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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/9/2007 12:43:55 AM | The last match tossed
***********************
The needle lands silently onto the record. The music begins to play.
Fears of silence have left. Fears of unwanted conversation, have gone away.
Now the music pushes us, now we have a viable excuse.
Now were clear of the questions, now our heads are free of the noose.
The record spins around, and we slowly lower our guard.
We are finaly together, feeling like we walked the million mile yard.
We come together, knowing this is possibly our very last kiss
We search inside ourselves, praying to all that is wrong, that there is nothing we miss.
I know this is a dream. I know in this life, nothing this perfect could be real.
Yet I also know, the kiss inside my heart, tells me there is so much left to feel.
I want that you should find, a flaw so deep in me. One that you cant comprehend
Find that wicked part of me, find that flaw inside, the one that puts you and I to an end.
Do that and make it fast, because I cannot find a way
To pull back from you, or say the words Im not supposed to say.
Find all my dark rooms. Show the world that I can fail.
Expose every single lie, show the face behind the veil.
Rip me apart, telling your heart that I was never fair
Slice up my life, tell your soul that I was never really their.
Wash away my eyes, tell yourself that you could not see
Push away the dreams we had, the ones of you and me.
You do all of that. You take the time and make it true.
Put the dream face down, pull the trigger and end me and you!
You tell yourself that were not meant to be. Close your eyes and see
You tell yourself that were not meant to be. Close your eyes... its me! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/11/2007 1:50:18 AM | You invite me back after ten years or more.
After all the fire I walked across so many times.
You speak to me like I was never the sufferable sore.
You ask this of me, as if you have pardoned my crimes.
Have you forgot? Has it slipped your mind? Remember me?
I was the male harlot. I treated you so unkind. Can’t you see?
You remain the wolf, begging for the sheep to quietly return.
Deep inside my tainted wool, there are lessons I remember learned.
Forgive me if I don’t sharpen the dagger, and place it within your hand.
Pardon my selfishness if I don’t walk that road that defiles me of being this man.
You ask, saying that its all about forgiving the past. That we all have a good time.
Yet it drips off of your lips, the time when I spoke out, and didn’t make the words rhyme.
I was banished. I was cursed. I was the outcast. I was no longer the best friend.
I was saved. My words hid in a box. I was the freak without a leash. I was the very end.
So, forgive me, if I silently bow out of a reunion of those that wish to see me hang.
If I show up, I’m cut. I will bleed. I will be the single neck, amid the hungry fang.
You see, you all have made me out to be this person that resides within your mind.
Yet, I live constantly with the ghosts that walk around, and constantly live within mine!
There are several I have managed to burry, and silently put to rest.
However, this last trigger you offer, has been the one that has put me to the test.
Every time I put shovel to ground, every single time I start to dig, I have to look around.
I know you hide back, with the feelings you found. You want this. Dripping blood make a sound.
I have another pistol to my head
I digress, I am so far removed
I have another dream, or so its said.
We had our time, and its no longer you. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/21/2007 7:47:46 PM | You're incrediable... You have a talent that I could only dream of. I love reading your posts..  | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/21/2007 8:58:29 PM | | ^^^ True dat!^^^^^ This boy can write for sure!! :) | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/22/2007 3:04:04 AM | If I were you
****************
We had it. We walked that road.
We did it, we watched each other explode.
The time has passed, and we were supposed to mature.
We have become "adults", yet at times Im not so sure.
I understand I have played my part. I realized where I failed.
I know I was half of a heart. I know I was half inside the coffin that was nailed
Yet...
I can honestly say.
Standing here, right now, to this day...
If I were you, and I left holes inside your life
If I were you, and I broke apart your dreams...
If I were you and I traded love for this strife
If I were you, and I broke you apart at the seams...
We're so different now. When I call I have the phone in one hand, and the pistol in the next.
We changed over the years. When I talk to you, I worry that every single this will be heard out of text.
If I were you, and I left holes inside your dreams
If I were you, and I broke apart your life...
If I were you and nothing was like it seams
If I were you... I would think about when it was all right.
Yet...
I know my part.
I know exactly where I failed.
I cant go back in time. I cant replace the me with you.
But if I could go back in time, this is what I would choose...
If I were me, I wouldnt leave any holes inside my life.
If I were me, I wouldnt worry so much about my dreams.
If I were me, I would have worked much harder, and removed the trigger from the knife.
