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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 9/14/2007 3:23:45 AM | I personally know of two.
One brought back her son's Christmas presents a week before the holiday so that she'd have money to go meet some guy off the internet; the other has 5 kids with 5 different men and none are living with her. Not only does she not pay child support, but she still collects welfare and child tax credit for at least 3 of the children.
When I heard what these two women had done I was appalled... then I realize that I was more angry at what they'd done than what the deadbeat dads I'd heard about had done. I realized that it wasn't fair.
For years men have been going through the courts, starting support groups, getting legislation on the go trying to prove how they're just as responsible as women when it comes to child rearing, and how it's fair. So why do we look down more at women who do it than the men?Why is it accepted for so many men to walk away, and not for women?
Why does it seem that so many more people want to hang women like these two female deadbeats... when no one bats an eyelash at my ex (no voluntary child support in almost 8 years... and none whatsoever in the last 5 and no regular visitation), or the guy I know who has only seen his son once at 6 months and who now works as a carny to hide his income and to keep from having a permanent address. Or the guy who told his wife that he wants to give up his disabled son if the one she was pregnant with was "normal", and is now in jail for threatening to slit all their throats in front of the police, and who blames the police for his refusal to see the children under supervised conditions because his pride means more to them than they do. I could go on forever about the deadbeat dads I know.
So why don't we all ask ourselves why we have this double standard, and why the average deadbeat mom is so much more reviled than the average deadbeat dad? | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 9/14/2007 6:21:56 AM | it makes me sad, you men deserve so much credit its nice to see there are men out there who take responsibility and even enjoy it..
for the life of me I cannot understand these women either, I suffer guilt trips because I have to work to support my son and I and wont even date because I dont want to take any time away from him that I am not already..and here these women are who are just walking away..so much for maternal instincts..myself..I can't even contemplate life without my son he brings it so much more meaning and purpose than it had before..
one of my sisters highschool friends is like that though unfortunately, shes had 3 I think, and her parents are raising them all..as for her, last I heard she was living somewhere south of where I am and drinking and hitting the bars..
makes me sick just thinking of it | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 9/14/2007 6:26:24 AM | i have been raising my daughter since she was 2
the entire story is horrible,so i wont tell the details.
i will say this,the kiddo is the one who suffers.
my daughter has been to therapists,and such,a few times over the years.
she still has very deep issues with trust.
this used to make me so angry,i just couldnt understand how someone i loved so much,could just leave the both of us.
nowadays,it just makes me sad to think about it.
the pattern is the same,no matter if it is a guy or a girl,who does the leaving.
in reply to your question Brandi,i think that its the whole thought of the woman who gives Birth to the kids,and then walks away from them,that causes the instant revulsion.
its just not a natural thing.
this doesnt mean i endorse deadbeat dads either.
i have nothing but disdain for guys who cant be dads..
but ignorance has no boundaries,and so applies to both guys and girls.
have you hugged your kids today? | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/14/2007 3:48:25 PM | My daughter and her boyfriend gave me custody their daughter 6 years ago (she was 4 months old at the time). They don't call or send holiday cards or birthday cards. She knows who they are because she has pictures. Dad pays his required child support but mom is about to go to jail because of not paying hers. Unfortunately there are also of dead beat parents out there....33% of the grand parent s are raising the grand children because of them. She is better off with me only because of a stable lifestyle but at the age of 13 with all the other pier pressures, she will act out and fell like she wasn't good enough for her parents (she is in counseling now to avoid that if possible and she is only in the first grade).
Be the best parent you can be and the rewards will be plenty. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:24:03 PM | i didnt have a clue there were so many single dads
its unbelivable i couldnt imagine abandoning my kid for anything in the world
keep on trucking fellas your all doing good | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/15/2007 2:21:03 AM | Well I know of one. My Ex-wife. I got full custody this past March and it was a long hard fight. but it was so worth it this lasst year has been one of the greatest and it seeems like I learn as much form him I hope he is learning from me. I commend you for steping up there are not enough Fathers out there even wanting to see there child on a weekend and you have been rasing your child.  As far as the mother I would love to cuss her out, tell my boy what a POS, she is. But I don;t why, it would not make a diffference and talking about it would be wasting time that we could be at the park or playing out back. It took me a bit but I hagve just let her go when he askes of course I let him call her but he has asked a whole lot less and less as the months go forward. They Will find out on thier own. Untill then Just enjoy your child As I am sure you are.
