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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???      Home login  
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 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 76
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Actually, I'm a bit perplexed on this one.

If your first date ends up spanning an entire weekend.........how many dates does that equal??

Is it still the first date? Or could you say that #2, #3, and so on are incorporated??


Belief or not, I don't think that the 3rd date rule always applies.
 daves11664
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 77
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 8:24:30 PM
She just wants to be friends if the first 2 dates were long and good and she dosent put out by the 3rd date. lykis 101 rule!!
 Confident247
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 78
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/9/2009 11:20:03 PM
OP,
Due to the bad economy all daters are now instructed to have sex on the first date instead of the third, lol. Most, of the women that i dated waited until the fourth date. Always, figure the third date thing was a myth if not then i'm owed some sex, lol.
 lacos
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 79
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 5:30:45 AM
i think it is best to wait untill you are ready for it dont worrie about the rule if he cant wait he can finde someone els.....
 Lori922
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 80
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 6:09:13 AM
M Church ... ... third date rule, or at least the I was familiar with, means he has to have sex with her BY the third date or he's moving on. No?
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 81
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 7:00:36 AM
I don't know if it's a rule, but it feels about right...you should know whether you like the guy enough to sleep with him at that point. If you don't, don't go on that third date, or tell him you just want to be friends, and you pay-!
 DeagleNINja2
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 82
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 7:09:28 AM
Don't forget ladies, sex comes in many forms. If you aren't ready to go all the way with a guy you like by third date most will accept some parking lot head as a viable substitute for awhile. Just make sure to do it BEFORE going drinking as afterwards can result in you instantly camouflaging his pants with whatever you ate for lunch.
 notwow
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 83
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:15:00 AM

4... If the woman puts out on the third date, he knows she did on every third date she ever had... therefore not long term material...


Horsepucky! As other posters have said, at our age, if one either knows whether one wants the relationship to build or not by the third date. I suspect the same for most of my partners, and in fact, have discussed this with many women. We all agree what is the sense of pretending that a relationship is building if we are not going to also include the physical part. Just because we have sex on the third date does not mean we have had many third dates! "A" does NOT = "B"


9... It means she can have stubble down there for 2 dates....


I don't like the young girl look "down there" any ways. Trimmed OK, shaved, not.

Most of my longterm relationships (those over 6 months) we had sex by the second date, and all by the third. None by the first.
 sailor-
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 84
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:18:45 AM
most certainly if you have not scored by the third date ,WELL FORGET IT
 bluemoonms
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 85
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:52:45 AM
IF ITS NOT THE FIRST DATE IT'S THE LAST DATE!!!!!!
 sum1uknow
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 86
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 9:03:32 AM
I guess it all depends where you live ... I hear in some parts of the country by the 3rd date you should have already moved in a conceived a child ..
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 87
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 10:23:59 AM

4... If the woman puts out on the third date, he knows she did on every third date she ever had... therefore not long term material...





Horsepucky! As other posters have said, at our age, if one either knows whether one wants the relationship to build or not by the third date.


Apparently know one noticed my "lists" are usually sarcastic.... and for humour....

And sorry, ALL relationhips do not end ONLY by the third date... so therefore people DO NOT always know whether they want the relationship to build or not by the third date....
 MrAaronSamuel
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 88
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 3:39:42 PM
I think the 3rd date guideline may reflect a lot of people's dating experiences. My own have been different for the most part. No rules, but a couple of thoughts...

FIRST: A lot of girls don't have sex with a guy "too soon" because they fear he will judge them for it...and based on some of the responses on here, I can understand their fear...there are a lot of hypocritically judgmental guys who want sex themselves, but label women as sluts for wanting the same thing. That's messed up, guys...if you're going to judge girls for putting out, don't expect them to put out. My experience has been that a lot of women are very comfortable expressing their sexuality with a man who will not judge them for it.

SECOND: A lot of girls don't have sex with a guy "too soon" because they're worried that that's all he wants and that once he gets it he won't be interested anymore. Sadly, I think this is related to the first point. I think that the only guys who would lose interest in a girl after sleeping with her are the same kind who would judge her for sleeping with him too soon (why doesn't he judge himself for sleeping with her too soon to be fair?). Their logic seems to be, "She had sex with me too soon, therefore she's a slut, therefore she's not girlfriend material, therefore I am not gonna see her again." This is so retarded! Again, I point out that women's hesitance to have sex has more to do with men's judgemental attitudes toward sex than it does with their own. If you want to sleep with a girl, don't you want to sleep with her more than once???

THIRD: In my own experience, if the relationship is gonna be sexual, it will be sexual by the third date AT THE LATEST. That is not because of some stupid "rule". I think it's because I am very clear about my intentions with her and about my attitudes toward sex. They know that I am interested in a sexual relationship, and that I will not judge them for wanting the same thing I do. She is a woman, I am a man, and we are attracted to each other. We're all adults here. Even if we don't have sex on the first, second, or even third date, there will at least be a very strong sexual vibe and there is no question of us being just friends. If we do wait longer, it's only because we are "teasing" each other to build sexual tension, anticipation, and desire. There have been a couple of exceptions to this rule, but typically girls I've dated who are not interested in having a sexual relationship with me do not decide they ARE suddenly interested in having a sexual relationship several weeks down the road after multiple dates. Girls who are interested in having a sexual relationship with me are usually interested in sex pretty much right away. Again, I think the key concept here is that there was mutual sexual attraction right away, they know I will not judge them for their sexuality, and they know that I am still interested in hanging out with them after we have sex. (And that I don't come across as some horny desperate guy who never gets laid).
 joonya_
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 89
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 4:00:39 PM
There are rules? Oh hell....
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 90
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 4:18:31 PM

She just wants to be friends if the first 2 dates were long and good and she dosent put out by the 3rd date. lykis 101 rule!!

