| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 2:20:39 PM | | This site is chalk full of thirty somethings that rejected their nice guy equivalent . Now, noone wants anything to do with them. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 2:43:14 PM | | The main Reason nice guys finish last, ( and trust me I am one of those nice guys so I speak from experiance ) is "we" are the ones doing for others, holding the doors, being polite, being considerate of others before we usually think of ourselves. It is not a flaw in our character, it's nothing we have to do wrong, we give of ourselfs selflessly ,,,, and most "nice guys" usually do a pretty good job of having high self esteem because we are self suffiecent! most women, not all, go for the bad boys and hurt the nice guys because they think they can fix a problem in their lives or help them get it together. all the while They in turn end up getting used and abused in an endless cycle that us nice guys are always there to help them with... advice on what "they" (the bad boy) did wrong or how badly "they" (the woman) wanted it to work out. All the while they never see the Great thing they have always wanted to have,,,,sitting right in front of them wondering when they are going to get off their ass 's and open up there hearts to someone that really wouldn't ever hurt them. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 2:57:46 PM | Not kidding I am very new at this, - on one screen it said you emailed me, but I canot seem to find it????
Sorry if I am mistaken. - E | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:04:19 PM | | It's very true, nice guys do finish last. But if they ignore the good qualities about you, then it's all but fair to be a little (Bad) or rebellious to get the girl you want. If you're there for the girl you like as an emotional supporter and a good friend then hopefully she'll see that quality in you and realize that you're worth all the time in the world for her and she might go out with you in the longrun. I hope that wasn't confusing, my apologies if it was. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:36:25 PM | | I am sorry to here that you went though that experience, it is sad but true that more women these days are turning into females with no heart, but my view has allways been be yourself allways and if there isnt a spark let that person know right away, but do it gently, because in the end the person may feel rejected, but feeling rejected after one email is far better than losing your mind after months of caring for someone who really had no heart, or was not trying to hurt your feelings, what i dont get though is why some people get so angry when i respond to them with honesty about how i think they are not a good match for me, at least i write everyone back, its just common curtisy. Things will get better, dont worry, like my mom used to say dont where your heart on your sleeve. Believe me i hate to admit it she is right again i know from experience. | |
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dr1665
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Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 181 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:45:05 PM | I'm a nice guy and when I find myself face-to-face with a nice lady who says she wants someone like me, but then is only attracted to my polar opposite, I just tell myself, "Chicks are nuts!" I think it's the most theraputic when said like a cheesy radio DJ. Or the late, Harry Caray. "Heeeey! Chicks are nuts! Go Cubs!"  | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:00:36 PM | | Intermittent reinforcement is more appealing to people to than constant positive reinforcement. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 183 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:13:40 PM | I hate, manipulation , shallowness, lies, self centredness and superficiality. These things can hurt others and I hate them and I hope that EVERYONE DOING THESE THINGS STOP!
Nice guys don't finish last, people that say that are already WAY behind any nice guy or girl.
I'm just getting fuled up here lol. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, unless they buy my new book (just kidding)
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:25:07 PM | From what I have observed people who always do what is ethically right, in so far as they are able, are not as attractive to most women as men who only do so intermittantly. By this I mean that a man that is great half the time and a selfish jerk the other half of the time often will get far more attention from women. I am not advocating such behavior, I am simply making a statement of fact as I have observed it.
There is no point getting angry at people for telling you the truth. Maybe you don't agree, but its no reason to get bent out of shape. By the way there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny and the money left under your pellow by the tooth ferry was actually put there by your mother. No, I'm kidding with you. No offense intended, I'm just trying to use a little levity to lighten the mood of this thread.
I hate manipulation, shallowness, lies, self centeredness, and superficiality at least as much as you do. Yet, you have to look at how the real world really works. Sometimes you have to at least emulate behaviors that you would rather not, simply to avoid seeming weak or banal. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 185 | |
| Nice guys finish last, unless they buy my new book (just kidding)
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:36:19 PM | Hey I understand you, i am just saying also factually that these people are going to end up being miserable and THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT, regardless of what they say.
As for emulating behaviours that can be taken out of context by alot of folks out there , if they try to tell someone that you are weak and a wuss or something, you know what , that very same guy that a person saw as a nice kind guy may end up eventually after enough provocation a person one you wishes one never provoked in the first place. You see? Thats what concerns me. People don't think about this alot, they take the good people for granted until..... whatever. See thats how I see it. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, unless they buy my new book (just kidding)
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:55:27 PM | When I said "emulating behaviors" I was not referring to picking fights with people. I was referring to always doing right by the woman. It just doesn't pay to have pristine ethics with women. It goes unappreciated, and honestly most of them aren't worth the effort. The harder you try, the more they take you for granted.
Does that mean you should cheat and slap them around? No. I am saying just be inconsiderate enough to make a woman appreciate it when you are compassionate and considerate. If that little bit of insconsideration breaks the relationship, you are wasting your time and the person wasn't really invested to begin with. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, unless they buy my new book (just kidding)
Posted: 9/1/2005 2:33:21 AM | | and in doing so I'll get more attention from the girls on this website? hm... no I think I'd be happier being a true nice guy, I won't give up because I know shes closer now than she was yesterday, and getting closer by the day. Someday I'll find a girl who will see me for all the positives I have done and she will be worth all the good I did in my life. | |
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| Nice guys finish last, unless they buy my new book (just kidding)
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:05:07 AM | Nice guys give unconditional love without boundaries. The door is left open for someone with no respect for others to come in and push buttons.
People mistake conflict/drama for passion. If someone comes in the open door and creates a dramatic situation, then the person mistakes that for passion. And the nice guy holding the door open offering a mature respect for that person seems passionless.
