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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/27/2006 3:51:33 PM | My 3.5 year-old son has a diagnosis of autism, though after receiving speech and occupational therapy it looks like he is a higher functioning autistic child.
This does present challenges but he is worth it, being his Mommmy is the most rewarding thing in my life and he is adored by all of my friends as well as my family and my ex's family. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/27/2006 5:16:44 PM | I have a child with ADHD, OCD, ODD which also is a disability. I just studied autism, and other disabilities including Mental . I can relate to what your all saying. It's not easy raising a child with any disability and it takes alot of patience and love.. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:13:52 PM | Wow! I'm so glad to have read everyone's stories, info, thoughts, etc. on this thread. To be honest, I forgot all about it shortly after I put it up. It was my first and only attempt at using the forums. I thought I'd give everyone an update while I'm here. Lennon, my Angel, just turned 4 in January. She's doing as well as she can and we're getting things ready for her to start school this fall. We've moved back to Collingwood, ON with my father who's a great help and it's great because Lennon has the same PT, OT, and all the rest that she had before she moved with me to Barrie. Anyways, thanks again for taking the time to share. :)
P.S. - Yes, I'm still single!  lol | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:27:30 AM | Good Morning everyone,
Im still getting to know the forums here lol
I was pleased to see this thread...
I have a special needs child also...he will be 9 in June.....most children with my son's syndrome dont survive....but he is my joy.....everyone loves him...lol
He has meckel syndrome....we have only found 7 still alive with it thus far that we've been in contact with....one passed away last fall....
there are other aspects to him also...lol....will go into them another time :)
Barrieboy - my sister and her family live in barrie lol nice city ;)
have a great day all,
hugs,
silkie | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/28/2006 8:40:30 PM | | Hello everyone I am a single parent of a spl needs child..She will be 14yrs.old next month Wow just to write that is awsome...She has CP and multi disability. Dr.'s didn't give her much of a chance to make it. As for My X she took of when My Baby-girl was born... Long story. any way I just wanted to say thank you for not giving up on your babies...the road will be long and hard but you have someone right there with you that Loves you very much!! OK my spelling sucks. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/28/2006 9:03:14 PM | Hi, I"m separated and live with 2(girls) children but my youngest who is 8yrs. She has CP, Cortical Visual Blindness, Seizures, GT feeds(feeding tube), Severe Sleep Apnea and wheelchair bound. At birth the drs said she would never make it. Well, 8 yrs later she has proved them wrong. I wanted this child even with her disabilities so that is why I chose to adopt her. She has acheived so much in her little life and will acheive more. She is 7/24 care and without that I don't know what I would do....She is what gets me up every morning. I love all my (4)children and would never change that.
Enjoy life with yr child(ren). They are the ones who will always be there for you and give you that unconditional love. They never judge or expect what you can't give. So Congrats to all you who have special children and know that you are not alone out there in the big world.
Parenting a special child for me is no different than with my other children. They are all unique and special. HATS OFF TO ALL YOU DADS OUT THERE!!! | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:04:00 PM | Hi. I have 3 beautiful children, but my middle child is Bipolar. It really is horrible that people do not see this as such a disability. It is just as much as autism is. I have had people just look at me like I caused my son to be this way, that I do not "disicipline" him hard enough. His father cannot accept it, tho it is clear that he is better behaved while taking certain medications. But after a while those stop working and we have to find a new something to help him all over again. He has such a huge heart, but he cannot control the chemical imbalances in his head. I wish more people would take the time to understand this illness.
He and my youngest are both partially deaf as well...a genetic trait passed down from thier daddy. My 4 year old is quite loud no matter where we are or what we are doing. And again, because he does not "appear" to have anything wrong, it is my fault that is loud talk annoys them.
My children's disabilities may not be so serious to some people, but for me, I see the struggle everyday that they go thru.
BTW, sad to hear about the baby's mother.I hope she regains her senses.
