| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/25/2005 9:57:08 AM | Forgive me if I might be touching on what has been said already and pardon if I may upset or sound like an ass, but I AM a man, so that should be taken into consideration.
In the past I've been on several online "matchmaking" systems (and have been fortunate enough to have had some good relationships from them), and have grown to expect the "read/delete" that often happens when a woman reads my email. It's fairly expected, unfortunately as I understand some of the situations the women have to put themselves through because of the few jerks that are on here.
As far as opening lines go, I rarely try to be overly clever, nor do I say anything uncouth (in my opinion), but rather simply ask a question about their bio, or their lives that would eventually start a conversation.
From THAT start of a conversation, a dialogue that will (hopefully) lead to a first date.
Before getting that far, I've been dismayed at the amount of work I have to do to get people to write something substantial in their email. After trying to get them to talk about something, ANYTHING, I will eventually give up and do my OWN version of "Read/delete".
I may jump through hoops to get a woman's attention to notice me, but be damned if I'm going to set myself on fire, jump through hoops, while running over a lake of gasoline to do the same thing.
The only thing *I* honestly ask for is that once a reply is made, is to make a true effort for a conversation, a dialogue, SOMETHING to talk about.
If a simple conversation can't be handled in a medium that is relatively easy to type out, then how does one expect to get to know each other to see whether or not they're truly compatible?
If this isn't done at the very outset when a woman DOESN'T read/delete, then perhaps a high percentage of us are doomed to be single for a substantial length of time. | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 9/25/2005 9:57:25 AM | Forgive me if I might be touching on what has been said already and pardon if I may upset or sound like an ass, but I AM a man, so that should be taken into consideration.
In the past I've been on several online "matchmaking" systems (and have been fortunate enough to have had some good relationships from them), and have grown to expect the "read/delete" that often happens when a woman reads my email. It's fairly expected, unfortunately as I understand some of the situations the women have to put themselves through because of the few jerks that are on here.
As far as opening lines go, I rarely try to be overly clever, nor do I say anything uncouth (in my opinion), but rather simply ask a question about their bio, or their lives that would eventually start a conversation.
From THAT start of a conversation, a dialogue that will (hopefully) lead to a first date.
Before getting that far, I've been dismayed at the amount of work I have to do to get people to write something substantial in their email. After trying to get them to talk about something, ANYTHING, I will eventually give up and do my OWN version of "Read/delete".
I may jump through hoops to get a woman's attention to notice me, but be damned if I'm going to set myself on fire, jump through hoops, while running over a lake of gasoline to do the same thing.
The only thing *I* honestly ask for is that once a reply is made, is to make a true effort for a conversation, a dialogue, SOMETHING to talk about.
If a simple conversation can't be handled in a medium that is relatively easy to type out, then how does one expect to get to know each other to see whether or not they're truly compatible?
If this isn't done at the very outset when a woman DOESN'T read/delete, then perhaps a high percentage of us are doomed to be single for a substantial length of time. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 10/7/2005 7:17:31 PM | Well shock me pink...you'll luv this Gabby. Sent a nice no thanks to a guy; got a vulgar response... no surprise there. BUT, I decided enough is enough,  so I responded telling him just who did he think he was blah blah blah AND then I blocked him. Well, doesnt he open a new profile just to send me an apology !! Maybe we ladies should do this more often so a few of the rotten guys start behaving better!  | |
|
| |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 12/1/2005 11:17:20 AM | i read what you have to say TOUCH ME, and i agree with you, most men , dont read, lol hahaha thats why most of us get lost on the road, seriously you pictures arnt slutty at all, yes ur a sexy gurl, and any straight guy, will stop to admire, but it aint like u got a pic of u bieng gang banged on here..........
guys or girls that think they need to " put you in ur place" are shallow, people with way too much time on there hands, lol lets put em to work!!!
i aint saying im perfect, lol im a guy, none of us are, but its sad to see how stupid some of us are!!!
that all i wanted to say, i was gonna email this to you , but u dont want emails, and i respect that.
i do wish u a wonderful day, i realy do
Take Care | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 12/1/2005 11:30:41 AM | | Personally, I would rather have a woman simply say, "No thanks". At least I would know that she received and read my letter. I have had computer trouble in the past, as we all have at one time or another. If I get no answer, I don't know if her computer is down, she is on vacation for a month, or what. I don't do well with the old "cold shoulder" routine. We men are not mind readers. Just say what you mean and you will be surprised how well it is generally received. If the guy won't hear what you are saying, then block him. At least he will know why. Hey, maybe he will even modify his behaviour if he gets enough negative feedback. :-) | |
|
chinzy
|
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 137 | |
| |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 1/21/2006 2:14:43 PM | I don't mind that women don't reply.. girls and guys can't be expected to be attracted to everyone that walks upto them. Have any of you met someone who was mutually attracted to you on first glance? It happens once in a blue moon and when it does the experience is absolutely fricking awesome. I think it worth the wait, so advertise yourself as often as you can and if you get rejected well maybe s/he wasn't the one for you.
 | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 4:41:19 AM | I ALWAYS reply... even if they are 1000 miles away and not my type.. if someone takes the time to write you message its just good etiquette to at least say thank you but I am not interested... I cant tell you how many guys reply to that by saying "thank you for at least replying" ....they appreciate the manners....
Now on the other hand.. men also dont reply....its NOT just women...had it happen a number of times to me....!!!!  | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 5:34:04 AM | I reply because it’s a social setting and I’ve come to expect some level of communication. Though I respect people personal choice to respond or not, however being anti-social on a social site is pretty counter intuitive.
