| StepChild
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:58:59 AM | | Why can't he say "this is my wife ______ and these are our children, ____ and _____". Is there really a need for labels? I had 2 step monsters at one time and I never called them step anything. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:18:12 AM | Interesting how you use the words "The Truth"...
I think the expert here is most likely the girl herself... it sounds like he might need to talk to her and ask her how she feels about it all...
She might be entirely happy with the present set up and not want to be regarded as any more intimate with her step father or she may wish to get closer, and feel left out...
If she thinks that her step father is an arsehole or just a very good friend, and has a very good relationship with her "real" father... then i imagine that she is more than happy with things as they are ..
It might just be best if he ads at the end some sort of compliment - like how pleased he is that she has come into his life as well...  | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:41:56 AM | | I am a step dad. I am now divorced from my step daughters mom. However, I am still her step dad. My advice is to ask your step kids how they want to be introduced. If they think of you as a good parent to them....they won't want you to use step at all. So, you intorduce them as my daughter (name) and my son(name) in order of age. My step daughter is 23 now and from the time I married her mom she has always refered to me as her dad. And told me she didn't like be called a step daughter. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:12:19 PM | I was with someone for 15 years and had a son from my previous marriage and he never put a "label" on my son; those that were close to us knew the situation, those that were not were introduced to my son as "Brian" and if they asked they were then told that he was my "my" son, if you will, however, I have to tell you because of the respect that was given (and received) during that relationship, my son spoke to my "ex" on his wedding day as a "step-father" if you will. AND still to this day after 7 years apart, my son has the utmost respect for the man that you can have and to me that is totally awesome!!!
considering he is my 8yo"s father. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/24/2008 11:38:11 PM | | If it was me introducing my family at a party I would introduce them by name, in order of their age, and wouldn't mention the specifics of the relationship. People who know you well likely already know the facts, and those that don't have no need to know. There is no need to give out more information than necessary, or to make a stepchild feel like she is apart or not totally included from your family unit. She may not resent it at 7, but she almost certainly will as a teenager. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:31:15 AM | "These our our kids X and Y."
If they asked specifics, they got them, if they didn't ask, they didn't get them. The girls deserved that respect, and I got it in return.
If you want them to behave like step-kids, please by all means, introduce, indoctrinate and treat them as such. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:50:17 AM | Tell him to beat the kid like a stepchild........
Always works for someone, otherwise nothing would be on the news would it?
I got no clue, sounds to me a question of semantics, and less of "important issues" type of thing.
Introduce the kid as "my latest and greatest mistake in the last 10 years besides my ex-wife" and see what they say then.
Seems introducing her as "wife's kid" is much less controversial......... | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:56:46 AM | | How about "These are our children, Jackie and Jill"? | |
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| Stepchild
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:19:11 AM | | Maybe he should ask the girls father if he would like another man introducing his daughter as someone Else's. I have a feeling this girls actuall father would not be to crazy about another man claiming his child. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:36:33 AM | | If the child has a father who is involved in her life than your friend should not put forth any pretenses about being her father. Introducing her as his stepdaughter should be adequate. The children of divorced parents have enough confusion to contend with as it is. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:46:12 AM | | I like the idea of Our children.....that solves everything.....good post. | |
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| StepChild
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:14:49 PM | Some of this frost my south side. I have a daughter and three sons. For those of you who don't know, two are my from my first wife, two are step children from my second marriage. The girl is my daughter, just ask her, I gave her away when she got married! I'll be the first to tell you, I'm her dad, and love her as such, but I'm not her father. Just the guy that was there when she needed him. It's her mom that I'm divorcing, not her, and it will always be that way. She has been a supporting role in my life as well, she was the first to bless me with a grandchild. Oh, just so you know, shes beautiful! Also, Even my family concidered them theirs. If you didn't know the situation, you didn't know the difference. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
As for those of you out there that don't want to accept responsibility for whatever reason, It is your LOSS. There is some of us that will.
Give me a couple of weeks and I'll have some pics up. Computer died and I don't have anything to put up. I'll have to get them from friends. | |
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