Lorchy
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Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 276 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:08:59 AM | My two cents
I actually met my bf on here and we both are still active on the site. I of course question if we should be, considering it is more just for the chat and forums, but still it is something we both do.
I think if you are comfortable with your relationship and you have talked about it and actually state, in your profile, that you are on the site for a soul purpose and not to find someone then you are ok. I mean I am sure there are many people out there who are in relationships who do not tell there other that they are sites and that is just wrong.
I kind of think to that is the relationship is like at a certain stage then the profile should become deleted. But if you are open and honnest about it and hide nothing then so be it.
Dawn I think once you got engaged that if he didn't deleted you might be having a few issues. Good luck with that though! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/12/2006 6:54:44 AM | | im just finding out the same thing here! i decided for the first time in about 4 months to just come online to this site...only outta of bordem one evening to check out the forums....noticed the activity of my B/F still there and active.we've been dating for a bout 7 months...My brain is still spinning on this one...stillnot sure what to think about that ! | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/12/2006 5:05:44 PM | | Personally, I don't find anything wrong with a guy who is seeing someone to be still on an active dateing site. I met my boyfriend off of this site and things are going great! I would never be jelous or upset or think its wrong to have his profile still active. I still have a profile on this site but my purpose now,is to meet new people in order to make new friends. That is also what my man is choosing to do and I have no problem with it.Whats the point in haveing a relationship if you can't trust the person your with to be faithful? I trust my man with all of my heart and I think people who assume that just because a guy is talking to another girl or a girl is talking to another guy or whatever should really question what the point in their relationship is. I know I can trust my boyfriend just as he knows he can trust me. What is a relationship without trust? Think about it people. Is jelously really worth fighting over? I think not. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:30:07 PM | | Any person who would be be actively using their profile and actively dating someone on a regualr basis is pig, a dirty dog. It is just plain tacky to pimp yourself around while seeing someone. Come on - a profile is free you can take it down and if things don't work out, you put up a new one. Why insult the person if things are developing? I don't know maybe I should ask valentinoxoxo who did this to me for the last five weeks. PS: ladies, he's a****ess wonder. | |
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lfrl
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 282 | |
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ymmuy
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Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 283 | |
| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:49:20 PM | I read an article in the newspaper that pretty much said people in large cities stay single longer because they believe there is someone greater out there for them. Pretty much says that until a person figures out what they need, as opposed to what they want, they will always be in a constant quest to find something more.
To get to the bottom of it... he's still looking for something. You're checking on him because you don't trust him and possibly feel you're not great enough for him.
Cut your loses and move on. You need to realize that you're already good enough and you deserve so much more. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/13/2006 4:31:59 PM | I am sure we have all been there. For myself I was engaged for 8 months and he proposed, after a nasty break up. I went on the dating site and his name was there saved. everynight he would say he couldn;t sleep and go on the computer.
I think that if he tells you he has firends there . the problem would be why not use msn or yahoo chat.
Just speaking form past experinece. If it sounds fishy, it probably is | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/14/2006 10:32:38 AM | i just recently had this similar experience myself, I was dating a guy I met on pof for a few months, and we had the "profile" chat, he assured me he was not dating anyone else, and I had even told him if he wanted to still see other people its okay, but he needs to tell me. (I think when two people are sleeping together, its imperative to know for health reasons whether they are sleeping with others don't you think?) Anyway, i found out that he was dating other girls on pof, and it sucked....so I moved on.
My opinion is, have the profile chat quickly, let them know they can be honest with you, hopefully they will be....the profile chat doesn't have to be something to fear, it just lets both parties know exactly where they stand and whats wrong with that? If either person isn't ready to take their profile down, thats fine, maybe they need to see what else is out there...if that person is really into you, they would know it and wouldn't need to keep looking. Why try and force something anyway...if its going to work out it will. If they lie to you, thats not cool...there is no reason to lie. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/14/2006 11:50:35 AM | I think it is totally sick and wrong. Plain and simple, it is cheating. OP, there are no second chances here, as far as I am concerned. Either you are in an open and honest relationship or one or both of you is hiding something. Personally, I want honest or nothing. If he is on the site and just here to harmlessly chat with friends or post in the forums, that is one thing (but if he is shutting down windows when you are walking into the room, he IS hiding something).