Be Well Everyone
Anna
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 3/29/2006 8:56:14 PM | I am an official single mother to two children ages 6 and 3. My daughter who is 6 has Noonan Syndrome. The syndrome is mainly a heart defect, which she doesn't have. Her case is mild one. However, she does have other traits such as, developmental delay (but is still with her age group, with aid of TA), mild physical features(which you can't even tell), short stature usually 4'11 or 5'0 when she's older. She is a very cheery girl, with lots of love! She was lucky to have so much of it from both parents when we were together. My girl is quite a handful though so, I get respite, thank god!
My time is devoted to both of my children and going to school full time. It's hard raising a special needs child, especially when she gets emotionally upset. Sometimes it leaves me frazzled and worn down. My love for both of them keeps me going though. Also visualizing that, my children need me to teach them about life and living, because they'll need to survive when I'm gone.
Congrats and Way-2-Go to all of us parents in the same boat because we work so hard, and damn it we deserve it!! | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/28/2006 12:08:44 PM | Hello all,
I sincerely take my hat off to all parents of disabled children.
My daughter is 15 now has C.P. she is in a chair, fulltime, needs to be fed. She is without a doubt the most important person in my life. She lives with her mom and brother and I see her 3 times a week or more and have her every second saturday night.
As we all know it is not easy. My ex. wife is a great mom and does a great job. Althought Alecia has these inablilaties physicaly, she can comunicate. she has a wicked sence of humour wakes up smiling and goes to bed smiling. She is in grade 9 now at regular highschool and continues to be very popular amongst her peers.
All of our kids are very special. so love them always and lets all be thankfull they are part of our lives. I am not sure what life would be like with out Alecia being a part of it.
Take care everyone. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/28/2006 10:20:51 PM | | I have two children,11 and 5, and I love them more than anything. My oldest has ADHD but is on medicine and seems to get better as she gets older but my youngest was born six weeks early with no heartbeat but SURVIVED and has had developmental, physical, occupational and speech therapies but noone has bothered to tell me whats wrong and why she actually had to have these therapies (doctors dont think it was because of being born early). She still has problems with speech to this day and is very out of control. I have tried every discipline technique with her but no results. I couldnt take her out in public when she was younger due to sensory issues but she hasnt gotten any better. I just wish I could figure out how to help her but get nowhere with the doctors here (they just want to put her on ritalin) and I am the ONLY parent she has and my family cant stand to have her around. Anyone have any ideas? | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/29/2006 10:13:17 PM | | Something similar, but alas, different at the same time. My son is deaf, and has been deaf since he was born. Okay, that's a tad dramatic. He's completely deaf in one ear, and just partially in the other, but he can hear enough to make out some words when spoken to loudly. I find it hard at times, because I find that I have to repeat myself quite a few times before he can hear me. It pains me that his father refuses to cooperate with the audiologist, and wont give him any of his medical records (they need it to see what treatments work best for his family). I know the heriditary hearling loss thing comes from my son's father's side. No one in either sides of my family was hard of hearing, and was certainly not deaf. I currently have my son on the local school for the deaf's waiting list (its a 2 year waiting list, and the age of enrollment is 2 years old so it works out quite well). I get so angry at my son's father because he wont talk to me, and when he does, he hangs up the phone when I start talking about our son. I have been praying that my son gets to hear someday. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 5/30/2006 4:43:00 AM | | all 4 with speech delays, my oldest has adhd and my baby is deaf. however i refuse to let them be called disabled. the speech delays will work out, well except with the baby, and although deaf my baby will grow up and function normally, and the adhd has treatment. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children?? PDD/NOS
Posted: 5/30/2006 7:24:41 AM | I have a son with autism (PDD/NOS – non verbal). He is bright, engaging and a great communicator. He reads people very well and plays them like a pro.
Last fall I observed him go into school with a teacher holding his waist as he side stepped up the stairs. Seeing this same strangeness, I spoke to the teacher a week later. She explained that she read his file and it said he needed assistance going up and down stairs. I smiled and told her that over the weekend we went hiking and he glissaded (slid down a slippery rock field) with considerable expertise. She was surprised. He gave me a dirty look and run up the stairs and into the school.
