| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 1/20/2006 3:54:18 PM | Carol27, just a curious question...
I was just curious if you thought it would be fair for both parents to claim their child on income tax? Maybe a percentage based on who is the primary provider, like 60/40, 70/30, etc?
You yourself have mentioned that child support is a fraction of what it costs to raise the child, which I agree, but it is still a fraction. Why should the primary caregiver be allowed to claim the child 100% every single year when the secondary IS providing for that child as well (well, at least in cases where they DO, lol)?
I myself don't agree with the every other year ruling. I think that's crazy as you do. However, maybe both parents should work out a deal where the primary care giver claims the child and then they split it on a percentage basis (only what the child would give you extra).
To be honest, you could even "play" the government if you wanted to. Have both parents fill out the numbers WITHOUT the child and then WITH the child. Whichever parent would wind up getting more money by adding the child, let that parent file!!! Then split the money somehow!!! :-) | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 1/20/2006 4:45:04 PM | Quack, although your idea of joint custody sounds great in theory, it does not always work that way. My exhusband quit working when he got joint custody of our kids. He had paid me support before but it had become sporadic. I took legal action to get the back pay that was owed to us. He filed for joint custody so he would not have to pay support.(Which is not to say he did not want to spend time with the kids, but I feel that was the primary issue).
So now I have to give him money or send over food and clothes with the girls on their weeks with their father because he is too lazy to work. The reason he gave the judge? He quit work to "give the girls the time they do not get from their work-aholic mother". The reason he gave me for quitting work? He was "burned out".
So I am a little bitter from personal experience. I am sure there are situations where it can work well, I just do not happen to be involved in one of those smoother situations. | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 2/9/2006 5:52:41 AM | What ever happened to the sanctity of marriage? Damn Lawyers!, they have everyone beleiving they are owed something......I believe when two people decide to have children, they are fully aware of the risk involved (including mom)that if things dont work out that there may be a price to pay.. this shouldnt mean, that if Mom leaves dad to persue another relationship (usually for sex or money) takes the children,that dad should pay mom and her and her new boyfriend, but thats what normally happens...dad simply has to emotionally and finacially except it, or her lawyer will turn him into a monster call him a stalker or an emotional danger(Dahhh) when all dad wants is to save his marriage and keep his family together, for his valant efforts he will likley have a PFA filed on him, this allows her to continue to have a happy new relationship, and if dad so much as calls his children he will go to jail as a domestic abuser, this is the same guy that was faithful, loved his family , loved his children and respected his wife/Girfriend and worked hard everyday, to the public he is a worthless deadbeat abuser... and they buy into it?
this is why so many of us complain!! as adults we should totally except responsibility for our actions if you have children and a partner leaves , deal with it! no one owes you anything!
you made that decision to lay down and have sex man or woman.
stop depending on this govt system to help, it is not in thier vested interest to solve problems
it is in thier vested interest to create Kaos, it creates jobs.....is it not more important that a child spends time with the person or people they love? | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 3/31/2006 1:50:33 PM | I have an Idea, Lets purpose a new Card for child support call it the "Support Card"
Make it 50/50 cash & food- that way the payors atleast know that a portion of it is being eaten.......Hey why not , the welfare system In the Usa, did it with the invention of the access card because they didnt like where their money could be spent......so why not for child support payors. another purposal, how about.. for the payor as an incentive instead of threats, every payment made should be reported to the credit beauru, as an on time payment, also allow the payor to deduct at least 50% of what he pays on his taxes, or issue him a partial child tax credit. you see a funny thing happens when people are regognized for doing good things....They do more good things.......does the system really want peace??
