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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?      Home login  
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 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 25
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Would the fact that I've only been with one man make you assume that I might be bad in bed?

Given what you’ve said about your marriage, I would assume the range of your sexual experience would be narrow, not that you were bad in bed.

Would you consider that a turn off?

Not at all, specially since you wished you could have done more, and you’re willing to work towards a more satisfying relationship.

It might be silly, but I do worry about how other men will perceive me if the topic of "how many people have you been with" arises.

That’s a private question you don’t have to answer ever, certainly not before you’ve been intimate. Besides, how-many-people is not a measure of your passion and sensuality, or your willingness to explore a wider palette of sexual delight. What matters is who you are now, not who you were then. One kiss can tell a man whether you’re present, attentive and engaged. That's more important than experience or technique. G’luck
 something_beyond
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 26
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:06:42 PM
No. I think it is better to be less promiscuous. Also God is awesome, and most people who wait also love God.
 Tinkerr Belle
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 27
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:05:25 PM
No. Sex is not an art where you show off your skills. If you really fancy your partner, you don't need experience or tutorials because it will be a wanton expression of your love which gets relayed through your lips, tongue, fingers, mouth, hands, legs, teeth...lol I am getting turned on now!
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 28
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:20:06 AM
Twice I have revealed my sexual inexperience to women I had recently started dating. Once I was dumped and the other started treating me like her gay bff. So, for a lot of women it is a big deal.
 Solomonlike
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 29
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:52:51 AM
Would the fact that I've only been with one man make you assume that I might be bad in bed?

NO ! Experience with multiple partners is often times an indicator of serious issues. I'd advise not to assume either way. Very much likely you have a lot less baggage and more potential than most. Your husband being "lame" most likely has NOTHING to do with you.


Would you consider that a turn off?


No, more likely closer to a turn on especially if you've delt with the emotional issues and habits of your ex. You are obviously a blank slate but not an overused chalkboard for certain. As a teacher, chalk/dry erase boards that are new or mildly used tend to be far better than those that have been marked on and erased for so long you can read the old stuff that has attempted to be erased. You are much more likely to understand and experience a more natural and satisfying sexual experience from a more holistic(mind/body/spirit/emotion) approach.

Regardless of perception, you are a rare exception to the norm these days. Treat yourself accordingly and require your significant other or interest to do the same. Expect both men and women to attempt to tear you down and influence you to change and become more of the norm. I'd advise you to embrace yourself and situation as a wonderful thing.
There are basically 2 schools of thought about sex and dating. The body oriented camp that focuses largely although not primarily on the perception of sex from a more physical thing. I believe that perception reflects only a part of the road map and because of it most who travel using it find themselves lost...but in denial.

Then there are those who seem to be rare who share a perception of sex being an interconnected combination of emotion with spirit with physiology with psychology with committed relationship and in an equal balance. I believe that is the full road map with the best GPS to success.

Most seem to be in the more physical camp. Do not expect them to be necessarily better than your ex in the long run although it would appear that almost anything could be better than him. Do not use your ex hubby as a barometer...he has set the bar far , far, far too low. Expect the spectacular and incredible instead. Therefor it shouldn't matter that most men want experience and/or sex early and from a more physical perspective. They have but a fraction of the roadmap. I suspect that you don't want "most" but rather something with someone particularly special for you and to you. Therefor it doesn't matter what the masses think or how they proceed...what matters is what you want that is best for you.
Before dating I suggest you choose what perception is right for you and choose your significant other based upon a shared perception or school of thought. Talk freely, openly and honestly about any and everything.Expect and require depth in answers, never be afraid to ask questions...and follow up if you wish. A man that truly wants you that truly is interested in developing a real relationship with you wants to open up to you without fear as well. Those who don't likely are simply not right for you.
Good luck.
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