From what I have seen, these kids are bright and capable (as much as anyone in their family). They have lots of time on their hands, so can develop some advanced skills (for better or worse). It seems that their chief impediment is language; NOT HEARING! Yet they communicate extremely well.
I have an extended rant on this topic, which might best be held for another time.
I would suggest that you toss out the “Common knowledge” and really look at and listen to your child. Sit with them and do what they do. Give then the authority to do what they want (for a while). Take them places and see what they like and don’t like. Most of all, don’t be bossy or to them vulgar. Try to communicate with a gesture, call with a whisper, guide with a feather light touch.
Then, get out the mirror. I mean no disrespect, but the greatest problem with these kids is the parents; perhaps well meaning, but often confused and misguided. Ask yourself what am I doing to really bug this kid? What could I do to address his real needs (not my notion of what a normal child is). He/she wants to feel empowered, loved and to have fun; just like any other kid.
A SPED liaison for the school (job to deny services) offered me a wonderful question. Is what you see typical for a child of that age or an artifact of Autism? Well, most of the time it is typical behavior, colored by the language deficit.
An autistic woman, pressed into public speaking when Temple Grandin could not make it to a meeting, was asked to fill in. She had no speaking skills and was very shy. I asked her if she could send a message back in time to her parents and teachers, what would it be? She did not understand the abstract nature of the question, so they moved on. Later that day she ran to the podium, turned on the sound system and announced very proudly, “WE KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK WE KNOW”! Half the audience was confused the other half cried. These precious people are just like everyone else, but trapped in a world that does not make sense.
To a parent that asked me how I manages me son so well (he was always great, even in very stressful situation). The fellow presented as a tradesman and looked a bit desperate. I suggested that he imagine that he were in a foreign country and did not speak the language, that everyone was very bossy and constantly complained because he did not know what to do. He seemed shell shocked. A while later he came back and said, OK I get it, but now what. I suggested that he learn to talk to his son without words, but with patience and love. This seemed equally confusing to him.
When I first saw that man, he was leading his son around by the wrist and the child has a vacant look. As we left I saw him offer two fingers to the boy. He took them, smiled and they walked along together.
I was inspired to write a book with my daughter (she is already published) offering an alternative perspective on Autism and the whole industry or education and “therapy”. That may yet come to pass.
These kids are bright, intelligent and capable people. We as a society need to understand that and adjust our own prejudice and confusion to adapt to them. Interestingly, they will meet us more than half way.
Cheers,
- Rick ;^) | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 39 | |
| Any single parents of disabled children?? PDD/NOS
Posted: 5/30/2006 1:16:18 PM | i as well have a 5 yr old son with PDD-NOS i knew at age 15 months there was something wrong with him. He was head smashing.. biting.... non verbal...not pointing and would go on these hysterical fits of anger. I knew right away without waiting 2 yrs for a bloody diagnosis what my son had. I had several autistic kids through school.
When my son was 2 and only knew 3 words i had had it.I wnet serching for help....and got him into a speech parenting class. I taught him sign language and it significantly decreased his tantrums. I waited and waited through hearing tests and finnaly a special preschool opened up so many doors for me!!! He is now diagnosed as of last year...and he also has sensory integration disorder as well.
Now...the things that drive us nuts like loud niose light touch taste and texture drives him crazy sometimes...he gets into sensory overload and needs to withdraw and hide or he screams and claps his ears shut and says IT HURTS.