does it create jobs?? is it good for the economy?...Oh shit the kids.....almost forgot this is all about the children ....or is it about creating caos Beacause we the people need the govt agencies & the agencies need our coas to create income?....HMMMMMMMm....Wait....The children what about them...hey if mom and dad continue to fight ....they have a place for the children too.........think about it. | |
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| guys who pay their child support
Posted: 3/31/2006 5:59:31 PM | | I'm a single mom who has been divorced for almost two years now. While my ex husband does pay child support, it becomes a battle with him to recieve the support when he and I are disagreeing on something else. It seems as though when he is pi**ed off at me for something, he threatens to withhold the support payment. He has always had visitation with our daughter, but on his terms only. So, to all the dads out there that pay their support and spend time with their kids, because they want to...you guys are amazing! To all the d**kheads that whine and **** about paying support...get a life!!!!!!!!!!!! You should want your kids to be well taken care of. It takes alot of time and love to raise children, but it also takes a ton of money. | |
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Daisz
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 81 | |
| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 10:20:43 AM | | I dont know what your paying for your children but Trust me, what you are paying in child support probably isnt near enough of what us mother pay in..Its not just about the money you guys have to understand we have the mental and emotional part of it all..so please dont feel like your getting "drained" cause you have to pay finacially, your getting off easy. The majority of single mom's are drained emotionally, mentally and finacially..I dont mean to sound like a beotch.. If you think your paying to much for your children , take it back to court get a reassesment..you may not be making what you were then and that will be a huge factor towards your child support payments..if your income has dropped since the arrangments, talk to her or call a lawyer ...you have a say too hun. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 12:54:41 PM | not just about the money you guys have to understand we have the mental and emotional part of it all..so please dont feel like your getting "drained" cause you have to pay finacially, your getting off easy
^^^irritation sets in. Thats the exact mentality of my sons mom | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 12:58:19 PM | To all the d**kheads that whine and **** about paying support...get a life!!!!!!!!!!!! You should want your kids to be well taken care of. It takes alot of time and love to raise children, but it also takes a ton of money.
I insist that my son will be taken care of....but ME giving HER the means to do it....doesnt sit right in my stomach for many, many reasons. | |
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WWCND
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Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 84 | |
| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 2:39:20 PM | I'm very fortunate in this sense. the father of my older daughter pays me 496 every month(and will be going up, he's getting a raise and the federal guidelines are increasing may 1st) Since it's been court ordered he hasnt missed a payment. He also will give me money for extra things that child support isn't supposed to cover.. like gymnastics lessons, health insurance, dental bills etc. According to the laws here, he shouldbe paying support to cover living expenses, and for everything else, I can claim it to a court and have him pay half, or 75%(because he makes 3 times the amount that I do)
With my younger daughter, her father has paid nothing so far, and hasn't bought anything significant for her. The thing that pisses me off is that he makes 120k+ a year. I'm currently in the process of getting a court order for support for her.. I'm probably going to end up with between $950 and $1100/month, plus having him pay for all those extras.. health insurance etc. I almost feel bad for him because he's in the middle of a divorce and will end up paying the same amounts to his exwife for their child.
You reap what you sow. He should have kept me, it would have been cheaper for him in the end. I do NOT feel guilty about taking his money from him.. he should have thought about that when he was screwing me and he should have thought about that when we broke up. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 7:50:37 PM | When guys say they don't have any money left after support payments I don't get it?
There are tables supplied by the government that say what you have to pay (as a minimum).
I have two kids and make a decent living. I pay my support and still have money, not much but I don't starve. My ex and I both own homes and drive late model cars and go on holidays.
I'm not trying to say all guys are the same but deadbeat dads really piss me off. Its called responsability. If half these guys spent as much time trying to figure out how to make more money or live up to their RESPONSABILITY as they did trying to figure out a way to pay it, they'd be well off probably. Can afford the smokes and beers and nights at Hooters but can't feed the kids.
