| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:14:06 PM | | You are out of line mama, read the posts in this thread and tell us again about us a$$hole fathers. It's people in general that have problems growing up and taking responsibilty for their actions. Chill out. It's just a discussion. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:39:06 PM | Hotblonde Mama...
The thread wasn't 'bashing' single MOTHERS', it was simply displaying that there are indeed two sides to every story.....
Personally, I believe that I'm a *great* mother! I also know some other terrific single parents, both men AND women....
Unfortunately I also know some atrocious parents....both men and women....
No matter how thin the pancake, there will always be two sides..... | |
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danbfl
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Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/13/2005 12:55:17 AM | | get as mad as you want mama, but you seem to be blind to the fact there are deadbeat mothers as well as fathers. There are plenty of threads bashing on deadbeat dads so why get so offended on one that talks about deadbeat moms? It goes both ways, just because a women gives birth doesn't mean she is a good mother | |
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danbfl
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Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 54 | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/13/2005 7:11:44 PM | Have to agree on this one.
I am the best mother that I can possibly be to my son.
His dad is the best that he can possibly be.
I have friends who are both male and female. They are raising the kids by themselves for various reasons. Being a single parent is tough. I fortunatly have an ex that is not a dead beat. And since my son is now living with him, he is also fortunate that I am not a dead beat and that I am paying him.
People, it goes both ways.
Just do the best you can, hug the kids a little tighter and be there for them. That's what being a parent is ( well, part of it anyway). | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/13/2005 8:52:13 PM | i'm not mad at all really i just know that i have 2 full time jobs to support my son and its annoying that you would lump all moms into one category which is what it seemed like you were doing...i really don't care what you research or think you know about deadbeat moms or dads its your opinion.... you'll think what you want but from my expierences more often than not its the father that walks out not the mother and you can argue with me about that all day long it won't get ya anywhere....plus you gettting all pissed off about what i say on here makes me laugh at the end of a long hard day  | |
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danbfl
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Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 58 | |
| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/13/2005 9:32:25 PM | no one is getting pissed off at you for posting a comment that is so ridiculous. You are close minded. Everyone one knows it's the father's that leave most of the time, but you don't seem to understand there are women that do it too! That is why this thread is dedicated to deadbeat moms (read the title again). If you have an issue with dads then go repley to the fifty other forums about dads. Oh and congrats on the 2 jobs, you must be the only single parent that has to do that
BTW My ex was a great mom for the first few years and I didn't think she could ever not want to be with her children, but you can't predict the future | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 7:19:12 AM | | I am a single parent of 1 and my hats go off to any parent that carries the full burden of raising their child(ren). I just wish that society would be as quick to say to single mothers,"Way to go, how wonderful of you to raise them alone," as it does to single fathers doing the same thing that the mothers are doing. Both should be praised equally, but it always seems that the single fathers are worthy of an Oscar or something while the single mother is generally judged in a different light. I know, I know, it has something to do with traditional gender roles - but, well, I just thought it was a double standard worth pointing out. I also know that funding/courts etc...can be more on the side of the mother and that double standard is something obviously worth changing - I just don't think that single fathers deserve anymore praise than single mothers. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 7:37:14 AM | I rasied my son for 10 years without his mom, she up and left saying that she was too young to have a child and never came back, she went to New York and doesn't even call. I just feel sorry for her because she really missed some good years of his life, he's now 12 years old, and even know I tried to contact her in the past with no luck it's still a bad thing. He doesn't want anything to do with her, I called her asking her just to help me out with a dentist bill, the answer was: Okay no problem, then she never answered my emails or returned any of my calls, so I just gave up on her. Sad, when a mother just leaves her child behind! Ask Him, he'll be first to tell you. WOMEN DO LEAVE!!! A LOT OF MEN DO TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND KNOW THE HARDSHIPS! I'M ONE OF UM! she never sent a dime here.... just lied and said she would.
and I know at least ONE DEAD BEAT MOM!  Have fun. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 11:09:33 AM | I am not a parent yet I must give credit where it is due. I wish the best to all of you for taking care of your child(ren) on your own. I have seen more and more guys having custody of their children. Doesn't say too much for their mom's. I agree that if a man is to pay child support a woman should also. It's good to know these kids are growing up with decent role models with mom and dads like you. Kids will eventually come to their own conclusions on the other parent.
