| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 4:40:04 PM | It sounds like you don't have much self-confidence at all.
The more confidence you have in yourself, the more likely you are to attract others.
Take care of yourself. This means physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Taking care of yourself helps to increase your confidence.
Some ways to take care of yourself:
-Exercise
-Eat healthy
-Refuse to keep negative people in your life
-Think positive thoughts/rework the negative thoughts into better ones
-Speak up for yourself
-Explore your beliefs/boundaries and stand up for them
-Find a hobby/interest you enjoy
And above all, STOP relying on others for your self-esteem and self-worth. You don't outwardly say it but I can tell that you rely on men for a sense of self-worth. You have to find this in yourself before someone else can truly respect you and love you for who you are.
Also, a good statement I heard one time was is that you should look at the people you have in your life. This will tell you a lot about how you truly feel about yourself. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:38:06 PM | Of course they can.....duh. I used to think plains janes and hotties were always holding out for the Brad Pitts or whoever the uber hottie guys are at the time. It is all about how you carry yourself and what you think of yourself. Makes a big difference. I have seen ugly guys score smokin hot women. Looks isnt everything. Even hot looking guys have to eventually speak..... Sometimes that's the deal breaker right there. To be fair, people shouldn't really be judged from their looks. It is so unfair to think the "beautiful people" are all stuck up, snobby and unintelligent. Just as it is unfair to think ugly people are boring, no lives, no friends and not popular. You would be surprised how often this is reversed. Yes....I have seen"ugly" women get stud muffins. I tend to smile and laugh when I see it happening. Why not? It's all good. | |
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FunFab
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 281 | |
| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:48:41 PM | | The question should really be...Do plain janes want the stud muffins? I find that really good looking guys are usually (not always) snobs and arrogant...and that is a huge turn off...A stud muffin in my eyes is the guy who treats me well,makes me laugh and is selfless...even if he's not the hottest,he ends up being so in my eyes | |
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Xena_
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Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 282 | |
| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:55:09 PM | This bugs the heck out of me...
Ugly to me denotes something negative in personality, not in looks. What I may deem physically unattractive in one person, someone else may deem smokin' hot in that same person.
To label someone as physically 'ugly' is self descripting.
Phew, finally got that out... | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 7:20:19 PM | | wooo... hold on here.... Ugly and plain women ALWAYS get the studmuffins!! I see it everyday. Its the ugly women who get the gorgeous men. Most guys want a plain no glamour kinda girl to settle down with. a lot of men are insecure, so they choose a woman who will never stray, or spend too much money at the mall. I think there is beauty in all women, but I am sick of going out with my stunning best friend and watch her lose out on meeting a man because he is intimidated by her. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:33:28 PM | Some of the most cosmetically beautiful people I know personally are also some of the ugliest people I know. I have an ex who is stunning, absolute physical perfection ~ emotionally bankrupt. He is wonderful to sit and stare at, try dealing with him on a day to day basis and he is simply void of beauty. Because our relationship was long distance and every meeting was a honeymoon stage, it worked for a while ~ it wasn't until we discussed marriage that I realized he was simply empty inside. He was great eye-candy, other than that, he was vacant.  | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/20/2006 3:01:36 AM | | see thats what ticks us mediocre looking people off...I mean sure we arent fun to look at...but i guarantee you no one who actualyl knows me..has a bad thing to say baout me..well except my ex maybe LOl...anyway as far as love and emotional closeness go...those things have NOTHING to do with looks | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/20/2006 8:43:05 AM | as a plain jane myself i say yes...you can get a guy...if you are smart, intresting, funny, and willing to put yourself out there. Keep in mind ALOT of guys will want the total package...so if your not willing to change your look then maybe lower your standard....its a double standard to expect men to not be superficial when you are being superficial.
^^as far a what this guy said...first of all you make my blood boil...not in a good way. I think its unfair to say that because someone is genetically unlucky they should only go for other unattractive people. Yes a girl should be aware of what she looks like...work with her attibutes BUT there it only so much you can do. As a black person you should know that alot of the women are going to be judged unattractive by american standards. Alot of little minority girls grow up in north america feeling like they were ugly...shame on you for not recognizing that and instead having so little character you take the easy way out and latching onto the superficial world. Nor so many generations ago your relatives married a good woman...not just the prettiest woman.
Its not only minority women that feel that anymore. Most women are made to feel less than pretty enough in media and our culture.
**steps off her soap box | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:23:26 AM | Is that not the basis of men who are ugly but have money?
Ladies is areosmith a cute guy?, How about bill gates, or rosie ordonald? eeeee
I think the power of what attracts one person to another is beyond rational explanations.
