| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 3:24:21 PM | Original Post: 8/9/05 definition of what a “nice guy” means.
Topic: Typical Nice Guy Gifts
I think most nice guys give way too much gifts and favors in the beginning of the relationship. The problem with this is it starts to communicate to the woman that you are OWNED by HER.
If you are going to do wonderful things for a woman that you care about, then make sure that you do things that make an impact...and make sure that is not predictable.
Women want to feel special and not some typical “nice guy” gifts. Just buying her gifts to win her APPROVAL...women are onto this.
Are you the kind of guy on a first date to buy flowers...so typical! Boring...I not saying women do not love flowers...it’s just not you!
Anybody can buy Jewry, women’s fragrance bath soap, candies, stuff animals, flowers...etc. Get the point!
One time I was talking to this girl and she said “she loves strawberries” and something came to mind. I bought her box of strawberries and handed it to her...no, no, no I’m just kidding guys.
I knew of a place that you could go strawberry picking. We had so much fun out in the fields eating strawberries and talking. You guys are probably saying how boring...yes I thought the same thing to. You know want? I was surprised. Well my girl wore these short shorts and every time she went to pickup the strawberries I was like yes, I love strawberries picking...thank you God!!!! Lets just say guys when we got back to my place I was even enjoying the strawberries...wow, what a night! Ok...I am getting off track here...sorry guys.
Well, if you want to give her a nice gift that doesn't cost
a lot of money, cook her a meal, then give her a massage,
and finally wrap it up with feeding her fruit in bed...hmmm...I wonder were I got that idea from...ha, ha, ha!
Women want things that communicate thoughtfulness. It tells her you were thinking about her and that you wanted to have a great experience with her. This will make far more of an impact than some typical “nice guy” gift that was not chosen with care.
I have been dating this girl for about six weeks now and she has been great. She told me her favorite colors are black and pink. I have never given her one gift yet. Now I am ready to. She told me her favorite colors are black and pink. I have decided I am going to get her six black roses and six hot pink roses that will be sorted black then pink. I can almost guarantee she never been given that kind of gift before.
See guys, I am not against giving flowers I am just saying put some thought into it before giving her a gift.
However, as I mentioned above, don’t overdo the gifts and favors and become too predictable...not good.
Nice guys don’t have to finish last, they just need to think differently! | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 3:54:28 PM | | sorry to hear that sunshine..but really nice guys dont always finish last.met a few and they were nice but a bit wishy washy as i guess we all can be..dont worry a good one will come along and the rest will just be a funny memory | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 3:56:21 PM | | Sounds like to me the same song and dance.This logic came out in the 90s when a man can be to nice.What logic.It is a sad world we live in.....If a person does something nice for me i will respect that.Period!I do not think it is boring.A boring person to me is a mean person.If somebody is nice i am not scared of that person.....When you are nice in this sick society means you are weak.Which is sad.As a result a gave up on finding a woman when i hit 30.I have learned that 90% of women are scared of a nice guy.And yes nice to me is when someone is showing respect to the next person.That is something you do not hear on these sick threads.All i read is if you are nice you are boring.What kind of logic is that?What a bunch of bull-crap! | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 4:27:27 PM | Reaper.......I think you and many others on this site are at a really tough age. I talk to more young people who are just trying to find an honest mate and share each others ups and downs. Just in my opinion, it gets better as you age because we all seem to grow away from the immaturity of the so called "dating scene".
The other problem is "beware" of those online. I have been chatting online since 1993 and I have met countless liars, thieves etc. I have allowed myself to be used, lied to and even date raped. Man...it is not worth it. I don't know what the answer is. There is, however, some really cool....."want to get to know you" type people out there so don't lose faith in mankind because of one woman.
Hang in there and it'll be okay!!!1
Shessirene (Mary Jane )  | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 5:36:51 PM | It's true Reaper .. Nice guys do finish last....
