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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/9/2006 7:14:45 AM | | Charms83..been there done that twice now..and my friends have had the same thing happen to them...the guy gets hooked and can't seem to leave the singles site..one guy I was dating said he was "just looking"...at what?..while I am online with him he was scanning other women online? or IM chatting with other women while he was chatting with me?....not acceptable behavior..this needs to be brought up in the very beginning of the meeting..to get an understand..for BOTH parties..usually its the woman that wants this "ceremony" to delete ..much like the burning of the little black book ceremony...committing to each other..it's like he had a second book secretly stashed ..sneeking..acting like he is committed but really not..he gets caught..that relationship is all over and then he does it again....and again..and again....they need to start a thread I AM A DOG AND I KNOW IT..HOW DO I STOP.????? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/9/2006 9:35:28 AM | Dear Keepingstep,
The key to any relationship is communication , you need to be honest with this man tell him you saw where he is still going to the dating site, is he still looking? If he says "oh no I was just surfing and checking things out". Tell him YOU took your self off the site, as a courtesy to your mutual realtionship.If he wants to continue to have a future with you then he should take his self "out of Play" also.If he does not agree, then you know hes not as much into you two as a couple as you thought.Move on that means he is a player , and hes still looking, If your not enough of a woman for him, who in the hell needs him?
You then move on and meet a man who puts you and your realtionship first.then you have winner! He might surprise you and delete his proifile if so ,Wonderful and the best to you both,
With Regards
Swampprincess  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/14/2006 1:43:47 PM | I think that these sites can be like window shopping. Some people keep looking for the better deal. I chose to feel bad for them as they are probably letting the ones worth keeping go. If someone keeps coming back online then how can you feel secure with them. Not a healthy place to start. I agree with tbearlover.....be upfront and ask directly where he stands with you. At least the guessing will be over and you can make a good decision as to what you yourself will do. Remember, the only person you can control is yourself so this guy may not change his ways for you but at least you have choices based on fact not assumptions. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 2:12:32 AM | | It only means they still shop around and keep their options open. So it's not fair for the other person. I totally agrees with what Funnyface4u said, if a person keeps coming back to a dating website while he is in a relationship, how could you feel secure? How do you trust him? Although you can confront him, but what stupid guy will tell you the truth that he is shopping around? Of course he will deny.... It's hard to know what's the fact, and what is the assumption. But you can always make your own decision, whether you want to stand for urself or tolerate. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 3:31:30 AM | In my thinking: If I am positive about a relationship, then the computer sites are a done deal and if she can't be off the sites too..............then she is a done deal as well. I wouldn't put up with stuff like: I just have so many friends on those sites that I have to keep talking to etc etc. If they are that good of friends then let them call you on the phone. HEr site and my site would come down or I would walk (well, actually, I would run away from a bytch like that).
If some of you think something like: I have to have my friends to talk to in the forums (I say BS, but...............)The best thing to do then if you and she decide to keep your sites is do something really daring.................get a girlfriend to talk to him like she is wanting to hook up and see how he responds to it. If he is ready and willing to meet her, then there ya goooooooooooooooooooooo, he is a player.
Tracy | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:16:25 AM | If they are still on the website...they are still looking and not being honest with you. Period. Finite. Done Deal.
Is is simply a line of BS to say I still visit my friends because honestly if anyone has become friends from the website personal email addresses have already been exchanged so it is not necessary to visit at the website.
Move on little doggies...this drive is so OVER! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:41:37 AM | | According to what you said in your question, To just stop talking, (communicating), is a sign and form of abuse. Is this who you are? Now the question is why did you pick a guy who is also porbably an abuser? Now, do you want this guy in your life? He has already proven that he is not to be trusted. Is this personality type attractive to you? When You can answer these questions for yourself, you will know the answer. Now another question , are you a JC-(jerk chaser)? Jerks are by nature abusers. Abusers are attractive to abusers. Abuse is always a two -way street. Physical, mental, emotional, and sexual are still abuse and detremental to a person and their self esteen. What do you want for yourself? What will you put up with? What will you accept? How high do you hold your self up to your model of selfrespect? The best of luck to you..I wish you well! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:52:58 AM | He can do as he wishes, I do not seek to exert control over him. He's a mature intelligent man I trust him to make good decisions
Keyword: CONTROL
I'm the kind of man that thinks if you're secure about your partner, why worry about it. And this is important, the "policeman/woman" syndrome. Its very uncomfortable to feel paranoid. If you're out there checking your partner's every move, then you have no trust. If you're truly in love with someone, he/she will have your attention at all times, you will not look to the sides. Have you felt that??
our profiles are blantantly CLEAR that we're hooked up
Read the damn profiles!!!
POF has a difference compared to other dating sites: It has the forums. Being on this site doesn't mean you're "keeping your options open". In my case, I'm here for them, its amazing what you can learn and also contribute.