Its kind like those people that go to a bar to be alone, go figure. | |
|
| |
Catwm
|
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 142 | |
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 5:40:53 AM | Maybe someone should ask pof to install those generic remarks to send to emails like:
1. I am not interested
2. I am seeing someone and only online for the forums
3. I think you are ugly
4. I am really married
5. I am ugly
6. My cat has better typing skills than you do
7. Too bad, I am dating 100 other people on pof
8. I lied about my profile
omg............................................... | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:50:23 AM | catwm said:
6. My cat has better typing skills than you do
Oh. My. God.
My monitor has a nice sheen of pepsi on it now....thanks.
*reaches for paper towel to clean it off, giggles again, drops the windex*
*snicker* | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:07:57 PM | 911 girlie girl, kinda hard for you to reply to someone 1000 miles away when they can't send you a message cause you have your message screener screening for people who only live close by...ohhhh...did we catch someone fibbing?...
jk with ya...
just wanted to send ya a message to let ya know I liked your profile...it was quite funny...
was also gonna send you a joke too, but alas..I must live 1001 miles away...lol
 | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:27:28 PM | Hey, I'm going to have to agree on that. I've sent messages to a bunch of ladies here on 'plenty of fish' and I still have yet to hear a response back. Maybe it's my username that they're not responding, i don't know. I'm an honest type of guy who can be truthful with the ladies. I've written real nice messages. I'm wondering if they might be a bit shy or a bit scared to respond? I'm not sure what their reason is. Any way it sure would be nice to at least get some type of response rather than "no response" at all. It make me think that some or most of these gals don't care or just don't wish to respond at all. If they don't wish to respond I think that's just plain rude : - ( !! If they do wish to respond, they could at least say something to the effect that they do or do not want to message back and forth ( I would hope that they would : - ). If they do want to message me, they could at least say that they would like to get to know me better or meet somewhere ( park, restaurant, mall ) to talk about each others interests.
Well, I've said my bit. I hope this sparks some interest in the ladies to take a bit more action into messaging me or those other guys that get very little messages back. | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 6:32:14 PM |
The most common answer you'll see to this question is that women have been sh*t all over for replying "not interested". Hence, a number of them don't reply anymore. That or they get too many to reply to all of them.
Exactly, I have tried to be polite and tell guys that I am not interested, or that they are not what I am looking for, only to be told things like :
"well, I just looking for a chat, you're too fat and ugly anyway"
"yea whatever fattie"
etc
I don't know why a man would show interest, and then while politely telling him that I am not interested, suddenly call me names! Why would they contact me in the first place? And if they think that someone of my size is fat, they have some serious issues. | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/27/2006 7:15:21 PM |
Exactly, I have tried to be polite and tell guys that I am not interested, or that they are not what I am looking for, only to be told things like :
"well, I just looking for a chat, you're too fat and ugly anyway"
"yea whatever fattie"
etc
I don't know why a man would show interest, and then while politely telling him that I am not interested, suddenly call me names! Why would they contact me in the first place? And if they think that someone of my size is fat, they have some serious issues.
unfortunately i am sure that does happen to many women here....sorry it happened to you butterflygrrl29!
and i can understand your trepidation about sending out rejections when you fear a vitriolic response from some jerkoff!
so now i do not feel bad at all when i see a read email that has not been replied to. or a message that has been read/deleted. i can understand the position that the woman has been placed in.
all you can really do is try your best and hope the woman responds. and if she does not, don't take it personally and try someone else.
 | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:18:33 PM | This isn't meant as an attack on anyone, but rather as something I've noticed and that many men (or women) might also mistake when messaging someone, is what someone has written up in their profile in the "about me" section.
For instance, if a woman has something in her profile about being extremely easy going and loves meeting and chatting with everyone, that's a green light for a guy to think "hey, she'll respond". But then when that person ends up doing the read/delete thing, the person who messaged them starts wondering what the deal is.
For me, before I message someone I generally look at what they have written in their profile. If the "tone" of the profile makes it sound like someone who likely wouldn't give me the time of day, I won't message them. But if someone puts things like "love to hear from anyone" or "I'm very easy going and easy to get along with", etc. then I'll give them a shout. But the problems arise when that woman doesn't act "as advertised", so to speak.
So my comment - take it as advice, critisism, whatever - is for the ladies. If you're going to "advertise" yourself as easy going or very friendly and willing to chat with ANYBODY, then make sure you're willing to live up to that advertisement. If not and you'd rather be very, very selective with who you respond to (and that's your choice), please, for the love of everything on this Earth, do NOT put that stuff in your profile. It sends the wrong message. | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:23:10 PM | | even sometimes when you respond to say thanks and only thanks, they try to keep the conversation going....I think saying, thanks but I'm not interested is kind of hurtful...it makes the person think...."why is she not interested"....I'd rather just not reply at all. | |
|
| why woman don't reply to a proper message?
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:34:55 PM |
I think saying, thanks but I'm not interested is kind of hurtful...it makes the person think...."why is she not interested"....I'd rather just not reply at all.
I think my thing is I always compare it to real life, and thus why I disagree with your statement.
For me it would be like walking up to a woman on the street that I don't know. If I say hello or ask her out, I'd much rather her say "Sorry, I'm just not interested" than have her not even say a single word, turn her back on me and ignore me as if I wasn't standing there. And that's how I look at it on here.
Maybe that's the wrong way of looking at things, maybe it's an apples and oranges situation, but for me that's how I view things. | |
|
Home
login 