If I were me... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/22/2007 3:17:57 AM | What We Cant Say
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A collective waltz. A recording I spin, that I made the week before.
A song I invent. A caption of the hopes I felt for a glimpse, but never store.
Now thats a lie.
You know Im awake when I lay next to you? You know that Im most alive.
You know that I bite my tongue when Im next to you. You know that I really try.
Now that is the truth.
Maybe he didnt mean to treat you so bad. Maybe he didnt. Maybe its all okay.
Maybe its that I feel more for you, maybe its that these are all words I can never say.
Maybe.
Maybe I can say them but never again look you in the eye, because I failed.
I failed to hold back, I failed to walk that line. But I managed to be honest, and true.
Now that ... is for you.
I know you are confused, and I know its all my fault. Put the barrel of the gun to my head.
Let this all be on my shoulders. Let it be on mine for the feelings I have had and the things I said.
Let it be... for me.
One day the final day will come, and I will stand before God and he will ask,
Is there anything you are guilty of?
I will then lower my head and say,
"Yes, I am guilty of the things we couldnt say. So I said them to myself. In my dreams. In my subtle thoughts. In my jokes, and in my writes. I said them. Forgive me. I didnt make this heart. YOU did. I tried so hard at times to keep these feelings at bey, but try as I might... I could not stop saying the things that we werent supposed to say!!!!"
And thats the truth.. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:08:13 AM | Do I need an Alter?
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On a barstool, or here wrapped up on my couch.
I run my fingers through my hair.
Im here alone at last, and the shaking hasnt stopped.
Do you really even care?
The crimes against me, yes they are real.
The all knowing... you know just how I feel.
The dark wont wash away, and the words dont come out right
Im here, home alone, is that going to work out for tonight?
Or...
Do I need an alter? Do I need to be somewhere else?
Do I need an alter, in order to be someone else?
I dont have an alter, just my guilt, my memories and me.
You provide the alter, and I will provide what you cant see.
A loaded pistol, and my nose is in the corner wall.
Searching for the boxes, to catch the bad things when they fall.
My knees buckle, I feel so damn week.
I can walk out that door, if its an alter that you seek!!
Do I need an alter, there has to be another way.
Im hanging on by threads here, Im breathing day to day.
What about this alter, the one you have built around my life?
What about the story, the one I couldnt see. What about my heart cut out, ripped apart, and placed inside this alter that, you call Me! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/8/2007 1:11:34 AM | Chained Angels
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Ive walked through the halls of the lost.
Ive studied their pain, and realized their cost.
Ive seen the secrets of men in power
And Ive seen how they acted in their desperate hour...
But nothing had me prepared for this...
Wrapped around a bottle at the bottom of my own grave
I whispered words, hoping my very own soul I could save.
"I failed, this much I know. I deserve a life of absolute hell.
Yet, I would ask that you would show mercy on me, just tonight."
The room was dark and so full of light, all at the same time. My eyes saw the light, yet my heart felt the darkness. I learned to shake as I took each step. It was a stone floor that spread out for miles and miles. Walls were all around me, and among them were chains I never placed. I heard the voice, and I would never be the same..
"The chains that bind them, serve only to remind them, of the lives they failed to touch."
I could see them now. Angels, pressed hard against a stone cold wall. A wall that drained them, yet they remained. A wall that convinced them, all was well. A wall that robbed them of their wings. Some angels had lost their wings all together, and they were the ones that never made a sound. Some angels had a few left, and they were the ones that screamed the most.
I walked among the cries, trying to figure out how this would pull the bottle and the grave away from the guild buried deep inside my life. One cried for laughter, another for harmony. Several cried out for solace, while even more cried out for peace. There was even one that cried from the bottom of life, screaming constantly about the need for a simple touch.
My heart was bleeding and burning, as I walked around the walls. The looming question inside my life, was begging to be voiced.
"Why have you brought me here? How is this the answer to my prayer? This is hurting deep inside, and I must ask.... why?"
The four word reply ripped the flesh from my faith. It tore into my soul like an acid burns through ones skin.
"You must now choose".
The room became darker as the brightness came alive. I could see more, yet the heat in my chest became a flame.
With labored step, I walked. Screams and prayers assaulted my hearts ear, and I tried so hard to walk away. There was no where to go. If I turned left, another walled room appeared. If I turned right, the very same.