now another thing we are dealing with is a reversion back to pull ups. Its driving me absolutey INSANE it seems as if hes being lazy or scared to go on the potty for # 2/s the doc cant understand it he just says its constipation....YAH RIGHT
well i have a bit of good news AT LAST A BEHAVIOR CONSULTANT IS STARTING WITH HIM THIS THURSDAY i have been waiting 4 months for him!!! yyyipppee | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/1/2006 9:50:26 PM | | Hello John. My name is Paul and I could not believe my eyes when I read your thread. My son is John Paul and he too has been diagnosed with Angelman's Syndrome del +. He lives with me full time and sees his mom once a week. He is an absolute joy as you well know these children usually are. I am going to the AS conference in London in July and wonder if you are going as well. Being a single father is hard enough but having special needs children makes it harder since there is no instruction manual that comes with it. My hat is off to you for looking after your daughter. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/22/2006 12:25:09 PM | hi im a mum to two gorgeous twin girls with cp.both are wheelchair uses ,the eldest twin is chair bound but the other has a bit of mobility.theyre now ten.fuul of life always smiling and great happy kids.however the younger twin has had 17 heart ops for a very complex heart condition she has and they havent finished yet.on top of that she has a feeding tube and recently had op and botox for her leg.i could go on but wont as i keep myself going by focusing on the good bits.all these ops andhospital trips have pyscologically affected my daughter but shes had some fantastic input from her school.
metime is precious as you can imagine and its very hardwork as you know but they are my world. ive joined a voluntary scheme ,a grou of mums all with special needs kids and if there are any parents struggling to cope with a diagnosis or coping with a different phase we go out to give emotional support.i better not go on any more please feel free to reply | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/22/2006 5:08:56 PM | I have two boys who both have a disability. My oldest 11 has Aspergers (plus other issues) and my youngest who is 7 has severe speech delay. I totally belief just be ther for them and give them all your support. My kids surprise me everyday. My son joined the special olympics and that just did wonders for him.
My challenge has been with dating of when to introduce my kids and how. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:52:42 PM | I have two children (teenagers now) and one of them has high functioning autism and ODD. He did not get a diagnosis until he was 12. It was wonderful to finally have an understanding of why he acts the way he does. His language is good his social skills suck  When he was younger I was told I was a bad parent that did not discipline him enough etc. I have found that just accepting him for him is the best way. He has skills and talents that I will never have so maybe I am the disabled one here. At times it is frusterating with other people because they just do not grasp why he is the way he is and want to "change" him to be a normal child. He has stated he is happy with who he is and does not want to change. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/28/2006 10:20:27 PM | I was looking at the Canadian Federal Budget for 2006 and just wanted to let you parents know what changes are heading your way with regards to Child Disability Benefit.....
Persons With Disabilities
Budget 2006 proposes to:
Increase the maximum annual Child Disability Benefit to $2,300 from $2,044, effective July 1, 2006.
Extend eligibility for the Child Disability Benefit to middle- and higher-income families caring for a disability tax credit–eligible child, including virtually all families that are currently eligible for the CCTB base benefit, effective July 1, 2006.
Increase the maximum amount of the refundable medical expense supplement (RMES) to $1,000 from $767 for the 2006 taxation year.
Over the next two years, Child Disability Benefit enhancements will provide $80 million in tax relief, and increasing the RMES will provide $25 million.
Examples—Child Disability Benefit
Megan earns $30,000 and has a child with a disability. Currently, she qualifies for the maximum Child Disability Benefit of $2,044 per year. As of July 1, 2006, Megan will receive $2,300 per year as a result of Budget 2006—a $256 increase.
Fred and Gillian also have a child with a disability. Their income of $80,000 currently disqualifies them from receiving the Child Disability Benefit. As a result of Budget 2006, they will become eligible for the benefit starting July 1, 2006. Their annual benefit will be $1,428.
Paul and Louise’s income is $100,000 and, as a result, are also ineligible for the Child Disability Benefit for their child. Like Fred and Gillian, they will become eligible for the benefit. The amount they would receive in this case is $1,028. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/28/2006 10:47:38 PM | that has gotta be the toughest thing in the world, i feel sorry for you guys, it must be so much heartache.
2-3 years ago whilst i was in my custody battle i was working with a fellow, he was an ex herion addict, his ex was a herion addict, he had the daughter who had a condition which basically meant one side of her body was much slower and wasn't as able, i can't remember the name of it now, though encouraging news he kept her going to physio and she was getting better. Ontop of all that he had to pay maintanence to his ex otherwise she would take the child off him.
And i thought i had it tough.. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/29/2006 2:34:00 PM | Hi,
Single dad of a 14 year old girl with Bi-Polar Disorder (used to be called Manic Depression).