Women say they want a "NICE" guy but come on everyone knows it's not really true. Most women see nice guys as "FRIENDS" only. You have to change the way you look at dating ,try being more**** and funny and always respect women. They seem to like guys who are funny.. well unless you're stinking rich then it's all you got. Be funny but not a clown. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:11:50 PM | (terran991 this is not to you)
To all you guys with this problem and to you my friend who is the nice guy who originally started this tread I want to give you some advice without being too nice. You are a wuss, dont take this the wrong way If I give you simpathy you will keep on being a wuss for the rest of your life. I don't want to repeat all the things people have already said who get it. Women always say how they want a nice guy who is respectful and carring and who shares his feelings, thats a bunch of BS. Now I don't mean for you to be rude and arrogant to them but be a man thats right a MAN. If your the wussie type, women will see you as just a friend and nothing more, sometimes not even that, because you are showing a sign of weakness to them and thats not attractive to women at all. The more you try and be nice the further you will push them away. I too have learned this the hard way untill one day I came accross a web site for people just like you. Since i can't put a web address on here I'll just tell you a name, look it up David DeAngelo, you can thank me later and good luck | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:39:16 PM | | I so totally agree with you terran991, I have been used and abused by those women playaz that "say" they are looking for a nice guy but in the end that is complete bull****. It seems as though many women don't really want a nice guy, at least not as a mate, it seems they want those hot guys that will treat the like s*** and we nice guys are there for them to cry on our shoulder and get a boost of confidence when they do get treated like crap. I've been there done that and to this day I will never understand why. Us nice guys always get overlooked, or the good women that have been so badly abused by those "hot" guys that treated the so badly don't trust us men at all anymore. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:44:16 PM | | I was thinking and just wanted to add a few more things, what you described how you were acting with her is called needy, would you honestly want to be with someone who kissed your *ss just to be with you. Probably not. Thats the same way for them, and thats giving your power away and turns women off real quick. People want to be equals and they always look for someone equal or someone higher in their social hierarchy. Dating is not logical at all I know, but unfortunatly our mommies never thought us to act like men we were raised as wussies. Now I do agree that its sad that nowadays being nice is considered weak. But times have changed and people have changed and thats just the way it is. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:56:25 PM | | Sorry there is a big difference in kising ass and being nice.But i agree about being nice to a woman.That does not cut it in this sick society.That is the reason i gave up on women when i turn 30.Tired of the friggin games....I keep hearing being a jerk is a bad person.Well that is up to opinion.All the jerks i know got plenty of women.It is so true women do not like nice guys...In this sick world you can not be nice in general. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 7:23:29 PM | | dont ever give up cause your only hurting yourself and taking away the chance to be happy but first you have to be ok with who you are than the rest comes alot easier | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 9:27:48 PM | | So sorry to hear what happened to you. Not all girls all like her-there are genuine 'women' aout there who don't play men like fiddles. I look for consistency in the content of our conversations and emails when they divulge information about themselves. If you find inconsistencies then get out of dodge! Give your heart a chance to mend but don't hold the sins of another spill into the future. Good luck! | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 163 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 9:46:31 PM | This is so plain and simple, those that say that "nice guys finish last" I feel just don't have any idea what they are saying and they are playing games with there own minds. That sounds so apathetic and stupid that it's just something one should ignore.
As I said elsewhere, unless one wants to learn the hard way that nice guys and nice girls DON"T finish last, those people that say they do are making themselves quit frankly look ridiculous. .. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 165 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 10:02:13 PM | LOL pella pella,ohhh......how naive of you to think such things.
Me? I'm a good guy, I don't judge where I finish as long as I finish right.
No offense to anyone but the people that say or think such a thing on another person (I'm talking in general here) are prooving that they are already behind the "nice guys"
I am a good guy with a cheerful spirit, however I know when I see wrong happening and I stand up for what I believe and can play fire with fire if need be.
Thats just me. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 10:05:32 PM | I'm sorry, but what in the heck are you talking about? I did not understand that at all, what do you mean finish right?
edit-
I'm still confused, what he heck, maybe he wasnt trying to insult me, or was he????
sorry if this qualifies as "chatting" but I dont understand what he was saying? how am I naive? who's thinking what on what other person??????
WTF??? | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 167 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 10:09:35 PM | ^
No I'm sorry, allow me to clarify that, right as in not WRONG. Innocent but so revealing I know. It takes a few words of a good guy at heart to establish a point, but may take 13 rounds of a "nice guy" and a "bad boy" to figure out what they really want out of life.
You'll understand this better in a few years maybe.
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 10:11:50 PM | | I know exactly what I want, friendship, and perhaps a relationship. I dont want sex, I dont want to "use" anyone of have them "use" me. I dont do what's wrong, or at least try as hard as I can not to. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 169 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/29/2005 10:15:09 PM | thats the correct stance to have on the issue.
Now who's next ? lol | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/30/2005 9:37:01 AM | | Nice guys do finish last for me anyways. They are the last guy I meet. The last guy I ever want to date. But they are the first guy I want to fall in love with. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 171 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/30/2005 12:19:05 PM | ^^^^Well.........???
If thats the case for you why not just find those nice guys now and try to aim for love(true love) instead of being sorry for it later?
You said it in a quit interesting way Daisy, know you just need to make it happen, and you'll be happy you did, and plus it will make things alot easier for both you and that nice guy. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:08:50 PM | | i liked what the one guy siad about telling her to f off haha. because i am telling u when u do that u be suprised at how much attenion u will get afterword. and just remember revenage is all soooooooooo sweet! gl brother | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:34:18 PM | Heres my thing. I am a fairly generous person and I really love to see the expression on peoples faces when I give a gift, treat for dinner or a round of drinks. I get personal satisfaction out of it. Why is that seen as a weakness? I don't need to buy anybody, I have a large amount of amazing friends. But I enjoy giving.
I love myself and my life. So it's not a confidence lacking issue. Just a decency thing. I really feel it's best to be good to people.
Someone tell me that it isn't a desirable thing for women to have a man never buys or does anything for them. Because those are the guys I think take what they have for granted.
Is it so wrong to show the one you love with all ur heart that you appreciate her?????
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 2:11:21 PM | | I agree toronaga 100%^^^^But what i am been reading on these threads and unfortunely had to deal with in my 20s that being nice does not cut it.According to this sick society if you are nice you either are wired or weak.Must be some truth to it.Women love jerks.Look around and see.If your nice your a friend.If your a jerk your a lover.As a result i gave up dating 10 years ago.And what i have seen i am not missing much. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 175 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 2:13:45 PM | Those women and men that reject a good guy or girl may one day need to reap with what they sowed. Thats just a fact and an observation.
I hope we all males and females can make the right decision instead of messing things up by making foolish ones. | |
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