Save me. Give me justice. Give me hope. I can show you mountains. I was a queen. I just wanted tenderness. I can teach you hate. I can make you famous. I can .... I will.... I was.... I .... I.... I....
The vomit came so fast, I didnt have time to react. The self fulfilling wishes were tying me up in knots. I couldnt take it anymore and I wanted to scream! Before the roar could leave my chest, I saw you chained against the wall.
You had your wings, yet you werent screaming. You werent crying. You werent wanting.
I walked towards you, and your eyes met mine. You were in the light! The closer I moved towards you, the brighter everything became! I reached to touch you, and you softly moved away. I could have saved you, yet you were comfortable with the wall. I walked closer, worried.
"Can I talk to you?"
You turned to look at me, and my world changed. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:02:06 PM | wow some awesome writing in here Cross... i loved if i were you... i liked a whole lot...
Bubbles | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/9/2007 11:16:46 PM | The Slip
**********
You say you want to bring it back to the way that it used to be.
You are worried, because that would be the demise of you and me.
You remember times when the love you felt was without the wandering.
That slip.
You lock yourself up in a mirror from time to time. Wondering what to do.
Should you focus on getting back to where you were, and leave me and you?
Should you play along and realize that things are going a little bit out of control?
That slip.
You will never leave, yet you miss the days of old. When a kiss was a real kiss.
You tie yourself up, confused to the point of worry. What most will you eventually miss?
The things you think about late at night, before you sleep, toy with your mind.
That slip.
Should it be the vows or the wows? Should it be both? Should it be me or him?
I know my time with you has been heaven. I also know my odds in this are slim.
You also know that you cannot have your cake and eat it too, for much longer.
That slip.
Candle lit nights and songs that pierce your heart to its very most inner core.
Mornings of conversations, real love growing so strong. Whats actually in store?
You push questions to yourself so far away. What is it your eventually going to say?
That slip.
That slip is burning you inside. That slip is a monster you wont always be able to feed.
That slip is a desire that grew when he made that choice. That slip is creating this need.
That slip burrows and burns and cries while it twists and turns. Its inside of you now...
That slip. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/9/2007 11:34:11 PM | One More Last Time
**********************
One call, and we can at least get that out of our system.
One call, and we found out that we have very little resistance.
We talked and we laughed. The people turned away as you and I grew.
Talking about life, and games. We talked about dreams, and who knew.
We fell down.
We burned a candle that we never thought would reach the very end.
We lit a fuze we never fully expected to burn. Now were more than "friends".
Just one kiss, only because that would put an end to this desire and need.
Just one kiss, only because it would close the door. No more the feeling to feed.
The kiss was amazing, and it spun our world around and around.
We stood there afterwards, holding each other, never making a sound.
What if we were together? Just once. Just to seal the feelings inside our hearts.
What if we did it just once. What if we cut each other open just to kill this where it starts?
What if we pulled our lives apart and ripped at the very cores of our soul?
What if we did it just once? Just once, to ensure we were losing full control.
What if this was the last time we did this? What if this was the last time we tried?
What if we just tried it once more. Once more to close the door. What if we cried?
What if this was the last time? What if we called it an end after this one last time?
We could make it an ending. You leave your heart somewhere else, and I will leave mine.
What if we did it just once more? Just one more "last time"?
Tie me up and light me on fire. Just one more time. Show me heaven, just one more time, then tell me its a lie. Cut my skin and tell me its all in the name of love, just one more time. Kiss me while you break my bones, just one last time. Look me in the eyes while you tell me that you love me, just one more last time.
Just one more last time. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/10/2007 12:14:34 AM | When the Madman Stops
*************************
Ive written about soldiers, and how they bleed and how they die.
I write about them because they deserve my respect. They all know why.
They provide me the freedom I have to write about them. Good or bad.
They are my hero's. They make me smile and break my heart. Glory sad.
Ive written about my father, the greatest man I have ever even heard of.
Aside from my kids, he is one of the only men I can say I honestly love.
I write about him because of what he has done to change me and my life.
He took me on as a son, when he made my mother his first and only wife.
Ive written about my kids, because they are perfect and deserve so much more.
They are the one area in this life that pines me. They hit me to my very core.
They are flawless. They are real. They are genuine when Im fake. They are me.
They remain stainless, while I wash away mine. They are the dream only I can see.
I have written about pain because its all around us. Its what makes us run and cry.
Just like the soldiers, the emotions wrap us up. Its tough when you first learn to die.