Like I say, I'm not aiming this at the guys here who have posted, I'm just rambling in general about deadbeats. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/5/2006 9:06:03 PM | | Mine pays, and he has to. It depends on your lawyers. Guarnish his wages. And I wont tell you what he pays. But it will be for a very long time, so I hope he lives a very healthy life. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/6/2006 10:42:21 AM | | Ya know you made a nice statement. Your statement was if we fight for it. Ya know if women were half decent people who werent money hungry and wanting a free ride, we (us guys) wouldnt have to fight for it. And not only that dighting for it takes money time off work which is more money. So how long do you think noodels and cereal wil last while im fighting for it? Ive gone with out propane freezing let alone not being able to cook while all i can see you say is fight for it. I just shake my head at you. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/6/2006 12:38:27 PM | | I just had to reply to this posting. I live in Indiana and the courts are not allowed to take more than 50% of a mans wages for support and they also take into account how much the woman makes even if she doesnt work they calculate her earnings at 40 hours a week at 5.15 an hour and then decide how much support they should pay. My oldest childs father is ordered to pay $75 a week (which he is not paying) and believes that when he was paying that he wasnt responsible for anything else extra that she wanted since he paid support. Yeah $300 a month really covers school clothes and supplies and food etc. I have begged him to come and see her but he says he doesnt have the gas to but yet drove to wal-mart to meet a woman he found on here, hasnt called our child but yet told me he talks for hours on the phone with this woman. What a man! My other childs father is only ordered to pay $60 a week but finds it difficult to do that but yet he got married and was buying a new trailor and they had a set of twins but yet my daughter doesnt even know him at all even though i have begged him to see her. I think a child having a father is more important than a check in the mail but if they dont do that then let them be a check in the mail but I have a hard time getting that. To all the fathers that do love their children and pay their support and see their children, too bad there isnt alot more men like you instead of little boys. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/6/2006 12:54:20 PM | Screwing you?? ummmm where you present??
Have children at your own risk!
There is no gurantee that a marriage will last!!
Man or woman who ever leaves should loose (unless of course there was physical abuse involved)
I swear maybe it`s just me, But people are so convinced that our federal govt and legal system are put there to act as daddy,stop depending on this ridiculous child support and family legal system to fix things, except responsibility for laying down and having sex (man or woman).
All i ever here is Money, Money Money!!! Im owed, Im owed!! Im Gonna get my money....
no-one ows you a dam thing! you had sex! not the govt.
I Love my children, & I will help as much as i can always....But the real world isnt that perfect WHERE DOES THE MONEY REALLY GO?MY CHILDREN NEVER SEE IT. people even the payors have at times, financial difficulties...the payors will get screwed for hard times while the payee, will go on welfare and adjust,then they say go get dad because they dont wanna put out the money ( I dont blame them)LOOK YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU OWN ACTIONS YOU ARE OWED NOTHING FROM ANYONE PERIOD!!!KEEP IT OUT OF COURT, AND DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DECISION TO HAVE SEX.what about custody???? Time Is not replaceable.....WAIT! Isnt this about our children???? where are they?? RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/7/2006 10:58:02 AM | thats right, its all about the kids, whats best for them. my daughter is 6yrs old, i split with her mum 2 yrs ago, now i have had to fight tooth and nail to get to see her, but now i can, once every fortnight. but it aint been easy, solicitors saying this and that, well........ whats best for my kid is to spend time with her dad, we are the best of friends.
now, the social (child support agency) take from ny net income of £225 pw a total of £55pw, i need £198pw for my rent and bills etc. so now i cant live and have to find a new flat. so ....WHY do i have to fight to see my daughter? why do the mums get all the rights, why do dads take their own lives, because the state screws up, but the maddest thing af all is.....