Speaking of learning and stuff, what's OP?? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:11:21 AM |
If you're truly in love with someone, he/she will have your attention at all times, you will not look to the sides.
Yeah, you might give him all the attention, and won't keep looking, but the person you are with are not fullly devoted to you? Why would you put up with it if you can find somebody else who can give you all his heart?
And i don't think it's about security any more. Yeah, you give him all the trust, but the thing is he abuses your trust, so do you still want to give him the trust and let him abuse it more? | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:15:53 AM |
if anyone has become friends from the website personal email addresses have already been exchanged so it is not necessary to visit at the website
It depends on how u look at it. Yeah, he can get off the website, but he may have already exchanged numbers with 5 or maybe 10 other girls that he considered as options, and talk to them on the phone. Yeah, you could call them "friends" cuz he talks to them on the phone and stuff, but only he knows who they really are. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 1:42:54 PM |
Create a fake account (with an attractive picture of someone else, could be from your friend or MySpace or whatever), message him and see what he says. You'll have your answer right there.
This test totally works, but it hurts the relationship because once you decided to conduct this test, you already have doubts with your relationship. If you really trust him, you should not even have a single thought about doing this test. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/15/2006 10:30:58 PM | I can appreciate that one could find the forums to be somewhat addictive, however I'd personally rather be spending time with that person as opposed to being on the computer and I would gladly definitely be poofing any accounts.
What I would find strange tho, is someone who supposedly had been dating someone for a year, yet they had barechested shots of themselves for that time period. Factor in that they'd eventually email you a true, more recent pic of themselves (from "hot" to "not" lol) during a flurry of "flirtatious" emails complete with all kinds of  <<-- those guys..
I pity the GF in that "relationship"..if there really is one. *snicker* | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/16/2006 6:07:45 AM | Personally I fail to see how it would be anyones business.
I myself am in a relationship and yet don't mind chatting with folks, as well as posting in the forums.
Anyone can take on a "holier than thou" air about themselves and be judge, jury and executioner.
As a matter of fact it's quite easy to point the finger at others.
The only thing is, inadvertantly it makes you look like a fool.
Especially if you're dead wrong!
Cheers!
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:11:46 AM | | Well because you arent serious and commited then I wouldnt do a thing about it. I wouldnt be hurt but then im not a jealous and possesive type of girl when dating someone. Now if my fiance were on here doing something like that id have major concerns. Hes intersted in you right? Or do you doubt that? If you doubt that then id reassess the realationship all together. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:59:31 AM | This has happened to me as well. In a conversation one night and talking about site dating and things along that nature I happened to say that my profile was deleted and asked if he still had his going. He said “ummm, no, I don’t know, I’m not to sure”. I asked “you don’t know if your account is still out there”? He said “He hasn’t been out there since we met”. I got that funny feeling inside (the woman’s instinct thing). So I did a quick search and when I first noticed that it said he was active on the site I thought it could have been an error with the site and didn't give it another thought, until he was active again for a few more days. Then I confronted him about it and after a few stutters and such he was able to say something about him not using the site since we were together and why would he need to, that it must of been one of his 'married friends, or his friends that are in relationships' that were using his account. When I asked how they all knew his password, he said "my password isn't hard to figure out". I didn't just fall off a turnip truck so I ended that relationship quite quickly. And he was claiming I was “the one”… Some peoples children. LOL !!!!
Just for the record, I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have an active profile when you are in a relationship, you should just be honest about it if that’s the case. I realize that some use this site just for the forums and things along that nature. It wasn’t this site by the way. This one rocks !!!!! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/16/2006 5:33:04 PM | If they don't take their profile off, put yours back on and tell them to take a hike. They always seem to be looking for something better to come along, even if they already have the best. It's hard to believe guys too that say they have taken their profile off, they've probably just changed their name so you won't catch them. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/21/2006 5:39:03 AM | SwampPrincess,
I am constantly amazed that this thread is still going. I guess that my experience must be fairly common. Sadly, being played is fairly common it seems.
I did send him an email (this was a long long while back you understand), and said that I felt like he was just waiting for the BBD (bigger better deal) and I was just 'OK' till then.
I never heard from him again. This confirms my feelings. I won't get into that situation again. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 4/21/2006 6:10:28 AM | | Well i can only speak from my experience,but iv dated men that were still active on POF and it always never turned out..........For me it was heart breaking knowing that the min i left his houseor before i walked in the door he was on POF! In my eyes he's a player, if he was truely into you he would give the relationahip a chance! and to continue to fish is not giving it a chance! Take your loses now i would say. See POF is like this ....its a all you can eat buffet no made how full and satisfied one is, they keep going back for more! I know the hurt and if he was really into you he won't be fishing! Good luck | |
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