Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jjjjmdguy
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 51
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
No, you don't have to have sex on the 3rd date. However, I strongly advise that you either tell him (or show him) that you find him sexually appealing / desirable. I am a good guy, a nice guy, and a respectful guy. I have always been that way. Women always like me on a first date and on a second date. In the past, I have always assumed that since they wanted to go out with me on a third date then they found me appealing - in more than a friend way. Before I wised up, women would let me take them out on many dates only to find out they liked me as friends, weren't interested in "that kind of relationship", etc. Now, I make it pretty clear on the third date that I like them and find them attractive. We can wait for how ever long they want but if we continue to date I have to know that they find me somewhat attractive and that my intention is to move to a more physical / sexually intimate relationship at some point in the future.

I have saved a lot of money, time, and heartache approaching it this way. So, if you are interested in this guy, even a little, have a hot make out session with him, hell, let him dry hump you, have fun, be playful and sexy. Just let him know you think he is hot and attractive. Otherwise, there won't be a 4th date.
 voodooguru
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/7/2009 10:16:38 AM
I'm a traditional kinda guy - call me old fashioned if you like, but third date is first sex, at the very least a BJ... and also the date for her first orgasm.
 yepimstilllonely
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:02:55 PM
I don't think there are any date rules, it's when you are ready. Don't do it until you feel right. forget the myth.
 Irish Dream 4 U
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 54
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:31:59 PM
It is a very interesting idea. I think by the third date you either feel a physical attraction or not...and if it isnt there you own it to both parties to speak up and say it.
 ML_Part2
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 55
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/8/2009 7:56:45 PM
lol...Say what, huh...
Since when was there a guideline to follow?? For Pete sakes, your a grown women...If your tinker bell is flickering, Then light him up...

Have Fun ;)
 1darknight
Joined: 12/17/2008
Msg: 56
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/8/2009 9:50:11 PM
Still 'believe' in it?... I personally have never even 'heard' of a 3rd date rule.......what is that supposed to be?....................
 TeresaP1020
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:19:42 AM
Kristine, your friend is wrong to advise you to "put out", especially considering you don't think you are ready to have sex with him. Nobody should feel pressured to have sex. It needs to be freely given when you're ready. If the guy you're going on a 3rd date with pressures you or can't understand you're not ready for that step, then tell him to get lost.
 Sepia777
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 58
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 6:58:16 AM
When you ponder conforming your dating/sexual behavior based on someones else's "rules".. you're lost..
 anazdaddy
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 59
view profile
History
blackfox
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:02:09 AM
What is the third date rule? Didn't know dating had rules. Guess I missed out by being married 7 years!
 MyLifeAsMe
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 60
Bingo...
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:12:09 AM

It is a very interesting idea. I think by the third date you either feel a physical attraction or not...and if it isnt there you own it to both parties to speak up and say it.


...you get the prize.

If by the third date you are still trying to decide if I am someone you MIGHT want to sleep with, then we have different perspectives about relationships and sex, so we are not a good fit.

It isn't that any woman is obligated to sleep with anybody before she is ready. That should go without saying.

It is that if we don't have compatible views....if you aren't as attracted to me as I am to you, or if sex is a much bigger step for you than it is for me, then we should not be dating.

And...for what it is worth...I've never been in a relationship (in my post university adult life) where sex didn't happen by the 3rd date...and I never had to "demand it" or anything like that. I was always left with the impression that was her plan all along, after the usual bit of "seduction".
 Cherrybeary
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 61
blackfox
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:12:57 AM
hi,
have sex when you feel it's right and comfortable with the person not any third rule date. I have heard of 5 rule date or other numbers in there.
I've had sex on the first date just when it's comfortable. I had sex on the first date with my ex husband and were married for 11 years.
It depends how you feel about it and how he does. When you are both comfortable to. And am seeing someone now, 8 times and still haven't done it yet, but having fun. So it all depends. Don't put a time frame on it.
 Polarbear656
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 62
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 7:14:13 AM

I was talking to my guy friend last nite and he was telling me..since I'm going to have my 3rd date soon with this guy..i better put out...I thought the whole 3rd date rule was a myth? Is it??? I dont think im ready to have sex with him....I know he's intrested in me...and I mean its not like i dont like sex....help! lol is the 3rd date rule a myth?


This is a rule?...news to me. I thought it was a mutual decision on when sex happens no set time line.
 sexyfunguy
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 63
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:46:48 AM
It's not about sex, it's about letting the other person know that you want to be more than just friends. That can take many forms - sex being just one of them
 lennielion
Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 64
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 9:35:41 AM
Is life so prescriptive?