Best of Luck | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 11:14:43 AM | My son's mom is a deadbeat.
I get no help from her financially. (I dont really care though)
But it would show maturity on her part if she did it, even opened a bank account in his name and gave him some-thing for his future.
She also rarely sees him. But then she cant just see him when she wants either.
But that is because of her past actions, and unless she shows she has changed she wont get him regulary.
Its rare, but there are women out there who are to selfish to grow up and not do stupid things in order to be a rolemodel.
My son has no respect for his mother because of it all. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 4:07:30 PM | | i'm not here to **** about what i have to do to take care of my son and i never said i was the only one who had to have 2 jobs so don't be a****although it really suits you and yo simmity sam (LOSERS) i think it was you the moms were leaving not there kids and ya i am probably a little closed minded but its only because it's extremely hard for me to believe a mother could leave their kids...so go on and keep talkin shit i'm sure you have nothing better to do | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 4:42:55 PM | I know several of them and unfortnately 1 who had her 3rd child(all by different men) last year with a family member of mine. She had already left the first 2 kids with other people and choose to get pregnant again. WHY, I ask would she do that? We are waiting for the day she leaves this baby, but thank surgery she can not have anymore babies.
My sons father has choosen not to see him(or even a phone call) in 9 years. Someone please tell me why women and men are DEADBEAT parents. I can understand if you see their pattern before you have a kid with them, like my relative. If I had known I would have never gotten pregnant by that man. I would have tried harder to find a better man for my child.
One thing I will say it that I am so glad to have my son, he is the best thing I have ever done and he is the love of my life. I just wish I could have protected him from this kinda of father. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 4:43:37 PM | | Ouch! I'm crushed. Mama go back to the mall and get better comebacks from your friends that hang out there. Better yet, go back to school and learn to read, because you obviously have not figured out this thread...or life for that matter. The funny thing here is that MY deadbeat ex of a so-called mother has the exact same personality as you. Mouthy, know-it-all, and especially IGNORANT!!! And where is she? Hiding from authorities and creditors to avoid her responsibilities. Think and get educated before you slam people idiot! P.S. In case you haven't noticed (and since you can't read I'm sure you haven't), POF blanks out most of your swearing. Oh yeah, MY ex works 2 jobs too. Yippee yahoo!! That doesn't make anyone a parent. | |
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danbfl
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Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 66 | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 4:52:59 PM | | Sorry everyone in forum land, I don't like to slam ppl. Everyone has their own opinions, but Mama clearly has reality issues that she needs to deal with. As I've stated before, there are deadbeat parents everywhere. It's NOT gender related. There are mothers, there are fathers, and there are most definately DEADBEATS!!! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 5:26:31 PM | | I fell ya on that one. My X up and moved 2000 miles away. Won't pay child support, didn't bother to show up to the custody hearing, rarely talks to our daughter more than 5 in on the phone and blames me for all her problems . Now six months later she is taking me to court for custody. Ain't that some s**t!! Dead beat moms are out there just like dead beat dads. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/14/2005 6:52:22 PM | Maybe mothers leave because of the dad and vise versa but if they truly cared about the kids they would make effort to see them EVEN it they hated the other parent. My son's dad is a deadbeat and I think he is a loser in everyway but he is welcome to see my son anytime he wants. Kids are not stupid they will figure it out for themselves who the deadbeat is. I also think some parents are left las deadbeats without a choice. Some woman will not let the dad's see the kids even when they do make effort. My ex's brother has 2 twin girls which he never sees because the mother will not let him. He he bought stuff for them and gave it to her and she left all of it on the step at his mothers house. Maybe it was things she didn't really need but she still could have used them. blankets, clothes, bibs, bottles pretty much a variety of everything. He also has another daughter which he is very much involved with. In ways we could all be considered deadbeats to some extent....my son has everything he wants and could ever need and he always comes first but he does not listen no matter how I dicipline him. I can tell him 100 times not to do something and he still does it. time outs help for the moment but not for the long term. Being a single parent can be hard but you deal with it.
