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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage      Home login  
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 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 25
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggagePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
At point C preferably. Sometimes point D. Never at point A.
 livelifetothefull35
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 26
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/13/2013 2:35:01 PM
dont tell them for a good while i'd say .....people tend to run away from you like the plague .....

i've had someone close commit suicide while an ex was self harming on me, it chews you up ....... i ended up moving, too many bad memorys so i could put it all behind me .... bin anything that has any memory association as to not bring any bad memorys up an work on constant distractions to refocus ... only way i saw myself through that was knowing i did everything i could .. .. dont let others selfish actions destroy you life . sounds harsh .. but screwed me up bad for 2 years
 Fishguard
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 27
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/13/2013 2:56:44 PM
I wouldn't be scared off if it was in your profile, but i would only contact you if i was serious therefore. But, i'm weird. (Female.)
 sassykitty2
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 28
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At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:20:01 PM
I would really spend a lot of time with this person before you tell her.Everybody accepts things differently.I used to work in mental health so i would take it slow.She might be very understanding but sometimes people have the wrong ides about depression and anxiety.I hope everything works for you.I KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS FOR YOU.SASSYKITTY2
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 29
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At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/15/2013 3:58:36 PM
OP, first off, sorry for the hard hits you've taken in the past.

Remember though that every person as of a certain age has a past, but baggage is something different. Baggage results from a past that is still unresolved and with that not actually in the past.

Therefore your question is a bit confusing, as your original question was about "baggage" and then you switch to past.......

So, if it's actually baggage still, better to wait with dating until the issues are resolved and actually stay in the past.

If it's actually past, meaning the issues are resolved, then there is not any need to bring up very personal things about your past early on in the dating game. Wait until you actually know the person a bit, the point where you feel comfy revealing your past.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 30
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At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:54:18 PM
Saved Rob- Two years later, you list yourself as a widower, and yet you've moved on?!
I'm not judging you, I'm just asking you to be real with yourself.
WANTING to move on and REALLY moving on are two different things.
Loving someone and having them move on is hard, loving someone and having them commit suicide is beyond hard and I'm not sure there are words for what it did to you to be the one to find her.
When my marriage ended after 21 years, I wasn't afraid or ashamed that I needed someone to talk to and counseling to move on.
PLEASE get help through counseling, you need to move on for your sake and whomever you choose to be with deserves
your WHOLE heart and nothing less.
 mysterioustallmn
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 31
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At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/15/2013 10:19:34 PM
Sorry to hear of your troubles. Trauma is incredibly difficult for most people to deal with. Professionals who deal with trauma all the time generally develope a real jadded attitude about the whole thing. The rest of us sometimes let it become our lives. It's like everything gets divided to before the event and after the event. Time heals everything my friend. As far as telling someone about your troubles, don't bother unless asked and then be brief. They won't understand now matter how detailed you get, so don't. It's just a date, not a lifetime movie.
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 32
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/15/2013 11:49:27 PM
Good lord, you act like you are the only man on the planet who has been depressed or been close to someone who committed suicide or died for that matter. Get over yourself. Bad ex relationship memories need to be grieved and released from your psyche and NEVER talked about to a new partner. That's pretty morbid to think you need to enlighten a new date about your disturbing experiences. Whatever floats yer boat dude, maybe you'll find a woman clinging to her bad ex memories and you can be victims of tragedgy together.....how romantic.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 33
At what point do I tell someone about all my emotional baggage
Posted: 3/16/2013 6:42:22 AM
Personally I prefer to focus on just dating up until about 10 dates...
that is focus on having fun and getting to know each other better... nothing too serious.
I would start to bring this stuff up after you have determined that the person you are dating would make a suitable life partner for you or when you see yourself entering a relationship.
A lot of people you meet won't make it that far.... a lot of first meets... a lot of 3-4 dates.
I don't feel the need to explain my whole life to someone who is essentially a stranger and by all indications will not play a very important role in my life.
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