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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/4/2005 12:24:44 PM | Your the air in my lungs, the blood pumping through my heart.
Your the dawn in my day, the sun on my face, and the piercing of the dart.
The dream I have when I round out that perfect day.
All the correct words you hear, when I have nothing simple to say.
Your my yesterday, my tomorrow, and forever my right now.
You have managed to change my life, and at times I dont even know how.
So much could be said about the smile you carry amid the melevolent storm.
You could be like the rest and walk a tainted line, but youre not the average or the norm.
Thank you for this time. Thank you for being with me throughout this shakey hour.
Thank you for being there, waiting patiently, when I finally climbed that Ivory tower.
Thank You! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/4/2005 9:29:11 PM | well i'm "double dipping" but this poem was supposed to be posted here
Remembering a time
not so long ago
when nothing seemed so desperate
when life seemed to move a little slow
No rush to get anywhere
No hurry for anything to start
no need to race, there was no real plan
No concern over filling that missing piece in my heart
Then you came along, and something hit
reminicsent of a brilliant summer storm
a crash of light, a thunderous roar
A true love for me to hold
Suddenly that lackadaisacal attitude
kicked into overdrive
An urgency to make those plans
A desire to speed up this ride
The story began to quickly unfold
the missing piece of me now found
and with a deep breath, and a steady step
Following my heart, i'm Texas bound | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/7/2005 11:58:26 PM | Soon there will come a day, when heart and hand unite
Reality of a dream, as you hold each other tight
Something always talked of, Yet never expecting to atain
Fufilling a dream, becomming more than just a game
I knowing of the feelings and troubles you may face
Will stand beside you both, and willingly fill this space
The Road that I have traveled with you both in my life
Has truly been a blessing, I'm sorry I've cause strife
I don't expect forgivness or want it just the same
The past should be left there, along with my shame
I turned into a person who isn't who I am
I lashed out at a brother with more that just a hand
So now I feel alone, from actions caused by me
Not kowing what I've lost and unable to see
Learning from my actions, is something I don't do well
Everything is situational, I hope that next time I can tell..... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/8/2005 7:46:09 AM | Almighty is the heart that can love and forgive
Knowing that it's fear that causes most mistakes.
When a man is fearful, too proud to reach out
He will turn inward, if only for just a brief moment.
When he reopens his eyes he will turn outward
and desperately grab onto what he thinks is strength.
This is the time that the choices are endless,
and confusion fed fear with usually win out.
Don't be judgmental upon his heart for errors he will make
Just stand proud and show him...feel his heartbeat calm.
Look deep into his open heart and welcome your man back home.
............. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 6:12:30 PM | Theres a heart that burns deep in the night. Its the one that wakes you up with a cold sweat.
Theres a passion the burns so bright, and leaves a mark inside of you that you will never forget.
In that time, know me.
In that hour, show me.
In this life, take MY hand and let this love grow
In this life, take MY hand and I will let your heart know.
I will let it know that I wont leave. I will let it know that I wont betray.
I will cuddle and hold you, I will listen to your tears, I promise I will stay.
They call me names, yet you know my heart
You have heard my voice, you knew it from the start.
Sleep easy my Queen. Find your blessed rest.
We will be the pair, that is envied by all the rest.
~Your Cross | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 6:33:22 PM | Hell yeah buddy !! Anyone that can't feel that one ... it's time for a pulse check :>)
Kim ¦¬] | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 6:55:23 PM | In a cool night air, bowing on a sacred knee
You have to face your love, looking down at me.
I never talk, just to hear my words, and what they may say.
I never touched your heart, just to find a new game to play.
Yet your in my life, and your moving all around.
Your the gunshot, your the emotional starting sound.
You did this! You made me love, you showed me a smile.
You waltzed into my life, and you drug me that extra mile.
I love you
~Cross | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 7:23:25 PM |  Go to see the madman is finally back in action.
Hope all is good mate! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 7:38:16 PM | The only way this Madman could be better would be if...
Thank you for the warm welcome brotha!!! | |
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99
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Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 114 | |
| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 8:43:53 PM | IF................................care to elaborate?
LOL!