I am not a bad looking guy, decent personality, decent job, etc...
I have been hard pressed to find anyone to date, I try to make my life situation clear upfront since really bad things can happen from time to time.
I am scared of integrating anyone into the family becuase my 2nd marriage ended about
3 1/2 years ago with me moving out because the daughter and the wife were on the verge of physical violence.
It is not an ex issue, her mother lives 2 states away and calls her every once in a long while.
I just don't know what to do, I have all the support, information, & I take good care of my daughter, she goes to special school for ED kids with problems like hers, but I find it difficult to just ask women out without having some idea of my situation becuase I don't want to lead
anyone on.
I get frustrated & yet the sun still comes up over the horizon every morning. So it goes. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:05:46 PM | | yes there are but it is hard for others to accept, I live in Vista California and my son has Complex Tourettes Syndrome, mood disorder nos, and ADHD he lives in a level 14 in Anaheim Hills at a theraputic horseback riding program. It is hard parental rights taken away from his father after he was born I knew my son was genetically pre dis-positioned and it would hit some day I just did not expect at age 2, he is my angle and love of my life he is almost 10 now and has been in a live in treatment for over 3 years he is my everything people just do not understand about tourettes syndrome I have heard of Angelman Syndrome I am finishing my psych degree. e me | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:38:24 PM | | hi i have a 4 yr old that is also has epilepsy, he has been on a lot of medications which do not work,he is under a number of hospitals etc etc, he is in hosp every two/three weeks with the fits they cam last up to 45mins not stop, i would really like to chat to anyone who has the same problems etc, | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/1/2006 3:28:50 PM | This is a great thread! I have two boys, one is 7 and autistic, one is 8 and PDD-NOS. Which is (heavy sigh - dontcha love the explanation part? could say it in my sleep) Pervasive Devlopmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified. Basically, has enough autistic qualities to affect his development, but not enough to get the full medical dx of ASD.
Anyone who really knows a child with any kind of a (for lack of a better word) disability has an instant bond with others in similar situations. Primary caregivers, especially. Too many instances to go into here, but it's not an easy road to walk down. Only we who walk it truly know. So my heart goes out to you all, sisters and brothers!
I do have a question, though. Has anyone has any success dating? Sometimes I don't know why I bother even thinking it could be a possibility. I like to joke that I couldn't get a man with a tazer and a net! LOL Seriously...should I just give up on the idea of eventually finding a life companion altogether and go out and get about 12 cats and get it over with, or is there hope? So much of my life is spent being Mom, I would like to be more in touch with ME! | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/1/2006 6:26:21 PM | My son is almost 15 and very independant, but it hasn't always been this easy.
He was born unable to lift his own arms and even suck a bottle. My daughter was 3 1/2 when he was born and just diagnosed with asthma. My son had doctors appointments every day and I was a single mom because my ex was abusive and I didn't stick around long enough to let him get worse. When my son was born I had to feed him and hour every other hour around the clock. I let my daughter "hold" him and help care for him. When he went in the hospital I spent the first night with him the second night at home with her and alternated so my daughter didn't feel neglected.
When my daughters asthma put her in the hospital I did the same with her, she decided he wasn't the lucky one being in the hospital all the time. I got my son to the level that he would blend in with the average child even though he had mild CP, wore hearing aids and had a speech impediment. But when he was 11 and my daughter was 15 my son had a stroke, it was harder on my daughter getting thru that year than anything she dealt with when she was younger. But once again my son can fit in. He is small for his age so being behind in school doesn't make him stand out. He needs extra help with reading, writing, and math, but his IQ is average.
My daughter started college after her Jr. year in HS, and my son has plans for college also. I was married 9 of the years I had children, but my son's stroke was right after the end of my marriage and I married when he was 3 years old and starting to "fit" in as they say.
Life can be hard enough as a single parent, throw in a special needs child and it's pretty near impossible. I have had men stop talking to me without finding out just what my son's special needs are.
This is for all you rocking parents out there:
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