| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 1:05:38 AM | [Either i'm too polite or you guys are too harsh lol
This all just looks wrong... WRONG! ]
lol..this has just become a pathetic attemt to judge other people...lol...it's too bad that i don't believe in judging someone...so i guess their feeble attempts just look WRONG....lol | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 4:15:42 AM |
i chose wrong people... haven't we all?? if we haven't...then why are the vast majority of us on here S...I...N...G...L...E..it has to be apparent that the ones we chose were not the ones for us
I'm single because I choose to be single. Sure the guys I may have dated obviously weren't the one. But they just weren't right for me, they didn't knock me up, take a vacation in prison and leave me to raise the kids. Big difference honey. | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 10:46:22 AM | hey chick...am i complaining about the fact that i have to raise these kids? i don't think so... so it was their choice to go to prison...not mine...why should i look like the bad person because of what they decided...i did all i could do to try to make them decent humans in society...but people will only listen so much...my efforts were just looked over...yeah it does not look all that well on me that i ended up with people with poor judgement...but i guess i'm too trusting of a person...i guess i gave too many chances...i guess i saw the good person lingering inside of them....so i have had some bad judgements with them...the funny thing is... is they were spanish men...lol...so i kinda tend to leave them alone for now...knowing what i know now... a lot of them have no respect for our laws...or for women...
but look i may have been irresponsible with the fact that i didn't protect myself from having children...but that's not the issue here...i'm not complaining...i'm not whining...i'm not saying a sob story because i'm a single mother...like i said...my kids were gifts...whether i wanted these gifts or not...that's beside the issue...and actually the ONLY way i know i won't get pregnant is if i never have sex...which i'm not too worried about that anytime soon...but yeah...my dad was a condom baby...so nothing is 100%...except abstinence...but yeah...birth control helps...that's why i'm going to seek the best kind out there as soon as my son is born...not just for the fact that i really wouldn't want anymore...but also i want my kids to have a lot of love in their life coming from me...you add too many kids...there will be things that will lack... | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 2:52:18 PM | XX, I don't know why people are giving you such a hard time about being on this site, trying to find someone. Having kids does not end your life. You are not sentenced to be alone forever because you have kids. I have read numerous times and heard statistics about how much happier and well adjusted children are when they have two parents that love each other. It shows the children how to accept and give love to others. I would much rather have a Mom and Dad who loved me, even if one of them wasn't biologically linked to me, than two parents who produced me that fought all day and hated each other. And please people don't write back asking me to prove this and that and show some sites where I read that, this is knowledge that I have obtained from reading outside of the computer that I do not have copies of to prove. But I think with a little common sense, it makes sense to show your children love and how to love, even if it's not just with their Mom or Dad.
I do admit that I got a little laugh about the whole somebody to take care of me and my children financially part. Even though, I think you said what some women are thinking. There are lots of women who would want to stay at home and take care of the kids while their man went to work. It's not for me, not for everybody, but to each his own. You don't make single parents look bad by being here. That is so lame. Mom's allowed to be happy too. Everybody remember the old saying:
"If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" | |
|
| |
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:05:15 PM | GYPSY: So when is the time limit when so called "actions" that God says are ok to judge (which I can't even believe this was said, oh wait, nevermind, you do claim to be a Christian) get to be wiped clean and you are no longer judged? 10 years, 20, 30, never?? Or something bad I did in my 20's still show's my character in my 50's? Once again, this is an example of people taking the Bible and twisting into what they want to hear to justify why they are just plain a$%holes. That's what it boils down too. I doubt God was saying, here take over my job, judge everyone whose character you don't agree with. More likely the case he was saying, hmmmm, if you sit back and watch what this person is doing and it is questionable, then don't interact with them. Don't fraternize with them and open yourself to more sin. But it's probably a lot more fun for you to judge others, huh?
"That's be cause you use it to try and rationalize your own bad behavior but it doesn't pass the smell test."
-Gee that should sound like the script of your life.
"Nope, as you noted it isn't my place to judge THAT aspect of your life, unless you start tossing out BS in His name in which case I would correct the erroneous information."
-You were judging her way before that, but when she caught you on something, suddenly you say, "Oh no, I'm judging you because you're talking about MY God"
"I have a skeleton-free zone in my closet. Life is easier that way."
