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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 8/26/2005 9:09:14 AM |
Fortunately I would never write to someone that calls others "losers". She has salacious pics, is looking for an intimate encounter and then says "don't contact me". What a frigg'n egotisticle tease!
Ahh get over yourself. I've stated in my profile numourous times that I'm here for the forums, not here for the dating anymore. When I "WAS" looking for something, it was an Intimate Encounter. the people who are looking for "talk/email", "friends", "hang out" or whatever other option it is don't kapeache the point of not wanting to talk
So I'm sorry, your royal highness, they don't have a "Forums" option for me to pick. Does that appease you? if you actually read my profile, you'd see WHY i called people losers. And yes, just like many of the women on here as well, whatever you do, some arrogant man/woman is going to freak out because you didn't respond.
ualume said it best:
Funny, when I don't reply to the obvious "jerks" that message me (not that there are many), I'm a rude, ignorant little pi$$ant.
If I don't reply to the friendly, yet totally creepy messages (actually.. there's many of those), I'm still a rude, ignorant little pi$$ant.
If I don't reply to a member of the self-styled "nice guy" brigade... yes, you guessed it, I'm still a rude, ignorant little pi$$ant.
If I reply to a member to tell him 'thanks, but no'...
... oh wait for it my little tulips... *drum roll*, I'm still a rude, ignorant little pi$$ant. Or Worse. Mostly worse. Sometimes even in a forum thread! Gosh!
No reply IS an answer and depending on how you approached making contact with me, likely the only reply you're going to get (unless, of course, you give me a vibe that rejection won't make you loony). Pretend for a minute that all people are sane and deal with it.
FYI, that last bit's directed at anyone who's angered by no answers.
I don't send out a whole heaping LOT of messages to guys who tickle my fancy, but when I do and then no reply is forthcoming, common sense tells me "he's not interested". I don't require a reason and he most certainly owes me (a stranger) NOTHING.
Now feel free to chime in about the whole me = "a rude, ignorant little pi$$ant" thing, but I know better.
Oh, don't forget the whole "yeah, I can see why they don't reply to you" thing, because I never get tired of that insult.
Well let me add to that Ula.... even when you specifically write in your PROFILE what you're looking for, or NOT looking for, you still get called an "egostical tease"  It's your attitude right there, loyal, that makes women not want to respond. You don't know them, don't assume that you do. Instead of saying "oh yeah, I got her figured out" realize that if you don't like her profile, MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE. Geez... how hard of a concept is that to figure out? But instead, people feel the need to say something. Why do you think I had that nasty profile in the first place? If anything at least you had the right idea by saying that you'd never respond to someone who had a profile like "mine", but you still couldn't resist making a rude comment, could you?
Did I ever say anything rude to you? No, I didn't. The people who my profile is directed at know who they are. Did it say your name on it? No it didn't. So don't go assuming things about me.
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79dude
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Joined: 6/8/2004
Msg: 102 | |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 8/26/2005 10:20:43 AM |  ^^^^^
ok now i feel like doing a bad metaphor ...if you're lookin to buy a car, and you're test drivin a bunch until you find the right one... would you kick in the doors of the ones you had test driven but didnt keep? no, you'd just leave it alone and go try another one
...as much as im reminding myself here of the brown-nose thread LOL i think that i do actually just agree with touch me | |
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LANGA
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Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 105 | |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:19:21 PM | Thats just not right and very wrong for them to do that.
I am also alittle puzzled , and try not to get over me for this , but I've noticed when people post a genuine concern , most here are against that person and rubb it in, like the madame above me with that mask. (No offense to you hun).
if you repley to someones posts, especially a serious and genuine one like this, atleast try to put a dignified answer up and try to help the person if you can ok.??? ..... thanks! | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 8:41:15 PM | To the OP, take my approach. Don't send messages. I never do. Just sit back and let them come to you. That's what I do. That way I know that this person is interested. I may be attracted to them, or not, but at least I am not wasting my time throwing darts at a dart board. I don't chase women. Make your profile attractive enough, and the sincere ones will come to you.