(totally love your stuff)
;) | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/13/2005 10:32:26 PM | The madman wasn't gone, he's never far away
His words live in our minds and hearts each and every day
Gone for a time, Yet back to where he always had a place
The words he often spins puts a smile or tear on every face
The road to which he travels would be the end to lesser men
Yet he chooses here, time and time again
Stop for just a moment and look at what he's done
He's more than a childs father and more than a mothers son
He's blessed us with the words from deep inside himself
A window to his soul, with beauty pouring out
Glad your back in the swing Brother....... | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/14/2005 4:27:07 PM | crossfade.. i loved it babe
me me me, you are so talented hon, nice job | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/14/2005 10:42:02 PM | WHEN YOUR EYES SPOKE TO ME
****************************
I looked into your eyes, and they were all but void of pain
For a brief moment I stared, wishing my own eyes would show the same.
I walked away, because I knew that you werent real
I thought eyes without pain, were eyes that couldnt feel.
You caught the sleeve of my shirt as I turned to walk away
Your eyes then began to speak the words your mouth couldnt say.
Never has anyone had such a power over me
You used your eyes to show my heart how to see!
~Cross | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/14/2005 11:28:52 PM | WHEN ITS OVER
**************
In front of me is a blank page. An empty room that I am allowed to decorate. A room that bears the blank walls to display myself.
What shall I chose to decorate this place? Shall it be the pain that courses throught the heart that is losing the precious porcelain dove of love? Or shall I choose the brush that paints pictures of hope and tomorrow? I see now that many vices are within my reach. Alas the question arises, what then shall I use?
Would it be more pragmatic if we were to further expand on a few of the mediums? Could we gain a complete understanding of the decorative purpose if we could only enlighten ourselves to the causes and effects of, ... the open room, the blank page... the trusting heart? I dont think so...
Words. That is all they are. Words. Like the metaphoric wold in the clothing of the sheep. They are disguised as miniature treaties of the heart, but when exposed they can cut and bleed their victims dry. The foolish naivety of the heart. Allowing so many "sheep" to so casually pass through the gates of their own security. The gate that was set up to provide protection from the vile. The Trusted. For its not the ones that we fear, its not the wolves that are dishing out the madness. Its the sheep. The ones we have sworn to lay our lives down and protect. Their operative is trust. They dont live by the same rules that are engraved into our hearts. Their rules are simple... DESTROY BEFORE DESTROYED.
No longer is my page blank. The walls of the empty room no longer hold the vancancy that once rendered them innocent. Now they bleed properly. Looking close you can see the hands clutching at fragments of dreams. The fragments that cut with the gentleness of a woodmans axe. They tangle the heart like razor wire, cutting and lacerating deeper and deeper with every pump of the crimson fluid that was so freely given. And never again is what you swore the time before. Now you are allowed to walk the halls of reality and face the bitter truch that love leaves an acidic taste in the mouth, and an unsurmountable canyon that engulfs the heart of the trusting.
What then shall I say to you? Who then have you rendered yourself in this life? I found my new happiness, yet your clothing reaks of the sheep. You show up with your loaded smile and your razor sharp tongue. What then shall I say to you?
No more... It ends now.
Now it is complete. The day is no longer unending.
The cannon no longer holds its charge.
NOW THE WOUNDED ARE ALLOWED TO DIE. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/14/2005 11:35:24 PM | GHOST DREAMS
*************
Take a step, but close your eyes.
He who fails, is he who never tries.
Lies and deceit wont heal your broken heart.
Where do you turn when you feel those feelings start?
Amber lovers wont wash colors from the dreams
Your alone in the dark, and ho one hears your screams.
Reach for the candle but be very careful of the flame.
The Ghost is back, all thats changed is her name...
Do you still recall passion, or to you, is it a dying art?
Trust is a commodity unaffordable to the broken heart.
This is a new one, and she wont cause you so much pain.
But you still opt to do all of your crying, in the thunderous rain.
Well, close your eyes and pray for that blessed sleep.
She may be all brand new, but Ghost dreams come aweful cheap. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/15/2005 12:10:57 AM | She looked across the room and asked me a question, "Can we just move straight into the part where we live happily ever after?"
I picked up my coffee and took another drink. It was so hot.
