|
|
|
|
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 7:17:30 PM | This is supposed to be easy. You do it every day. This gets me sidward glances. And I dont even know what to say. This is commonplace, everyone does it all the time. You have to be some kind of idiot, take your place in line!
They look and they laugh. To them it all makes perfect sense. They chose the road that would surely bring them home, safe, warm and content.
I didnt want that road. I couldnt live that life. They had to tell me I couldnt do it a thousand times, before I left that town in strife. They said you cant do it, you dont have the brain. They said even if you manage, you will never be the same. I listened to them yell, so many times at night I heard them scream. I never learned to stop moving forward, I never learned to stop believing in my dream.
Sure it cost me plenty. So many times it took all that I had. But I did it all the way my heart lead me, and at times, the situation was very bad. But I never stopped. I never, ever learned how to say die. A billion miles between my dream and I, and I continue to take my one earned step. Ive not seen my home town, since I was given a plaque. Ive not known my real friends, until I realized I was under attack. All of it makes perfect sence I suppose, its not all going to be peaches and cream. All of it makes absolute sense, you see, all of this is still all a part of my dream. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 7:26:29 PM | Words of my Mouth; Words of my Heart
********************************
I hear what you say my dear friend, and You see what I often post.
But were you there to hear, what I was trying so hard to say the most?
You actually could not have been, unless you were actually her.
I fell upon a sheepish time, but allowed myself to be clocked in wolfs fur.
Im no greater than you, as my public slide will primarily show.
I found myself in a fearful world, and saw dying dreams, that I really needed to grow.
Yes, I let my eyes close, while my heart was forcefully pushed aside.
I almost closed the door on happiness, in order to save all of my pride.
A lesser man could have managed, I simply chose to try and fail.
However, I need no one, cept her, to remove the throns and the nail.
There is a lot of hurt, so easily being tossed around
I see the name in the sand, I see the Cross in the ground.
She thinks that time away is her absolute chance at recovery.
I think shes stronger than me, and ....
And Im tired of making words that rhyme. It happened. You dont understand why, but I know whom I hurt. And it will take me time to forgive myself. As to whom you thought you knew... take your time as well. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 7:33:34 PM | ok.. before i leave this wonderful pond
there are some words that I must share
See, I came to this place, not looking for another
I came to share poetry, a laugh, some banter
I already swam with a school of my own
The simple fact that i was here,
showed that it wasn't an overly happy home
But it was what is was, and I lived my own life
So much has happened since that august night
a bond that became so strong, a connection so right
yet with so many obstacles to leap
and with no end in sight
Fear can do a strange thing to us all
grips us tight, leads us astray, takes a hold
I have felt it myself, truth be told
So please know that my choice to leave this fine place
is not something i do, with a sad look on my face
I have chosen a path, for the life that i seek
But slow and steady is the pace that i'll keep
Don't cast stones at cross, he's not to blame
If anything, I should be the one feeling shame
But I stand by my choices, and what they will mean
sometimes what you see on the surface, isnt' what it seems
Holly
please remember one thing.. we all stumble.. its our actions after the fact that we should be remembered by.. Crossfade, you have always, and will always someone with a level of integrity that isn't often found.. we all stumble.. and you know i will always help you back up because thats what real friends do.. friendship should be unconditional, and I'm sure it is with many here | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 7:42:22 PM | Holly, I may get deleted for this, because Im not going to make this sh*t rhyme. You shouldnt leave. You have touched all of us. We can both stay, show them what a REAL trial tested YOU and I can be! We have realized just another part of this wonderful ship we set to sail. We cant continue to break the hearts of our friends, Cross, hammer and nail. (sorry, had to pick a rhyme, for fear of banishment)
But Baby, that was beautiful. Simply as well as all have seen in time gone past. But you must remain. If for nothing else, then to tell me to kiss your ass!!!! | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 7:50:50 PM | When two souls find eahother......
They intertwine and grow, sometimes breaking off pieces ,
in order to grow bigger and stronger.
Once entwined two hearts and souls become one....
and even in the hardest times they never come undone.
Holly's cross should always be forever in her heart.
((Holly)) stay. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 8:15:38 PM | I left the place that I had known barely a man, with dreams and visions of grandeur and little money in my hand. Out to set the world on fire and make it all right. I found myself on the wrong end of a gun one rainy Detroit night. I didn't let is slow me down, I took it all in stride, I didn't let it beat me down I held my head with pride.
I took it as a lesson, I learned to trust no one. I pulled myself back in my shell and tried hard not to run. So trouble too I have know, pain and sorrow too. Three broken marriages, a few kids and an Autistic one too. I know the battles we face in life, the ones they say we can't win. There the ones I want the most to prove to them again, I'm a stronger man then they think and I will do it through and through.
The trials I face are mine alone, the products of my life. I fight the lonleyness and turmoil and strife. Yet still hold my head high, Proud of who I am. I may not have everything, but that doesn't make me less a man. My mind is sharp and my back is strong, I ready for the next fight. I've lived my life on my own terms and I sleep well each night.