NowTHIS is something that doesn't deserve a comment....LOL | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:17:33 PM | | lol...gypsy..i was wondering when i'd be able to read some more "smart" comments from you...ok...let's see here...let's see what i can come up with...b/c i know everything and all...well one...i'm not "non-religious"...in my profile it says i'm a christian...so yeah...anyways...as i wrote JUST before you commented...which again...you need to learn to comprehend words...but yeah...i had said that i made every effort i could to be with the fathers...but my efforts were looked past....i'm not saying i was an angel...but after my daughter was born...i decided to take a much different path that didn't include drugs or alcohol...or living a "care-free" life...i ended up getting my GED...which was not a good as a diploma...but it was one thing i knew i had to do in order to further my education...but anyways...back to the fathers...i trusted them a little too much to make good decisions i guess...i pretty much expected that when my daughter's father saw her come into this world it would be a wake up call..well it wasn't...and not long after...i left him...despite all i tried to do...i figured it would have been best for my daughter and i to be out of that situation...than to see him drink himself away...day by day...and as for my son's father...he was a really decent guy...he really was...and he honestly never got into any trouble beforehand...why he chose to do something like this? i have yet to figure that out...it came to a shock to me when i was reading what he did in the newspaper...and boy oh boy....i'm glad i wasn't 17 when i had my daughter...i was 20...but someone i guess who could do math probably already knew that didn't you...and as for my daughter's happiness...well all i can say for that is...she's a very intelligent girl...already starting to speak a second language...and she prefers to stay with me all the time than to go anywhere else...no matter whose house it is... so i guess i must be doing something right in that area....and i'm not looking for someone to support my kids...like i said...when i put that in my profile..i honestly didn't think it was going to look that way...and that is why it no longer says that...b/c i can support myself and my two kids just fine...and yes statistics do say that kids who grow up in certain types of homes tend to go a little off the deep end....more so than others...but like i said...i haven't made very good choices...i admit that...but i CHOOSE not to do that anymore...i've learned from my mistakes...as i have said many of times...and i believe i would be a pretty stupid human if i didn't...and i said that my sister learned that from a book b/c that's what she tells us...she even tells us what books she learned it out of...so hmmm...i wonder....and i don't care if someone went to school all of their life studying about psycology...that's why counselors and most of the people i've ever talked to never got along...people are more apt to listening to someone who has been there...done it...and moved on from it being better people...rather than someone who just read it in a book and generalizes them b/c some book told them to do so...it's more of a personal thing when experience is calculated in there...it's kinda funny too how i'm actually going into college to counsel troubled adolescence...or am i a bad person because i know the mistakes i made...and i know how preventable they could be...and i figure i just might be able to help some kids out there who are going on the same route as i did...? i wonder....but i'm not going to mention much about the bible...it's just one thing i know you really need to read up on...especially the whole judgemental part...possibly talk to a pastor or something even...i dunno...that's just something you need to work out on your own i guess...ohhh just ONE MORE THING....it's nice to hear that someone as perfect as you live around here...that i'm actually talking to someone who has never made bad decisions or has done nothing wrong in their life...it's nice to meet you jesus... | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 3:42:34 PM | | I have kids but I never mention them in my profile. Of course mine are all grown now youngest turning 18. I don't like seeing kids mentioned in profiles, this is for dating and adults, you can talk about kids in a private email or chat, phone convo whatever. When my kids were younger I never mentioned them either. Just not my preference. I never said I didn't have them and if someone is interested then sure I'll give them the info. It's just a person's preference whether they talk about them in their profile or not. | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 4:03:50 PM | | You know the difference is you obviously didn't LEARN from your past behavior. If you had, you would NOT have an ANOTHER child out of wedlock. FYI I'm a single mom of ONE, work full time, go to school full time. Why? Because I understand to provide a better life for my daughter I need a degree which will lead me to another job. I also understand that it is foolish to expect, hope, wait for a man or anyone else to support you, with or without children. By the way, it makes me sad what a horrible example you are setting for both your children. Quit being a victim and own up to your actions and mistakes. | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/30/2005 8:33:29 PM | | well it is quite obvious difficulttone...that you can't read either...d*mn...i never specified when i learned from my mistakes...lol...so how can you say that i didn't...and let's see here... i dont' expect anyone to take care of my children except for me...another thing i also discussed several times in my forum...you people need to read EVERYTHING if you are going to make horrible, stupid, naive comments like this...and i am wondering what bad examples i'm setting for my kids...is it that i'm showing them to never give up no matter what life deals you...to keep going with your head held up high...to appreciate every moment you have.... to better yourself by pursuing your dreams....c'mon...i'm quite interested in knowing how i'm setting bad examples...and i have never acted as a victim...again...another thing i have discussed SEVERAL times in my forum...i have owned up to everything i've done...i will admit all my faults...i know the choices i have made...and i don't see how anyone can see a victim coming from this person...soo...please...do elaborate... | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/31/2005 8:22:48 AM | I guess you can't read either. I never said you "stated" you didn't learn from your mistakes. I inferred that from the fact that you have two children by different fathers, both of whom you were never married to. Second I feel like you haven't learned from your mistakes due to your original profile stating "...I would like to find someone who would be willing to take care of me and my children financially".
