| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 6:24:14 AM | | So mostly against. very very interesting. I guess I look at special friends as a way of being safer. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:23:35 AM | I also went thru a situation very similar to ures just recently..and I REALLY miss the friendship,just as much as the "benefits"..LOL..
I always knew what the outcome could be,but was still stunned when it actually did end..Although I still say it was worth it!!!
Still reeling!! | |
|
~KC~
|
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 28 | |
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:24:54 AM | | I have no problems with friends with benefits.. but recently.. it's not good enough.. can get complicated for sure. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:31:13 AM | | Hey dragracer... My ex-boyfriend started out as friend we dated for 9 months and we are best friends now. We have this rule... as long as we are both single... then it is no holds bard... we can hang out as friends and we can also have the sex we had when we were together.. it can happen everyone trust me I am living proof!!! | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:16:44 PM | | It can be done. But tiy have make sure that it doesn't become emotional at all. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:25:29 PM | | Sorry to burst your bubble, but think about this. Without the commitment which is what friends with benefits is suppose to be about, what do you do if your friend is giving benefits to more than one. Since there is no commitment it should be alright. Or are people going to bring up the double standard of "while you are with me, then just me" and when they meet someone they like the friend goes into storage until when? When the breakup happens or boredom sets in. What happened to trying to make a relationship work. If there is something on the side waiting, then if the emotional part of a relationship is too much then bail. Step up and take that Friend with Benenfits out of the closet and continue. Sorry but alot of people in that situation are putting themselves at risk with STD. Just food for thought. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 2:07:21 PM | intrepid!
I just want to say I don't care who I am with there is 100% protection. Even with my best friend.
You do have a good point... but some of us are responsible | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 2:10:21 PM | | I am not concerned about you, it is the "superman or superwoman" who does not protect themselves. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 5:10:01 PM | What is benefits when someone ends up getting hurt cause one has more feelings then what they started up as. Don't get me wrong I enjoy getting some but not gona be someones booty call.
I got 2 hands and no probs using them so when I find the right woman I'll give myself up again.
Till then my work benefits suit me just fine. Hell 100% dental! | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:54:50 PM | | Hi yes I currently have a friend who I have benefits with and its great we party get drunk or buzzed and have glorious sex " not making love though" its satisfying , we havent hit any hurdles yet and its been about 5 years | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:59:15 PM | | Another hurt one here. I suppose it really depends on how it all starts and just how close the friends really are. Close friends should not ****. The complications are just to staggering and yes, I miss the friendship more than the sex..... | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 8:10:58 PM | | I was for it ... until recently. Now I think its not all its cracked up to be. It can rip apart a friendship. | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 8:41:51 PM | | Seems like all the girls want their man to be their best friend so nothing wrong with making your best friend your lover ... is there ? | |
|
~KC~
|
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| |
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:27:45 PM | Well Lex,
Well yes they do but there is s differenc you know. A friend with benefits means it's a short term thing no commitments .. that's the tough part someone will always get hurt!!
Better to just met someone become best friends and lovers so no real friendships are lost .. it's not worth the pain and suffering from trying to recover some sort of resembalance of friendship afterwards.
   | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:39:09 PM | | Hey Drag.. have you let her know that you want the friendship back and that you miss the friendship more than the benefits? I have been thru a similar thing from the female side, and I have to say, my male friend would not give up on renewing the friendship and almost forced me into it - and there is not a day I don't thank him for it!!! It has been about a year in the making - primarily of his stubborness - but he is now like a best friend and brother all rolled into one.... he helps me with work on my house, has beers with me, and we give each other tons of relationship advice..... if you don't give up, and work at it, it will happen.... but I gotta say, I also learned that I am not cut out for the "friends with benefits" - I give of my heart if I go into the benefits section. .... ~R | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:47:04 PM | If I was 20, I'd not go for the friends with benefits thing, but at 28, my somewhat neglected high sex drive (no not that high, higher, think, 5 times a night, 2 times a night minimum or discomfort, 1 time a night minimum or cramps and feeling ill...) is getting the better of me. I really do want another long term, hopefully this time forever, relationship, but do I really want my massages, love, and affection go to waste for possibly years before she shows up? Some one might as well be the grateful recepient of it. More than my gratification I enjoy the look on someone's face when I'm with them. The compliments are a real ego booster and don't hurt either.  I think having more than one activity partner would be a bit too much of a streach for me. My first preference is monogamous with someone for the rest of my life who I have chemistry with, so my second preference is one activity partner. Though possibly it's emotionally safer for those involved to have more than one benefits friend so they aren't steadily gravitating towards one person that doesn't feel the same way.
I hope that I, and the people here who share the idea that friends with benefits is okay, do not end up in the situations that have made some of the other people turn against this! I think any one of us would feel horrible if we ended up making someone feel bad or hurt. My greatest fear in this sort of situation is that I'd hurt someone because it ended! | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 5:48:19 AM | | Sure, it can be fun and as long as you are both honest with one another, it usually works out fine! | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 12:35:41 PM | FWbs are a good thing for some people, but not for others. I agree that in most cases people tend to become attached to their FWB, and in light of that I would also agree with the wolfguy that more than one FWB would guard against concentrating your feelings too much on one person. So long as things are kept honest, do whatever floats yer lil boat!
| |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 12:56:55 PM | | the fundemantal problem with FWB is that alot ppl rush into the benefits without really having the focus on the friendship. I'm all for Friends with Benny's unfortunately what i see most people in this thread being against is far removed from what FWB has beento me in my life | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 1:22:04 PM | | I actually think the use of the term "friend" is a bit loose in this regard. Do you really want to be buddy-buddy with someone you're boinking? Being really good friends with someone you are sleeping with... isn't that pretty relationship-esque? | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 1:57:10 PM | Scorpio chic .... Naaa - I like the idea of jumping my best friend better .... Ha ! Just joking with ya .... It was just a thought but maybe I changed my mind about it now .... Lovers and best friends .... I realy don't know to many people so I got to stop bullshiting ... :)
KC ... If you reply to something I say then I got to answer - You are too cute to disagree with so I will just say Hey ..... :) | |
|
| |
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 4:24:13 PM | Hey Lex,
Scorpio chic .... Naaa - I like the idea of jumping my best friend better .... Ha ! Just joking with ya .... It was just a thought but maybe I changed my mind about it now .... Lovers and best friends .... I realy don't know to many people so I got to stop bullshiting ... :)
best friends can happen as so far met one on here and it's working out great .. so here's hoping you have the same luck .. hugs
 | |
|
| friends with benefits....
Posted: 8/8/2005 4:39:21 PM | here's a thought...how about, lovers with benfits??? I would love for the one I fall for to be my friend first...seems a foundation of friendship is important to me....I have had 2 serious marriages...head over heels in love with them...but neither one was ever my friend....and I needed that, to be able to talk to them about anything, and not be judged, but they always judged me...
Am I wrong...or looking for something that isn't possible???
Can't wait to read the responses on this one!!!
  | |
|
Home
login 