the state admits it is wrong, and wont do anything to change it. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/7/2006 11:05:27 AM | Daisz
i want the emotional draining, but she wont let me, now she is pregnant again and my kid is 6, i dont want my daughter to start getting left out because a new baby is on the sceen, my daughter stays with me twice a month, and never wants to go home. if i could, i would take full custody, let alone half, but i cant even get half.and, i think £50 odd a week is ample to feed a child. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:09:34 PM | i too am in the same position, i would take the child full time, but am not even allowed to care for the child instead of a babysitter. i pay between 400-600 per month and have never been mandated to by a court decision. i see my daughter every other weekend, and every opposing friday, but she is with a babysitter 2-3 times per week that i also pay 4. in my situation, the ex has asked for the extra mental and emotional stress, i have no pity. it seems that some women go for full custody because they can, but their pride wont allow them to ask for help when they realize the magnitude of the responsibility involved. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:16:19 PM | | I've seen both sides of this coin, I split with my wife in 02/2000 and she had sole custody till 10/2001. I paid support biased on what we agreed. In September 2001 my ex dragged me into court looking for more support. The courts decided that I was paying more than they could legally award and reduced the amount. The first month of the new arrangement my ex evicted our children (moments after the support was paid. For almost the following four years I had sole custody of my children. Never once in that time did I receive support. Never once in that time did I seek child support. In 05/2005 I agreed to joint custody which in Ireland effectively means that no support is paid by either parent. I did not have to agree to joint custody but felt that my feelings and apprehensions should take second place to my children’s feelings. 51 weeks later my ex committed suicide. How would I feel now if I dragged her into court for support? How would I feel now if I refused her request for joint custody? For the time we were together I was the sole breadwinner, why? Three children are why. Who’s responsible for that? Primarily me as it was me who first requested children. My ex gave me what I wanted, things didn’t work for various reasons, in our case post natal depression. Who’s fault was this? To be honest I have to say it was mine, I asked for children. 51 weeks after our divorce my ex committed suicide. How would I feel about myself now if I refused joint custody? What would my children think of me if I refused joint custody. My kids had one last year with their mother simply because I refused to use my children as pawns. We don’t matter but our children do. I know as well as anybody that a separation from someone you love can be very difficult but keep one thing in mind, to a child both parents are loved, when one parent runs down the other they also indirectly running down their child’s / children’s other parent. No child who loves their parents wants to hear this. Think about their life, their feelings and put your own aside. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:34:59 PM | | OK so I was just reading this forum and i hope someone responds to me. I went with my husband to court today. His daughters mom j ust took him to modify the cs order.the lawyers went back and forth because the mom wants the maxi amount...and my husband cant afforrd it. he only sees his daughter once a week right now because the mom is also fighting him on visitation as well. but they do hold cs and visitation different issue. i just need to vent some and need some answers. even from men that are paying and single moms. I myself have just seen both sides of the coin. I have a son....his dad hasnt seen him in almost 2 yrs... i had to go thru hell to even get cs at all. and i fought hard. but my sons dad is a deadbeat....period. raising children isnt a joke. well anyways back to today...the final amout for my husband to pay is 100 per week. he has car payment, rent and everything right now. i work but iam only a waitress right now. ok my husband brings home 1400 a month....so now he has to give the mom 400 of it. now he has to get another job. and i see him so upset because he loves his daughter and has done nothing but try to work with the mom. he also just started seeing the lil girl last yr...do to the mom not allowing him to see her. he tries to do whats best for his daughter and doesnt want all this problems with the mom. today at court this woman was actually smiling to see my husband upset....i have never seen such ignorance in one person. i commend my husband on doing the right thing for his daughter because here iam and my sons dad can care less about him. iam blessed to have a husband that accepts him as his own. so yes iam seeing cs from the 2 sides...and it isnt fair how the fathers get treated by the court. i mean this woman is soaking the system as it is....she is a scammer and so she knows my husband will do whats right for his daughter and she plays on that. there are many woman out there iam sure that would love for the fathers of thier kids to step up to the plate...so then when we have the men that are willing at whatever it takes, get crapped on...makes me wonder then why some men are actually weary of paying cs...or even dealing with the moms. and as far as my husband getting another job lemme say this he works trick work as it is sometimes at work from 4pm till 4am. hes a good man and provider. i truely wish hiim and the mom could come to an aggreement of some sort. but as i have said he has tried. so idk what do...i