Put out when you want to... If it feels right do it! If not Don't!
 brstoljjs
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 65
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 11:47:50 AM
I don't think I follow any rules. I say go for it when you are both ready, no point making a mistake by rushing into anything.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 66
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 11:57:09 AM
I don't think there should be any general rules about when 2 people should have sex. I have had sex on the first date a few times. There were other times where I had several dates with a woman before having sex with her. It depends on the circumstances of each situation.
 Mxchic
Joined: 8/27/2008
Msg: 67
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 12:52:11 PM
I think most of us have a pretty good idea upon first meeting if we WANT to have sex with someone! After that it's just a matter of learning more about the potential, via dates, before we "do it"! The number of dates required to get there is different for everyone. I can guarantee that I am not going to date a guy more than 2x if I don't see a romp in our future, though the "when" may not be known or announced (he will know that I like him "that way" though, if I do). However, as a female, I also don't want to end up feeling used for sex and I believe that this is a BIG fear of all women which is why women should wait and take time to suss the feller out and see if he's really the kind of guy you want to be around (let alone have sex with).
 zenarcade
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 68
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:14:50 PM
In short, no. I don't think there is a magic number, and as others have pointed out, trying to conform your life to someone elses' expectations is fraught with peril.

Like many others here, I've had sex on first dates and have also waited several dates for the right chemistry and timing to develop. Damned if I can correlate the date number we had sex on with how good or poorly the relationship did.
 Samurai41
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:39:12 PM
I use it as a general rule.

I say general because I have found that generally, a sexually active and secure woman will KNOW by the end of the first date if you are ever gonna see her naked.

Going with that logic, anything AFTER that decision is made is just the "i dont wanna feel like aHo and I dont want him to think I am a ho" phase.

I get that women need that buffer, I understand.

But, by the 3rd date, if you still aint ready, then you are either:
1) not sexually active
or
2) not sexually secure.

either of those is a problem, not really a deal breaker, but a problem.

for example, I waited a long time with my last ex because she had sexual issues, but I loved her so I was patiant.

If i was dating a woman with strong religious beliefs, I would wait (tho in my experience the more time they spend in church the quicker they peel panties)

it isnt so much a RULE as a usefull guide.

Dont be fooled guys, she knows by the end of the first date if she will sleep with you.
 Lori922
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 70
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:49:05 PM
I went on a date with a guy that lived by the third date rule ... I didn't give him more than one date
 CoachChris4U
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 1:50:21 PM
Ha! Third date rule! There are no rules in dating. People follow rules to gain acceptance from other people when they share their personal lives with others. As a general rule of thumb if I am into someone and they are into me sexually than I see no reason not to share the experience with one another. I share my personal life with very few people if any at all, which is what by definition makes it personal. If you are comfortable with the bloke and the mood is right what is stopping you? The fear of having to tell your buddies that you didn't follow the third date rule? Pa-leeez!
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 72
Bingo...
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:00:09 PM
I'd have to agree that having some kind of "rule" is good, and I definitely feel that having a set number is a good thing.

If we're already meeting again and again then my impression is the attraction is definitely there and we're heading in "the same direction". If she's coming back a third time then it's mutual and I'd think that's about the right time to go for it. At least by the 3rd date there should be a clear and definite "attempt" to let her know that. If she's shy or timid from an attempt and wants to postpone again, then she's gotta know "what time it is" on the next (4th) date.

Like someone else posted, if she keeps needing more time, then we're just not on the "same page" and sex is a much bigger step for her than it is for me. I'm not going to waste my time or hers and regardless of how attracted I may even be to her, we wouldn't be compatible. I'd have to move-on.

Mike
 nirro
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 73
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:49:26 PM

since I'm going to have my 3rd date soon with this guy..i better put out...I thought the whole 3rd date rule was a myth? Is it?

Never ever heard of that, I would just go for it when your ready, If your ready, such and such.
 nelly*
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 74
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 3:41:30 PM
You know I am French and I have never heard of the third date concept until today. I went out for a date on Saturday with an Irish guy. He did not want to have sex because it was our first date. I went with him on Sunday, same story.. . and today Monday, it was the third date and he was ready. Finally!!!!!!!! The myth seems to have some truth. However, if you are not ready tell him soon enough. I am sure that he will understand.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 4:10:30 PM
It's important to have a third date rule for Sex because:

1... Men who believe in this rule, probably can't count much higher than three....
2... It reminds them of the age (3) when "rules" governed the playground...
3... It allows them to start over with a new women next month... (with a week in between to either hang out with buddies or to get in a second poke)
4... If the woman puts out on the third date, he knows she did on every third date she ever had... therefore not long term material...
5... It helps the guy to know if he should bring condoms... you know, first date., nope... second date, nope.... third date, Bingo!
6.. It allows her to have weekend for her period, before she meets another guy for next month....
7... It means the guy can budget more accurately... First Date: $20( cofees or snack), Second Date:$120(light dinner and drinks), Third date $7 (condoms)
8... It means the woman only has to worry about wearing clean or exy undies on one out of three dates....
9... It means she can have stubble down there for 2 dates....
10. Sex every third date, helps the ladies keep track of who to invite on the Maury show....It might save all those, "You are not the father, You are not the father,You are the father!", moments....
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???