There are a lot of princesses here that post seductive photos just to see how many admirers they can get. It's an ego gratification thing. Some women love that. There is no intent to find love so when you send a message to them telling them how beautiful they are, they just smile, delete the message, and put another notch in their belt. Many of them have boyfriends already. The pictures are to make you wish you had her, and to make the other women wish they were her. Ego is a very powerful motivator. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:00:25 PM | Laverboy what if the Ms is waitin on the Mr to make contact?what if she realllllyyyy likes you and isn't confident in e mailing you.
Why mention a persons looks in your message,a simple hi hi sometimes will suffice. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 9:06:45 PM | | Well that may be the case sometimes, but we are dealing with grown-ups here. If she likes me, she can send a message. It's free and painless. Women do. If they don't, it's because she is not interested. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:35:24 PM |
Don't send messages. I never do. Just sit back and let them come to you. That's what I do. That way I know that this person is interested. I may be attracted to them, or not, but at least I am not wasting my time throwing darts at a dart board. I don't chase ...
Yup, I agree....we should ALL follow his lead..... | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:50:15 PM | Yes ,yes yes.....and when your profile says youre "off the market"...
you receive even more mail........
but who said online dating is supposed to be logical....
humanity revels in paradoxes | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/11/2005 10:53:03 PM | Exactly my point
and when your profile says youre "off the market"...
you receive even more mail........
Took down the pics, deleted profile and state "Forum only" and getting more mail than I ever have....talk about BIZARRE! | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/12/2005 5:32:38 AM | Take my advice. Make your profile as attractive as possible and just wait. You may not get the hotties that you would have thrown a dart at, but those hotties ain't going to respond to your dart anyway. So no loss.
I do the same on lavalife. And I have gone out with lots of attractive women. When I send out smiles on Lavalife, I get none of them back. So lesson learned. Play their game. Play the game where you sit back and they come to you.
Also remember what we all know and discuss on POF, women find guys that seem less available more attractive. Test this theory out. Go into a singles bar wearing a wedding ring and try your luck. That ring means you are less available. You will find that women are now more attracted to you.
By contacting a woman, you are saying, "I'm attracted to you, please date me." For some women, especially the hotties that resemble BluEyedGal, that is a big turn-off. You have just torpedoed your boat.
And of course, like I said, many of the hotties here are not looking anyway.
Women don't want to hear this of course. This advice turns the whole dating world and basic sexual biology on its ear. LOL | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/12/2005 9:00:57 PM | | Personally, I don't feel obligated to respond to every person who writes me. It may seem rude to some, but honestly, if I don't respond, just because you 'took the time' to write me, it isn't rude. Your 'taking the time' does not automatically now obligate me to 'take time' to say I'm not interested, for you took a risk when you wrote me. I may or may not feel anything, or see anything in your profile that warrants a response. Frankly, so many profiles are so poorly written, and with such a half-hearted effort, coupled with all the poor spelling and typos, that I really don't want to waste my time. If I read it and delete it, then you have your answer. So, it could be the lack of any information or effort in your profile, it could be the poor spelling/grammar in the email that was sent to me (and I've gotten some unbelievable ones!), it could be that I just don't find you that attractive, etc... why do I really need to write that back. I do write some back if I can, if there is some effort in the profile and some info there, then I will if I have time, but really, if there is no interest, there is no interest. | |
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| tired..
Posted: 9/12/2005 10:28:25 PM | frankly I am getting a little bit tired also.
I may not be the most attractive person out there, but I do try hard to atlest get a conversation with a person only to be ignored.
if anyone out there is willing to maybe IM me and help me with this, I would really appreciate it. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/13/2005 4:40:08 PM | | They get too many messages and all the messages say about the same thing. Try to mention a specific interest that you both share and show some excitement and positivity so that she really believes you would like to talk to her specifically over the other profiles you have seen. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/19/2005 3:24:44 PM | | I've found that while men are generally trying to be nice, we do get the ones who feel that a gentle "thank you for your compliment, but I'm not interested" is an opening for encouraging conversation, or even a nasty "your crazy like the rest of them" notes. I just don't respond if I am not interested to avoid the wackos. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/24/2005 10:38:43 PM | @Cutiepeye
I understand your point and realize there are some bad apples out there that give women a bad impression of men. If I get a reply that states "no thanks", I respect it and move on.