So i would have to say YES.!! | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/20/2006 12:00:33 PM | Yes Just like ugly guys get beautiful women...It happens i have seen it and i am one of them ugly guys who get beautiful women | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/20/2006 12:34:24 PM | I'd rather she got Blueberry muffins, If they were for me! And some butter mmmm.
They're gonna be hot! Right?? And have lots of berries?
Nothing is worse than a two berry muffin!! Well.......Maybe week old Chinese! | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:12:10 AM | | Looks are THAT important to them? Hell, kick them to the curb! We all come into this world naked, bald and screaming...most of us go out the same way...do you want your man to ditch you because you gain 3 pounds??? oh, please! The true "stud-muffin" is a stud only in the eyes of the person who takes the time to get inside his head and understand him. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:04:05 AM | If this "plain jane" wants, not any man, but a "studmuffin", doesn't it mean that SHE is the one who thinks looks is that important?
She is complaining because others don't lower their expectations, while herself keeps her own expectations high.
Yes, kick her to the curb. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:27:50 AM | Tigger...honey, i didnt actually expect you to respond to my "rant". (Nicely done...you respnded without saying anything at all  ) The original question had nothing to do with less than attractive people EXPECTING to get hotties....maybe that's your expectations?? Why do you expect to be able to get hotties?? I read your profile and it seems that's more your expectations...since you cant really speak for others, right? I dont actually care to know anyone who EXPECTS to get one kind of person based solely on something as ridiculous as looks. As far as my ethnic soap box...I do apologize...I hadnt bothered to look at your profile before posting it. Now I have read it and realise you wouldnt get it. To address your insinuations I am taking anything you said personally...or that its things i dont want to hear...I'm taking that as a smoke screen to avoid discussing any valid points raised. I never approach a thread as a personal issue or attack. As far as i am concerned this thread doesnt apply to me at all. Now it seems certain people on here have assumed, wrongly, that they are one of the studmuffins and should be able to discuss this from thier little bit of experience. Too me that just shows thier immaturity on issues...not surprising they have a poor take on the world...when they clearly dont even see themselves as they are~Lori | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:33:33 AM | What an interesting thread.
I suppose this is ever on the mind of people who post on dating sites. Women assume that all men are jerks because those who are seem to shout the loudest about these things. I read sll of the replies to the original post and was most impressed with yours. No one mentioned inner beauty, you came the closest. Self esteem is very important, to both men and woman. The magic that allows two people to connect is only in part physical attraction, the other part is something that alludes people. It is why we all want to discuss it so much. I am far from ugly, but the qualities I possess that are not related to my looks are far more important to me. my looks do not go to work for me or care for my child or do my dishes and laundry, they do not give me compassion or make me more honest. They do not make a good friend, or lover or daughter. They just dress up an already beautiful person. This is a tough one, because online dating is very much like virtual window shopping. You do not buy a car just by looking at how pretty it is. You are also concerned with how it handles and you may even look under the hood. (did I really compare dating to car shopping?) By its very nature it is a shallow endevour. But it does not have to be. It can be a way to get to know someone from the inside out. I know men are visual creatures. Women are as well. But we look deeper. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:34:29 AM | | I am not really fond of the word "ugly". It is not appealing to me. I have not met an ugly person. People are people, and chemistry is what drives attraction. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 10:41:47 AM | Very well said, Sweet and Lovely.
And I would say that you compared online dating to car shopping. It is very much like marketing--we all post our "product specification sheets" and hope to get hits. Some use form letters to pitch to the masses.
Honestly, I'm struggling with this process because I really don't know how effective it is in the long run--and I'm definitely not looking for a "studmuffin"--just one man of good character, who is attractive on the inside and pleasing enough on the outside.
It's tough to find him.
NOTE: Funny enough, I know of two guys (both unavailable) who I would classify as "studmuffins" in the looks department. The most interesting thing about these guys--is that they have no clue how attractive they are! And it doesn't matter--because they both have wonderful personalities. Although they are unavailable, they give me some hope. | |
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| Can ugly women get studmuffins/??
Posted: 10/22/2006 1:35:20 PM | Ignore the comments of Tigerwoods and Simbadsailor!
Wow, I thought I never would say this. I'm trying my hardest to be nice... really hard...but these guys make me sick!
I'm sure these are the type of guys that go out and look for the hottest chicks around and then will find out in 20-30+ years when their wife isn't the hottest chick on the block, with wrinkles, fat, etc but their wife is devoid of a good personality, only then will they realize looks aren't everything.
As for being afraid of the truth, I think they are afraid to realize their posts show them for the guys they really are... and I won't say those words here. | |
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