| | Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???Page 7 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | | Ah yes the 3rd date rule, my favorite of all the rules. "If the female does not put out on the third meeting, the male must depart never to return to the bosom of said female". I've never put stock in this, because sex should occur when it feels natural or when both parties are just looking for sex I suppose. I've had sex with no dates and I've dated a woman I was with for 2 months before we had sex. The point is that I do what feels comfortable and right for the relationship, I'll probably never wait for 2 months or more again, but in that instance it was right. | |
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Icon5
| | Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 152 | |
| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 12/27/2009 9:51:05 PM | | Ive been giving this one soem thought and it seems that the more I like a guy...the longer I will put off sleeping with him...I guess Im all preoccupied with his having 'respect' for me or something...wierd. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/3/2010 1:10:25 PM | | A guy who follows the 3rd date rule is not lookin for a relationship. Either way it will end in him leaving... with or without sex so just have sex when you feel its the right time. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/3/2010 11:52:40 PM | | I, in all my worldly ways have been unaware of this third date rule. Much less a fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh date rule. In my defense, I will say the only advice my dad ever gave me was that whatever you do on a date, you must make sure the girl is okay with EVERYTHING that is going on. Of course, now in my mind that reads WOMAN. So I have been in the past accused of moving too slow. But I figure better slow than fast (in all aspects of the...ah.....art of loving). Of course, there is the distinct possibility that I'm too obtuse to pick up on obvious signals. That's a definite possibility. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 1:47:43 AM | Dating is, implicitly, the process of the game of seduction. One can go out on "friend" dates certainly, without this being true. The trick is knowing which is which, and then knowing what to expect. I was easily capable of going out with a female friend on a "date" , without any expectation of sex entering into it. In fact, it made things much easier for both parties. I must say that I have had far more closer female friends than male ones, as I've always enjoyed the company of women far more than being trapped into "being male" in a testosterone/alcohol fueled group of men. I enjoy that as well, but only from time to time.
I think that's because I was raised by women, after the death of my Dad at an early age. That allowed me to respect them, and perhaps understand them in a different way than some men do.
Now , returning to the more typical date, there is this infusion of the seduction process there from it's start.
The initial meeting and date should be short, and a litmus test of sorts for the possibility of a second date. If the man is interested then (from what I've come to understand through experience learned late) then there is a need at some point to "break the wall" and include a physical touch somewhere early in the process as part of this delicate dance of seduction.
That must be appropriate, properly timed, and not "sexual" in any direct sense. A gentle hand well placed on the shoulder or lower back to "assist" a lady to her chair, or a gentle touch of the hand to "examine" a ring are some of the most common gestures of this type.
Again, to repeat, this is not a "sexual" touch. It is done almost without thought, and certainly not "planned".
A proper look at the female's body (no.....NO LEERING) done at a passing glance, is also typically part of this ritual.
One of the great ironies is that the "players" know this process perfectly, and use it simply to sleep with a woman and go to the next one.
Lennon said it in a song : 'Love is touch, touch is love"
Seduction (and I use the word in the gentlemanly context) is an art, and a science. Women want sex too....I know....it's shocking. 
If you are sitting there simply counting which date you are on, you are missing the point of the dance.
The early part of the dating process is there to make sure both parties are comfortable with each other, and attracted to one another on the basis of personality, personal preferences, and physical tastes. This is what almost inevitably decides the longevity of the following relationship.
Men are afraid of rejection, which is logical as society and culture typically place the expectations of the first move on him. Since he is the initiator (and the male mind comes into play here) he risks "losing" if he fails.
It's like losing a bid on e-bay, only a lot worse. 
For the woman , her fears are her safety and security, and the need to avoid finding herself used for sex only...unless that is what she too desires.
So, done properly, it should be rather obvious to both parties early on. At that point sexual compatibility decides what follows.
It should also be typically early in the process, although not decided by a date number on a calender. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 5:49:47 AM | Never heard of it. Personally, if I'm attracted I push for it from date one. It would be an insult to the girl not to. The guy has the gas pedal, the girl owns the brakes.
It's amazing how many women actually go for it on the first date, but I dated a more reserved girl for months and hot makeout sessions and wondering if this might be the night was almost more fun....except for the blue ball situation.
