| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:22:30 PM | | i need help. my daughter was violently shaken by her baby nurse and has severe brain damage as a result. i am lost and along and trying to survive without crying my life away. please contact me with any help you may have. i think talking to other parents who have children with disabilities might be helpful. thank you so much, Vanessa. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:25:18 PM | | i'm so sorry for all the stupid insensitive people who have reacted to your child. truly sorry. i actually have to turn my head down anytime is see a baby in a carriage with her mommy because it is so painful for me. my daughter was violently shaken by her baby nurse and as a result has severe brain damage. she is my only baby and my miracle and i am completely thoroughly devastated. life will never be the same again. please contact me. thank you. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:27:32 PM | | please contact me. my daughter has severe brain damage as a result of being violently shaken by her caretaker. she was only 5 days old. i am beyond devastated and trying to navigate my way out of this nightmare. but there is no way out. my daughter is permanently injured and my life is a flood of tears. anyone with anything kind to say or help, please respond. thanks. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:30:05 PM | | thank you for what you posted. for someone (me) who is going through a horrifying and unbelievably difficult time, i so appreciate your words. please contact me. Vanessa | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:32:45 PM | | i am sorry people are not more sensitive to you child's disability. my daughter has severe brain damage as a result of being violently shaken by her baby nurse when she was just 5 days old. i will never get over my guilt at having put her in the hands of this monster. every day is a struggle. EVERY DAY IS A STRUGGLE. contact me. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:35:02 PM | | sweet, just email me.. I like to listen. I personally havent had that kind of expierence, but I can always lend an ear if you need it. I hope all goes well with your baby from here on out. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:16:46 PM | hi i have a son who is 1 1/2 he was born 3 1/2 mths early spent 4 mthe in the icu has had many sugerys to close the pda valve and hes blind due to detached retnias  | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:02:39 AM | | Hi sorry I just joined and saw your message. I am to a single parent of a daughter who has Bi polar disorder and ocd. My son has adhd so I understand where your coming from. It is very difficult to have children like these and to have to explain all the time about their conditions. I have had people say they shouldn't be on meds, that its not helping. If they could see them without meds, they would have another outlook. My ex doesn't understand about the conditions. I have taking classes on the conditions, so I know what I am dealing with. He refuses he rather I deal with everything, he just agrees to everything the doctor says. He won't ask questions just goes along with everything. He is in their life but yet not really, know what I mean? I am upfront with anyone I meet about my kids, and they tell me they don't understand how I can work full time go to school, and take care of my kids with their conditions. I just tell them that their my kids, I have to be there for them. I have to do everything I can, to make sure they have a normal as possible life. Keep your chin up, its hard but I believe it will get better. | |
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numon
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Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 60 | |
| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:51:44 AM | | hey John. I have a son that turn 9 in July. when he was born he was not breathing.thank god for the Doctors and Nurses. He was rushed to Sick Kids where my wife spent most of the time in the hospital.then they said his heart is abnormal size and the valves are leaking. at the age 4 days old my son had his first opperation.later they said that my sons lounges were not fully grown. also that he must be care for.what i read up on that most children die by the time there three with this conditions. but he made it he has speach and learning delay. but besides that he like any kid today pain butt I'm glad and love. there still tough roads for the little guy but he past the hard part. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/10/2006 9:42:13 AM | | hi. i have a 4 year old who has suffered from partial complex seizures...nothing worked at first but topamax has kept him seizure free for a year. his head start teachers/counselor had suggested that he might suffer form asberger's. how old yas your child when you noticed symptoms and what did you notice? what type of epilepsy does your ten year old suffer from? I must admit that the Ketogenic diet appealed to me as an option if my son's meds hadn't started working. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/10/2006 12:55:17 PM | | I have a 2 year old who has disabilities and since we do not know yet what he has exactly I do not know what to expect with him except I do expect to have this amazing ,happy, wonderful, loving child ,that for some unknown reason I was blessed with. It definatly wasnt easy when I was pregnant to understand and be ok with the fact that my son was not going to be "normal" ,healthy and easy. but have found I am so grateful that he is mine. if you have a child with dissabilities and need another parent to talk to let me know it is a difficult but rewarding life and I would want noother child then mine . I do know it isnt comfortable for some parents but everyone handles life in a different way and with different thoughts and feelings, and we are all right in our own way regardless of how comfortable others are with it. You always need to do what is right for you and yours | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/12/2006 10:02:53 PM | Like the most of you wonderful people on here that have disabled children, my youngest son is not as bad. My son was born with sevier clubed feet. There are some people who know what this is and some that don't. My son's feet were totaly upside down when he was born, I was told by doctors that even with surgeries, there could be a possability that he 1. would never walk. 2. He would not walk untill he was much older. 3. Leave them the way that they are, 4. Do the best that we can. I had a hard decision to make. I let the Doctors do surgery on Him. He is now 5 years old and is a very bright and active child, also with ADHD. He started walking at the age of 3. He has gone threw 4 Surgeries on his feet and legs to strighten them as much as possable. This past May was the 4th surgery where they had to fuse bone to the outside of his foot. I was told also tho that this may not work and if it doesn't (having to wait a year to find out) then he will have to go threw surgery every 4 years untill he is 30 to put steel plates in his foot as it grows.
