthetically pleasing. I don't think any of them are desperate for attention. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:08:20 PM | If a man doesn't have the guts to ask me out, he's not the man for me.
Whether that means he's too weak or he's not interested.
Men who go after what they want (me) are much more my type.
I've never been attracted to men I would have to pursue.
I know some women like wearing the pants in a relationship and for whatever reason, feel they have to be the aggressor in order to get a man. Those men go along for the ride because it's easy and convenient.
Lazy men aren't for me, but I guess for some, it's better than nothing -or being single. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:13:54 PM | Maybe I just don't know any better because it's the way it's been all of my life, but if society or anyone else told me that I had to wait for a woman to make the first move on a date I would feel cheated. I would demand equality.
What is the stigma with the women who think it's beneath them to ask? To look at it as begging. Stooping to a new low. As if asking would be a shameful act.
It just strikes me as a very out dated way of thinking.
JMHO | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:14:12 PM |
you say tomato, I say tomatoe
Actually Blonde_angel, only one us us is single... perhaps you should step up your game, girl :)
MEOW!
Actually, I'm a pretty private person & no one knows what my game (or games) truly are ;0P | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:25:04 PM | It's not "beneath" me to ask a man out.
I just don't like men who are unwilling or unable or too lazy or too "shy" or too ____ to ask me out.
In other words, I am not attracted to those types of passive men who need/want/expect a woman to make the first move.
They simply aren't man enough for me.
What can I say-- I like a man with balls: a confident, assertive, go-getter type man.
I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't mind pursuing a man + plenty of men who like to be pursued.
To each their own. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:34:49 PM | ^^^ agreed, a shy man can be encouraged w/ a smile, a laugh, a look, etc. He may go slower, but then u r sure he is not a player. But if he won't ask at all, maybe he is not interested, period...
I know of a man in real life who got chased down by a woman, now he is hiding from her. She blew it. Had she tiptoed & used her feminine wiles (if she even has them) he'd be chasing her instead of hiding... | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:38:03 PM | Attention POF members: Landra2 is looking for an aggressive take charge man, Nancy boys need not apply!
Ok we get it. :) | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 12:51:30 PM |
I'm sure there are plenty of women who don't mind pursuing a man + plenty of men who like to be pursued.
To each their own.
There's a big difference in pursuing someone vs. letting them know you are interested... sometimes, being too "coy and feminine" comes across as cold and uninterested. Ask the men... I have two grown sons and I know the other side of this equation.
There's hard to get and there's come and get me.
You decide. | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 45 | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:23:11 PM |
It's not "beneath" me to ask a man out.
I just don't like men who are unwilling or unable or too lazy or too "shy" or too ____ to ask me out.
In other words, I am not attracted to those types of passive men who need/want/expect a woman to make the first move.
They simply aren't man enough for me.
What can I say-- I like a man with balls: a confident, assertive, go-getter type man.
If it's not beneath you Landra, then my comment doesn't apply to you. I'm not sure if you noticed, but we are saying the same thing. When I see something I like I have no qualms with asking her out. I might want to give it alittle time to make sure I wasn't sorry that I asked, but I'll ask in a heartbeat. Rejection? Ahhh, it's good for me. It builds character.
I can understand you liking that kind of a man, because I like that kind of a woman. Confident and assertive, not women with balls though. : /
I look at being able to make the choice as a privilege. I guess I don't see why a woman doesn't see it the same way. | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 4:15:44 PM | No absolutes here, that's why I said a guy who's been rejected MAY want the woman to ask him so he knows for sure she likes him.
I'm not a fan of sitting around waiting until life comes knocking on my door. I'm a take-charge gal, in charge of my own life, I make my own choices. Any guys who don't like me asking them out or suggesting a particular venue for a date, they're not for me. So far I haven't run into too many like that.
But hey, we're all different and that's what makes it a wonderful world. ;-) | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/3/2012 8:22:58 PM |
But hey, we're all different and that's what makes it a wonderful world. ;-)
well said by a classy lady :-)
I'm not a fan of sitting around waiting until life comes knocking on my door.
agreed, i live to enjoy life to the fullest! | |
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| Who asks for the first meeting/date?
Posted: 8/4/2012 6:49:10 AM | If you like someone, go ahead; do not let the gender be a stop sign.
Yes, I do not mind nor think less of a lady when she contacts me first.
In fact, lately have refrained a bit from e-mailing, it is were an issue, would not be contacting nor be contacted by anyone. | |
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