Speedfreak900rr  | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:22:32 PM | | Okey, im speaking as a person that was left by my mam and put into my dads care when i was 5, although, unlike you, he wasnt a nice guy, i did really miss my mam, every child has that unique bond with their mother, now, speaking as a mam, i couldnt leave my daughter, ever! A good mother( and father) could never leave their child(ren), no matter what, your doing a great job, being a mum and a dad. | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 134 | |
| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:14:53 PM | I know many great single moms, but I can think of 6 off the top of my head who suck at parenting...nonpayment of support, abuse, neglect, drugs/alcohol...you name it. I know a few deadbeat dads and I know a few great single dads.
People are so fixated on "deadbeat dads" that I think we all forget that there are mothers who can be bad, too. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:15:17 PM | | Unfortunately we probably all know a few, nothing is harder to understand than a parent of either sex who doesn't want to be involved to the hilt in the raising of their children. The stories I see on here about abandonment and disregaurd of children truley breaks my heart. My prayers are with all who have this to deal with. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/17/2007 1:49:05 AM | i personally think a woman who can have a child and have no contact is the most selfish person you could ever come across!
i dont understand it i spend everyday with my kids,its amazing how much love you can have for your children i respect fathers who take on the role of caring for there child.
i respect you for raising a child it must be hard with him not having his mum around! | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:41:20 PM | | Your legal,or even moral,take on this matter is 180 degrees off. When my ex had custody of our daughter, the court was going to throw me in jail right away when it appeared that I hadn't paid support 30 days after it was ordered. The only thing that kept me out of Cook County was because I had my pay check stubs with me to prove that the support was paid. The clerk wrote the wrong divorce number on the deposit order so my money went into someone elses support account. I've had custody for a little over 6 years. My ex is almost 4 years behind in paying. The judge blows off her lying as cute and doesn't punish her for disobeyong court orders. It has finally taken almost 6 1/2 years for the judge to finally throw her lazy, hillbilly ass in Cook County jail. She got 2 weeks, got out 9/7 and is being given till 10/23 to get a job, seek counsiling and come up with a plan to pay the almost $8,000 she owes, or she goes back for 5 1/2 months more. She has had sex in front of our daughter,(oral,vaginal and self) and the court and the police and states attorney blows it off as "unpleasant that I mention it". I call her "The Teflon Deadbeat". | |
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| HOW MANY DEADBEAT MOMS DO YOU KNOW?!
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:00:29 PM | | I agree, my ex hardldy calls his boys and wont ask for a posting to be near them, but at least he pays child support. He has got engaged to this deadbeat mormon who has run off on her 2 and 4 yr old to be with him after meeting on a game site I downloaded originally for the kids. Bad Karma will catch up sooner or later, selfish scum. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:02:53 PM | | I agree, I think considering a lot of guys dads probably took the back reigns when they were growing up - it just makes it all the more commendable that youre doing the hard hards doing the right thing for your kids, Keep up the good work!!! | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:37:10 AM | I've known plenty of deadbeats of both genders... I have 2 sons (36 and 27 now) and neither of their fathers ever paid support - My oldest son has had custody of his daughter for 12 years and has never recieved a dime (his exe went on to have 2 more kids that she doesn't care for or support) Personally, I am just glad my granddaughter didn't have to grow up with her influence...
The bottom line is...Be careful who you have children with...They will be a part of your life, for the rest of your life...
and Remember - Nobody is totally useless - they can always serve as a bad example! | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:40:43 AM | that's pretty much my situation....deadbeat mom is a junkie, bi-polar, prostitute. I don't want her and her ****ing problems around my son,and neither do social services. It just sucks for my son cause he feels like he's been abandoned by her and he doesn't deserve to feel like that. It kills me!
yup, some people don't know what they have till its gone, and I know somwday she'll regret every stupid decision she ever made. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:21:33 PM | | ^^^I feel your pain, my deadbeat is a man, but same problems, (almost) He's a crack head, has a junkie prostitute girlfriend. Right now I'm lucky she dosnt know he's missing yet, (she's 1 and hafe) I dread the day when she asked where's daddy, and feels all the pain that comes with knowing. I use to know three deadbeat mom's but now that I have my own, I cant hang out with them...I know thair children (9 in all) are better off without them, and my daughter is better off never knowing them as well. I all single parents. (who are good parents) It the hardest job I will ever have and it's the best job in the world. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 1:57:25 PM | i have 2 sons..........I left them with my parents when they were 6-7 yrs old......I have maintained a relationship with them and now they are 16+17 and we have a great relationship...........did I do that because I am a deadbeat mom........HELL NO..........I made a decision to give them to someone that was stable and grounded......they stayed in the home they were raised in, and the town they were born in..........they are graduating with the kids they went to playschool with.........Have you thought of why women do the things they do.........I did it cuz, I needed to change my life, and my surroundings......why ruin their life as they know it for my selfish reasons.
my girlfreinds that are still there, in the same town....have 5+ kids, no jobs, nothing to look forward too...........