Pain is the dark side of love. Its the suprising tax they put on the back side of dreams.
Yet, it must be spoken. It must be sung about, lest a lifetime of dreamers never her us scream.
Ive written about hope, because I couldnt live in a world in which this didnt exist.
Of all the emotions between love, hate, pain, rage, and loss, hope is what I would insist.
Its the final out we have when were holding two cards so close to our chest.
Its the one wish we have when were up against lifes very best.
And finaly, I have written about love. Because its what we all want and what we all need.
Its the final rose on the casket as well as the very first in the room of birth. Its our natural greed.
Its the color in the flame. Its the sensation we feel that never leaves us the same.
Its the reason we race. The reason we search. The reason call it soley by its name.
Love.
And now... now the words are failing. The dreams are becoming far too distant. The blur is more than I can see.
The pen is getting far too heavy. The dying soldier who has no kids, but is missing his dad while he dies on a field, in some unknown country, is getting tired. He knows where his heart will race to just after his last breath is given up. He knows where his hope resides. He knows how many roses will fall on his coffin. He knows.
The pen, much like the sword, must be layed down for a time. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/10/2007 1:20:54 AM | Thanks hon, for the triumphant return of my favorite madman. Late in the night, it's good to know I can again come here to catch up on my reading. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/12/2007 10:19:25 PM | Hope and Pray
****************
That first kiss was mazing. That was when you and I began. That first rush that first blush that first, "What have I done". That was you and I. That was tomorrow playing itself out in yesterdays form. That was a dream waking up and pushing away reality. That was you and I.
That first time. That first look. The very first sounds. The visions of you and I, the thoughts of you and I all around. That first time. The scars on my back and the ones deep inside my life, were burried so deep. You and I, together, making feelings and love out of so much. Laying so long, talking in our sleep.
One last choice. I know you have no desire to make.
One last venture. I know we have no wish to take.
I cant put the two cards on the table, because I know which you will choose.
If I do place them down, I know the card you will pick... either way, I lose.
Hope and prey you never find your way back to me.
I hope and prey you will some day find a way to see.
Confusion is just the first part of what were about to walk through...
Confession is the very first part of what Im about to explain to you...
I will walk with you. Just hope and pray that at the end of the day...
Its you and I that the world hoped and prayed for... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/12/2007 10:37:05 PM | The crisp octave of your voice.
How can I leave?
The vision of your tears.
What can I do?
The silence of all we were.
The loss of me and you. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:10:48 AM | I sat across the table from the king. The king of the land I was invading. I liked this king. I was honest with this king, to a point. I didnt tell him my battle plan, or the land I had taken, but I did tell him I was invading his land. I expected swords to be drawn. I knew blood would be shed. I prayed that he would kill me. He shrugged. That killed a part of me. He said, "If its my land you want, well you cant have it. You can occupy it from time to time, but I still want it. " I asked him how he could say that, knowing it was his land to oversee and protect. He shrugged, "this is how I rule my kingdom".
I stood up from the table. I had to breathe. My head was swiming. This king had the most prized kindom that the known world had. Yet, he didnt care. Sure, he loved his kingdom, but he refused to fight. I showed up to this meeting with scars all over my body from the fights I fought. I lost every single one of them, yet I still wanted my land. And I finaly get to sit with a King... and he doesnt care. My scars washed away. Every sword I have ever gripped, felt lame in my hand. Theres no attack.... Perhaps that was his method, yet he said I could occupy the land. I win either way, except I cant call it my land.
I walked away from the table. Looking over my shoulder at him. He sat and ate the grapes at the table. He never studied me. He never cared. I had never met someone like this King.
I walked towards the fireplace. My life was racing. I was never going to die. I knew that. I couldnt die. I wont die. There was never any die in me when I found the land I wanted. I could very well accept the proposal he just offered me. I could die a content man, living on his land. I could. I could live on his land and always be under him. Yet... I was never wired that way.
Turning back towards the king I said, "I beg your pardon your majesty, but you realize what I am telling your right? I am invading your land. I want your land. I dont think you can care for it and utilize it like I can, therefore I want it for my own! I am moving in on your kingdom!!!"
The King looked at me for a few minutes. Looking at my veins pulsing from my neck. My hand inches from my sword. The willingness to die, in my eyes. The sweat pouring off my brow. The intent in my heart. Then he spoke...