I know what it is like when other people on the street and in stores, look at you make sly, and stupid remarks like " I bet you she beats her child" But then you also have those people that have comapssion, and ask what happend, just to make sure that they do not get the wrong impression. I have been going threw this by myself since he was born, as well as my 7year old having learning disabilities, and being dislexsic.
I Will commend all you parents that, have children that are disabled and have been doing their best to keep up and keep your spirits high.. Right on all of you... | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/13/2006 10:27:07 PM | My son who was a twin born at 1lb 11oz. add in ADHD he went from a handful to a handful.
My daughter was born with a hole in her throat.
My older son has ADHD and Nerofibromatoeses.
Yet they are all normal kids to me.
I am the Auntie to Jason E. who was on Geraldo, he had Progeria and one who has William's syndrome.
I feel blessed to know such wonderful children. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/16/2006 9:45:32 AM | | I too, have a daughter with Down syndrome. Her father is non-existent in her life. She's going to be 11 years old in just a few weeks. But yes, I do find it hard to meet people that are willing to accept her for who she is. When I do meet someone, seems like we hit it off then poof... they play the avoidance game. I don't question it. I make two attempts to contact the person and if they don't communicate back with me, then I don't waste my time. | |
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sola06
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Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 66 | |
| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/17/2006 4:01:30 AM | Hi I have a 5 year old Autistic son and like someone said in a previous post, you do find out early who your friends are. Everyone has run for the hills on me because of my son but I don't care anymore. I love my son. It's nice to see a man taking care of a disabled child. And Believe me when I tell you that I know the challenges. Especially when they can't talk. My son didn't talk until he was almost 4 and for a long time all he did was scream and have temper tantrums because he didn't know how to communicate with us. Best of luck and if you ever want to talk just email me.
Rosie Angel's mom | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 9/22/2006 9:20:57 PM | | I am not a parent (although I would like to be) I have cerebral palsy, my advice is care for single parents of children with disabilities is to care for your children, encourage tem to be all they can be and treat them as you would any other child. I understand children may have special needs but you can still treat your child as you would any other child and still care for their special needs. I still carry emotional scares from childhood for things some adutls said to me growing up. My parents werere supportive of me but unfortunately some adults are closed minded and will not want to treat a child with special nees the same as any other child. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/3/2007 6:55:34 PM | Wow that is so funny that you post that....my cousin also has a little boy though with Angel Mans....it is so very rare!!!! I have a son that has special needs and it makes you think twice about getting back into the dating world!!! Some people are just not that accepting...if you would like to chat, feel free to drop me a line.
Good Luck with your daughter  ...i know it is a challenge, i live it as well.
Cheers Leanne | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 2/4/2007 3:10:53 AM | Hi
i have 3 sons aged 7,4 and 4. I have one son that is borderline gifted(he is 7) and I have two sons that have forms of Autism. My one son has PDD(pervasive development disorder) and my other son has Aspergers(highly functioning autism). My sons are the reason i get up in the morning and go to school(in my second yr of developmental service worker) and go to bed with a HUGE smile on my face. Sure it can be challenging at times but i cant imagine my life without my sons. Thanks for the thread and to all the parents my hats off to you!!!!!!
remember God only gives us what we can handle and what we cant only makes us stronger!!!! | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/27/2007 12:03:17 PM | | Hi im a single mum to a beautiful 3yr old. She had CP-spastic quadreplegia, global developmental delay, chronic lung disease, schleosis of spine epilepsy and psuedobulbar palsy......when born three months premature after a msimanaged labour, i was told she would basically be a vegetable.....well i would recommend to any person with a child with any disability to try a programme called BRAINWAVE..it started in the states (im from uk) well she can now mobilise around on the floor in her own way, shes just starting to hold a four point crawl position, understands simple commands/requests, (hates the word no!!) understands cause and effect toys, and emotinally is at her age developmentally. I cant believe how far she has come since we have be doing this programme (1yr). Its very simple each programme is individulised to the child and what you would like that child to achieve.......Literally miracles happen on this programme... they can help children with pretty much any disablity....and it doesnt cost too much in the grand scheme of things...so i would say check it out you never know ..... I have now decided my daughter is the female version of stephen hawkins!!!!! | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/27/2007 1:23:39 PM | I am also a single Mom with children with special needs. They are the boys that were born my grandsons but are now legally and lovingly my sons.