kno finacally me and my husband are about to face some huge set backs...and to see this woman smile...broke my heart for him because i truly saw first hand what my husband is dealing with. i mean the visitation?? she is taken it so far as to where the court ordered an eval on the child....a pysch. now why do that to ur own lil girl? when all the father wants is to love her....she is not at all thinking of her daughter. she is thinking about herself and her own vendatta. it is a shame even more when my husband tells me she hasnt yet even bought his daughter new school clothes...new shoes...and my husband has said that any of the out fits he has bought her...she hasnt worn. so has the money gone? my husband also just sent the csu a check for 1200 for the arrears. where has that money gone?? there are so many heart breaking issues in this case. and the one in the middle is a lil girl. she needs to be thought of. i welcome her as my own...and i have yet to even meet her. today was a very upseting day for my family....but as i have said i have been on the other side as well. struggled as a single parent...struggled for cs...so iam at a loss for words. i would never do this to my sons dad. he pays the max for my son because he didnt make an effort at all to appear at any of the hearings...so ny nailed him. and i still am not nasty to him, i send him pics via email of our son....and if he ever wanted to call and check up on him he could. even after the 7 yrs of hell he put me thru. me seeing my step daughters mom in action today....just showed me how cruel some ppl are. she is also married..owns home with her husband...i dont understand why she cant just come to a civil ground with my husband. she is all pissed off because he took her to court for visitation...what was he sposed to to do. they live around the corner from us(literally) and this woman tells the little girl daddy lives far away. even tho he just started seeing his daughter from the begining of the visitation petition(which was in March) he has alot of work to do. the mom has alienated this little girl even to the point of where my inlaws dont even see her. and they also live 5 min. this whole thing just saddens me because my husband is a good man and there is no need for this drama from the mom. he didnt do anything to her....she left him...she slept around on him when she was preg with thier baby. and he stood by her. so im just hurting for him and my step daughter. and i dont know what to do... i dont kno what to tell my husband to make him feel better......someone help. thanks so much | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:46:06 PM | | and i also wanted to point out that yea maybe 400 a month isnt alot..but all my husband wants to do is see his daughter. the mom had an order in for the past 9 yrs..the same order. as soon as my husband wants to speak up and finally take the mom back to court...the orig order was liberal...she wasnt following it at all...so as i was saying...the min he opens up..she decides to modify the cs???? she also tried gettin him to pay my step daughtes private school tuition but the court didnt fall for that. my husband has went to all costs to see this child...the messed up thing is??? they all were seeing my step daughter all of last yr. so where in the hell is all this coming from? iam just at a loss for words...some one help....ty | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:30:16 PM | Depends on what state you live in?
Then who's last name is on the Birth Certificate?
In WI, you pay 17% for ONE child. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:55:54 AM | Just a thought ... although I agree that the courts arent always fair... I have to say that it irritates me when I here parents paying $150 per month for a child, and then hearing how hard it is or unfair etc.
How about getting a better job or a second job? Would you live the same way if your child lived with you 24/7 ? ... or would you strive for a better quality of life for your children.
Ask for receipts if its a big deal, if you think the parent is scrweing he money away at Bingo, talk to your lawyer. Many courts will let you pay the expences direct and buy the amount of clothes etc, submitting the receipt, instead of just handing all the cash over.
THere are many ways to deal with it, and if your on here .. then you have access to the largest wealth of information in the world ... study your local laws .. understand your rights. and do what is best .. for your CHILD | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 6/24/2006 11:28:39 PM | Actually, princess, you are absolutly, totally, %100 dead WRONG.
Most guys DO pay. The number of deadbeat dads is actually a pretty small percentage. You might be interested to know, though, that the proprotion of women who don't pay their support when the fathers have custody is much higher, even though they are required to pay much less per child on average.
You HEAR about deadbeat dads all the time - in places like here. But for every deadbeat dad you hear about, you *don't* hear about the few hundred that as just quietly sitting there and paying their support without complaint. | |
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| guys who pay there childsupport
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:47:38 AM | | Your pretty much ****ed....The law does not let you simply walk away in most states even if you can proove through DNA that the child is not yours. Your better off suing the mother as long as you can proove that there was intent to deceive. This will be very hard. You will have to proove that she knew beforehand the child was not yours and intentionally deceived you. This can only be if she had concrete proof e.g a DNA test showing the child to be someone else's. | |
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