DEADBEAT MOTHERS DO EXIST. OPEN YOUR EYES. READ WHAT PEOPLE ARE WRITTING IN THIS FORUM. DO YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE COME ON HERE AND PRETEND TO BE SINGLE FATHERS???????????? | |
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nalin
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 70 | |
| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/14/2005 6:55:27 PM | | Well people ask me the same thing about my ex. I've been raising my 5 yr. old alone since he was 1. She doesn't call, pay support etc. as well. Not all women have that motherly instinct that's for sure!! | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/14/2005 9:23:02 PM | i think it was you the moms were leaving not there kids
Obviously they were leaving both. It is unthinkable for a sane woman to leave her child behind, but it does happen.
and ya i am probably a little closed minded but its only because it's extremely hard for me to believe a mother could leave their kids.
Most women bond with their children very closely at a very early age, and are considered the nurturer for the child. For real mothers who care deeply about their children leaving them is unthinkable.
It does not mean these women do not exist.
They do, and unfortunately there are allot of them.
Just like there are allot of deadbeat dads.
I would think there are more deadbeat dads then moms, but that isnt the topic being discussed.
Just because it is so repulsive to you, it doesnt mean it doesnt happen.
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danbfl
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Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 72 | |
| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 12:54:51 AM | heres the repley I meant to make earlier
LOSERS? how are we losers? just because you got involved with a sorry a$$ man doesn't mean we are losers for taking car of our children. The mother of my children has some serious mental issue and she has admitted to that and has told me she doesn't want the childen back because she would screw up their lives (yes these are her own words) and she knew I could care for them properly. I will always care about her and would be there in a second if anything happened to her, but she will never again be involved in raising my kids. She makes around 7 thousand a month(no not a typo) and hasn't helped with them at all, when I;m doing my best to pay 210$ a week in daycare and still provide them with what they need, so if that makes me a loser then I will extend my thumb and index finger and where it on my head proudly. Maybe if you had a man like me you wouldn't think so negativly about men
by the way your profile has a prefer not to say under do you do drugs, which means yes, what a good example you are | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 1:57:59 AM | Sometimes women dont stand a chance ... my case is totally weird ...
long story short ... after suceeding that my ex does the right thing by me and my kids ... the first time around of seperation, i was fool enough after strangers helped me get on my feet to go back to him i was young and my wish to make sure my kids grew up with an father well overtook my fears of him ... i stayed and took years of abuse ... alongside my eldest daughter ( his stepchild) i had no option after seperation but to leave ...
See my ex was cunning and vile ... even tho abuse was proofen he turned and said well your honor she is german what if she leaves the country with my kids ... so judge gave me custody but took my right to move out of county ... this leaving me open to his terror ...
It took 2 years till he had me on a mental breakdown ... the final breaking point was me coming home from work driving up in the yard ... and seeing him choke my eldest she has already turned purple ... i had no option but to pull the gun ... there i stood gun pulled 5 babies starring at me screaming crying ... i could not pull the trigger ... he let my baby go but she turned with an hate in her eyes and said ... mom the next time he touches me or you i do what you just couldnt do ... i kill him ... i looked at all my babies faces and was just broke down ... ( the law was no help he never got caught actually doing anything my word against his go figure )
since he never abused the 4 we had ... i turned to him and said take them ...cause as long as i am around them you will give us and them hell ... with 200 euros and two suitcases i fled with my eldest child the USA went back home ... i am a good mother i just could not take the pressure ...
its been 6 years now and the terror continues ... he had custody revoked in my absence lying to the judge saying he did not know where i resided ..i was not notified of court bending... anyways ... he refuses contact , funds sent he claims never arrive , letters come back , packages come back , when i call i can here my lil one crying and him taunting me see they want to speak to you ... but u left u divorced me ... you never see or hear of them again ...
on x-mas and other important dates he makes it a point to call ... in between he would permit me to call once a week, dictating what i can say or not say if i cry he hangs up the phone ... then after a while he says no you cant talk to them anymore cause the kids become harder to work with and wont listen to the new stepmommy ( by the way she is 23 ) my eldest is 19 now ... she is 19 and scared to pick up phone to call as he makes the rules and she still lives at home ...
there is nothing i can do from here ... but i am also to this day afraid to return to the states as i dont think i can stand the terror that may come ...
i save the letters packages ... i stopped sending funds instead i opened 4 accounts in their name and support goes to it ...
just showing a different light and aspect of what some would call a deadbeat mom
soulless | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 7:06:15 AM | | I don't know how one could leave her 4 children with such a man. I would rather stay and fight to the death and keep them in my life then to give up and leave them in his custody. In my opinion, in the end, what you gave up will haunt you more than any terror he could have caused you. | |
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