For those of you that think you can judge me and how I've done, it makes you change just who you are when your on the wrong end of a gun. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/24/2004 8:56:15 PM | Ive always known that about you, never thought you were the son of sam
Ive always thought you were a literary genius, it just hurt when you said you forgot who I am.
Based upon the walk that you had taken, Its fairly easy to see
That you were going to be a brother, easily accepted by me.
Yet when things grew dark, and obviously mysterious
You were one of the very first ones, to grow and sound curious.
I never heard from you, In fact it was me that sought you out.
And even amid my inquiry, it was you that showed me doubt.
The last I heard from you, was that you were waiting on a jury
I lost a part of my time frame, and lost a whole lot more in a hurry.
Look up a few posts, see that I know what it is that I did wrong.
Hell, I had a few of my emotions ripped out, by the words of a song.
I posted that as well, just so that she would see that I am still very serious
I wash my hands of the pains though, of those that were simply curious.
I was there, never to don the robe. I was always there, never to slam the gavel.
I never once spoke against your falicy or never once frowned upon your painful travel.
Doors will open, and names will surely change, this much we have always known
Our eyes will open, and the games will be deranged, but I have reaped the seeds I have sown
I may have lost a friend, I may have very well lost yet another brother
But I reconciled with her, my friend, my confidant, my one true lover.
It just pains me that I keep hearing you say, so much to all of my loss
"Maybe your not what I thought you were, when I first met you Cross"
Either way. I have my heart back in place, and Im smiling once again.
I realize that I dont have to pay anymore, for my one gravious sin. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 2:24:24 AM | It's not that I wish to fight with you, a victor there would not be
Yet when thing are said, not understood, I fight chivalrously
Rarely finding a soul, so kind, warm and true
I'll stand and fight for what is right, not knowing what is true
I have fought many battles, many to no avail
They end up proving nothing, so truley in the end we fail
In the final closing, before the curtain falls
We all look to the future, and hope we know when destiny calls
I still call you my brother, Nothing needs to be explained
I'll still ride beside you willingly, as we set forth upon the plain
Often time we stumble, some times we even fall
I remain beside you unwaivered, and am there throught out it all
Should there ever come a time, that we meet again upon this plain
We should both remember this event and scabbard our swords again
No further words from me, of this will you hear again
I've locked them deep inside, and still call you a friend..... | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 2:29:31 AM | | This poetic soap opera of life taps on your shoulder,as you turn to feel the sucker punch land squarely centered...the bright light sending you down to the ground. The learning is in getting up,dusting yourself off...and through communication, maybe even wind up shaking hands. You and life can be at peace,even after war. I so love seeing you all...bouncing around, room to room, like an invisible voyeur...but respectfully so. Learning and feeling the common-ness we all share. Merry Christmas Cross, and everyone else too. Peace~ | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 5:56:30 AM | ~~~~~~Merry Christmas Crossfade~~~~~~
May all your dreams and wishes come tru in the New Year...........Be well. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 4:21:03 PM | Thank you both, and Merry Christmas to all of you as well... now that its about in the books. I had a thrilling day at .... work. Hope you all had better fortune and lots and lots of great gifts!!!!  | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 4:56:02 PM | Brother, I too have had a great joyous day at the Job, In at 5:30 and home again at 7:30.
Oh yeah the first was AM the second was PM.... Merry Freaking Christmas to me....LOL
Truley Hope that you and famlies had a great and wonderful Day and I hope that 2005 proves to be much greater and brighter for all of you.....
Happy Holidays!
Soba | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 5:12:17 PM | That too sounds like how my day went. Cept I was home an hour earlier than you.... lol. The word on the street is that next year will be much better. Im not gonna hold my breath though. Anyways, Merry Christmas Bro.
~Cross | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/25/2004 10:20:48 PM | | Well,it's some consolation...at least you have a job. I was given the pink slip for losing my temper and calling a BI*** an idiot. The union is behaving more like an onion, and I'm not sure when it's gonna get fixed. Wish me luck---and man I hope you are right about 2005 being much better! I'm really counting on it~ | |
|
| THIS IS FOR MY HOLLY
Posted: 12/26/2004 7:55:51 PM | Four Room Castles
**************
I could promise you the moon, and develope words that would make your heart race.
I could paint you into a bed of flowers, constantly picking up this emotional pace.
I could show up with a thousand dreams, all wrapped up in a beautiful bow.
I could tell you secrets about castles and queens, letting this fantasy grow.
However, baby I wont set you and I up for that crashing, eventual fall.
I wont promise you the race of my life, only to end abruptly at our self made wall.
I can look in my heart and my very own set of hands
And create a life that fits within our set of plans.
I wont promise that castle built on shifting sand
Or a fake set of dreams that exist only in a fake land.
I will give you that porch swing in front of our four-room castle
Give you that life that is void of constant pain and hassle.
I will dance with you in the kitchen, when the kids are asleep and were all alone
I wont promise you the moon, but you wont ever worry about my heart turning to stone.