The whole victim comment is in reference to your "reasoning" when defending your original profile. For example your sob story about one of your ex's being abusive, the other being a liar (a lot of men are!), you tell your back story to support your decisions. I can guarantee every woman on here has been involved with some scum bag. You have to get to the point in your life where you STOP blaming the man for everything and own up to your decision to be with him. THAT is why I said stop being a victim.
From one woman to another, the best advice I can give you is 1. to start realizing that you played a role in all the bad things that have happened to you and 2. understand that you are all your kids have to depend on and the worst thing you can do continue a search for the man you can depend on.
I realize I'm wasting my energy typing this to you, but I'm glad you at least had the common sense to change your profile. Now maybe you'll get some responses. Good luck! | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:00:30 AM | | I don't know how many of you are living in glass houses but there was clearly no hesitation in throwing stones. xxadventuraxx, I apreciate your candor and honesty. These are traits that I wish were more common here. Reading your profile and these comments, I try to empathize with you. I certianly believe ib personal responsibility but everyone make difficult choices and it is far to easy to blame the victim than try to understand.I am old enough to be your father, but it may be that you need to talk to others that have been around the block a few tims and can share their experience with you. I wish you all the best. Your son's impending birth will bring a mixture of emotions, I am sure. You are still young enough to plot any direction in life you choose. Seek advice from those that can help. Good luck. I will be thinking kind thoughts for you. | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:28:32 AM | | well thank you psychman...i tend to be happy filling my life with my family members... they support me...give me good advice...i've learned a lot from them b/c they have been through tough times...the times when i do try to feel sorry for myself...my family won't let me...they make me take a reality check and realize what's going on...and so instead of feeling sorry for what happened...i figure out how to get passed it as a better person...they have helped me sooo much....and it also helped me become a better person having them around, not shuting me out of their lives because i decided to make a few bad decisions...they were there when i was a drug addict...they were there when i was homeless numerous times...but they weren't there to feel sorry for me...they were there to slap me in the face and say WAKE UP!!!...i've learned not to feel as a victim...in any circumstances...now...i just couldn't let myself feel as if i am a victim...it never really crosses my mind anymore...i just automatically think...ok...this is gone wrong...well why? ok...once i figure that out....then i'm like....ok...what do i need to do to better the situation...and how will i learn from this...what will i take out of this that i can use in life...and honestly...i love living life that way much better than being a victim... i feel proud of myself when i accomplish things on my own...when i figure it out on my own... and when i learn and become a wiser, more understanding person because of it... | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 8/31/2005 1:11:17 PM | I'm assuming that you've modified your profile since posting this thread. Assuming ya wrote it from the heart, and meant everything in it, let me say this... Honesty is refreshing! More people should try it. Nothing worse that getting into a realtionship only to find serious baggage around every corner.
The man you want and need will accept you the way you are, and understand that mistakes, and bad judgment happen and are unavoidable. Perhaps a little reassurance that you've learned a lesson or two might make him think you're worth a try. | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 9/4/2005 8:20:25 PM | | well just to let everyone knows that cares to hear...i had my son friday sept. 2nd... and he's the most gorgeous thing i have ever seen in my life...having him reassures me what my duties in life are...and they are my kids...yes i am still interested in meeting that special someone... but my kids are number one...always have been...always will be...even when they are grown and out of the house.... | |
|
| Quite interested...hehe
Posted: 9/5/2005 10:37:22 AM | | xxaventuraxx Well, congrats on a safe birth and a healthy son. Truly a blessing and a miracle!! I wish the best for the both of you. | |
|
Home
login 