"How come we cant just say that we passed all the preliminary tests that couples go through right at first?"
I stood up from my chair, with my coffee in my hand, and started to pace.
"How come we cant just move into the fairytale ending?"
I looked down at this person I was beginning to love and gave her my answer to all her questions. "This aint no love story. Were not fulfilling the American dream. We cant skip the scenes just because we find ourselves all to familiar with the opening stanza. This aint no love story!!"
I hung up the phone. It was, perhaps, too abrupt, but a lot of things about her and I had been aweful abrupt. Then I looked down at her picture on the coffee table, yes, I had done the painfully right thing. I sat down and finished my coffee. It was, after all, d*mn good coffee. A drink would have been nicer, but I was working on that aspect of my life. Actually I was trying to figure out exactly what it was that was keeping me from the bottle.
Pouring another cup of coffee, I turned her picture over. Taking a look outside my window told me that it may turn colder again. Finishing my coffee, I struggled to recall where I layed my coat down.
The phone rang on and on and on and on....
(this like the past few... are very old writes. Nothing is implied in their meanings anymore)
~Cross | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/15/2005 12:15:04 AM | Dancing in the window at dawn. Your arms fit me so fine.
This cold wind doesnt cut so deep, having you in my life. Your really here, and your a part of all I thought was unreal. You dance. You dance and I move. You smile and I shake. Im not that strong you know. You speak and I drop things... I want to hear you.
You smile and I stop. You cry and I bend the realms of time and reality. You hurt and I change the faces of kings. You bleed and I move the hands of time.
Your you, and thats why I love. Your how I love.
Your the very best part of US! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/15/2005 3:08:27 AM | To forget , cause i forgot , that im not chosen , to be one
But apart of something bigger than
Can be portrayed on a screen, as my life isnt to you undone
Its only the weave for you web to be won
So only can i say whats on my mind
Otherwise a question would be answered in a rhyme
I havent the time , to waste for nothing
I seek all of the knowledge
From open hearts that think the same
Its not my burning flame
Its not me going insane
Its only a mirror filled with blame
So i hear your thoughts
Make me strong
The fizzy water from bottled water
And the message is long.
Daniel BLake. | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/15/2005 11:05:21 PM | Im waking up soon. Knowing this dream will never end. This elation just became a living breathing deity. The sky cant hold it at bey any longer. Emotions cant be unbriddled a second more. The collision of the planets is just around the bend. The applause of Heaven is starting to warm up. Life cant be taken, death cant be given. I know of 19 reasons that I can stretch this into a lifetime of blissful happiness. My prayer is being answered.
~Cross | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/15/2005 11:08:03 PM | *bounce!!
"the collisions of the plantes is just around the bend" <-------how perfect is that!!!
19 days! | |
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| Diary of a Madman
Posted: 1/16/2005 6:45:18 AM | AN ODD THING
************
An odd thing happened today. A feeling of let down, what the hell do I say? I found a stack of my old writtings, easily 4 inches thick. A pile of memories riddled in pain and youth, but emotions I can no longer make stick. The maturation process was learned through most of those pages. My life, how Im now shaped and how I now move, was formed through those written rages. I thought that when I found them, I would have so much more that I could share with all of you. But seeing the blind, youthful rage, I realized. There was so much back then I had left to do.
Those sheets cried out for justification. Verification of a very small boy. They were anthems of a child that spoke too soon, acted far less, and took the longest road to his real joy.
But now,... here I am. And I know here name. I know how she smiles. I have seen her walk, and I know how and why she moves. She doesnt do it for you or I. She does it because she comfortable. I have seen her happy and I know why.
I always thought it would be an insurmountable task, winning the heart of a Queen. But LOVE is a fickle harlot, your not allowed to know what it will all eventually mean. Yet, I have seen her move, and I know why she does....
She doesnt mean to shift mountains. She doesnt mean to remove walls. She doesnt mean to change lives. She doesnt answer to curtain calls. Shes just my babygirl. She moves. She smiles when life says she isnt supposed to. She sings when the whole world thinks that shes off key. She stops my world on its axis. She reaches through the fog and holds me. She does all of this, just for me.
She amazes me.
She moves. I have seen her! | |
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