If you worry about how tomorrow will be when we wake up after the glow
Then listen to these last few lines baby, there’s a few things I want you to know.
I wont ever let you and I become something that I take for granted.
I will build upon every single reality, and the simple love that we planted.
I will cherish the smallest of things that grow between you and I
I will give you my heart, speak only the truth, and kiss you at night.
I will love them all, teach them, and help them when we wrestle
I will make you the queen, of our very own four room Castle.
So much you have done for me, I know all that were giving.
This dream were developing, is the very dream that were living.
Thank you. From the core of my heart, thank you. | |
|
| MORE FOR MY HOLLY
Posted: 12/26/2004 8:06:10 PM | TURN LIFE DOWN AND HOLD MY HAND
****************************
Hey baby, turn the radio on, make it soft and still.
Hey lover, take me by the hand, let me dance with you for real.
Lets turn the lights down low, and move slowly here in the kitchen.
Lets turn life down to the dullest of roars, no more work place b*tchin.
Put your head on my chest, as the moonlight creeps in from the night.
Put your arms around me, kiss my lips, let’s make everything alright.
Whisper in my ear that you love me; rub your hands up and down my back.
Sway back and forth with me, lets get our hearts on the right track.
Listen to me explain tomorrow, as we glide effortlessly across this hardwood floor.
Let me carry you upstairs to our room, lay you on the bed, then turn and lock the door.
Let me love you for a lifetime; let me put all I have into what we want oh so much.
Let me lay you down and build our life, let me surrender to your mesmerizing touch.
Be my loving woman; let me be your ravenous, completely devoted man.
Tonight lets do this; Turn life down low, and baby take my outstretched hand. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/26/2004 8:37:29 PM | The angels softly hum in unison... all in heaven is supposed to be quiet.
Bursting out of the mold, hell broke lose, creating an earthly riot.
She stood, shaking, longing to be alone, wanting to be silent, begging to be still.
Wrapped in chains I saw her stand, nothing in the universe could describe what I feel.
Ancient gods and a cherubs smiled, as she walked this across the hammered streets of gold
I wasnt allowed to be within her sight. I was the nightmare you hid, the story you never told.
She danced across heaven. Angels admired her poise and her unimaginable grace.
Every ounce of my life was rendered motionless, when your eyes fell on my face.
I never needed arms around me. I never needed a soul to sincerely touch and hold.
Seeing your eyes fall upon me, there were dreams and visions that are still left untold.
Chains that bound my arms. Chains that bound my legs. Chains wrapped around my heart fell away.
You parted the angels, forced the elders to step aside. Your lips were moving as you closed, and all I heard you say,....
"You cant take me! You cant make me! You cant own me! You cant control me! Not on your very best of days! I dont need your arms around me! I dont need your lips to rush across the surface of mine! I dont need your dark past or your hidden misery!!! But...."
The chains fell away. I was no longer a bound man. I was no longer a leashed fool.
When your words hit me, they stuck inside me. You changed my internal golden rule.
Dark clouds formed, and the lightning took a direct aim at my newly released heart.
With eyes like aced up dice, you gripped the god of thunder, before it could ever start.
"This on is mine!!! Destroy the mold and let us leave. I grow tired of paradise, I want to go home."
I woke up with you this morning. Feeling your body against mine. My dreams told me that you were still so very far.
Walking into the next room, wiping off a foggy mirror, I gasped in horror. Dead across my chest, was an unknown scar. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/27/2004 2:55:49 AM | | whew-gripping,like actually being there in your skin | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/29/2004 1:59:18 AM | | Thats not always such a wonderful place to be. Granted, lately its been an incredible place to be... but there are days.... lol. Happy New Year Neo! | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/29/2004 7:36:31 AM | d@mn Cross you are very poetic *big smiles*
bravo - I enjoy reading you ...
always with hugglezzzz
Z | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 12/30/2004 3:58:12 PM | Thanks Z!!!! *HUGS* TO YOU TOO!!!!
Hope you have a Happy and Safe New Years!!!!
Talk to yall afta the first of the Year!!!!
| |
|
| |
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/2/2005 4:08:06 PM | Two hearts meld together,
two spirits that continue to shine
They walk the road together
knowing it will be long and tedious at times
The battle doesn't scare them
they choose to take on this fight
To claim a love so intense
Even when it means harsh truths may be brought to light
Meeting obstacles and crossroads,
Stumbling on occassion, but they never fall
as they clear an opening in the path
to make their mark in this life, to give it they're all
When two souls are destined to walk forever as one
There are no barriers to great
Nothing amazing in this life comes easily
Not everything is left to fate
Chance is what makes the world spin
and for some it casts much doubt
But they would rather deal in a game of chance
then walk away without ever finding out
lol, ok not my best, but when i saw this thread at slipped to page four i just hadda stick something in here. | |
|
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/3/2005 7:09:31 AM | you have an angel heart that beats
on and i can feel it from inside me
love letter poetry | |
|
| |
|
| Page 4 of 52
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41 |
|
Home
login 
