| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/15/2005 8:47:04 PM | I dated someone in the past that gave GLORIOUS massages.....(I'm SUCH a massage whore! lol) He gave 99% of the massages....I did the 1%. He loved it. So did I.
Because I have (what some would consider) a fairly aggressive personality..it's nice to be treated like a 'lady' in these kinds of ways.....
Here's to the UK! | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/16/2005 5:20:40 AM | Just to add a pointer or two here.
Being Gentlemanly isn't JUST about being that way with a Lady you are escorting, it applies to your behaviour at all times, to both sexes.
Nor should it be obvious you are on your 'best behaviour' it should be so much of a habit as to seem a natural part of your make up...including 'Please' and 'Thank you' when asking for something and receiving what it was you asked for.
Even my Father refused to subscribe to the Victorian rule that 'one should never use these words with servants' ie shop assistants, waiters etc. One gives an order, one expects service is how it was supposed to be done...and seems to be the norm on this side of the pond !
However..adding those two words to your vocabulary, and using them, certainly makes for much better service..try it and see for yourself. | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/16/2005 9:32:01 AM | Poshrat, I think you've hit the nail on the head.
I went to dinner once with a man who brought me flowers, opened doors for me, was a good conversationalist and a polite listener. Everything seemed great...until I noticed how he was treating the waiter.
Now, the restaurant we were in was an exceptionally popular, busy one, and we were there on a Friday night during peak dinner hours. Of course the service was a little slow. The waiter explained to us as we sat down that the place was unusually busy, and apologized. He was very polite and, considering how busy the restaurant was, unusually attentive. Our glasses never went empty, the food was very hot when it reached our table, and the waiter did it all with a smile and a pleasant manner. The guy I was dating, however, never acknowledged the waiter with anything shy of a glare. No please. No thank you. He left almost no tip, at a fairly nice restaurant.
No matter how nice a guy is to me, I also pay attention to how he treats others. The guy who ordered with a 'please', accepted his meal with a 'thank you', met my parents with a smile, and chatted with the checker at the grocery store? He impressed me. He didn't just treat me with respect (believe me, he did that, too!) he treated everyone like a human being deserving of dignity and recognition. | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/16/2005 2:51:33 PM | Thank you, Songblaze.
One other thing to mention, on the subject of a tip, if you are dining in a more elite place...*grins* over here it would have table cloths and as near a full set of silver in the place setting as possible..not arrive with the meal, and be wrapped in a napkin.
The waiter/waitress delivers the meal..and deserves a tip for pleasant service..
BUT behind the scenes is a chef...remember to tip him/her as well!
Especially if travelling abroad where fast food is frowned upon, most places prepare a meal from scratch. | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/17/2005 11:12:28 AM | | I would have to say it is important. I myself always try to act like a gentleman. Chivalry I have noticed is dieing off as more people are being brought up without any morals or decency. All I can say is keep true to yourself and you will find that truely special person. Actually I have to keep telling myself that all the time. I know the world would defiantely be a better place if people were not so selfish and stuck up. The days of the gentlemen are definately not dead, we are just hard to find. Have a good day ya all. | |
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| An Answer
Posted: 8/17/2005 11:26:35 AM | Magic Life, I have always tried to be very respectful, polite, thoughtful and empathetic with others (and at times I get fed up and let the sh*! fly) but the truth of the matter is in this day and age that MANY people are extremely harsh, rude, don't have any couth or manners and also have a lot of baggage so they come across extremely rude. I will often write a thank you for replying but I don't think we would make a good match then I block them. Sounds like I am cutting them off and yep I am. I've been on the receiving end of many really rude emails from men and I don't want to deal with it. Sometimes if I am really busy I just delete. It gets to be a full time job answering tons of email. You can't possibly want to go out with everyone and just because you tell someone you're not interested doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. They are just insecure and are women haters. I've had guys that aren't interested and don't respond to me and I don't flip out at all. I just take it that I'm just not their cup of tea. I move on. I have enough self esteem that I don't let it bother me one bit. There's way too much anger and cynicism out there from men who have been deeply hurt. Let me set the record straight here, I am not your ex-wife nor your ex-girlfriend so don't take your anger from them out on me. If you're still that angry over and ex you shouldn't be