I'm not getting 100's of notes like others, but respond to all that write to me. I like to think of everyone as individuals and show everyone respect.
@Laver
That's some interesting logic, but the flaw is it will only work for the beautiful people. Obviously the bottomline is physical attraction. If someone is more average looking they may never get any responses, so they have to make the first move. Life insn't fair...se la vi....
Typically when I find someone I'd like to write to, I go through their profile and find a common interest and mention it as an ice-breaker. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Again generally and realistically an attractive pic will go a lot farther than any message will.... | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/24/2005 10:58:17 PM | I just don't think there is any nice way to reject someone. I hate rejection and would frankly rather get a non-answer. Plus I am busy. I don't live at the computer . . . well, I do but I am actually working.
Also sometimes I am just too busy to think about meeting anyone new. So I might save a profile in the off chance I might get a life in a month or so. If the guy has someone by then it's my misfortune. But I think it is unfair to encourage an exchange I cannot commit time to. And this time of year that is difficult (which I state in my profile.)
Everyone can choose their comfort zone as far as responding. The ones that feel a spark from a profile or pic will respond. If someone does not, doesn't mean they are horrible, rude folk, just means it ain't there for them. Turning it into a big uncomfortable exchange is so needless. Save that for the bars.
Rap | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/25/2005 9:56:23 AM | Forgive me if I might be touching on what has been said already and pardon if I may upset or sound like an ass, but I AM a man, so that should be taken into consideration.
In the past I've been on several online "matchmaking" systems (and have been fortunate enough to have had some good relationships from them), and have grown to expect the "read/delete" that often happens when a woman reads my email. It's fairly expected, unfortunately as I understand some of the situations the women have to put themselves through because of the few jerks that are on here.
As far as opening lines go, I rarely try to be overly clever, nor do I say anything uncouth (in my opinion), but rather simply ask a question about their bio, or their lives that would eventually start a conversation.
From THAT start of a conversation, a dialogue that will (hopefully) lead to a first date.
Before getting that far, I've been dismayed at the amount of work I have to do to get people to write something substantial in their email. After trying to get them to talk about something, ANYTHING, I will eventually give up and do my OWN version of "Read/delete".
I may jump through hoops to get a woman's attention to notice me, but be damned if I'm going to set myself on fire, jump through hoops, while running over a lake of gasoline to do the same thing.
The only thing *I* honestly ask for is that once a reply is made, is to make a true effort for a conversation, a dialogue, SOMETHING to talk about.
If a simple conversation can't be handled in a medium that is relatively easy to type out, then how does one expect to get to know each other to see whether or not they're truly compatible?
If this isn't done at the very outset when a woman DOESN'T read/delete, then perhaps a high percentage of us are doomed to be single for a substantial length of time. | |
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| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/25/2005 9:56:54 AM | Forgive me if I might be touching on what has been said already and pardon if I may upset or sound like an ass, but I AM a man, so that should be taken into consideration.
In the past I've been on several online "matchmaking" systems (and have been fortunate enough to have had some good relationships from them), and have grown to expect the "read/delete" that often happens when a woman reads my email. It's fairly expected, unfortunately as I understand some of the situations the women have to put themselves through because of the few jerks that are on here.
As far as opening lines go, I rarely try to be overly clever, nor do I say anything uncouth (in my opinion), but rather simply ask a question about their bio, or their lives that would eventually start a conversation.
From THAT start of a conversation, a dialogue that will (hopefully) lead to a first date.
Before getting that far, I've been dismayed at the amount of work I have to do to get people to write something substantial in their email. After trying to get them to talk about something, ANYTHING, I will eventually give up and do my OWN version of "Read/delete".
I may jump through hoops to get a woman's attention to notice me, but be damned if I'm going to set myself on fire, jump through hoops, while running over a lake of gasoline to do the same thing.
The only thing *I* honestly ask for is that once a reply is made, is to make a true effort for a conversation, a dialogue, SOMETHING to talk about.
If a simple conversation can't be handled in a medium that is relatively easy to type out, then how does one expect to get to know each other to see whether or not they're truly compatible?
If this isn't done at the very outset when a woman DOESN'T read/delete, then perhaps a high percentage of us are doomed to be single for a substantial length of time. | |
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