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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?      Home login  
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 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 26
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
There seem a few types. Some guys are actually looking for someone to have children with. Most are looking for an absolutely killer bomb who makes them crazy - then after a couple of years of that it just seems like, "hey-- this is working.."
 peakbagger7
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 27
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 4:31:45 PM
Decent guys in their 30s who are marriage minded generally are smart enough to avoid single moms, unless they are single dads themselves.
 Garvey14
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 28
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/5/2013 5:09:09 PM
Perfect response to your question. When you adapt to someone else there is a very good chance that at some point you are going to come to the conclusion that is not what ultimately makes you happy and your relationship/ marriage will leave you unfulfilled.
Learn to be good on your own and when you do meet someone they will love you for you, not the person you are pretending to be.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 29
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:01:18 AM
Message: Being myself had problem not to be good enough. I will fund my happiness in a faithful relationship where I feel loved and wanted

Agree
 pinksplace
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 30
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 6:19:20 AM
dmz are you alone?
 LVJ_TampaBay
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 31
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 8:56:15 AM
I was just having a conversation with a woman in her early 40's who has never been married and really, really wants to be married. I am a divorced man who was married for ten years. I know I can't speak for all men but I have to believe most divorced men feel the same way about marriage like I do. In short, the day I moved out of my home because I was asked to I felt like someone died. Marriage is a legally and emotionally binding arrangement and to have that taken away from me was devastating. I have since healed and I'm a happily divorced man. In hindsight it was the best thing for me to go through. However, since most men in the 30-40 range have been married once it's not something I really want to go through again. The courts are deliberately and overtly biased toward women so why would any man willingly choose to potentially put himself through the ringer again?

All that said, to answer your question you're not doing anything wrong per se. I think that a woman who is desperate to be married sends off the wrong signal to other men who may want a committed relationship but not necessarily marriage. That is what you may be doing wrong. Also, I hate to say it but I've yet meet a man whether it be friend, colleague, or family member that actually said, "I want to be married". Your question presumes there are a lot of marriage minded men out there and I tend to think they don't exist unless they are already married.
 peakbagger7
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 32
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:12:19 AM

Your question presumes there are a lot of marriage minded men out there and I tend to think they don't exist unless they are already married.


The only reason in this legal environment for a man to get married is if he wants to have children.

If a man decides he is now too old to have children or if he never wanted children in the 1st place then there is absolutely no reason in the world for him to marry.

In fact he would be downright stupid to put himself in such a potentially disastrous situation. There is no upside to being married vs living together or just staying bf/gf if there are no children involved.

A 45 year guy could marry a 45 year woman and they never have children and after 5-10 years she could get bored and leave and still rape him in divorce court.
 LVJ_TampaBay
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 33
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 9:30:11 AM
Completely agreed, and I think the original poster really needs to understand this just like my female friend who I was talking about. I have two sons (11 & 9) and I'm only 38 years old. I'll be done *raising* children before I'm 50. I have no desire to be raising children in my 50's therefore there is no reason for me to marry. The original poster REALLY needs to understand this.

That said, if the OP is reading this you are still quite young (I think your profile said 31) and you're attractive to say the least. You really should not fret over this. If you were 41 I'd tell you to move on from the idea of marriage.
 whoisshe23
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 34
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 10:02:15 AM
I don't think marriage is the end all to be all, however there is more to it legally than just children. Let's say you choose to live with someone and have committed to them in that relationship, love them, and that person gets sick, you have no say in their healthcare decisions should they be incapacitated. That is unfair to me to be so committed to someone and then not be able to be there for them. To me, that's the business part of marriage that people forget when they get all stuck on the emotional part of it. Just my two cents.
 kaelican
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 35
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 1:06:47 PM
From things I've read, just looking for marriage, even if you don't talk about it to the guy, can scare them away as most people can sense when someone is commitment hungry. I'd just settle for a guy that wants a relationship and wants to actually get to know you. I'm assuming there's a reason why you have to stay in the remote area you're in, so that does make things harder. Good luck.
 bemylifetimevalentine
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 36
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/6/2013 5:50:42 PM
I want children too tho. I dont want to get stuck in a dating rut that never results in marriage. I want someone to be with for the rest of my life.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 37
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what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:22:53 AM
was just having a conversation with a woman in her early 40's who has never been married and really, really wants to be married. I am a divorced man who was married for ten years. I know I can't speak for all men but I have to believe most divorced men feel the same way about marriage like I do. In short, the day I moved out of my home because I was asked to I felt like someone died. Marriage is a legally and emotionally binding arrangement and to have that taken away from me was devastating. I have since healed and I'm a happily divorced man. In hindsight it was the best thing for me to go through. However, since most men in the 30-40 range have been married once it's not something I really want to go through again. The courts are deliberately and overtly biased toward women so why would any man willingly choose to potentially put himself through the ringer again?



+1......

Marriage does NOT offer me anything I can't get without the signed paper stating as much.

Marriage, especially in middle age for men is only a promise of love, but a guarantee of liability.........definitely NOT a good set of odds to play with IMHO.
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 38
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/7/2013 11:18:29 AM
There is nothing wrong with being "marriage minded", but what about men who are simply " long term committed relationship minded?" Why does the end result have to be marriage? Common-law couples can be and are just as happy and the only difference for the most part is a piece of paper and the wedding. As far as having children goes, if you're only getting married for that purpose alone, chances are you'll end up as single parents anyways. Two people living as common-law spouses can provide just as much stability and love for children as a married couple and I know plenty of them.

Another thing about marriage is that 50% end in divorce and a percentage that stay together are unhappy and are only staying because it would cost them too much to leave. That leaves a very small percentage that are genuinely happy!

If I end up getting married, fantastic, but what's more important is being with the right person and having a committed, happy, lasting and successful life together, with or without being legally married.

Good luck =)
 Bobby1117
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 39
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/9/2013 3:30:27 PM
They want a woman that is not all about money, They want a woman that is open sexually, They want a woman that can be a friend as well as a lover, They want a sandwich and they want to watch football without being talked to about stupid things...lol
 _WinterGoddess_
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 40
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/9/2013 7:43:28 PM
^^^That's all?? Well in that case...I should be married in no time!! =))
 P0ETFURY
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 41
what do marriage minded men in their 30s want?
Posted: 1/11/2013 7:00:34 AM
men in their 30's that are wanting to be married are (or should) be looking for one thing. A trustworthy woman that won't mind signing a pre-nup.
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