dating. No fair to unload your previous baggage on a new interest. Lastly, you can't please everybody no matter how nice you are so just be who you are and if they don't like it then tuff. They can move on to someone else. Hope that helps. | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/17/2005 4:09:09 PM | Kindheart32, oh yes, yes, YES, I agree with you 100%. Chivarly isn't dead and there are very sweet, kind gentlemen out there. I really appreciate a man acting like a gentleman. It is so refreshing to have a door opened for me and little acts of kindness go a very long way. I, like the previous girl (sorry I forgot your name) look for how a guy treats others, especially waiters and waitresses at a restaurant. They work very hard for a living and deserve appreciation. So yes guys, by all means, open doors, take off your hats when you are inside, say please and thank you, be respectful and I think the vast majority of us out there (even after having lived through the feminist movement) still appreciate chivalry. Applause to men!!!!!!! And the older gentleman who spoke about manners and treating others with kindness- big applause to you too!!!  | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/19/2005 2:26:24 PM | Yes Darlin' it is! In fact my son, who's 5 is in "gentleman training". Every morning when we leave, he opens the door for me, tells me "ladies first" and he always tells me that I'm pretty, or gives me another yet, equally nice compliment. I miss the days when guys paid for dinner, without expecting to get laid on the first date! Now it seems like all they want is sex. I weent on a date with what I thought was a "decent" guy, he paid for the drinks, but, when we got back to my place(my son was with my parents) all he wanted was sex! On the very first date? I don't think so(although I have to admit, sometimes I actually consider it..lol) But even if it's given, it should never be expected. | |
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seirra
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Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 37 | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/20/2005 11:22:59 AM | | Love a man who opens doors for me,,,or *attempts* to walk on my left side nearest the road ( i say attempts cuz im deaf in my left ear so i politley tell him to walk on my right lol),,,who gives me a nice goodnight kiss at my front door that doesn't last 4 hours (tho sometiems you really want it to haha). Romantic,,sweet,,charming. | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/20/2005 1:31:59 PM | rarely is the gentleman found anymore, and rare is the lady who would frown upon it!
All of you had great posts and this is the perfect summation.
Oh, and poshrat's comment about walking on the outside on the sidewalk--I always notice that! When a man intentionally moves to the outside (and doesn't mention it) I'm immediately impressed--and flattered! :) | |
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| a question for ladies
Posted: 8/20/2005 3:27:42 PM | | To reply to both Desert Serenade and MagicLife.I think what you both did was wonderful.Desert keep up the chivaly ,there's alot of women out there that do appreciate it...I know I do.MagicLife don't ever stop being who you are or stop other people on here to get to know you just because of one person.You were being polite and if he doesn't understand that....OH WELL...If there was only more chivaly and politeness in the world.Keep it up and never stop because there is people in the world that do appreciate it.I'M ONE OF THEM. | |
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| a question for ladies
Posted: 8/20/2005 3:47:16 PM | | So true Walker.There is nothing wrong with a man or women holding the door open.I do it all the time whether thier young or old,and on a date. | |
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| a question for ladies
Posted: 8/20/2005 4:56:16 PM | Yes gentlemanly behavior and chivalry is a good thing.
If a guy can't take the time to hold the door open for me, then he's usually not going to take the time to take care of me sexually.
I don't usually believe in gender roles at all. But if I look like a lady and act like one...you should look like a gentleman AND act like one. | |
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| a question for ladies
Posted: 8/20/2005 8:45:46 PM | i open doors
pull out chairs at the table
give flowers
IF YOUR SPECIAL TO ME | |
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| is gentlemanly behavior and chivalry still important?
Posted: 8/23/2005 7:15:23 AM | Jeeze, I hope chivalry isn't dead. Tis hard being nice, when people look at you and automatically judge you as "hoodlum scum", but it also makes it all more satisfying, the shocked look on their face as this underground scocialite is polite, smiles and opens the door.
Perspective... tis a grand thing. The freakier I look, the more impact it seems to have, but people are usually to shocked to even give a thank you, which is sorta rude, but still I try.
I wasn't really raised this way, but it just makes sense. Do unto others and all that jazz, just makes sense.
I find most people don't trust chivalry, they think I want something for bein polite... well I do... A thank you or a smile will suffice. | |
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