| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 12:43:20 PM | | Ahhh, but in normal relationships, it seems to me that so many things are assumed or taken for granted. In D/s, that isn't usually the case. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 1:19:48 PM | @fishbill
Last post was intended to throw a little more light on the subject in hand, here.
By all means criticize if there is something out of line or misleading.
What lifestyle are you?
*grins* A healthy one, with a good income by the looks of your profile, although I might suggest another pic without the beer poster on the wall behind you..might discourage some ladies from answering (unless you want to project the image of a party animal, and that's what you are seeking)
As for not knowing you needed one...? heck..you have to have something to offer a lady, that she might want to grow accustomed to! | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 1:37:23 PM | a ex girlfriend of mine was at about 144kidnapped raped beaten and left for dead by leather masked police or military types as she described them , now she is a colared slave to some wealthy married guy , she craves being tied up and beaten has very strong anxiety attacks that leave her curled up in a corner when shes alone , she explained to me that she is trying to prove something to herself letting someone paddle her ass to a briused mass not saying stop and the guy doing won't stop untill she says to its bizarre and dangerous behaviour stemming from deep emotional and physical torture , don't kid yourselves into thinking this is anything but exploitation of someone reaching out for any thing that will make the pain inside less by overwealming it with physical pain and humiliation. people using each other for motives that have nothing to do with love
get help don't emerse yourselves into BDSM or anything else to excape your pain | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 1:59:23 PM | | nembatha, what you have described is not the norm for D/s relationships. Safe, sane and consentual are the cornerstones of the more "educated" D/s community. You can't overgeneralize based on one person's experience. That goes for anything in life, not just alternative "lifestyles". | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 3:34:04 PM | @nembatha
I agree..what you describe, in the way you describe is abuse
However, if she is a consenting adult, willing to undergo this, for some reasons of her own, that you don't understand, please do not use it as a reason to condemn BDSM, or set it as an example of how everyone in it behaves.
I do have some questions here...IF she is an ex-girl-friend, who " craves" this sort of treatment, did she not bring it up during your time together?
If so, what did you do about it at the time?
I would find it surprising if she didn't open up to you at some point.
You also indicate she still talks to you about this. Do you try to listen with an open mind to see if there is an underlying plea for help, as she may have got into something too deep to get out of on her own? It does happen.
Or is there something more to this story? Most subs I know wouldn't submit to a collar with a married man unless his wife is involved, even if he was wealthy. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 3:49:05 PM | | I will be the first to say some things I do sexually are wierd and unhealthy. That is what I call open communication. I wont try to make up some BS about how healthy I am. IF you are weird, just admit it! | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/12/2005 4:57:01 PM | @fishbill
You asked 'what lifestyle YOU were'' in a previous post...I guess I should have put it in quote form, as it seems to have caused a little confusion, for which I apologise.
My comment was about YOUR lifestyle, which from your pic and profile, is obviously a healthy one
As for openingly admiting my 'differences' I am the first to do so. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/13/2005 10:42:57 AM |
As for openingly admiting my 'differences' I am the first to do so.
Hear hear! I'll second that but I'd not say I'm weird as some suggested. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/16/2005 9:31:29 PM | | I have to say it,,, this place gets stranger and stranger! here i am , visiting a BDSM site out of interest and not one of you has posted anything to do with it! ..... too funny, I think i am going to stick to the definately previously defined, woman/man relationship............ gee I wonder, back in leave it to Beaver days,,,,,,,,,,, would June be called submissive? ,,, something to ponder on a dull evening! Happy Ties to YOU! | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 8/17/2005 1:33:07 PM |
visiting a BDSM site out of interest and not one of you has posted anything to do with it! ..... too funny,
? Strange remark to make....some of the posters took me to task over offering my conceptions and overall views on the subject.
If you are really interested BDSM, there are many sites offering information on the web, you just have to sift through several to gain a complete picture...one other than the concepts offered by the various media that is.
Have a nice flay! | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/18/2005 10:50:26 PM | Very interesting comments. Some of the posters appear to have a grip on what BDsM is all about, and some really confused. Twas good reading your comments and responses, poshrat, and for those who would like to enlighten themselves a bit more, CastleRealm may be one place to start. There is info on all aspects of BDsM, rolls being played, rituals, and definitions for you, all in easy-to-read format. Take advantage of the site and then begin the journey of living life on the fringes of humanity. Good times all round.
Oh, and Dom/sub relationships are found in all relationships. Only difference is, they are without clear definition in the relationship, usually due to lack of communication on the onset of the relationship. The aforementioned statements were my opinions only and in no way reflect the opinions of the website or the BDsM community as a whole.
Ocean. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 4:21:20 AM | First to the guy who says he pays for everything so he gets to make the rules.... how many bandaids do you go thru in a week for your knuckles?
Poshrat... i agree with most of what you said. D/s isn't always S&M. Well said. I consider myself somewhat submissive in the bedroom but that would be the only place. It's not a choice for me, it is what feels natural. God help any man who intentionally inflicts any pain on me. I consider myself to be very normal.
I also would like to make the point that a submissive is not a doormat. She/he has feelings thoughts, ideas, suggestions and is allowed to express them freely to her/his partner.
Things are different in a Master/slave relationship, but i don't understand that train of thought so i'll refrain from making further comment.
Anyway, ty Poshrat for representing the lifestyle so well | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 4:42:27 AM | posh and sorka...
Thank you for your posts. It's nice to read the words of those that are enlightened and truly understand the Dom/sub relationship. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:41:26 AM | | Nice mix on the thread. Some speak from knowledge and others from their ***hole. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:46:19 AM | "gee I wonder, back in leave it to Beaver days,,,,,,,,,,, would June be called submissive? ,,, "
YES | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 68 | |
| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 6:47:05 AM | This post came back to spank me on the ass while I'm hungover and burping up something nasty I ate that I don't know what it is? I hate u all. 
I elbowed a booby last night. It felt good. It was an accident though. I need to make more of them. That count as s/m? Nm. | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 70 | |
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Tinkle
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Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 71 | |
| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 7:21:25 AM | Beaver Cleaver sounds naughty. June Cleaver is kinky I hear. Have to be to name her son after a whoopee hole. Ward!
I figured out what I'm burping up. Salamee. I don't know how to spell it though. Don't eat any if it's old. It tastes worse than other old food. Tip from uncle Tinker. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 8:15:05 AM | | @Ocean - I am very familiar with CastleRealm, they have some fantastic information there and the suggestions for further reading are right on target without all the silly trappings so many see as being the be all to end all of BDSM. Another good source for just about anything sexual/sensual is sexuality.org. They cover a wide variety of subjects and the majority of their articles are well informed. As with anything on the 'Net, take it with a grain of salt. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 8:30:07 AM | mindsky? Take a tip from the funny girl and just don't eat salami, K? That's bad, bad stuff.
Hope you're not sick, lol. | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 10:31:16 AM | ....and if anyone is seriously looking for a BDSM-flavoured relationship, I recommend Bondage.com
It's a good place, eh Nashvilledom?  | |
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| BDSM: Dom/Sub Relationship
Posted: 11/19/2005 9:32:47 PM | Did you find this place from there too?
The foreums have been boring there lately since they started the private groups. | |
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