As a nice guy, I'm not going to change who I am because I know that what makes me a nice guy is what makes me an impeccable person. But I do believe that fair and reasonable boundaries have to exist in every relationship that we are not prone to set in our relationships. They should be discussed openly early in a relationship and if the partner does not agree to them willingly, then the relationship should end before it goes on and hurt becomes inevitable. And in turn, our partners should also discuss and set their boundaries for us that we find fair and agreeable. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:28:17 PM | nice guys,,hmm that right up there with sweet innocent girls..lol
everyone want to be a nice guy and a sweet girl,but reality? we all have our moments of being not so nice and not very sweet.missing out has nothing to do with being a nice guy. | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 193 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:45:35 PM | Majestic,
I know what you meant above, I was just stating that when one keeps on ignoring and telling a nice person that he or she will not get anywhere with their attitudes, what do you thik that may do to them in the long run?? They start feeling like they are unwanted and unloved and unlovable until it boils up inside them more and more and then God forbid something not so nice will result from it.
That is what worries me and saddens me because I have read about people always being rejected and denied and ignored time after time and they silently keep it to themelves because if they say what they feel publically they are afraid to be ridiculed and NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY, and then it keeps on hurting them and putting them down until God forbid they do something horrible including commiting suicide because they felt hopless and lonely and unlovable based on what people and society in general was brainwashing into their minds!!!
Does this make alittle more sense. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:47:05 PM | Nice guys always end up in the......"let's be friends" category. It's like saying in other words "your not good enough to date exclusively while I look for greener pastures, so I'll just keep you on the side till I need you".
Well I say screw that, I am done being a good guy! I'll embrace the dark side and destroy all Jedies!!! LOL ok that's a bit off topic. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 4:52:59 PM | OK, first thing to learn is that love doesn't exist. It never did. It's just something that artists of all kind made up to get money and other stuff.
Secondly, women will step all over you, time after time. It's just the facts of life. No matter what you do. You can give them everything in the world and be as nice as you want, and they'll turn around, rip your heart out, throw it on the floor, and continuously stomp on it while you watch.
Thirdly, the only way you'll ever get a woman is by being a bad ass. Abuse them before they abuse you. Smack them around a bit, they'll learn they can't treat you bad.
Am I a little bitter? Maybe. Am I right? I believe that I am. After having women I love walk all over me for years, I thought it was time to learn something. Guess what, I did.
Just take control, throw the woman against the wall, and kiss her. She'll be yours for ever. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 8:09:08 PM | I'm just kind of laughing at all this in my mind and crying at the same time.
I had my last girlfriend put a cutiepie act on and then that all went to crap.
2 weeks into the relation, I found out that she went to a party and had sex with 4 different guys. She had sex with 3 out of 4 for money! I was a stupid geek who went headlong into the first girl that ever payed any attention to me.
There's a kind of rule I live by now and it has worked wonders.
Reduce all your expectations to zero. Don't have positive expectations but don't have negative ones either. That is just like saying "If something is too good to be true then don't worry about it but also don't play too much on it because it just might be". | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 197 | |
| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 8:19:39 PM | ^^Steve
She wasn't genuine from the beginning. She never had her heart into the relationship and she wasn't ready, based on what you stated. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/2/2005 9:02:11 PM | and then it keeps on hurting them and putting them down until God forbid they do something horrible including commiting suicide because they felt hopless and lonely
After my trials and tribulations in the dating world, I have learned that it is true that most women find me "unlovable". But such women are idiots, and essentially dishonest. Do I really care what an idiot thinks? Not really. Neither should you or any decent man.
I have looked at the opinions, judgments, and values of these women and compared them to my own. I find them generally lacking in substance or quality and have learned to value my own company more than I did previously. I actually have more self esteem. I know that my own values and thoughts are of a higher quality than I first believed. I have yet to meet a woman on this site (in my local area) who could get through one chapter of the last book I read.
Don't get me wrong. Some women are intelligent and have integrity and their company will be worthwhile. But they are rare to the extent that finding one who is available and would actually date a man like me would be about the same chance as finding a winning lottery ticket in the trash. So what I'm left sifting through are these annoying people on sites like this. I have better things to do with my time. I am an artist, a student, I work on computers, I read a great deal, and engage in other creative pursuits. If that sounds arrogant, well I don't give a s***.
These living barbi dolls with their empty heads, who skate through life on their looks are repulsive. Even their academic credentials (when they have them) are typically handed to them on a silver platter. I feel far lonelier in their company than I do when I am by myself where I am truly free.
What a typical woman thinks of me effects my self esteem about as much as what poodle or monkey does. They really only have one purpose and even that can be sublimated into more productive activities. If you don't think about women, you find you generally don't lust after them.
So take my advice, no woman is worth suicide. Don't value the opinion of one who does not have a rational hierarchy of moral values, integrity, or an intellect. Whether that be a man or a woman. You should be the ultimate judge of your own value, not some bimbo who is the president of the Jessica Simpson fan club. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/3/2005 3:47:55 AM | | Don't waste time judging beautiful, spoiled, superficial, "plastic" people. They have their issues too and it takes too much energy away to put anyone down. I have learned to accept more of these types of people but it certainly took some time. | |
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| Nice guys finish last.
Posted: 9/3/2005 4:03:47 AM | | I don't beleive in the nice guy finish last, because in the end it all boils down to someones interest regardless if you are a nice guy or a bad boy. I have seen both sides get dumped so what's next? I mean this is why I have never believed this nice guy finish last because interest plays the key role in it all If you don't have the interest in someone regardless if they are a nice guy or bad boy then that relationship is pretty much done. | |
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