Go there when you want to go there, sex is not an obligation, if he can't make you feel comfortable to go there then it's his failing. | |
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ohjees
| | Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 159 | |
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ohjees
| | Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 161 | |
| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 7:16:01 AM | *closer*
I've actually recently adopted the "she can make the first moves" mentality. After spending my entire dating life making the first move... I'm DONE! And you know what? This new mentality of mine is fantastic! No more of the 'is this right, is she ready, does she want me to kiss her' crap. And if she is hesitant to make the first move... then guess what, I look like a fantastic guy for waiting and if she does want me... she'll only want me more 
Win win!  | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 7:53:44 AM |
After spending my entire dating life making the first move... I'm DONE! And you know what? This new mentality of mine is fantastic! No more of the 'is this right, is she ready, does she want me to kiss her' crap.
Nice change! I swear.....I go for it and adopted YOUR original motto!
It felt RIGHT the first night...so I took a BITE!(well.....a nibble or two)
I have no problem making the first move!
And....I wasn't talking about a first kiss!
If guys still believe in the 3rd date rule to have sex.....let them wait! lol
When it feels right...it's right!
Seems if we women would ease up on the break a bit....you guys wouldn't pin it in the corner! | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 2:47:36 PM | | I did not read all the posts so this may have been suggested - your guy friend who told you about this- is he getting something out of this ? There is no such expectation (that I ever heard of) in the male jungle - Man-if you really feature this guy that is an awful lot of unfairness to feed your thoughts-- forget it- tell your male pal who gave you the line that he better get a life- hope I am not being repetitive-- be happy !! | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 1/4/2010 3:03:42 PM | Wait!!!
Is that a coffee meet, a real date, and the next time includes breakfast in bed? Or is it coffee, date, date, date, and then gettin' busy? I'm so confused.
Maybe instead of the third date rule, it should be first to $300. That would encourage the women to dip into their wallets a little more, and some guys it might take them a year to get that far, at least judged by some of the stories on here.
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 5/2/2010 2:55:01 PM |  If he's a rather good looking dude who therefore may not have any troubles meeting the ladies, theres a good chance that rule could apply. Unless he is genuienly interested in more than sex. You need to discuss it (sex) with the man if you have concerns such as contraception/ safe sex practices ect. Otherwise what's the big deal? Since your seeking advice in the pof forums, you must have some liking for the guy. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 5/3/2010 7:21:21 PM | | I don't believe in the 3 date rule but I wont wait more then 6 weeks for sex because after the 6th week and sex hasn't happened it shows me my date just wants a hangout buddy and not a relationship | |
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| blackfox
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:59:46 AM | | I was with my guy for over 3 years and we got married and then the sex came. | |
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| blackfox
Posted: 5/5/2010 8:46:21 PM | | You married someone 2x your age. Your argument is invalid. | |
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| blackfox
Posted: 5/5/2010 11:56:30 PM | HMMMM.... THE THIRD DATE RULE? .....Is that where the guy is expected to buy dinner?
Let's see;
Date 1. Meet. have sex then introduction
Date 2. Have sex, talk while she cooks for you...learn about each other, have sex.
Date 3. Take her to dinner, get blowjob in car on the way, discuss threesome with her hot friend then go back to her place for sex...possibly including her hot friend.
If all three dates go well she may be a keeper!
For those of you who aren't intelligent enough to get sarcasm....fire away!
To everyone else.... | |
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| blackfox
Posted: 5/6/2010 8:06:37 AM | Rather than call it a rule, I'd call it a three date rule of thumb. The fact is, that most people will have sex by a third date. I say that because the last time sex on or before the third date didn't happen was when I was 24 and the girl I was dating was 18 and a virgin. In that case we waited for about 2 weeks However, this is 2010, not the 1980's and the youngest woman I dated from pof was 27 and I'd guess she probably had sex a few times. So, except for very young women with little or no sexual experience, I'd have to wonder if a woman really enjoyed sex or looked at sex as ``putting out'' or had some other baggage from a bad sexual experience if sex wasn't happening by a third date.
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| blackfox
Posted: 5/6/2010 8:27:57 AM |
You married someone 2x your age. Your argument is invalid
Actually it wouldn't have mattered if the guy would have been my same age. My rule of no sex before marriage applied to all guys. | |
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| Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule???
Posted: 5/6/2010 10:16:40 AM |
I dont think im ready to have sex with him
Then don't. I don't know what else there can be to say about this. If you're not ready and you do it anyway because you feel some sort of pressure to, you'll resent him for it. And that helps no one. | |
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