Both are age 6 right now with the elder of the 2 turning 7 next month. They younger one was born with problems due not only to a preemie birth but also due to a suicide attempt by my ex daughter in law at 26 wks gestation with alot of neuro meds. He has mild hydrocephalus but never needed shunts due to his right brain not developing properly. He has a problem with his lower backbone that may cause problems in the future but all is well there at this time. He was such a puzzle to all of his therapists that I finally took him to a Behavioral/Developmental Specialist for testing. He was dx'd with multi system developmental disorder, ADHD, high functioning autism. He also has the indicators for neurofibomatosis which the Drs and I watch closely. David is 6 going on 4 developmentally but extremely intelligent although he has speech delays. I have even found him writing music. Great for a kid that the Drs said would never walk or talk.
The older of the two...well she tried to drown him. Come to find out there is a long mental health history in her family. Daniel is also ADHD but has OCD and the psychologist has not determined yet if there are BiPolar tendencies...he sees some problems in the spectrum but not enough to dx him. He is my artistic one. In fact, last night he was offered a scholarship for classes in the local art league after they saw some of his drawings. They generally do not take children under 8 yrs old but said that Daniel's talent should be encouraged now.
My main problem has been with the schools. They are learning that I am a force to be dealt with. Both boys are repeating a year this fall which I am all for but Daniel would have been fine if the school had listened to his teacher and myself back in Nov about his needing help instead of waiting till May to listen David is super smart but developmentally not ready for 1st grade.
As for people staring at the boys when they are acting out and my boys staring at others with visual disabilities.....I use those times as learning times. I will ask if it is okay if the boys ask questions about what happened instead of shushing them. I also have business cards I have printed up myself to hand to rude people that state that my sons have disabilities if I do not flat out say something. Both my boys know that the reason that the reason I have them is because their tummy mom has a hurt hurt in her brain that makes her do things she is not supposed to. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:23:09 PM | I have two daughters, both grown now. The youngest has a variety of issues, the over-riding one being Asperger Syndrome. She also has an MAO deficiency, which severely restricts her diet, and Sensory Integration Disorder (subject to sensory overload at the drop of a hat), and CAPD ( Central Auditory Processing Disorder). Difficulty separating one sound/voice out from other background noises, and easily startled by any loud or sudden sounds, or high frequency sounds.
All in all, she was a real challenge to raise, and although I was involved in two different relationships throughout her growing years, both eventually ended because of the men's lack of ability to understand the way she needed to be parented, and what life is like 24/7 with a child on the Spectrum. They felt I was too easy on her, and yet they felt I was too protective/restrictive of her. So all in all I guess it all ended up in the middle and I must have been doing something RIGHT!
I have recently had a very meaningful compliment from her counsellor, as we were wrapping things up (Autism support in Canada ends at the 19th birthday - like it cures itself or something - go figure), and the counsellor told me that I was one of the most effective parents of kid on the Autism spectrum that she had ever met. Even more of a compliment to me, because my daughter was not diagnosed until the age of 14, and during the process of making that diagnosis, it was discovered that I too, have AS, SID, and CAPD. Boy does THAT answer a lot of questions for me.
But my advice, if you really want to consider it, is DON'T consider dating anyone until you have told them not only what your child's issues are, but also in detail how it affects your life, the child's life, your other children's lives, and whether or not it had anything to do with your previous relationship breakdown. Not in a "victim" way, but just so that you are giving a bluntly realistic picture of what they may be getting involved in.
IF they don't ask questions and want to know more, before jumping in, I would back right off. To me this would be a sign that they don't really "get it", and think you are exaggerating, or trying to make it sound worse than it really is. They don't have a clue!
If they take some time, think about things, come back with some questions, etc. and really seem like they are taking the issue seriously and genuinely want to become part of this with their eyes wide open, then grab them. They're a keeper!
Sorry to sound negative, but I really tried twice, and with very different men, and although things between the two of us in each case were fine, in the end it was the parenting and living with a child on the spectrum that did it in.
Go cautiously.....but do go. Those wonderful people are out there, I'm certain of it. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/27/2007 2:49:23 PM | Hello All
What a great thread :-) I have three children, all of whom are on the Autistic Spectrum (a variety of Aspergers, PDD, sensory problems, Dyspraxia...).
Despite some days being very hard work (both for them as well as me lol) I'm very proud of each accomplishment they make no matter how long it may take to make or how small it may seem to others. | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:13:44 PM | | i have a daughter that has down's syndrome plus she is chronically ill. i find it very hard to date and find someone that accepts her and i for who we are. its tuff being single and all i am looking for is someone to understand and be patient | |
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| Any single parents of disabled children??
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:49:21 PM | | hi everyone, just been reading all your stories,my son is 36 severly disabled, lovely with it. he still lives at home with me,but his dad died 3yrs ago and i have to have carers to help me now. hes adorable, so innocent, just like a baby, but im finding it very hard on my own. it gets very lonely, when hes gone to bed, and you have no one to talk to, so im glad i found you all. | |
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