I have a good job, and my kids come here all the time and hang out......why TRY to be a parent, if you know you cant do it.....................why ruin the childrens life.
I remember my kids dad, who left me for another woman, called and was crying cuz his woman left him for another man......she left him with 3 little boys.............funny how devastating it is, when the shoe is on the other foot............
Women have been picking up the pieces forever........and I dont pity any man that becomes a single parent................I actually commend them for doing it, cuz it isnt done enough...................heck I see women who are freaking terrible mothers, and shouldnt be allowed to own a pet, let alone kids............ | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:39:13 PM | The people who abandon there kids are not human, even if for a little while. What is a phonecall to say i love u.
My oldest daughters so called father is scum he has paid £25 in 8 years, oh and a £5 pair of trainers, he last seen her when she was 2 yrs old, and stopped seeing her because i would not tell my then boyfriend(who has brought my daughter up since she was 3 months old) to get out my life, because it was his child.
The saddest thing tho is that the grandparents do not see her either because they believe i am in the wrong, they walk past her in the street as if they do not know her, you would think she would be proud of such a beautiful and caring grand daughter as her 3 children all ended up on heroin. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 2:45:20 PM | | I'm a single dad of an 8 year daughter. I have had full custody of her since December 2007. Her mother calls once a week or so, never from the same number. She has 2 monthly visits allowed, IF she submits to, and passes a drug test. Since December 15th 2007 she has seen our daughter ZERO times. The reason? Drugs. They have consumed her. We have tried for going on 6 years now to help her. And nothing has worked. She has been to rehab twice. Nothing. She has paid ZERO child support, and offered absolutely nothing productive to my daughters life. She has 2 other daughters, (my daughters half sisters, same mom, ALL have different fathers, the middle sisters father died in 2007. Drug overdose.)..She has lost all 3 kids. Now she has gotten the middle girl back, her youngest is with her fathers family several states away. The middle girl has not been in school since February. Will not pass the 1st grade. I think it's safe to say this qualifies as "dead beat" in every sense imaginable. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:27:05 PM | | 4 the past 4 1/2 yrs i've been raising a 7 yr old girl and a 9 yr old son, their mom got out of rehab 9 months ago and 4 the first time in 5 yrs or more is doin fine. i havent got money from her in 5 yrs to help with the kids because she couldnt keep a job, with that said, all u guys out that r having a pitty party, GROW UP! u met her, u had kids with her, now deal with the situation. now u have 2 be a positive role model to your kids work 2 jobs if u have to, get your family and good friends to help u out while u work, in the long run your kids will realize what u had 2 do to put a roof over their head and hopefully when they grow and have kids of their own, they will see all u had 2 sacrifice so they didnt have 2 do without. keep their lives positive. its hard 2 do but it is f#+*ing life, deal with it. | |
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| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:07:54 PM | My son is 10. His Mother used to say that he loves her more but after 7 months and spending weekends with me my son has moved in with me. He has told me that she puts him under pressure(stress) and does not like how she is always yelling at him and grounding him for no reason(Grounded on Xmass day for being into his gift of a gameboy game from dad for 2 weeks because he did not hear what she said while she was in a different room).
It can be challenging but earning your childs trust and love when you were the primary breadwinner in the relationship and always at work while she was at home bonding ( Brainwashing) the child and then going to all ends of the earth for your child is worth every minute after the separation.
Even if it means riding buses in a city 2 hours to and then 2 hours from to see your child for 10 minutes after a full day of work.
And she called me a deadbeat for not paying her rent along with the Child support each week ( I did it for 4 months to prevent her boyfriend from moving in a week after we split to prevent it from messing up my sons head. I stopped paying her rent because she said she was taking me to court but continued to pay the child support as outlined by the law.), I gave her the family car when we separated ( which was impounded by the police because she failed to get it registered , licensed and insured when it came due) Oh yeah she wanted me to pay for that too.
I love my Kid and would do anything for him even if it hurts me! | |
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cattyh
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Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 149 | |
| How many deadbeat moms do you know?
Posted: 5/24/2008 4:00:17 PM | | I have one in my family and I just dont understand how someone can bring a child into this world and not love and take care of them, that goes for men and women, but this happens to be my sister. So when she starts telling me how to raise my daughter, I just tell her to get lost. I guess some of them have no maternal feeling for their child/children. I could never turn my back on my daughter... | |
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