"If you think you can take this land, do so. If you think this land is yours, then by all means do your very best. However, you cant take it. You simply cant. I will explain to you why you cant." The king stood up, and looked out the window. "You werent here when I made this land. You werent here when I saw this land almost burn to the ground. You werent here when I, myself, tossed my very own water on it, in order to save it. You werent here back then, and I was. This land is mine. Its mine because I saved it back then, and the whole world should know that!!!"
I was rocked back on my heals. I had to speak, even with my hand a mere inches from my hilt...
"You saved this land from a fire that could have destroyed it, I admire that. I honestly do. I would have done the very same. Yet there are a few things that I can see. Allow me to explain..."
My heart was racing. I was explaining to this king why I was willing to give my very life for his kingdom. Why I was this zealot that wanted to take over what I felt he was ruining.
"You see land. I see a kingdom. You see dirt, where I see a field. You see you where I see them. You complain about how that fire made your kingdom an amazing place, yet you arent getting the recognition for helping save it. Well sir, where I come from, thats a second rate king. Ive burried more fires than the one you knew. I continue to fight fires in my kingdom, but Im not willing to let anyone move in on them. You, sir... have lost your fight. You keep telling me about you, of which I do enjoy the company, yet I fail to respect. You have this kingdom that the world wants, and you are willing to whore it out, as long as you are recognized. Im ashamed of you, my sir. You ... you I pitty."
I pulled my sword, and as soon as it cleared leather it was at his throat.
My words were broken. They didnt really flow. My heart was racing. I was having trouble breathing.
"I was born to have my own kingdom. I was born to love my land. I was born to make it all right. I see you and I cringe. In the times we have spoken, we have grown close, yet when I tell you of my plans you shrug. You balked. You blinked. You never once indicated you were going to draw your sword. You were willing to let me camp. You coward. You blind man. You fool!"
I pulled my sword away as I heard the king start to talk... yet I couldnt hear anymore. My sword flashed back to his throat...
My final words...
"Before I came before you tonight... I walked through your kingdom. I loved it. I wanted it. It was everything I was looking for. Yet one thing and one thing only stopped me from bull-rushing into your land. Your people love you. They want you as their king. You have been their king for over 13 years. They love you. Yet you whore them out. That enraged me. To no end. However, the people and the kingdom is what Im after. Yet, they love you. My kingdom will have to lie within me."
In an instant I flipped my sword around, dropped onto my knees, and pushed the hilt of my sword towards the king.
He stood above me looking for an instant, then gripped my hilt.
"This is how you fail? Because of the people? Have you seen what I have done for the people?? Regardless... You failed. As I told you that you would. Its such a shame, I actually liked you."
I remember him calling for someone, just before my own steel tasted my neck... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/19/2007 2:05:27 AM | I had it all written out. My in vino veritas. I had my feelings all spread out in the open.
I had every single one of my cards layed out on the table. I had it all spelled out.
I had every single memory broke down and every single word, saved and opened.
And Im doing it all over again. Chasing a rainbow. The closer I feel, the further it has to run. Its the nature of rainbows. Its why they retain so much beauty. They cant be caught. Its not a pot of gold they hold. It a lifetime of dreams. You run, they whisper. They cant stop, because they are bound. They can never yield, because they are bound to a higher purpose. They entice you, they love you, they cry and they bleed. But they arent yours. They are someone elses star. Whey you get cut, that blood you bleed isnt yours, it belongs to another. When you lay away at night, and the sleep you lose... thats the sleep they are getting.
Chasing rainbows and wishing on a stolen star. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:32:53 PM | The skin you have.
You feel the stings. You hear the words. You know how its starting to play itself out.
You hear about how Im no loger yours, you know about you and I, with out a doubt.
You have a skateboard. You have a bike. You have the games. You can do what you like. Yet they took away your F.A.D., didnt they?
They took it away, saying that this is so much better. So much better for who?
Not much better for me. Not much better, at all for the questions rising up in you.
Not much better at all.
When I call you, the line is always closed. When I pray for you, that line is always clear.
We're being told we cant talk, because Im not yours. Yet, the time for you and I is getting very near!
Trust me when I tell you this.
I gave you this link, simply so you could read these few lines. I told you to come here, so you could see me from time to time.
Its me bud. Without the thoughts you have. Without the influence of anyone else. This is me.
This is me showing you all that I am. This is me showing you how I feel. This is you and I... working on being a "We".