And if Leykis said it, it must be true.
 BlondE324
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 91
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 2/10/2009 5:00:38 PM
Ha! If the 3rd date rule was true, I wouldn't be in my relationship now. My boyfriend waited 7 months.
 Pontoon guy
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 92
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 1:22:11 AM
i've always thought, why have rules? 1st date..3rd date...97th date? what is the point?
why not just take a list with you on the first date and that wat both partys will know the schedual for all the things in the relationship.
 VinceDaPrince
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 93
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 6:51:19 AM
No No , u have it wrong ,,,, its u better put out by the 3rd drink ,, not 3rd date ,,, its all a myth ,,, u put out when its best for u ,,, and if ur date is upset with that ,,, put him out !



JMO
 MyLifeAsMe
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 94
This...
Posted: 3/17/2009 7:48:28 AM
THIRD: In my own experience, if the relationship is gonna be sexual, it will be sexual by the third date AT THE LATEST.


...has been my experience as well. If someone perspective on sex is such that they need more than 3 dates worth of analysis as to whether or not they want to have sex with me, we much more than likely aren't compatible...so YES...this IS a rule for me.

Another parallel rule is that there must be escalating physical intimacy on each date. Again...based on experience...if a woman isn't feeling more and more comfortable with you physically each time you meet, you are headed for the "friends" zone...and i rather not waste my time.

Insofar as the whole "think you are a slut" mindset....the last woman I dated (18 months) and the last woman I married (4 years of marriage, 8 years of relationship) had sex with me the day we met. It is about WHO you are...not when we first slept together (and no, this does NOT contradict what I said above).
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 95
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This...
Posted: 3/17/2009 8:01:21 AM
We don't have to have sex but by the third date I better damn well know that it's going to happen soon. Just like mylifeasme above, if she's having to think about it that much, we're just not sexually compatible. There's nothing wrong with that but life's too short to not move on. So in a way ladies, yes, there is a rule with a lot of us but there's usually a little wiggle room... but in my case, not much.
 notwow
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 96
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 8:33:04 AM
I first heard about the 3rd date rule from an ex-GF. Most of my sexual contacts happened by the 2nd date, most by the third.

How long do you wait? As long as the relationship is progressing, I am fine. I am starting to see someone right now who wants to take things very slowly, and you know, I am OK with that, as I see some real long term potential with her. I am not going to ruin it be pressuring... most couples know when it is OK for them, and that is the right time. If I start thinking that any games are being played, I'll be outta there.
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 97
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 8:49:51 AM
I cant be that much younger than any of the posters here-im 31. My era the date thing didnt happen until after sex happened.I mean ya might go on one if ur interested in the person,but if nothing sexual happened after that one-there were no further dates. I Know plenty of people that been like this for years.Even alot of females i know out here in the suburbs of NY are like that as well. The word date can be used in alot of ways though i guess. I've associated date with going out and spending money all the time-until my mid teens. I seen then a date was a lil deeper then going out and spending money. A date in my eyes then and now means-your hanging out with someone u like point blank period. It could be at a park-with the two of u just chatting, it could be at either of ur homes watching tv-it can even be on a trail with the two of u exercising with eachother. A date to me-is exactly what it says- a specific day that u get to hang out with someone that peeks ur interest. When ya plan on being exclusive-u wanna parade ur date out on the town. Wether its the movies,dinner,musuem,skating,to shoot pool. I dont know how everyone else does it-but people where im from do it like this because people talk-and whats the point of going thru drama being seen in public with someone spending a couple of dollars if it aint serious or pointing in that direction.
 lifelsclicheâ„¢
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 98
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 9:24:37 AM
third date rule? what beleagured idiot made that up?
if there is such a thing, i wouldn't follow it. real simple, if it's going to happen, it'll happen, just not in a given time frame. women are not like treatments, can't say, "well if this doesn't get cured by the third installment, i'm quitting."

its a progressive circumstance, one that requires effort (and interest of course) from both parties involved. you can't hurry sex (well for some of you lack the endurance, maybe) because it is something you culture, and once it pops then you're good. but you can't go into a relationship with that as your objective, as most of your actions will be tell tale of such and you have pretty much set your own precedent.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 99
Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 9:27:06 AM
I think the 3 date rule is valid if sex as your goal, and not a serious relationship. I'm not saying there can't be a serious relationship if sex occurs early, but moving on after the 3rd date if sex isn't happening, is indicative of a person's goal in dating.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 100
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Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:29:36 PM

I think the 3 date rule is valid if sex as your goal, and not a serious relationship. I'm not saying there can't be a serious relationship if sex occurs early, but moving on after the 3rd date if sex isn't happening, is indicative of a person's goal in dating.


ChinaShopBull,

There are usually many goals in dating, not just one. Love, attraction, fun, fulfillment, stability, companionship are just a few of what could be hundreds of "goals" although I don't like that term. And yes, for the vast majority of people (not just men), sex is one of the most desireable outcomes of dating. If you want to call that "goals" then so be it.

Dating goals are not mutually exclusive of one another but are in fact, mutually inclusive. So if sex is not on the near horizon then one of the most important outcomes of dating for most people is not being met. So why not move on? The relationship is probably doomed anyway.

As has been said before, sex is not the only thing men want in a relationship, but it's in the top fvcking three.
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