| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 7:33:12 AM | forum ... lets see he never physically has hurt them to this day ... secondly he has beat my eldest .. thirdly he has beat me... you where not in my shoes ... 14 years i took this ... the mind and body gives up ... should i let him kill one child ..cause thats what would have happend .. its easy to judge ... but be my guest ...
soulless | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 7:38:37 AM | oh sure what u saying is i should have killed him or let a drama enfold that may have killed us and my kids be better of for it ...
reality check ... i did what i thought was right ... at the time | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 11:51:58 AM |
oh sure what u saying is i should have killed him or let a drama enfold that may have killed us and my kids be better of for it ...
reality check ... i did what i thought was right ... at the time
Please do not put words in my mouth. I actually never mentioned anything at all in my post about the standoff you experienced. In leaving your children with an abusive individual and leaving the country, you did what you thought was right, I am just saying that I would not have done what you did. This must be something that you continuously have to justify to others because you are extremely defensive. You shouldn't have posted your story if you didn't want people to respond. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 10:40:34 PM | forumbound..........
if she took all the children what do you think may have happened. You need to look at this from different aspects. I understand her point as well as yours. | |
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2beme
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Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 80 | |
| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 10:48:59 PM | | And here I thought i was one of the only ones, my ex prefers to buy cell phones or get a new truck, and a new apartment, and here I am with our son strugling to make it from paycheck to paycheck, I guess at least she calls, but a call once a week and a toy every other month when she desides to come visit isn't exactly mother of the year material. Don't feel alone it can be tough but as long as we are doing what's right for are kids, that is all we can do. Good Luck | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/15/2005 11:42:13 PM | just_me__michelle
Just to clarify, I was not talking about taking her children with her during the time of the "standoff" with the guns etc...I think I already mentioned that I was not talking about that situation. Obviously, she is not going to cause anymore tension during that time, I have looked at it from that aspect. I am talking about after the fact, with police involvement, courts etc.... But perhaps we are now starting to stray off the OP's topic. This could go back and forth forever. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/16/2005 3:01:03 AM | okay ... to clarify this situation lasted for 14 years ... every which way i turned i got no help ... sadly enough... i am german ... remember i am not a us citizien, and do to the refusal of my ex i had no legal standing... i was illegal all i was told he is kind to his kids, you dont stand a chance takeing them ...
I did what i thought was right... it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do, it tore my heart in two, but he would not have stopped, even the law at that time could not help me, or wouldnt ...
anyways i live with this day in and day out ... i see a lil girl on the street and i have to swallow back tears most of the time ... i love them dearly my mistake was marrying the wrong man.
Not saying that i am without flaw definately not , i was not strong enough anymore, just wanted to show that there is cases where it can not be helped at the time ...
No matter what i have done and tried i am at a halting point and to others i am seen as a dead beat mom.
But no matter what i do understand that some cant understand my action ... or couldnt do it, i hear from friends that all the children are grade a students, and are respectful to others, and that they do voice wanting contact, but are afraid to voice it to him.
Actually i like that the laws are toughening down for dead beat parents be it on both sides,
regards soulless | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/16/2005 9:05:35 AM | Congrats on being there for your son. Actually, there are more (percentage-wise) of women who don't pay child support, than do, versus men. There may be more men not providing support, but more men are put in that situation, warranted or not.
My ex- was a child support paying mother, of two boys, living within two miles of them, attending all events, and shows that they were involved in. It's an individual situation... | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/18/2005 12:28:08 PM | Hey, I was just wondering, is there a Hall of Shame that we could post the names of all the deadbeats? I don't know, some forums don't allow you posting the names of deadbeats and what state they're from, if so let me know, because I want to post her name up there in lights just to warn others that might want to get with my DeadBeat Ex, she just might do the same to someone else as she did to me and our son... I know, sounds kinda childish, but hey if someone would have told me about her, I would have ran Fast and Long and Hard and wouldn't have looked back!!! I was thinking about opening a site called www.deadbeatmoms.com no one has it. Just a thought... comments welcome, good and bad..
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/18/2005 2:26:41 PM | Actually i do alot of work with young teen moms and unfortunalty have ran into more that should not have kept their children than ones that should have. They usually do good for about 2 years, than they start to realize what "lifetime" really means, and they want to go out and be young. Alot of them leave their kids with whoever will look after them, one even tried to take her new baby into a pool hall, and some have been known to leave their kids at home after they go to sleep alone. I have met many yougn woman who leave the kid with eth dad and sometiem do not show up for abotu a week or so taking trips becayse they hvae had enough.