I love you more than you know. Ive walked in the shoes that grow on your feet.
Ask me about that sometime... its a place in my life, where you and I should meet. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/22/2007 4:32:07 PM | | Thank you for this place you have created, hon. I love to come here late in the night, when the air is still and the world would be quiet if not for the interstate on the other side of the trees. The crickets sing, occasionally I hear the soft call of an owl, it's the perfect time to come here and lose myself in your thoughts, in your words. Because you are so very dear, I would've kept coming back, even if they hadn't paid me. I'm glad you found your way back, darlin'. It's a better place with you in it. Now that I'm all caught up, you'd best get busy! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/23/2007 1:58:35 AM | The music is playing in the background. The tv is telling me about the games I missed. The air is comfortable... yet, everything is amiss.
I fix my dinner and I clean up my plates. I walk around and I hear the songs play in the background... nothing feels right. I miss your kiss.
Turning off the music I realize I cant write. I realize Im retarded. I realize this is so forced. I realize that I want to write tonight, but its just not there. My heart and my fingers arent talking tonight. I curse them both. I want so bad to tell you that I love you. I want so bad to bleed. I seriously miss that. I miss knowing that my blood shows up with the same color that my heart does.
The music is playing in the background. It sounds just a little bit different tonight. It has a slower pitch. It has a darker theme. It haunts just a deeper part of me, tonight.
Twisting inside of myself.... I turn the volume up... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:04:24 AM |
Thank you for this place you have created, hon. I love to come here late in the night, when the air is still and the world would be quiet if not for the interstate on the other side of the trees. The crickets sing, occasionally I hear the soft call of an owl, it's the perfect time to come here and lose myself in your thoughts, in your words. Because you are so very dear, I would've kept coming back, even if they hadn't paid me. I'm glad you found your way back, darlin'. It's a better place with you in it. Now that I'm all caught up, you'd best get busy!
Thank you for that W.R. I have mixed emotions about this place, and this thread... but I keep coming back. Its a solace of sorts. I certainly appreciate friends and readers such as yourself. I write for myself, but from time to time people like you show up that, for what ever reason, understand me... and feel what I feel. I thank you for that. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:03:53 PM | | heya Cross, loved your wrting, im a bit of a lurker these days havent found my muse, tired of writing about the same old things so i look to others for inspiration... your thread is in the top three that i visit and i love it in here... keep it up bud! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/29/2007 6:29:42 PM | The lights are out, the music is turned down... where are you?
Im doing it all over again. Im wishing on my dreams. Im dreaming that my wishes were real. All the while, my dreams and wishes are stealing from me. I close my eyes and a small part of me knows its about to die. The dreams inside of me are killing very small parts of me each and every night.
This isnt my dream, and this isnt feeling at all right. Yet, I close my eyes so easily.
In my killing dreams I see you and I. In those dreams that bleed me dry, I have your hand in mine. Even if I never see you slice away at my skin, I have you with me, knowing when I awake, I never will again.
Pry my eyes open, burn me when I drift.
I beg you to do the very last thing I want. Deny me from the sweet release of my dreams. Even if they take my breath and rob me of my life... its there I wish to roam. If its a dream that will kill me, if its a hope that will put me into the ground... then find those that weep over caskets, because I cannot walk away from this painful dream.
I cannot and I will not. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/29/2007 9:20:09 PM | Walk into my life. Tell me its all going to be okay.
Walk through my door, cringe at the words Im about to say.
Walk in.
Walk into my life and smile. You know you want to be here.
You hate being here, yet you know its making you pull me near.
Walk in.
Walk into my life and tell me that you love me. Walk in and smile.
Walk in and rip my heart to shreds. Walk in a make me bleed across the miles.
Walk in.
Tell me you never wanted to be here. Tell me this, while you look me in the eye.
Tell me you never wanted to find that hidden place. Tell me you dont, tell me the lie.
Walk in.
When I tell you I have nothing left in me to chase. Nothing left in me to love.
Walk inside that room I made just for you. When I pull, teach me to shove.
Walk in.
Walk inside of me and promise me I will never be the same.
Walk inside my life. Just like you did.
Walk in. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:52:42 PM | | Eric.....very intense......lots of amazing writes....you never cease to turn the fire up a notch! Thank you for putting into words, even though I know it's for you, what so many of us feel almost all the time......you rock my friend. | |
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