I have met a lot of people here on pof who have found their SOs on the site WHILE they were dating. Some gave second chances, some didn't. The guy always turned out to be a cheater though (I consider thinking about it on your way to doing it)...if he is on here checkin other people out, trust me, he thinks there is greener grass. Or he is just a sicko. Some guys just don't know how to stick around, even when they are with the most incredible women.
DO yourself a favor and WALK AWAY! Once your trust is broken, and I think it has been, you can never fully have it back.
btw, i am not man bashing here, women do it too. i just believe in general that people who cannot keep their eyes on what they have do not respect their partner enough to be honest. without trust and honesty, any relationship is doomed. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/16/2006 4:36:42 PM | | And you gotta ask girls.. just ask.. make no demands. And for heaven's sake give the realationship time to grow before bringing it up! Just a note, a week does not constitute this right!! You don't own him, you can't control anyone else besides yourself ... so please don't try cuz you may lose him forever.. You have to be happy and secure in your own skin before you can be in a solid relationship. Learn to let go, if he feels strong enough about the relationship, he knows how to find you.. go have your own fun too..Do things you enjoy with friends..This is just my insight .....Anyway.. good luck and happy dating! :) | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/16/2006 5:32:41 PM | should u continue?? have you confronted him on this ??? i would
as for myself.....i despise the fact they are lookin outside their relationship...sad though so many are now days...whats this world comin to. startin to make me think..no one wants a monagounous relationship anymore. if someone talks to me an theyre attached in anyway...i say no thank you not interested in small chat..you have nothing i want....lol. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/18/2006 8:27:45 AM | | Well I have talked to him and well still nothing from him he wont admit that he is doing wrong. He says he doesnt know why he does it but that he isnt cheating. Well then what the hell is he on a dating site if he isnt planning on being with someone or trying to find a one nighter??? Its really sad that he does this because its not just hurting me its our 8 month old daughter that will be hurt in the long run. He needs to stop thinking with his smaller head and wake up and smell the coffee. He needs to think about his daughter forget about me think of her. I want her to grow up happy and have no need to be upset because her parents didnt work out because her father couldnt keep his snake in his pants. I dont know anymore. Seems as if I am just staying for her so she will grow up happy. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/18/2006 8:44:44 AM | No such thing as cheating on a date. We're dating, it means we're humping, we're looking--there ain't no "relationship" until diamond rings are brandished and the "L-word" rears its ugly head. Dating means we're both playing the field and thinking about No. 1! That's why people in relationships find us so despicable; because there's something vuglar and repellent about other people's happiness. | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/18/2006 9:38:04 AM | I dont think there is anything wrong with staying active on this particular dating site as long as its just for friendship and the forums.If this were strictly a dating or sex/hook up site,then I would have a problem with it.Ive been here for quite a while and have a pretty decent sized thread in the poetry forums where I love to post my writing.Ive also met some really nice people here (girls and guys ) that I enjoy chatting with on occasion via email,IM and the phone.The key to a fantastic relationship is trust and communication.I trust my boyfriend implicitly and I would never give him any reason not to trust me.Both of our profiles say were looking for just friends.I also make mention of him in my profile ,so its no secret Im in a great relationship. Neither of us have a problem with the other having friends of the opposite sex.Everyone has different opinions on this matter,so I say do what is most comfortable for you as a couple.Think of it this way....We all run into the opposite sex whether it be at work,shopping,when were out with friends,or just living our lives.If you cant trust someone to be where there are single people around there isnt much of a connection to begin with.JMHO  | |
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| What do you think of a guy who is in a relationship and is still active on a dating site?
Posted: 5/21/2006 12:55:50 PM | This has happened to me in the past and have felt hurt also. It is not right for anyone (man or woman) that has gotten involved in a relationship to be still in and active on a date site. I say tell him that you know he is still active and let him explain his side.
Bottom line is that he is still looking and you need to move on. | |
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