I must admit i have not met to many who jsut up adn leave all together, but maybe she knows he is not ready and thinks it may hurt her to much to see the child. But that does not excuse her to not pay you support. If it works one way with child supprt from the dads, the same rule shoudl apply for thne moms. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/18/2005 6:11:53 PM | My ex is such a deadbeat that when you look up deadbeat in the dictionary yep you guessed it her name is right there as the epitome of deadbeat Mom....
She recently told me that if she thought she did nothing wrong then in her eyes she has done no wrong. I said pretty good logic however lacking any intrinsic value whatsoever not to mention she was arrested for domestic violence more than once.
Although she is a deadbeat and all right now I have to think she cannot keep it up forever and will welcome the help when she decides to co-operate whenever that day comes. In the meantime I will use the courts and my $1.00 per word lawyer to make her.
Dude..... | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 8/18/2005 6:53:07 PM | thats so sad man i know when a dad leaves is bad but when a mom don't care thats wow i love my baby and i do everything and give the food outta my mouth and my soul for him sorry to hear that guys wish there were more deicated father's  good job | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/18/2005 7:03:50 PM | | Right on. My ex went on welfare just to make sure I was ordered to pay more. She got custody because she's the woman, doesn't matter that the kids are neglected emotionally when they're with her, or how many boyfriends she's had... It's all about crippling me financially and making sure she get to say she won. And she wonders why I'm not cooperative when she asks me for favours. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/18/2005 7:05:58 PM | | omg thats horrible i don't understand y go on welfare unless u need it the gouvernment in canada pays daycare and stuff for working low income families when i got pregant i finsihed highschool and now working my ass off i hate it when mom's take the father's for granted like that they have a man willing to help but they become greedy and selfish wanting more where as myself i did all alone from day 1 neva got a penny outta him nor do i want it | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/19/2005 1:09:56 PM | I am a single mom with joint custody of my son with my ex-husband. I have physical custody of our son. My ex sees my son regularly, doesn't pay support, but that is a separate issue from the relationship my son and his father has. I have dated a few single dad's who are in the same boat as I am. I don't care what any of you single mom's have to say, we got it good. Deadbeat dads the court will eventually find him, tar and feather him and make him pay. I am still waiting for this but I know it'll happen someday! Deadbeat mom's are a different story! I know a few men who are raising kids of these people, and they have pushed the legal system and get no where! These men are treated like second class citizens for trying to make these women accountable for their kids! One guy I know was told by a judge that his ex only makes $8 an hour and requesting her to pay child support would be unreasonable because he is making $14 an hour. If the tables were turned, the courts wouldn't hesitate to put the screws to the man regardless of what he makes.
It doesn't matter, a deadbeat is a deadbeat! Whether it's a man or woman they need to pay to support their kids. It's not fair to make one parent pay 100 percent of the costs for those kids when it took two people to make them. | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/19/2005 1:17:06 PM | i dont have a problem with paying ... not what so ever ... but being constantly told no funds arrived you cant speak to the kids and me being here in germany enforcing this is tough as international courts are not yet as far as to agree on both countries laws ... i therefor have opend four seperate accounts and pay the support into that ... and the child gets it at age 21 ... i even pay more then i am ordered ... i write ... i call ... i am refused ... in the back u can hear the kids going we wanna speak to mom ... and him going no this is my house my rules ... talk about breaking it over their backs ... regardless what anyone may think i love them dearly ...
soulless | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/19/2005 1:28:24 PM | Soullness
You did what you felt you needed to do. Was it the right option? Sure it could be argued yes and no. You were risking your daughter's life by staying there. You are a very strong person for choosing. I really couldn't say what I'd do. Soulless, you said you have tried to send support and gifts to your kids. Your ex will not allow this. You are not a dead beat in my opinion. You are just a lady who got mixed up with the wrong guy and had to pay an awful price. Those who live in glass houses..... Wish u well! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 8/19/2005 2:02:37 PM | thank you kt ... we all do what we have to do at one point or another whether it breaks us or makes us ...
as for u may all your wishes come true ...
regards soulless | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:47:49 AM | | I am on the other side of the coin. Two years ago I agreed to let my son go live with his dad and stepmother. So many people look at me and say, you had your son taken away. People probably look at his father and stepmother and say, where is his mother? Because in this society, people love to judge, and have a hard time believing that a mother would make a choice based on what is best for her child, and I have chosen that my son, who has some behavior problems, is better off being in a one child two parent home, that in a one parent two child home. I see him as much as possible and call him almost daily. He lives 2 1/2 hours away, and the at the time our church was taking family pictures, he could not visit, so that is why I have a picture with only my daughter. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/21/2005 8:49:50 AM |  sad topic makes me wonder y these woman can lie on the bed but can't make it if there not ready then close the leg's  | |
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